"I did what bro?" Don asked.
Rigby shook the snow off and lowered the arm he used to point at Don menacingly. He brandished his teeth and hummed with a low growl.
Margaret always described that as "adowable".
"The one thing I look forward to my entire life and you just… Just… Defile it!"
Don was unmoved by his brother's anger. He simply looked down at Rigby with the deepest admiration Mordecai's seen anyone have for another person. Don did look a little confused after Rigby just started to yell gibberish, but he smiled nonetheless.
"You were looking forward to MWAT classes all you're life? You found out about more than a week ago." chuckled Mordecai.
A brown and black blur materialized by Mordecai's side. Mordecai readjusted his glasses to make sure he wasn't seeing something not there.
"Mordecai! It was horrible! Mordecai!"
Rigby gripped onto one of Mordecai's arms and ouch. His paws dug into him like his life depended on it.
"Dude, dude, stop whining. And stop grabbing my arm so tight."
"Tell us how we can help, Rigbone." Don offered sweetly.
Rigby viciously turned to Don. "Why don't you shut up!"
"You know what you need Grumpy Bear? A nice sandwich!" Don trotted off to the kitchen, at which point Mordecai decided Don was too nice for his own good.
I can't believe there was a time-
"He ruins EVERYTHING!" Rigby sobbed.
His thoughts were interrupted by Rigby's complaints. Mordecai almost missed Rigby's whining. Next to Benson's tirades they were paradise. He would have preferred to have neither, if he has ever given a choice.
"I'm surprised Don just doesn't get fed up and step on you. Guess he's just patient like that." Mordecai tugged on his arm a little, but Rigby held on fiercely. "Dude I can't help if you don't tell me what happened."
"Okay. Okay." Rigby let go of Mordecai and took a ridiculously long breath. "Today, when I came in for MWAT… There was a new student that became my new partner."
"What? Was he a jerk or something?"
"No. Worse. It was… Erin." Rigby made the most disgusted face ever.
Mordecai wanted to laugh in his face.
"Dude who the 'h' is Erin?"
"Erin! You know Erin. Short mole chick that works with Margaret at the Coffee Shop with Margaret? Erin!"
Mordecai stared blankly, but suddenly lit up with recognition.
"Oh you mean Eileen!" Mordecai laughed a little and Rigby's mistake. "Eileen's cool, dude."
"She's horrible!"
"No she isn't… A little dorky perhaps but she's nice."
"Everything was going awesome and then she walked in and spent the entire class staring at me and asking me questions. Ugh! I mean, she wears glasses for heaven's sake. Who wears glasses anymore?"
Mordecai coughed abruptly and innocently tapped his own glasses. Rigby didn't notice.
Mordecai gave Rigby a pointed look and when he didn't catch on he asked, "How does Don tie into all this?"
"That Eleanor girl kept talking and talking until finally she told me that she heard I was taking the course from my brother, or should I say traitor with my face!"
Don entered with two ham sandwiches. "Eileen did sign up? Awesome! I was at the Coffee Shop the other day and I struck up a conversation. She was considering doing the Magic classes and almost talked herself out, but I convinced her otherwise. Now you have a friend inside big bro!"
Rigby tensed up and kept showing off his teeth. "She is NOT my friend."
"Oh? Well then you guys can become friends! You can't ever have enough friends."
"When you go to sleep tonight, I'm gonna smother you with that Miami Vice pillow you like so much!"
"Aw, I'm sorry bro. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. I just noticed you told Mordecai, and random people on the street…"
"That's different!" Rigby bellyached.
"No it's not Rigby. Thanks for the sandwich Don."
Don smiled at Mordecai and retreated back into the kitchen.
"I don't wanna talk about it anymore. Tomorrow I'm going to pull myself out, and pretend none of this ever happened." Rigby crossed his arms and pouted.
"Well whatever you gotta do dude."
Mordecai yawned and Rigby perked up. He hadn't seen Mordecai in awhile, after all.
"Dude! What about you? How are things with Benson?" snickered Rigby.
"Uh. I don't want to hear that name ever again."
"Ah, that sucks man." Rigby said, not really sympathetic. More like amused and giggly. "What'd he do?"
