Hey guys! Please accept my apology, I am super sorry it took me so long to update! I kind of half finished this chapter like two weeks ago but never really got around to finishing it until today so thank you everyone for your patience with this story, this irather longest chapter so far so I hope you enjoy it! You are all great, everyone go treat yourself to a cookie because you are all fab! :D
A little bit of admin first:
FanficMobileRead: no I have not read 'my lovely guardian' I will have to get on that, but thank you for your review none the less! :D
Avalongirl55: My parents are Irish so I could not help but experiment with the leprechaun's character, I wanted to see him much like Cue, breaking out of the stereotype. I am glad you enjoy the story!
x0Genevieve0x: yes I know I am not the best at summaries, but thank you for getting past that and actually giving my story a chance! I will try to rework the summary to make it a little less shit :p Virtual hug to you!
MissCazBroonAccioCreation: you are great, thank you Oslo much for your review! Also a virtual hug for you!
Black-Death-646: thank you so much, I always love youreviewers, they make me smile so much and keep up my motivation to continue my chapters!
Chapter 9: "And I thought they didn't do me justice!"
"So what you are telling me is, you are a leprechaun? Like a real life, legit, not pulling my leg right now, 100% leprechaun?" I asked, my eyebrow raised and my facial expression one of complete and blatant shock and disbelief.
The boy, ' Báine' apparently, opened his mouth to speak, but was suddenly pulled into a gigantic bear hug by North who had surprised everyone apparently at his speed and athleticism of getting our of his chair and making his way to greet the newcomer. The two exchanged friendly greetings, Báine making some joking comment about North having lost weight since their last meeting, causing the jolly man to boom with laughter before engulfing the boy less than three times his size into another bone crushing embrace.
Once the initial greeting was out of the way, North made way to return to his seat, dragging an empty chair on his way and placing it next to his for Báine to join him. I watched as everyone's eyes never left the newcomer and I scoffed silently 'it was like the prodigal son returning', I thought. The way everyone looked at Báine, with such pride and happiness in their faces as he made his way around the table, greeting each individual as he did so, I couldn't help but wonder what he had possibly done to earn such a reputation. Everyone around the table, even April and Eve included was gazing upon the boy like a close and long lost friend that had finally returned home.
Well, almost everyone. From the expression on Jack's face I couldn't work out if the two boys had never met each other, or if their history together was not a pleasant one.
Once Báine and Bunny had done that weird 'man to man' hug thing that boys do that I have never understood, you know, the one where they don't really actually properly hug one another but rather swing their arms around each other and hit each other on the backs, Báine proceeded to kiss Tooth on both cheeks, ruffle Eve's hair, graze the back of April's hand with his lips and shake Sandy's hand, all the while exchanging casual small talk and laughter with each person he met.
And then he got to me.
I gazed up at him expectantly, waiting for him to speak as he towered above my chair, leaning slightly against the back of it absentmindedly. Whatever Báine had gone to get into everyone's good graces, he had done toning to get into mine. A fact I was not going to forget any time soon. If he wanted me to treat him with the same respect and enthusiasm as everyone else here did, he was just going to have to bloody earn it.
"I'm Báine" he said warmly, extending his hand out to shake mine. "The 'Like real life, legit, not pulling your leg right now, 100% leprechaun', and it is a pleasure to meet you." He flashed a bright genuine smile at me, and I couldn't help the corner of my mouth twitch upwards slightly at the fact he used my same words from earlier, finally answering my question. I glanced from his eyes to his outstretched hand and then back again, making no real effort to shake it in response, expecting him to take the hint qnd drop his arm.
"I'm sorry, I didn't seem to catch your name?" He asked gently.
"That's because I didn't give it." I replied smoothly, feigning boredom.
He laughed before persisting "Well I do believe that it is customary in conversation that when a person tells you their name, they usually expect the favour to be returned." Báine said lightly, his Irish accent light and playful, but his hand remained outstretched none the less. He was persistent, I'd give him that.
I rolled my eyes before glanced between his eyes and his hands yet again. Thats when I heard North clear his throat and give me a look that can only be described as 'manors' before he said gruffly "Play nice Cue." A warning quality in his tone. I expect he didn't want a repeat of the little fiasco with April earlier...
"Ahh, so she does have a name." Báine laughed triumphantly and reluctant I took his outstretched hand in my own and gave it a half hearted shake. As I went to pull my hand away, his grip on my fingers tittered, bringing my hand up and lightly placing a soft kiss to the back of my knuckles. Once again I rolled my eyes at the gesture, trying to fight the urge my cheeks found to turn a shade of pink.
