Dean was acting weird, and not the kind of weird that Sam had grown to expect from him. It wasn't the usual tension of his brother holding in all of his emotions until he was about to explode. It was the kind of uneasiness that meant he wanted to talk, but didn't know how to bring up whatever was on his mind.

It had already been days of Dean's aborted sentences and awkward silences, and Sam was about to lose his mind.

He was used to his brother being too loud. He was used to being forced to ignore Dean's rants, and obnoxious laughter to focus on his school work. He was not used to his brother being quiet and contemplative. It was distracting in a way that Dean's usual attitude just wasn't anymore. The nervous energy radiating off his brother was disrupting his studying completely.

Luckily, he was already prepared for his finals, and had been mostly reading over the few things he may have forgotten from earlier in the semester. All of his papers were turned in, and all he had to worry about were the actual tests. Fortunately for Dean, that is. Otherwise Sam may have already strangled his brother.

He'd taken to hiding in his room, trying to find peace. The thing with Dean was, if Sam pushed too hard before he was ready, he'd clam up and it might be months before he'd find out what was on his mind. Sam knew this from experience. The best way to handle the situation was to ignore it, for now. Dean would come to him when he was ready to talk.

He didn't really have time to worry about what might be going on with Dean, but he couldn't seem to keep his mind from wandering to the subject. Dean may not have been predictable to most people, but Sam knew him better than anyone else. He was usually so in tune with Dean that he knew what was on his older brother's mind days before he said anything. It made him nervous. He didn't like being in the dark this time.

So, even while he avoided contact in an attempt to ignore his brother, his thoughts still surrounded Dean's issue. He'd yet to figure out what the problem was, and the more outrageous explanations his mind had come up with were becoming more and more believable as the days went by. That wasn't helping his concentration either.

At least he had Gabriel to distract him. Their unlikely friendship had blossomed over their shared fascination with the tension between Castiel and Dean. It turned out that Gabriel was as surprised to find his brother attracted to another man as Sam had been. The mutual intrigue of it all had been the catalyst they'd needed, and hardly a day went by now that he didn't receive a text from the other man.

Gabriel was a joker, constantly working to make Sam laugh, and although he'd never really thought about it before, apparently that was something Sam needed in his life. It was mostly mindless entertainment, but it seemed to work fairly efficiently at clearing away his anxiety and improving his mood. Not that Gabriel only sent jokes. Sometimes they talked about more serious things, and that was nice too.

Sam had never really been good at making his own new friends, and Gabriel was nothing like any of the friends he'd had before. It was nice to have someone to talk to, though. Even if Gabriel's playful attitude and mischievous nature took some getting used to.

He pulled open a book, trying to force Dean and Gabriel out of his mind so he might actually get some of his work done.


The soft knock on his door pulled Sam out of his reading. It was a welcome break, even if Dean just came to spread his nervous energy.

"What's up?" He hollered toward the door, looking up from his book as his brother's nervous face peered at him from the doorway.

"Uh, do you have a minute?" Even Dean's voice was nervous, which didn't bode well for the rest of the conversation. At least, it seemed that Sam was about to find out what had his brother so on edge.

"Yeah, come on in." He sighed and closed his book, willing to give Dean his full attention for whatever had been weighing on his mind.

Dean looked incredibly uncomfortable as he made his way to the bed where Sam was seated. Sam pulled his legs up to make space for his brother to sit, but Dean ignored the offered spot. He chose to lay down beside him instead, pulling his legs up by Sam and dropping his head toward the other end.

Dean's actions only served to worry him further, and he pushed himself to lay opposite his brother. Their positioning was reminiscent of their childhood, when they would lay end to end just like they were. It brought up memories of when things were at their worst, and neither of them wanted to be alone. They would lay opposite of each other, taking a small amount of comfort from the other's presence. Sometimes they would spend the hours talking and sometimes they would spend the time in silence, just being with each other so they wouldn't have to be alone. This time, though, Sam got the impression that the position was more so Dean wouldn't have to look him in the face while they talked. He could stare up at the ceiling and pretend he was only talking to himself.

"What's on your mind?" Sam asked quietly, keeping his voice low as if Dean might be spooked. With the way he'd been acting lately, it could actually be a possibility.

"I've just been doing some thinking."

There was an uncomfortable silence, and Sam finally broke with a leading, "Okay…"

"I don't really know where to start with this." Dean admitted, blowing out a frustrated breath and falling back into silence.

This time Sam allowed it, knowing his brother was only trying to gather his thoughts.

"I've just been thinking about some stuff I've never really thought about before, and it's really messing me up. I think, if I can get it off my chest I might feel better."

Dean seemed to be explaining his reasoning for being there as a way to break the ice. Sam knew better than to try to push him into something

"I just… I've lived my life a certain way, and I always thought it was right. But now I just don't know."

"What is this about, Dean?" And although he'd promised himself he wasn't going to push while Dean was clearly uncomfortable, he was beginning to have a real fear about where this was going.

Dean sighed heavily, and the silence that followed made Sam fear he really had pushed too hard. Before he could apologize, though, Dean finally spoke again. "I think I might be attracted to dudes."

All of Sam's fears washed away so quickly, he could actually feel the tension leaving his body. "Oh my god. This is about Cas!" Sam let out a relieved rush of breath. "I thought you were having doubts about quitting your job, or living in Texas, or living with me! Holy crap, dude. You've had me nervous for days!"