Mordecai preceded to tell Rigby everything that had happened since everyone but him and Benson left the house. The snow salt, the plasma TV, the asshole plants, and finally the friggin' list. Rigby listened intently and nodded along enthusiastically until finally Mordecai's update was done. Rigby's lips quivered at first, and Mordecai could see how Rigby was resisting, trying to keep his face normal, but eventually he lost the battle and busted out laughing. Mordecai groaned.
"It's not funny, dude."
"Yes it is! Haha! Dude you kicked a TV in it's face! Then you spent a day watering those asshole plants-"
"I friggin' hate those fichus trees."
"Me too man! And to top it all of Benson gives you a list of crap you can't do. Nice!" Rigby laughed some more.
"Yeah, well you wouldn't be laughing so hard if you were in my shoes." Mordecai grumbled.
"You're right. But I'm not. So I can do this."
Rigby went into Mordecai personal space and laughed his hardest, then fell back onto the couch and laughed. He sat up whilst still laughing and then pointed at Mordecai. And laughed. Mordecai sat and waited until the laughing stopped (three minutes of laughing) and Rigby caught his breath.
"After I pummel you into the ground, I think I've got something to raise our spirits… If you catch my drift." Mordecai suddenly became very intense, and Rigby devilishly smiled.
"Oh I know exactly what you mean." Rigby rubbed his paws together. "I bring the matches; you just pick the time and place."
Mordecai stared at Rigby, mortified. "I was talking about messing with Benson and his stupid list. What the hell were you talking about?"
"Uh, nothing. Nothing at all. Let's do what you said."
"Right…" Mordecai looked at Rigby sideways but continued on. "Now all we gotta do is figure out what to do first…."
"Nice!"
"Nicer."
"Nicest!"
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1. No use of the house phones after 11pm.
The first was pretty easy to get around. Benson said the rule was necessary so that Mordecai wouldn't keep him up with late night phone calls.
Two days after he was given the list, (New Years passed with very little fanfare) Mordecai came home from reviewing the plan with Rigby and a few other friends of his and went to find Benson.
He was just coming in from the back door in the kitchen, and Mordecai stopped to apologize for his attitude before.
Benson was instantly suspicious.
"Why the pleasantries, all of a sudden?"
Benson was wearing a red flannel shirt and a white t-shirt underneath that and some boot cut jeans, which confused Mordecai because Benson didn't bother to wear clothes before. He held a medium sized box ever so carefully, and Mordecai was tempted to peek inside. Benson kept the box close to himself.
"I just figured I was being unreasonable. I promise from this day forward to follow all of the rules to a tee. As long as you can tweak some of them. So I can follow them better." Mordecai smiled with no teeth, he didn't want to come of insincere.
Benson didn't look too convinced, but couldn't see anything amiss in Mordecai's words, so he shrugged. This cause the box he was holding to get away from him, and he struggled to balance it in his hands, so Mordecai naturally went to help. Benson backed away like Mordecai was going to hurt him.
"Do… You need help with that?" Mordecai eyed Benson, his reaction to Mordecai was a little odd.
"No!" Benson yelled, then lowered his voice. "No. Just. I got it, thank you."
Cue awkward silence.
"We can discuss revisions to the list later." Benson looked down at his box, filled with what was the question.
"Sweet. Thanks. I'm going to bed now, so… "
Mordecai quickly turned to leave, and before he touched the first step, he heard Benson call to him.
"Mordecai!"
Mordecai hesitated a little but looked back to see Benson standing there with the box balanced on his knee somewhat.
Benson looked a little embarrassed, like he really didn't want to say what he was about to say. "Uh… Could you…?" Benson gestured to the box with his head.
"Oh sure."
Mordecai went to him and took the box.
JesusMaryJoseph it was heavy. Mordecai was surprised Benson was able to carry it through the door.
"Just upstairs to the guest room."
Mordecai's knees wobbled as he went up the stairs. The guest room seemed to be miles away.
What's in here? Boulders?
Benson went in front of Mordecai to open the door for him and Mordecai dropped Benson's box on the bed, and collapsed on the bed himself. Benson rolled his eyes.
"Dramatic much?"
"This thing is heavy! What is in this box?" Mordecai asked out of breath.
