Nick sat on Karr's hood, legs crossed, blue eyes on the Saleen Mustang. A police cruiser. It was almost laughable. The Decepticon had chosen a vehicle human beings trusted in for aid and assistance, but Barricade was far from helpful. Nick understood that this disguise gave the mechanoid unlimited access to all kinds of areas, that with flashing lights and a siren he could use any road he liked, at any speed. Whether he had chosen it consciously or just taken the next best form he had deigned useful, Nick had no idea.
According to the Autobots, especially Ironhide, Barricade was good at subterfuge, hiding, manipulation and terrorizing his victims, so it looked like the police disguise had been a conscious choice. How long he had been on Earth was anybody's guess, but probably more than a year before the Autobots had arrived.
What hadn't been conscious was his attachment to a human mind.
Barricade had fallen quiet again in the last hours, his energon pulses so low, Ratchet feared he was slipping again. Ironhide didn't mind at all, but the medic was worried. As much as this was the enemy, he wouldn't kill him in cold blood. Lennox's men were still around, as was Ironhide, but they weren't hovering. Inside the well-secured cubicle, Nick and Karr were alone with the enemy robot.
//Keep an eye on me, will ya?" Nick requested as he breathed slowly, going through relaxation exercises.
//Always//
Karr was like a fiercely protective guardian, looming over him, his presence sharp and ready to strike should Barricade try something. The severed tendril had yet to be reattached and Barricade was fairly quiet in his deep background presence.
Nick slowly fell into his mind, something he had done so often, it came naturally. He slid along the new Cybertronian network, which was still so very new to him, and confronted the new addition to his mind. His security blanket was Karr and he hoped that if Barricade decided to attack him, Karr would be a match.
His partner sent a wave of confidence and reassurance. Then Nick slid into the deeper recesses and toward the only point of contact between him and Barricade.
Barricade's mind screamed at him, telling him how much he hated fleshlings, how filthy and despicable they were. How his kind was far superior. And another hovered over the connection, projected the need to be with someone again, to feel an echo in the emptiness of his mind. He needed this, he craved it, and he was hopelessly addicted. He knew he would kill to keep this one safe, both of them. He knew he would hunt whoever hurt them. He would die to protect this human.
Revulsion mixed with desire and he cried in confusion and need. Contradicting impulses raced through him. Old programming collided with knew input and set off chain reactions.
Hate. Hate humans. Despise humans. Weak little insects. No comparison. Primitive… Destroy them!
No, no, no! Part of me. Need. Want. Need! Not alone. Never alone.
Hate, hate, hate!
Barricade whimpered and his mind surrendered to the need, awash with shame and embarrassment, memories of his glorious past wiped away. The great hunter, the killer, the feared warrior, now submitting to the need for a human mind.
::What do you want?:: the human asked.
Barricade's systems almost stopped with nausea at the close presence of this alien mind. He hadn't even noticed his approach. The Decepticon stared at the cold blue light, revolted. He still needed the one who now regarded him with just as much disdain and wariness.
Need. Need you. Need the noise he projected before he could stop and think.
Bafflement greeted him.
Death. Ripped apart. Circuits empty. Frenzy. Gone. Need.
::I'm your partner's replacement?::
Yes
::I am what you hate::
Yes
Barricade groaned at his ready answer, but he couldn't hide himself. He took pride in his past, in what he was, what he could do. He was aware of the dark shadow behind the human's presence, sharp and angry and ready to strike. He had taken what belonged to another, what was joined intimately. It was the Decepticon way. Take what he needed, no matter the consequences to others, always come out on top, always survive. Trust no one, not even a lower unit dependent on you. Everyone was ready to usurp your place if you showed weakness. Sacrifice what was necessary, but never himself.
Still, he would never have this, but he wanted at least a little.
::You want to control the weaker, dominate others:: Nick said matter-of-factly. ::You destroy what you cannot control. You kill those who oppose you::
Barricade was torn. Need, he projected.
The begging made him shiver in disgust. Decepticons didn't beg. But he did.
::You cannot stay in a powered own, catatonic state. You also cannot return to what you were::
I'm no Autobot! Barricade snarled.
Autobots ranked alongside humans in matters of despicableness and lower life forms. Compassionate and good and so magnanimous and… Barricade spat. Once they had been one race, but the factions were too different now. The war had torn a whole world apart, left it dead and derelict, but they would forever fight. The symbols on their bodies drove them apart, never to cooperate unless it was for the Decepticon cause.
