A/N: I'm baaaaack :) Well, for now I am. But, I'm feeling inspired with this fic again, so maybe I'll be able to finish it. Heads up, lots of colorful language in this chapter. What can I say, it's South Park. Enjoy, friends!
Chapter 9
"We should open presents," Bebe grinned, pushing herself up from her chair. The blonde went to stand behind Kyle and Butters, who were diligently making the salad.
"According to our agenda," her best friend began, "presents come after dinner."
Bebe laughed at Wendy, showing two rows of perfectly straight teeth. "But Kenny is going to love what we got him!" She ran her fingers through Kyle's hair, as if this would make him speak up against Wendy.
The redhead turned and sighed with defeat. "I honestly do not care what we do. This party is completely out of my control, and I doubt I ever really controlled it in the first place," Kyle said.
Bebe clapped her hands, an even larger grin spreading across her face. "Presents it is, bitches!" She skipped out of the room, followed by a sulking Wendy.
"Gee, Bebe must've gotten Kenny a really cool present," Butters noted.
Kyle grinned at Butters. All things considered, their relationship should've been a strained one; but Butters was truly impossible to dislike. "I guess we'll see," he replied.
The two men entered the living room to find Bebe sitting on Stan's lap, her fingers threaded into his hair. "Guess what, handsome?"
"What?" Stan asked, a light blush covering his cheeks. Kyle smirked.
Bebe smiled and the twirled a curl carelessly around her finger. She really was beautiful. Not in the drastic, sharp way Wendy was. Her beauty was all soft and warm, curves and curls and smiles. "Kenny's going to open presents now."
"You remembered ours, right?" Wendy asked, making eye contact with her husband.
Eric's mouth stayed poised open with his beer bottle halfway to his mouth. A guilty look spread across his face.
The dark haired woman's head shook the tiniest bit before she walked briskly over to her husband. In moments, the beer bottle was out of his hand and placed on the table and he was being pulled after her in the direction of the kitchen.
An awkward silence filled that living room, since all the occupants knew a Wendy vs. Cartman throw down was about to occur. Kyle ground his teeth and pinched his nose and more or less heaved Bebe off Stan's lap to follow the other couple. "Seriously, Bebe, seriously?" the redhead muttered.
Bebe huffed. "This is so not my fault, Kyle."
"Eric, I can honestly not believe you forgot the goddamn present! This is a surprise party for your best friend's birthday and it never crossed your mind to grab a fucking present?" Wendy was fuming. Figurative smoke was billowing from her beautiful ears. Eric knew he was in trouble.
"Looking over the fact that you could've brought the present this morning, but you were too busy being so fucking secretive, whatever. I'll go get it right now," Eric replied.
Wendy's face was slowly turning a weird shade of red. She stared at the man in front of her, wondering how he managed to be so infuriating. "Cartman!" she exploded. The woman hadn't called him that in years. It felt childish and strange on her tongue. "That isn't how the world works! Everything can't just be fixed that easily!"
Eric nodded his head. "Sure, but this can. And heads up, Testabitch, I know that this isn't the only thing bothering you." He turned on his heel, ready to stomp out of the kitchen.
His wife ran a lightly shaking hand beneath her eye, picking up a traitorous tear and some makeup. "Yes it is," she answered stonily.
He had been hoping she would crack, start crying, tell him she was pregnant, and, not only would his scheme be a success, but also, he'd know what was up with her. Before he could pushing open the swinging kitchen door, Kyle and Bebe came barreling in.
"Wends," Bebe started, her hand placed a top her bump, "you need to tell him."
"Tell me what?" Eric turned back around to look at his wife, who was glaring daggers at her best friend.
Wendy's dark gaze dropped to her shoes. "It's nothing, Eric. Just go pick up the gift."
"Wendy, if you don't tell him, I will. This isn't something you should hide." Kyle nodded his head slowly along with Bebe's words. He didn't really understand the big deal in the first place. Cartman and Wendy were married; kids were the next rung of the ladder. Wendy should be wanting kids.