He'd been concentrating so hard on getting through the last couple of weeks of school, and had completely forgotten his discoveries about his brother's affection for their neighbor. If he'd been paying attention he'd have noticed that Dean had been acting weird ever since he'd spent that night alone with Castiel during the last storm.

Dean sat up quickly, turning an incredulous look on Sam. "Who said anything about Cas?"

"Come on, Dean. You've been crushing on the guy for months! Who the hell else would you be talking about?" Sam didn't even bother sitting up to face his brother. He knew that would only make Dean more defensive anyway.

"How the hell do you know that?" The question was sincere instead of being filled with the bravado that Sam had been expecting.

If Dean was actually going to act like an adult, then Sam supposed he could too. He pulled himself up and crossed his legs so they could face each other.

"I do have eyes, dude."

Silence seemed to be Dean's only answer to that, and Sam let it stretch on as long as his brother might need it to.

"How long have you known?" Dean finally asked, and the look he gave Sam said he was a bit unsettled at the thought that Sam had been able to pick up on his feelings at all.

"A few weeks."

Dean let out an explosive breath. A sound that may have been a second of disbelieving laughter. "Well, you figured it out before I did."

"I know." Sam sent his brother a little smirk at that. The look he knew Dean hated, because it said he thought he was smarter than his brother. It didn't even get a rise out of him this time.

"I don't really know what I'm supposed to do." Dean admitted, fingering the seam on his pants in another show of nerves. It was strange watching his brother act that way. Dean had never been the nervous type before.

"What do you want to do?" Sam didn't want to pressure his brother into doing anything he was uncomfortable with. Just because he'd figured out he had a crush didn't mean he had to do anything about it, really.

"I don't know." And Dean truly did look torn.

They sat in silence for a minute while Sam decided how much he could tell his brother without breaking any confidences. "Would it make a difference if I told you that I think Castiel feels the same way?"

Dean actually looked surprised at that. Sam wasn't sure if he was surprised by the information, or at the fact that Sam had been analyzing what was between the two men before Dean had even said anything. Maybe he was just shocked that Sam was willing to help him work through the whole thing.

"What makes you think that?"

And here was the part where he was going to have to tread lightly. "Well, Gabriel, mostly."

Not that Gabriel had asked him not to tell Dean anything, but he didn't want to jeopardize the rapport he'd developed with the other man.

"You two are gossiping about us?" That incredulous look was back.

"We were kind of in the same boat. We were commiserating, not gossiping."

"In the same boat how?"

"Well, Castiel hasn't ever shown interest in a guy before, either." It probably wasn't his place to say much more than that.

Dean sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. "Great. Neither one of us will know what we're doing."

Sam raised an eyebrow at that. "Does that mean you're planning to do something about it?"

Dean's reaction was sudden and animated, his hands flying out to the sides. "I don't know, Sam! This is all just a little weird for me, you know?" He sighed again, settling back down into the same thoughtful state he'd been in before his outburst.

"At least you're handling it well."

Sam was confused by that addition. "What did you think I would do?"

"Well, I was reading about some people that have come out to their families, and it ended pretty badly sometimes."

And now Sam was exasperated by his brother again. At least they were on solid ground there. "Dean, I marched with Aaron at that gay pride parade like two years ago. Did you think I only excepted the people that were outside of my family?"

Dean looked surprised for a moment, and then understanding seemed to dawn on him. "I forgot about that." He admitted, and then paused thoughtfully. "And I was super weirded out about it, too. I'm the worst dude that likes other dudes, ever."

"Well, maybe now that you've gotten yourself a little more figured out, you'll be less weird about it." Sam said, aiming for optimism.

"Yeah, don't count on it. I'm still weirded out about this whole thing."

They were back into the mode of contemplative silence. It was actually nice to see his brother this way, now that he knew what it was all about. The only problem was that it was getting late, and Sam still had a few things he wanted to cover before he could take his test with confidence.

"Well, I really do need to read some of this tonight." He hated running his brother off, but there wasn't any more he could contribute to Dean's dilemma anyway.

"Oh. Yeah." Dean nodded and pushed himself off the bed, but didn't move to leave. "Uh...thanks."

"What for?" Sam knew he looked confused, but Dean was bad about talking through his emotions, and it was completely unexpected that he'd take the time to thank Sam for listening.

"I wasn't kidding about that stuff I read. This could have been really ugly, and you're the only family I've got left."

"I know. Don't worry about it, man." Sam tried to sound reassuring. This must have really been eating away at his brother.

"Alright, well, get your homework done." Dean said, patting him on the shoulder roughly. He then turned on his heel and headed out of the room like he had a mission.

Sam just shook his head at his brother's ridiculousness. He really did need to study, but there was something he needed to do first. He pulled out his phone and shot off a text message as soon as the door closed behind his brother.

Sent: It's time for you to get to work on your brother.

Gabriel:Oh yeah? Why's that?

Sent: My brother and I just had a very interesting conversation.

Gabriel: Really? Hm...I thought it'd be Cas first

Sent: I did too

Gabriel: I'll see what I can get out of him

Sent: Thanks

Yes, his studying was going to go much smoother now that he didn't have to worry about Dean. He smiled to himself as he pulled his book back up and got to work.