::Neither am I. And I cannot release you:: the human told him levelly.
Barricade twitched a little, indecisive. He could forever remain chained down, fully online, feel the human and maybe never see him again until he went mad. Or… what? The Autobots would never trust him. They would rather shoot him and be done with him. Barricade also wouldn't give up his weapons voluntarily or without a fight. It would be like suicide.
Nick pulled back and Barricade keened softly, trying not to follow. He wasn't dependent! He was no one's pet or slave!
Need for survival, in whatever form, coursed through him. Do whatever it takes to survive, something whispered. Even beg. Even… even enslave himself to the human mind… He howled in anger at himself, at his treacherous mind, at Frenzy for his manipulation of the interface circuits. And at those who had constructed him this way.
MacKenzie stopped. He gazed at Barricade, no emotions coming through, then slid smoothly back into his own mind, fiercely protected by Karr.
Barricade curled up close to the interface link, lost in his own darkness.
+++++
"We can't release him, Nick," Optimus said firmly. "He will kill again. He can't change who he is."
"Like a pit-bull on a leash," Lennox muttered. He looked as enthusiastic about Barricade's presence here as Ironhide did.
Nick sighed and pinched his nose. "I know, I know. I can feel what's connected to me and it's no fun. Karr was better in his early years than that guy is now. But there's also the fact that these mimicry circuits Ratchet mentioned are overtaxed already. He's pushing everything he is into the interface unit, trying to find what he has lost. What he encounters is me. He's desperate and he's confused."
"He's a Decepticon. He would do everything to survive, say whatever is necessary. If he promises you anything…"
"You can't lie on that level. I went through the same twenty years ago. Karr tried to kill me back then. I know what it's like and I know Barricade can't lie."
"He is not human-built machine."
"I'm aware of that."
"You would trust a Decepticon?"
"I would trust what is essentially the very soul of a Cybertronian with the designation Barricade. I don't care about his affiliation."
"You are foolish," Bumblebee joined in. "He has killed many of our kind in cold blood, for the symbol they bear! In your terms it would have been civilians, like slaughtering your women and children! And he has injured your own."
"I know. My kind's history is full of such events, too. We had wars where the innocent suffered even more than the warriors, but a warrior is nothing but a drone dominated by a master. A warrior follows orders. Barricade wasn't born a Decepticon. Like you weren't born an Autobot." Ice blue eyes met cool blue optics. "Like I said, he can't hide anything."
"We can't release him, Nick."
MacKenzie sighed, feeling headachy. Alongside Karr he now had an alien life form bonded to him, the enemy of the very ones who had saved this planet, and Barricade was desperate for his presence.
Well, shit.
He might be called cold and unemotional, but watching Barricade die like this didn't sit well with him. For Nick, this tasted too much like his own history with Karr. Barricade was reaching out for help and Nick was the one who could provide it.
The problem was, if Barricade ever healed and recovered, he would still be the enemy.
//The war is millennia old and on-going// Karr told him with a rumble. //Changing the Foundation's image of me would have been easier than getting the Autobots to accept him//
Not that Karr wanted this acceptance. He was annoyed, sometimes possessive, sometimes jealous, and very much inclined to let Barricade rot in hell.
//I'm no Samaritan, Karr// Nick only said//but I refuse to stand back and let him perish//
//Might be better for him, and us, in the long run//
//When have I ever gone the way of the least resistance?//
That got him a dark laugh. //You really have a knack for the hopeless cases//
Nick smiled. //I do, don't I?//
+
It became something of a routine. Nick would rise early, get himself a coffee, walk into the restricted area where Barricade was imprisoned, and spend the morning perched on Karr's hood. He had never needed a lot of sleep, but it was growing less and less now. It was more like a recharge cycle, Karr had remarked. Maybe that was it. His whole body felt strange. More alive, stronger, but also like it wasn't his any more.
In a way it wasn't. The implant had spread throughout his skeleton and muscle tissue, had snaked microscopically thin, wire-like tendrils everywhere, connecting to nerves and tendons and inner organs. Ratchet was giving him daily scans, remarking on the progress, and Nick wondered if it would ever stop.
It did stop, but not before half his body was no longer his own. What that meant for his life expectancy or future was something no one had an answer to.
Barricade was hesitant to talk out loud throughout those meetings, his answers usually only audible for Nick and Karr through the connection they shared.
