A laptop screen, with a web browser pulled up on a dating website.

Steve Rogers, it read. Age 35, blond, looking for the right partner. Open to meet with someone on a blind date.

The mouse was moving to the bottom, where a plethora of people had clicked the button to meet with Steve, and accepted some.

The camera turned to reveal a smirking Natasha.

"If the dinosaur won't get out on his own, I'll just have to help him."


The camera was in a restaurant, angled as though it had replaced a security camera, and was focused so that it was looking down at table 12, where a blond-haired man sat with a collared shirt and tie, waiting for his date.

A woman walked towards the table, wearing a Captain America shirt, hat shoes, and patriotic pants, not to mention all of the Captain America jewelry she had on. The woman was literally trembling.

She dashed up to Steve, knelt at his side and grabbed his hand. Steve, too stunned to react in time, froze.

"OhmygoshohmygoshCaptainRogersImean YOUR MAJESTY IamyourbiggestfanIknoweverythingaboutyouandIstalkyouoneverysocialmediasiteI'M ACTUALLY TOUCHING CAPTAIN AMERICA!" The woman said, before fainting, still holding Steve's hand with an iron grip.

Steve slowly pried her off as Clint, dressed as a waiter, walked out of the back of the restaurant, winked at Steve, and dragged the woman over to the bathrooms.

A few of the other customers were starting to stare.

Another woman came in, headed for the now slightly wary Captain. This one, at least, was dressed normally, wearing a flowery dress. This lady was older than the last one as well.

"Hello," she said, sitting across from Steve. "I'm Amelia Perriweather. I hear you're interested in the job?"

"Job," Steve repeated tentatively.

"Why, yes. Looking over my babies! You see, my darlings need to be taken care of when I'm away, and I can't always be there. Of course, most people don't interview for this kind of thing, but I take my precious sweethearts' welfare very seriously."

"You have kids….." Steve was giving Amelia a strange look, as though he wasn't sure what his emotions wanted to do with his face right then.

"Oh, no! Never! Were you not advertising looking for this job? Look, here are my babies."

She pulled out a roll of photos, and began displaying them to Steve. They were cats. A lot of cats.

"This is Jose. This is Esmeralda. This is Pookins, he has stress problems, so you'll have to make sure you comfort him regularly…"

"Um, I don't think -"

"This is Theodora. This is Willard, he has digestion problems, so you may need to clean up after him when he throws up, and –"

"NO! No, no no."

The lady paused, her hand on Willard's photo, a fat, ugly cat, and she was only halfway through the stack.

"Listen," said Steve. "I'm here looking for a date. Not cats."

Amelia looked the Avenger up and down.

"Well, you are good looking. But I'm afraid I cannot date a man who can't appreciate my darlings."

And with that, she picked up her purse and walked out. Steve sighed with relief. He pulled a walkie-talkie out of his pocket.
"Nat, the next one had better be good, or else –"

He looked up suddenly, as a very old woman in a wheelchair entered the building, and wheeled her way over to the table.

"Am I late?" she asked, her voice quiet and frail.

"Peg," Steve whispered, a smile slowly spreading across his face.

"Steve." She smiled back.

Steve looked up at the camera, seeming to only just notice it there.

"Why don't we take a walk, and I'll what I've been up to?" he asked.

She put her right hand on the controller of the electric wheelchair.

"That would be marvelous," replied Peggy Carter, as he took her other hand and the pair exited the room.


"Oh, well. I guess the girlfriend problem will have to wait," said Natasha as she pulled the camera down from the wall and stopped the recording.