Benson smirked a bit. But it wasn't bitter. It was like he remembered something funny.
"Personal stuff."
Mordecai looked at Benson with curiosity as he gently pushed the box into his closet.
He saw that little smile.
"What kind of personal stuff?" asked Mordecai.
Benson stood up straight and studied him.
"The kind that's personal."
"That's not really descriptive." Mordecai sat up on the bed.
"Don't you have better things to do then quiz me?"
"Yes." Mordecai said. "But you've caught my attention."
Benson sighed and looked down at his shoes.
"Just some stuff from college." Benson furrowed his eyebrows. "Why do you care?"
Mordecai didn't know why he wanted to know. He always had this weird impulse to find out new things about people.
"Just curious." Mordecai shrugged. "Is it like, really embarrassing? Like dirty magazines?"
Benson's head shot up. "No!"
Mordecai laughed at Benson's reaction. "Then what is it?"
Benson leaned against a wall. Mordecai could tell he didn't really want to tell him.
The guest room, then inhabited by Benson looked clean and uninteresting. The curtains perfectly positioned and the wood floors shiny. It was already dark out, and the little lamp on the white nightstand was surprisingly luminescent. It almost seemed like it was morning inside the room, and no where else.
Bright yet uninteresting. Clear but vague.
Yep. This is Benson's room.
"So… Are you gonna leave? Or…"
"Can't you just tell me what's in the box? If it's nothing embarrassing then it shouldn't matter."
Benson took a deep breath.
Why am I telling him this? Why won't he just leave?
"They're records, alright? Happy? Now get out."
"Holy shit really? The kind you put on a record player?"
"That's how they're usually played."
Mordecai face palmed. "Ha! Right, stupid question. Can I listen to-"
"No. No you can't. Thanks for the help but you gotta go. Go!"
Benson pulled Mordecai up and rushed him out, much to Mordecai's protests.
"Aw, c'mon! Lemme see-"
"If you go anywhere near my room or that box, you're dead."
And with that Benson closed the door with a tiny slam. Mordecai could hear the lock click.
He stared at the closed door stupidly.
"Well goodnight to you too, then. Jeez."
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It was five minutes past eleven when the phone ringing started.
Mordecai laid on the sofa, half asleep, but progressively woke himself up.
The phones continued to ring. And ring. And ring. And ring.
But Mordecai stayed lying on the sofa.
He made sure to turn the answering machines off, so whoever was calling could keep trying.
So the phones kept ringing. And ringing. And ringing. And ringing.
The ring was high pitched and persisted without fail. Benson came downstairs sooner or later to answer the phone in the kitchen.
"Who is this?" Mordecai heard Benson ask groggily.
Nobody said anything, as Mordecai assumed and Benson got irritated.
He asked again.
Still nothing was said, if they had followed Mordecai's directions. Benson hung the phone up, walked past the sofa and went back upstairs.
He was slightly annoyed, Mordecai observed.
Eleven thirty and the phones rung again. Except when Benson answered it the ringing continued after he hung up.
Benson groaned and hung the phone up again.
He walked past the sofa again, but not before looking over to see Mordecai was wide awake.
"Why haven't you been answering the phone?"
Mordecai yawned. "Against the rules."
Benson bit down hard on his lower lip and stormed off upstairs.
The ringing started up again and didn't stop until five am.
All Benson could hear was the ringing. He stayed up with wide eyes staring at the phone in his room as it rung. It didn't matter if he left them off the hook or unplugged them the freaking phones kept on FREAKING ringing.
Ringading! Ringading! Ringading! Ringading!
RINGADING! Ringading! RINGADING! Ringading! RINGADING! Ringading! RINGADING! Ringading!
RINGADING! RINGADING! RINGADING! RINGADING! RINGADING!
Mordecai heard the constant ringing, and Benson's occasional yelling of complaints, and reminded himself he owed Rigby and the others a huge one.
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Alas, the victory was short lived.
As Mordecai shoveled snow off the porch for the third time, Benson got rid of all the phones in the house.
Mordecai heard him grunt as he pulled at the phone in the living room.
"Benson… What are you doing?"
Benson finally got the phone off and chucked it in the trash bag next to him. Mordecai stood helplessly.
