Resident Evil

CHANNEL SURFING

Rebecca's Lab/Apartment …

Rebecca sat in her lab as she fixed a recent invention she had failed at. She sighed, placing her vibrating phone on the desk.

"I can't get distracted. I have to finish this first." She ignored the incoming call as she picked up the new weapon in her arsenal. She gasped, dropping the object as she heard a bang at the door. The object smashed hard onto the table as it shot a beam that ignited her cell phone in a bright light before it turned off. She picked up her phone as she went to answer the door.

"Package delivery. Please sign here." The UPS man held out the forms in front of her. She sighed as she signed and took the package inside, placing it on the table. She looked at her phone, pressing the on button with no effect.

"Damn…" She sighed as she walked into the living room. She went to the kitchen, planning to make herself a snack before she continued her work. She stopped as she turned, looking at the static filled television that had turned itself on. She cautiously walked up to it, turning it off as she turned back to the kitchen. The television turned itself on once more.

"I don't need this right now." She sighed as she looked in the back of the television, playing around with the wires as she inspected it. Her head drew out as she looked at the fuzzy screen.

"Nothings loose, nothing pulled out. Every wire is in its designed place. I don't see wha-" Before she could finish, a sharp screeching came from the screen. She closed her eyes and covered her ears. The screeching soon passed. Rebecca opened her eyes, dazzled and confused about her surroundings.

Her jaw dropped as a man walked in though the door. She felt her knees shaking as she grew into a large smile.

"It… It.. It's Einstein!" She moved aside as he made his way to his desk. She looked at him in fascination.

"Who's the messy haired freak?" She smacked the person behind her.

"That's Einstein! The most amazingly brilliant man who ever walked the earth." She turned as she saw Barry standing behind her.

"Barry! What are you doing in my fantasy?" He tilted his head.

"I don't know about the fantasy part. All I know is that I heard my cell ringing but when I answered it I somehow got sucked into the television." She thought about this before swallowing her fear.

"I think… that was my fault. The ray that hit my cell must have dialled my contacts and sent the wave though their cells which reacted to their television sets, turning them into electronic waves which sent their consciousness into the programs they were previously watching. I wonder who else got the call.

Channel 52 …

"I told you this was a crappy movie." Chris sighed as they watched the three panicked teens running wildly through the woods.

"I thought that with a titled like The Blaire Witch Project there would at least be some brutal murdering." Chris looked over to his girlfriend.

"So do you know how we got sucked into this place?" Jill shook her head.

"For some unknown reason I feel like I should blame Rebecca." Chris walked through the woods, trying to find some kind of way out. The girl ran towards them, screaming like an idiot. Chris, with a tightly made fist, flew at her as she fell to the ground.

"So it looks like we can interact with these people." Jill rolled her eyes as she walked past him.

Channel 44 …

Claire looked up at the man, her arms wrapped tightly around his leg as he dragged her around the airport.

"What the hell do you want woman!" Claire drooled as she looked up at Bruce Willis, her arms wrapped tighter around his leg.

"You're my hero! I love you! Have my babies!" He waved his foot rapidly in the air as her grip loosened.

"I have an airport to save!" Claire flew off his leg and landed on her butt. She leaned up as she watched him walk away.

"Yippee Ki-Yay Mother F-"

"Shut up!" He yelled back as he walked away. Claire collapsed on the ground, her heart beating fast as she sighed with a smile stretched across her face.

"Who was that? He looked like a total looser compared to a man like me." Claire glared at Steve who was leaning against a structured pole.

"Just when I thought my day couldn't get any better, you showed up and ruined it all." He huffed as he went over and helped her up.

"So why are we in an airport?"

"I know why I'm here. To meet the man of my dreams, which I did." Steve grinned as he flicked his hair back.

"Oh really?"

"Not you, you dim wit." She looked around as she sighed.

"Alright Steve, lets try and find a way out of my dream world so that you can go home and we never have to speak again." He ignored her comment as he fallowed behind.

Channel 25 …

Leon looked around as he stood in place. He watched as twelve-year-old kids jumped from building to building above him.

"Where the hell am I and who gave these kids firearms?" He pulled out his gun, aiming at a yellow haired child wearing an orange jumpsuit. The child fell to the ground as his weapons fell beside him, holding the bullet wound.

"What the hell?" A white haired man with a mask said behind him.

"What? He was resisting arrest… plus he pissed the hell out of me. Believe this you freak." He pointed the gun as he shot the child in the leg as a pink haired girl landed beside him.

"Oh Naruto! How will I ever go on? Now that you're dying I finally realize all my feelings for you. I don't know how I'll ever be able to concentrate once your gone. Oh me! Oh, oh, oh-" Her paragraph came to an end as Leon pulled the trigger. He turned to the man behind him.

"Alright, I'll reword you on that one." Leon looked around as he saw the biggest group of freaks he had ever seen in his life.