"I must say Cue, your stories don't do you justice." He murmured against the skin on the back of my hand, winking at me as he did so.
"And apparently neither do yours." Jack said beside me, standing up from his chair and thrusting out his one hand for Báine to shake. I couldn't tell if Jack was happy or not about the newcomer's presence, his face displaying signs of tolerance at best, but a smile quickly overtook his features. The fact that it looked to be the most forced smile in the world is another story...
Reluctantly Báine released my own hand and turned to Jack, shaking his hand with strength and enthusiasm. "Point taken, Jack Frost I take it?"
"Jeez, I wonder what gave it away?" I mumbled under my breath, and I could have sworn Jacks lips twitched upwards slightly.
"So you have heard of me." Jack replied, recovering his straight faced compositor, the two boys retracting their hands as Báine made his way to sit in the chair North had pulled out for him... Which was subsequently on the corner of the table in between a north and Jack.
"We'll, how could I not?" Báine laughed. "North has told me all about your last run in with Pitch, how you swooped in and said the day. That battle is now legendary in our world!" Jacks eyes seemed to light up with pride at that mention, but his expression towards Báine was one that never faltered." It's why I am here currently as it were, to share the information I have gathered and make it so this fiend does not succeed in rising to power again."
"Yes, yes!" Norths booming voice interjected, making me jump slightly at its volume and enthusiasm. "Tell us what you know my boy!" He said, clapping Báine on the back with a reassuring pat. Well, to a normal person it would have been a reassuring pat, but with North's size and strength I was at that moment 200% surprised he didn't just snap Báine's spine...
Silence filled the room for a few moments, everyone in complete anticipation for what Báine was about to say.
"He came to me." He spoke slowly, deliberately, causing muffled chattering and murmuring to fill the room as everyone tried to process what he said.
"What do you mean he came to you?" North asked, his voice rough and sounded slightly worried.
"He used dream sand to manipulate my mind, he appeared to me while I was asleep but do not mistake me, the dream was to of my doing."
My heart froze.
So it wasn't just me?
I tried to make my expression one of genuine surprise rather than the pale, shock filled, heart stopping feeling I was feeling on the inside. What had Pitch told Báine? Had he contacted everyone?
My silent question was soon answered when Báine spoke again. "I take it none of you have experienced something like this?" Everyone shook their heads, and in that moment, I found myself shaking mine also.
"What did he want mate? When he came to you, what did he want?" Bunny asked gruffly, confusion evident in the way his paws re balled into fists and his eyebrows were knotted together.
"He is weak. Vulnerable. And I would advice that if drastic action was to be taken, now old be the time to do so. He may be increasing gradually in power, the Globe is evident of that, but right now he is running on his last reserves." He took a breath before he continued. "He asked me to join him."
I tried not to show the fact that my eyes widened in recollection that remark, the memories Pitch standing before me the night before squirming back into my mind. He was recruiting us? I sank low in my chair, trying to deflect as much attention from me as possible.
"His own power at the moment is not great enough on its own, he is recruiting and it would not surprise me if before long he attempts to turn us all against each other."
"That will not happen!" North boomed cheerfully, banging his fist down on the wooden table as if to emphasise his point. We all knew he was right of course, no one here would willingly leave and join Pitch Black.
...would they?
"As for how he is making children forget about us entirely, I know not, and I am sorry that I have no more useful information to give." Báine looked down at his hands in his lap, as if genuinely disappointed that he could not be more assistance. North merely placed a hand on his shoulder "what you use already told us is help enough" he said, smiling reassuringly. "Now, Bunny, if I could have a word please? There is much to discuss..."
The so called 'meeting' broke off shortly after that, North and Bunny retreating to North's office to continue their discussion on the Pitch subject. I figured that Eve and April left to go to their rooms, probably to catch up n all that 'beauty sleep' April was always raving on about. Tooth and Sandy left to for fill their jobs as Guardians, it was nearly dusk surprisingly and although some children had forgotten all about then, they refused to let that stop them from bringing joy and happiness to the children of the world.
Báine walked over to where I was sitting on one of the wooden window seats, gazing out at the snow and slowly darkening sky. He sat down opposite me, greeting me with a warm smile before speaking. "People suck don't they?"
I glanced up at him, watching curiously as he laughed and scooted closer. "I mean come on. Who decided that the spirit of luck should be a little old man at the end of a rainbow, or that Cupid should be a flying baby? I sounds ridiculous doesn't it!"
I couldn't help but laugh in return. It was nice actually, to have someone for once who knew what it was like to live with so many stereotypes and misconceptions about you. "At least they got your gender right" I joked.
"Oh yes, because being made out to be a little old man with a beard is so much better." He said sarcastically.