Karr was fiercely protective of Nick, showing his distrust and dislike of the alien robot openly. Nick didn't stop him or scold him. He knew how deadly Barricade was, but the connection wasn't even strong enough to let Barricade actively touch Nick's mind. It was more of a one-sided dependency, that of Barricade needing Nick's mental echo to remain sane.
And so much of Barricade resonated inside Nick. Despite their differences in
origin and life, they weren't so much apart. Maybe this similarity had
helped along with the connection.
Over two decades ago Nick had started a life. Alone. Always alone. There was no one but him, no one else to take
care of. Never leave a trace of your existence, he had been taught. He
hadn't existed, there had been no traceable
presence. He had had a name, but still, he hadn't lived. If he had died
back then, no one would ever have known about him. He had been a ghost, a
shadow.
Then Wilton Knight had stepped into his life, offering a way out of this cold world where he had to fend for himself, never knowing if the next day would be his last. He had grasped the straw offered to him. Still, he had been alone. He had been the only one selected, no one came too close to him, no one trusted him but the old man. What he had seen, it still eluded him today. He had been a human machine, programmed to kill, programmed to obey orders; he hadn't known what humanity meant. But in the six months he had spent at the mansion, he had learned more than in the ten years of ruthless service and training. He had been the best Nash had ever trained, but he had failed the simple test of being human. Knight had not taught, but he had still learned.
Then he had been introduced to another machine. His new partner. The experiment had failed; he had left. Alone again, but for the first time, not completely. Not long after that he had been forced to make compromises, to let someone else in, a being that was so much like him it had frightened him at the time. They had made arrangements for a co-existence at first, but the process of acclimatization had started. First there had been grudging respect, then worry when the other was in danger, and finally something akin to a partnership.
Still, he wouldn't have left any traces if he had left the world forever. He didn't exist.
Nick drew his hand over the smooth finish of the Stealth. A ripple passed through his mind and he smiled. An intimacy that had taken him beyond the realms of human thinking. It hadn't always been this way, but now it was. The past was buried, though it would always be remembered, and the future was wide open for them. He kept up the gentle massage of Karr's hood, feeling the presence in his mind grow, like rising out of a dark ocean. He embraced it, smiled as it returned the gesture, and no words were exchanged. Just images, feelings, emotional waves.
This was him. Made up out of many parts that had finally fused together, forming something new. Something that should always have been. It had been a long time in the making. It was like a twisted kind of destiny. They had been made for each other, without either knowing the other existed. Both had been programmed, both had been alone, and now they formed a unit. And so much more. Beyond words, beyond everything.
Now Barricade had intruded into this world. He was an invader, demanding help, pleading but still threatening subtly, and Karr was on the defensive. Nick didn't know what to make of the Decepticon, like he didn't know what to make of his own changes. Optimus let him continue his daily routine, but not without a healthy dose of warning and worry.
Nick understood it all. Barricade was not human. He could never apply human terminology to him. Karr had been at least thought up by a human mind.
Closing his eyes, Nick trusted in Karr's presence to keep him safe as he turned to Barricade once more, like every morning.
The reception couldn't be called enthusiastic, more like a prisoner glad to have contact with the outside world. Nick caught on to the image of the Decepticon's former partner.
::I'm not Frenzy:: he told him.
I know
::Then why me?::
It happened
Nick sighed. Always the same answer. Never more, never less. Barricade clung to him like a leech, but without actually taking anything from him.
On top of these new developments and changes they had yet to contact Michael or Kitt and tell them what happened. Karr was reluctant to even give Kitt a vague idea where they were, aside from that they were okay, and Nick didn't look forward to contact either.
Ratchet had locked down Barricade's transformation circuits and the Decepticon hadn't so much as twitched. His only fear at the moment was the loss of contact to Nick.
::You would kill my kind without hesitation::
Barricade remained silent. Nick had seen his past, like he knew Karr's. To touch the alien mind was strange and sometimes terrifying, but Barricade was weirdly docile.
::You would have killed me months ago. Without remorse::
Your kind is weak
::Yet you persist in this connection::
They were turning in circles and Nick knew it. Getting to know Barricade was an impossibility, and aside from what the Autobots had supplied him with, he knew no more.
I need you to survive
::You survived just fine after Frenzy was terminated::
There is a difference between existing and living
He laughed coldly. ::Like there is a difference between domination and a partnership::
Barricade was silent, contemplative. You propose a partnership?
::Would you accept it?::
This time there was no answer and after a while, Nick just slid a block into place. No answer was an answer, too.
