CHAPTER 9
I observe her for a moment before walking toward the window. She's leaning on the stone balustrade with her hands supporting her head and her eyes gazing up at the dark sky.
I exhale and knock softly on the windowpane.
"Can I join you out there?" She gives a little jump of surprise before turning around.
"Hey, sure." She whispers back with a polite smile. I climb out the window and breathe in the cold air while I figure out how to bring up such uncomfortable topic.
"Rach…I-" I stop when a mocking smile appears on her face. "What?" she covers her mouth to suppress a laugh.
"You may want to look in a mirror…" I narrow my eyes suspiciously. I turn to the window to find my reflection.
"Mother f-" I bit my lip to shut myself. Around my eyes there are two drawn dark circles simulating glasses and a wide moustache over my upper lip. "This is great." I say sarcastically turning to face her; she takes a step back.
"In my defense, I had nothing to do with it, I swear." She says trying but failing not to laugh.
"Who was the genius who did this?" I ask through clenched teeth. She shrugs.
"I'm not a tattletale…but you were the first one to fall asleep; you should've seen it coming." I grab the edge of my t-shirt and rub it all over my face to erase the drawing. She looks at me amused "You're only making it worse." I let go of my t-shirt.
"Great, this is just great, as if I weren't anxious enough to talk to you, now I have to do it looking like this." Her smile slowly fades and uncomfortably looks inside the apartment, probably to make sure everybody's sleeping.
"I know where you are heading and honestly Ross, there's no need to discuss this…" she says in a low voice. Taking another look inside, she sits down on the floor and rests her back on the wall. "We are both adults, we know what we did and it is really not that big of a deal, is it? I say we just let it go." I sit down next to her, feeling surprised by her serenity but even more ashamed to know that she remembers and I don't.
"I completely agree with you…the thing is…and this is going to make me look like an asshole…but…I don't remember much of… what…happened… I mean I think I know but my mind is completely blank." She bits her bottom lip. "I know it's horrible…and if, in any way, I took advantage of you I- I'm really sorry. " before saying anything, she offers me part of her blanket and I gladly accept it.
"Good to know I am not the only one having memory problems." She looks straight ahead and takes a moment to continue. "but you certainly didn't take advantage of me, that much I know." she says shaking her head. "What do you remember?"
"Well…I remember being in the terrace with you, enjoying your company and then all of a sudden I was inside a car, making out with you and…possibly more than that?" I know we made love but I want to make sure it was not my mind fantasizing.
"Definitely more than that…and apparently more than once…based on the mess in my bedroom."
"Oh god…At least we…used protection, right?"
"That I'm certain of, yes."
"Thank god we had some sense."
"I know, I'm surprised though, how many bottles did we end up having, three? Four?"
"I don't know, way too many. How did we even manage to get to your apartment?"
"I have no idea… I assume we took a cab because I had to pick up my car from that place the next morning."
"That's a relief, I gotta say. By the way, I am so sorry I left without saying anything…I kind of panicked" she gives me a small sympathetic smile.
"I figured. I felt the same way when I woke up." I cannot help but smile, after all the fighting and years without speaking I find it surprising that we are talking about this with such maturity. "What?" her question makes me realize I've been staring.
"It's just, this feels weird…how we're talking about this without blaming or yelling at each other."
"We're growing up." She says softly with a bit of nostalgia in her voice. She then rests her head on my shoulder and remains in silence for a moment. Her eyes are fixed on the sky and she seems to be thinking about him.
"Have you talked to him?" I ask, not ready to let our conversation die just yet. Rachel shakes her head.
"Very briefly. He is on a plane right now. He'll be here in about three hours…"
"Are you going to give him another chance?"
"I don't know…I guess I'll decide when I see him."
"Rach…" she sits up and looks at me expectantly "I'm sorry." She arches an eyebrow.
"Sorry for what?"
"For what happened, I know we were inebriated but I shouldn't have let it happen…I hope this doesn't strain our friendship or cause you any trouble with…you know." She grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze.
"Ross, don't worry…it was just sex and we are both single after all…But I think it will be better if we forget it happened and don't mention it again…for both of our sakes. Do you think you could do that?"
"Yes, of course." She smiles at me and I cannot help but reciprocate it, then she leans in for a hug. Her familiar warmth makes me want to stay like that for the rest of the night. When we break apart a little later, she looks at my face and giggles.
"You look ridiculous."
"Oh, thank you for reminding that I have a revenge to plan."
" You kinda look like a short-sighted Charlie Chaplin." She observes.
"Ha-ha."
"Let's go inside and I'll help you take your revenge." She suggests with a wicked smile.
(…)
We tiptoe to the bathroom and laugh quietly as soon as the door is closed.
"You should see the guys' faces. They look hilarious"
"What did you do?" she whispers giggling.
"penises" Rachel rolls her eyes. "What? They would've done the same. What did you draw on the girls?"
"Beards, Of course!" we giggle some more.
"I can't wait to see their reaction!"
"Oh wait! You'll have to draw on my face too or they'll suspect I had something to do with it!"
"You're right." I take the marker and pull out the cap. "What do you want?"
"I don't know, anything."
"Okay." I gently hold her chin up with my left hand and draw a dark circle on the tip of her nose and three whiskers on both of her cheeks. "Done, you're a cute little kitten." I put the marker on the sink and meet her eyes, which, for some reason, look particularly hypnotizing. She smiles and whispers a thank you. The silence that follows makes me aware of our proximity. As much as I want to deny it, my attraction for her hasn't died down after all these years apart. It's always there and at this point I think it will always be, no matter who I am with.
"Anyway…" her voice breaks the silence "I guess we should go back to bed." Her eyes leave mine and so does the warmth she generated in me with her intense look.
"Yeah."
"I'll go out first, just in case someone woke up."
"Okay."
"Good night." She smiles once again, planting a small kiss on my cheek.
"Good night." I whisper back.
After she's gone I stay in the bathroom for a couple of minutes, thinking about today and how much I am enjoying re-discovering Rachel again.
:::::::
I get in the elevator and automatically become a puddle of nerves. Why does Marco want to talk to me privately? We've seen each other a few times in the past week since Rachel decided to go back together with him. And Rachel and I have kept our distance, just acting like a couple of regular friends -who did not hook up days before-…so there's no reason for him to suspect anything, right?. Maybe I'm just paranoid and the reason he wants to talk to me is very different. Maybe it has to do with Monica's wedding! Since the other day he asked me for advice on what to give them as a wedding gift…
Trembling, I ring the bell and the door opens before I can take a soothing breath.
"Hi Ross, please come in."
Merry Christmas my dear readers! I hope you enjoyed my little present and I accept feedback as a gift ;)