"I was just thinking… As I should have been asleep," Benson said as he ripped the last phone out of the wall. "That the phones are a little distracting. Don't you agree?"
"Not really! No! How are people supposed to call us?"
"I have a cell phone." Benson answered with a smile.
Benson wore his yellow coat that fit him snugly and the black scarf. Instead of the boots that were too big for him he just wore some jeans and shoes that looked too small.
Seriously? Where the hell are all the clothes coming from?
"Let me rephrase… How are people supposed to call me? And what if I need to call the police and you're not here?"
"Oh I'll always be here." Benson said, smile a little manic. "Don't you worry about that. And if Rigby needs to talk to you so badly you can visit him at Don's."
Benson threw the phone in a trash bag as Mordecai sucked on his teeth. He did not anticipate that. Though in hindsight he totally should have seen it coming.
"It was Rigby that was calling last night?" Mordecai tried and failed to sound nonchalant.
"Mhmm. Some other guys too… Not that you didn't know that."
Benson put the trash bag near the kitchen back door and Mordecai followed. His glasses fogged up but he was too preoccupied to clear them.
"Don't you think this is a little extreme?"
Benson stopped everything he was doing and faced Mordecai. The best way Mordecai could describe Benson at that time was 'Serial Killer Calm'.
"Yeah. I guess it is. But it's not as extreme as say, organizing a small group of friends to bombard the house phones all night. Now that's extreme."
Mordecai backed off and stared at Benson like he was crazy… Because he was crazy.
"That's insane."
"Oh, just loony."
Benson stared Mordecai down.
Tit for tat I suppose. We just gotta get clever…
"I'm just gonna… Finish the porch." Mordecai slowly walked away, and Benson shook his head then left out the back door.
It was a time for a celebratory cigarette and some pictures of the park landscape.
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Benson ended up shooting the trees again.
He knew that he really should be more versatile, try something different, but the trees just looked so gorgeous covered with snow.
The trees near the eastern playground were especially beautiful. He has just there amongst the lonely swings and cheerfully snapped away.
The ringing phones were a distant memory.
Oh he was stilled pissed. Don't misunderstand that, and if Mordecai pulled anymore shit like that they were gonna have a full on war. But right then, he was at peace.
Just his camera and him. No one else. Perfection.
He had an old camera, one he had bought years ago because Diane Arbus had and he just had to have it too, but it didn't have the same quality. Not that he minded.
Newer didn't always equate to better.
The pictures were coming out odd though, he had to admit.
He was developing them the other day and no matter what angle, without fail, a huge… Something kept obstructing the view. Some pictures were clear and some pictures had that damn blur. It was faint and to an unskilled photographer unnoticeable but that blur bothered the hell out of Benson.
Benson took the last few pictures he needed and folded up his camera, but soon he heard a twig snap.
Benson spun around fast and saw no one, but he knew better.
I've seen enough horror movies to know the curious assholes die first.
Benson put his camera in the case and began to jog back to the house when heard something else.
Benson's listened closer.
Is… That sounds like crying? Somebody's crying out here?
He thought that was pretty odd, considering the park was closed and no one could get in without a key to the main entrance gate but tried to find the maybe crying person anyway.
"Hello?" Benson voice reverberated in the air and he heard no response back.
Benson waited, feeling the snow's cold penetrate his clothes and freeze him up.
"The park is closed for the remainder of January!" Benson yelled to no one.
The sobbing got louder.
Benson had an uneasy feeling in his stomach.
He decided that he had better find this person already and go back inside.
It was then, just when he had given up looking, that Benson saw Pops underneath the slide crying his eyes out.
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Pops ate up his soup happily, and smiled at Benson once he wrapped a blanket around him.
"Benson my good man, thank you for the porridge."
Mordecai looked at the older man with worry.
"Pops what are you doing here?"
Pops suddenly became very sullen and his voice got softer. "Papa promised me a vacation with just us two. No work, no talk of business… But I rarely saw him since I was dropped off! He's been to busy with his newest acquaintance. Some Jerry fellow." Pops hung his head.
"Jerry?" Benson and Mordecai said simultaneously.
"Yes. It appears Papa loves Jerry more than me. So I ran away. My plan was to escape to Port Ricko."