"This is worse then that time I accidentally walked into the transvestite bar." The man slowly walked back. Leon looked over at a noodle stand which was filled with screams.

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Claire Redfield, betch!" Leon lightly smiled as he walked up to the stand, seeing Claire walk out from behind the counter.

"Long time." Claire looked as she ran over to him.

"Leon! What's going on?" He shook his head.

"I don't know. I was flipping through the channels and randomly ended up here. To be honest I can't wait to leave." He looked behind her shoulder as Steve stood behind Claire.

"Claire darling, who's this?"

"This is Leon S. Kennedy. He's a police officer working for my brother. And don't ever call me darling again." She turned to Leon. "Oh, and this is Steve… something." She said without much enthusiasm.

"So how did you guys end up here?" Leon asked, trying to change the subject.

"We were walking through the airport and went through a door which brought us here somehow." Leon looked around, his eyes stopping in distance. He pointed to the sky.

"Do you see that?" Claire looked closely.

"It looks like static."

"That'll probably be our way out." Claire walked beside Leon as Steve fallowed behind them, crabbing about having to travel with Leon under his breath.

Outside Claire's Apartment …

Aleixa stood in front of Claire's door with Alfred beside her. She raised her fist in anger.

"I will finally get my revenge on Claire Redfield for talking that last miniskirt at the clothing store last week! She will rule the day she ever went up against the Ashford's!" She laughed maniacally as Alfred spaced off, drooling from the thought of Alexia in a miniskirt. She face palmed before smacking him.

"R-right! I have the tools you asked for here dear sister." He pulled out a spare key that had gone missing from Claire pocket last week. He unlocked the door as she laughed louder.

They walked inside slowly as Alfred snuck around the corner. Alexia pushed him out of the way as they entered the living room.

"Claire Redfield! I am here to-" Her pointed finger fell as she looked at Claire. Her body was laying flat on the ground, drool emerged from her lips. Her body stood still.

"Do you think she's… dead?" They looked back at her before slowly walking out of the house and booting it down the street.

Channel 07 …

Chris, Jill, Barry, and Rebecca sat at a table in a diner. They chucked pieces of food at Kristen Stewart and a very pale Robert Pattinson at the table next to them.

"God, what a suck fest. I think I'd rather be in Lord Of The Rings then in Twilight." Rebecca announced as they watching what was suppose to be a serious scene. Edward walked up to them as he stood at the edge of the table.

"Your free to leave at any point of time. If you don't mind, we would like to continue this scene in piece. And I hope your sister Claire is stuck in some volcano somewhere." Chris rose form his seat as he cracked his knuckles.

"What was that glitter boy?" Edward went to talk again but was cut off by Chris' hand which smashed into his cheek, separating his head from his body. Chris turned to Bella as the others rose from their seats.

"The other thing that kills vampires are Redfield's." She smiled like a little school girl as she shot a wink at him. Her daze came to a halt as a bowl of soup smashed into her face, complements of Jill.

Channel 45 …

Claire, Leon, and Steve walk around the forest before hearing a kid scream.

"There is no way." Claire said in an angry tone as she ran to the opening in the woods. There was Sherry, laughing and screaming as she was chased around by a tentacle monster with two large arms. She looked over at them.

"Claire?" Claire walked up to her, pushing the creature onto his back.

"What the HELL is that thing?" Sherry looked at it before answering.

"That's Tangrowth, the evolved form of Tangela… It's a Pokemon Claire." Claire looked at the thing in disgust.

"That's not a Pokemon!" Sherry argued with Claire as Leon and Steve watched them from far back.

"My Pokemon could kick your ass!" Claire laughed sarcastically as she pointed to Steve.

"Steve could kick your Pokemon's ass! Get over here!" Steve gladly ran at Claire's barking command. Her jaw dropped as he shimmered in a bright light. When the light had vanished; before Claire was standing a Beedrill wearing Steve's jacket and wristbands.

"Tangrowth, attack!" Sherry squealed as its arm stretched out towards Steve.

"Stevedrilll, dodge it then kill the bastard!" Steve flew out of the way as it flew down, drilling into the tangled creature, throwing it high into the sky. Sherry screamed as Steve buzzed around here as Claire laughed.

"Come on you little brat!" She said with a smile on her face as she pulled Sherry up by the collar.

"You suck!" Sherry yelled as she kicked Claire in the knee. She dropped her as Steve flew close, stabbing Sherry in the butt.

"Will you guys all settle down?" Leon yelled out, having enough of this.

"How did you even end up here?" Claire asked as she rubbed her knee.

"My mommy forgot her cell on the living room table. When it rang I saw that it was you and decided to just ignore it but then the TV went all fuzzy. That's when I found myself in one of my daddies dirty movies that he doesn't let me watch. There were girls with skirts shorter then you Claire! I think I saw that nice officer Jill in a blue tube top and a black mini skirt in there too." Claire ignored her as she pulled her away.