The dark haired woman's eyes shot up. She looked at the blonde with anger and hurt, no trace of friendliness. "Like you're one to talk, Bebe," Wendy spat.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You know exactly what I mean." Wendy's voice shook slightly with the words, which caused her to seem slightly crazy. "And I am tired of being the keeper."
Bebe's eyes fluttered closed for a second. She did know what Wendy was talking about. The worst thing she had ever done in her life. "Wendy, stop."
Eric glanced around the room nervously. He hadn't meant to start anything this big and he was sure he'd be to blame later. The large man took a couple hesitant steps toward his wife, reaching a hand out to wrap around her wrist. Wendy snapped her arm away. "No. I'm tired of secrets and everyone just skirting around things. I'm tired of big, huge, fucking elephants filling the room."
This was nuts. Kyle had no idea what this issue between Wendy and Bebe was, but he definitely knew that it didn't need to be fleshed out in his kitchen. He had to fix this somehow. "Wendy's pregnant!" the redhead blurted. Immediately he regretted it. Cartman and Bebe both sported looks of shock and Wendy look even more insane than previously.
"Babe," Eric murmured as he tried to reach out to his wife again.
"Hey, Kyle," Wendy grinned, "have you ever noticed how alike Stan and Craig look?" A weird, mean little laugh left her mouth.
"Please," Bebe whispered. "You're my best friend in the world, Wendy."
Kyle, unsure of how to respond to this question and noticing the silent tears streaming down Bebe's cheeks, nodded. "Yeah, sure."
Wendy stalked over to Kyle, looking like some sort of dangerous super model. "Well, get this," she said. "Jack is not Stan's."
The redhead's eyebrows immediately shot up as he looked between the two women. Bebe looked like she was about to collapse. "He's…"
"The kid is Craig's! And I've known that for like 8 years now and never told a soul. Of course, some people like to just go around spilling secrets left and right—oh. Hey, Stan."
The kitchen door swung back and forth on its hinge. The only sound in a now silent kitchen. "Bebe," Stan whispered with tears forming in his clear eyes.
Bebe slid down the wall until the floor, sobbing. Wendy stood center stage in this disaster, looking meaner than she ever had in her life. Eric Cartman was afraid of his wife for the first time he could remember. The door opened again for Craig and Tweek. "Is e-everything—ack—OK in here? We heard screaming?"
"Oh, you're just in time," Wendy sneered.
Frustrated and done with whatever this melt-down was, Eric grabbed the woman and pulled her to his chest. "You stop this, now," he whispered in her ear. He felt her body go limp against him, relaxed. "I don't know what the fuck this is, but stop it. You're ruining people's lives here." Everyone hated Eric, but he did not want people hating Wendy. She was better than that. He pressed a kiss to her hair.
Stan was shaking, his mouth opening and closing like a goddamn fish. Kyle knew that this was not good. An outburst was coming. "Everyone needs to relax right fucking now," Kyle shouted. "This is Kenny's goddamn day and he deserves the best of all of us. You all ruined his party." The man left the kitchen.
"Can someone tell me what is going on?" Craig asked, flipping off the general population.
Bebe looked up at her friend, a best friend, a man she had once that she loved. She swiped a hand at her tears. He husband still stood now slightly panting above her. "Jack is yours," she whispered.
Craig stared at Bebe. He did not fully understand what she was saying, all he knew was that he wished he had his hat on. He felt much too naked at the moment. The dark haired man whipped his beloved chullo of Tweek's head before thinking and jammed it on to his own. Everyone's eyes were now trained on the blonde's hair.
"Oh, Tweek," Bebe murmured.
"Shit," Stan whispered.
Craig looked at his shoes while he flipped the room off for a second time. "Stop fucking staring at him for Christ's sake," he muttered.
Wendy randomly burst into tears and tore herself out of her husband grasp. She walked of kitchen with her signature Wendy Testaburger walk. Slightly wobbling every other step or so.
Bebe glanced at her husband. She had always felt so awful about doing this to him. It wasn't right. He loved her and she loved him. "Stan?"
"What?" he grunted, barely looking at his wife.
"My water just broke."
A/N: Duh duh duhhhh