Benson's face twisted in confusion. "I think you mean Puerto Rico, Pops. And you can't walk there. You'd have to take a plane."
"Yes, that is something I learned a bit too late. I then returned here, where I knew you two would be."
"Sorry Pops." Mordecai patted Pops on his shoulder.
"It's quite alright. At least now I'm amongst comrades."
Benson sadly smiled.
"Well you can stay here for the night, but we're gonna have to call your father to pick you up."
"What? No!" Mordecai contested.
Benson shot him a nasty look, but Mordecai ignored him and spoke to Pops.
"Pops? Do you wanna stay here instead of your father's?"
Pops clapped his hands together. "Oh yes! More than anything."
"Then there you go. You can stay!"
Pops hopped up and hugged both Benson and Mordecai at the same time. "Good show! Jolly good show! We are going to have the most delightful time!" Pops buzzed with excitement and ran upstairs to his room. "Tomorrow, we can break out the pictograph and really have ourselves a shin-dig!"
Mordecai smiled after Pops, happy to make him happy and soon was met with the "Flaming Stare of Death" from Benson.
"Why the hell did you tell him he could stay?" Benson angrily whispered.
"C'mon, Benson. I mean, his own father has been ignoring him. For days."
"He should be with his father, Mordecai."
Mordecai huffed and was silent for awhile. But just as the silence settled, "Everyone hates when you do that, Y'know."
"Do what?" Benson asked, exasperated.
"When you defend Mr. Maellard. Muscle Man, High Fives, Rigby, Skips and I hear what goes on in those meetings between you two." Mordecai didn't look at Benson. He kept his eyes everywhere else but Benson. "The guy treats you like shit, Benson. And you defend him like he's your friend."
Benson narrowed his eyes. "I don't defend him. He's just a busy man and he would appreciate it if-"
"He's not here. You don't have to stick up for the old bastard." Mordecai said, getting annoyed himself.
"You don't think I know that? Really? You think I'm totally oblivious to that?" Benson barked out. "He's a decrypted old asshole who's making my job worse. Sorta like what you're doing right now."
Mordecai harshly retorted, "You're making your own job worse!"
"Oh please. I'm not the one you delivered a flying kick to a TV. Which cost as much as a small island, I might add."
Mordecai bitterly laughed and got up from the couch, shaking his head.
"Where are you going? This discussion isn't over!"
"I can't talk to you when you're yelling at me." Mordecai sighed.
"I'm not yelling at you!"
Mordecai stopped in his tracks. He lowered his voice, and spoke softly and clearly to his boss. "I'm going to say goodnight to Pops, then go to sleep myself. We can do whatever you wanna do tomorrow. I'm not gonna interfere anymore. You… You're so…"
Mordecai struggled with his words and his tongue kept getting in the way, until he just gave up and turned his back.
Benson ran up behind him and spun Mordecai around.
"What? What were you gonna say?"
Mordecai looked dead in Benson's eyes. It was a little unsettling.
"You're exhausting. You're exhausting, Benson. Have you ever noticed how pissed off you are? Yeah, I screw up and it gets under you skin, I take full responsibility for my actions. But… You get pissed off. At everything. You just… Radiate anger. All the time."
Benson backed off. He blinked a few times and finally stared at Mordecai in amazement.
"You think I'm exhausting… Really? Me?"
Mordecai shrugged. "Maybe Pops needs to stay here. He loosens you up a little."
Mordecai advanced up the stairs and left Benson alone.
He crossed his arms and let out a breath he had no idea he was holding in. He began to laugh at Mordecai's words, promptly deciding they were pure bullshit.
Benson looked up the stairs, as if Mordecai would appear again.
He wanted to yell up the stairs that Mordecai was just as exhausting, maybe even more so then he supposedly was, but stopped himself.
Benson realized it was much later than he thought, it was pitch black outside and he was tired.
He was just so tired.
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A/N: The updates are gonna be a little spazzy, I'm sorry. And Aug. 13 I'll be out of state so... It'll be inactive then. But then is not now... So enjoy! And to Dentist of Dragons, Yes. I literally have nothing better to do than write this. No sarcasm at all, I swear. Thus the upside to being a total social outcast. :D