They walked through what seemed like an endless forest before stopping, hearing rustling in the bushes. Steve took the front, smiling as he prepared to protect the others. Unfortunately Steve's braveness went unnoticed as Chris and the others popped out.

"Chris!" Claire ran to him as she leaped up and hugged him.

"It seems as if everyone is here. Now, it's important that we get out of here as soon as possible." Rebecca announced.

"And why's that?" Leon asked as he looked around the skies, trying to see an exit point. Everyone stared at Barry as he walked to the front.

"What happened to you?" Claire asked in shock before bursting out in laughter.

"Bay got a little too… 'involved' in Bruce Almighty and got a boob job instead of Jennifer Aniston." Jill explained as Barry looked down at the new pair of large breasts.

"Wow. You have a larger rack then anyone here." Leon said with a smile as Barry huffed.

"Joke all you want but their killing my back!" He looked over at the Steve bee.

"It look's as if he was affected as well. If we stay any longer we'll completely be sucked in by the shows." Rebecca said as Claire walked up to Steve, rubbing her finger under his chin.

"I like him a lot more like this. I can finally think." (Claire's head: I can't believe I actually met Bruce Willis! He is so sexy. I am so putting this in my journal. Bruce Redfield. Claire Willis. He-he-he.) They all stared at Claire as drool fell from her lip.

"Okay… I think we should go this way." Chris led the way as they all fallowed. Claire looked up a few miles in to their walk.

"I think were getting close. I can hear buzzing." Leon looked in back of him.

"I don't think that's what it is." Claire turned around seeing Steve hovering behind them. From his lips emerged a constant and annoying buzzing. Claire sighed as she continued to walk, only turning back five minutes later as the buzzing continued.

"My likeness for you is quickly fading." Her attention was cut short when they stopped in their tracks. They all looked below the cliff as the static covered the bottom.

"Look's like were jumping."

Channel 49 …

They all stood up, covered completely in snow. They brushed themselves off as they looked around.

"This somehow seems familiar." Jill announced as she rubbed her arms. Chris removed his jacket, placing it over Jill's shoulders.

"Leon… Long time no see." He turned swiftly, recognising the voice.

"ADA!" He said in a deep voice. The others, however, were more occupied with the creature beside her.

"It seems as if we have a problem." Ada said as she looked down.

"Chris, Jill, Barry. Long time comrades." A giant lion said as it stood beside Ada wearing a pair of dark shades.

"Captain Wesker?" Jill said in a shocking voice.

"What about me?" Rebecca whined feeling left out as Chris patted her on the head.

"Let us find a way out of here." Chris and Jill walked beside Wesker as the others fallowed behind, Leon and Ada at the very end of the line.

"How do you know Wesker?" Leon asked.

"I don't. He came in here and so we decided to find a way out of here together. I hope we get out of here soon though, I'm starving." They reached a spot in the woods until the exited through an oversized closet.

"Speaking of closets, have you thought of coming out of one Leon?" Jill asked as Claire and Chris giggled behind her. Leon looked at her with a confused expression, deciding to ignore her question instead of edging her on.

"Who are you people?" Four kids stood in the door frame as they all stared at them. Wesker walked up to them, letting out a loud roar as the children ran out screaming and crying.

"Alright, now I feel better." Wesker smirked.

"You are truly evil." Chris said as they all split up. They spent ten minutes looking for an exit before Claire and Rebecca ran to meet the others.

"We found it!" Claire said as they lead them to the place. The all crawled under the carpet feeling more awkward then ever.

Channel 5 …

They all looked around the black and white area, confused as to where they were. Claire looked down seeing a bold set of sub titles.

"Damn. I hate movies in foreign languages." They watched as the screen switched from different pictures until it stuck to one of a well. They looked a head as they saw the static. Their attention then turned to a girl climbing out of the well.

"That must be our way out. Let's hurry!" Rebecca said as they ran past the girl. Chris shoved her out of the way as Jill took the lead.

"Sorry but were in a hurry." Chris said as the girl went flying back, screaming as she fell down the well.

Rebecca's Apartment …

Leon, Claire, Steve, Jill, Chris, and Barry all stood in the living room with Rebecca as they discussed the situations.

"So my phone called Chris and Barry. Chris' phone called Claire. Claire's phone called Sherry and Steve. Barry's phone called Leon and Wesker. And Leon cell called Ada. That should show on everyone's call history. Any calls after that means that we have a serious problem." They all checked their phones once more to make sure no one was left behind.

"There's one problem with that." They all looked a Leon as he checked his call history before showing it to the others.

"I don't see anything." Jill said as she looked in closer.

"That's the problem. I never called Ada."

"Well you're the only one who has her number. If it wasn't you then who called her?" They all thought about this before deciding to go out for a pizza, leaving it a mystery. Claire placed her hand on the door of the car as she looked into the distance. She waved before getting inside. Alexia watched as Claire left, fainting as she mistook her for a ghost passing on.