Gilbert and Sullivan Singalong
An oldie that never made it to my LiveJournal, though it still makes me smile.
Pairings : Sherlock/John, Moriarty/Moran, Mycroft/Lestrade, Lestrade/Sherlock
Rating : PG-13 for Jim's perfectly scandalous behaviour towards pretty young sweethearts and wives
1. Sherlock/John :
"All right. D'you have a boyfriend?"
"Never."
"Never?"
"..."
"..."
"Well, hardly ever."
2. Moriarty/Moran :
"For I'm called Little Buttercup, Little Buttercup,
Though I could never tell why..."
"Blimey, Boss, it's three a.m. Cut the caterwauling and come back to bed."
"I've snuff movies and and excellent jack-knives
I've scissors and blades to cut off the faces
Of pretty young sweethearts and wives
I've mmfmrff..."
"Yeah, well, snipers should never be shy. You want a song and dance, Jim, I can provide both."
3. Mycroft/Lestrade :
I am the very model of a maj... minor State employee,
I have information brought to me through CCTV
I know the Queen of England, though in no way biblical,
Can name her sixty-one Corgis in order alphabetical.
I know everyone's history, I am 1984,
I answer baffled supremos, I've a pretty taste in brollies,
I'll remember every sobriquet my PA may favour,
In jiujitsu and baritsu I could floor the best Senseis.
I've been known to coax a peace treaty from Arafat
And show Comrade Putin the noble art of vodka-gin
I can smile winningly when smuggling men for chit-chat
And whistle all the airs from Sherlock's infernal violin.
In fact, when I know what is meant by "blush" and "squee"
When I feel brave enough to hazard a coy "woo-hoo !",
When "snog" and "shag" are no longer terra incognita to me
And I've had private lessons at a certain police HQ...
In short, when I have a smattering of sentimental strategy,
I'll be the very model of a minor government employee.
4. Lestrade/Sherlock
(To be sung by a very drunk Lestrade during a Yarders' pub night. Sally, Anderson and Dimmock all volunteered to provide the mournful chorus. At first.)
When Sherlock's not engaged in his experiments,
(His experiments)
Or rendezvousing a felon as one of his little jokes,
(Little jokes)
His capacity for innocent enjoyment
(Innocent, my arse!)
Is just as great as any honest bloke's.
(...)
Look, mates, just say the damn words after me, damnit !
Our feelings we with difficulty smother
(... Sir?)
When watching over the handsome bugger.
(... SIR ?!)
Ah, take one consideration with another,
(Sir, you can't be serious, sir!)
A DI's lot is not a happy one, happy one.
(The chorus crumbles down in devastated whispers.)