"We'll in their defence, you do kind of have a beard. And you are not the tallest of spirits, Bunny is like a full head taller than you." I smirked, pointing to the light stubble that sprinkled his chin.
Sighing in defeat he chuckled lightly "Point taken. Although Bunnymund is a magical talking rabbit and the guardian of Easter, so I hardly think his hight really counts in the scheme of things." He chuckled again, our eyes meeting for the briefest of moments before I glanced out the window again.
"Point taken." I said, earning a sly smirk from Báine at the fact I used the same words as he did, returning the favour from our conversation earlier.
"You know, some people think that when they see me, I have to grant them wishes."
"Seriously? I thought that was like a genie or something?"
"I know right, like I said before, people suck."
"Please" I said, rolling my eyes as my voice increased in volume "At least people don't think you fly around naked." I scoffed, Báine simple raised an eyebrow then proceeded to laugh his head off when he saw that I was serious.
"Ouch."
I couldn't help but laugh as well, this conversation was ridiculous. People were ridiculous. Our stories were ridiculous! But for some reason people believed them . I glanced back over at Báine and I couldn't help but feel happy in that moment. I had been a long time since I had had a conversation with someone that was this... this easy, this simple. And although I don't trust Báine with my life or anything drastic like that yet, I did have a good first impression of him. Lets just say that I didn't hate his guts on first glance, which was kind of a big deal for me, and so maybe, just maybe, I could see the two of us becoming alleys. Friends even.
Ok, let's not push it Cue. You've only just met the guy for Mims sakes!
How come I have never seen you around before?" Báine asked.
"We'll, I have never really been one to 'hang out' this this crowd" I answered, using my thumb to deftly point behind me at the large wooden table we were all previously seated at. "I kind of just keep to myself and all that jazz."
Báine nodded thoughtfully, "A private life? I can respect that. All of this 'spirit' business can get a bit overwhelming at times I guess."
"Yep" I said slowly, popping the 'p' of the word.
"Listen, can I ask you something Cue?" I turned to look at him in the eyes, my expression unsure and curious at the same time.
"...sure." I answered tentatively, not sure if I was liking where this conversation was heading.
But before He could ask, a small Elf gently pulled on material of his trousers, handing him as slip of paper as he did so. "I'm sorry, I have to go, North has requested my presence on his workroom." He smiled apologetically at me but I waved my have to shake it off. "Don't worry about it" I said, offering a small smile in return.
"It was very nice to finally meet you Cue, I'm glad the stories were wrong. About both of us." I nodded curtly "You too Báine" I said softly and watched as he turned and followed the Elf out of the Globe room.
Sighing, I turned my attention back to the window.
"We'll, I thought he'd never leave" a cheery sounding voice from behind me began. "I thought I was going to have to do a whole lot more than bribe and Elf to get him out of here!"
I turned and looked Jack in the eyes, an eyebrow raised as if to say 'seriously?'. Me merely shrugged white smirking, then grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me to a standing position.
"Hey, what the, Jack what are you doing!" I posted, trying to shake him off. He let me go once I was on my feel, a triumphant and cocky smirk plastered on his face.
"Come on" he said simply, opening the window. "Jack? What are you doing?" I asked studying the ay he pocked the locks open on the giant windows, then threw it open.
"Well, I for one have been going stir crazy in this workshop all day, and from the way you were sitting the gazing longingly out of the window, I take it you were as well, so. Come. On." He punctuated the last words purposely, his signature grin never laving his face.
"We are going to go for a fly?" I asked excitedly, my eyes lighting up at the prospect of stretching my wings out in the freedom of the nights sky. Of course I have been going stir crazy, but I honestly didn't expect Jack to offer this to me. "Wait. You are letting me outside?" I asked.
Jack rolled his eyes and leaned casually against his staff. "Well you are not a prisoner Cue, plus you promised me you would stay for a week, and I make it you still have six days left until our deal is done." He winked at me before pulling a strange object out of his pocket. "Of course, if you do try to make a break for it, I'm sure I wouldn't object to the excuse of using these again."
Refusing to give him the satisfaction of blushing or taking the bait at his comment, and the way he twirled his fingers around the handcuffs, I strode passed him and leaped out of the window.
"You coming Jackass?" I shouted into the wind.
...
We landed about twenty minutes later on a branch of an old knurled looking tree that had long since seen any leaves. Both of us needed to catch our breaths. God it felt so good to be back in the air again!
The wood we sat on was cracked and weathered, but the trunk and the branches were thick and strong, more than capable of providing a safe seating area for Jack and I. Jack sat closest to the trunk, leaning up against the bark and leisurely stretched his legs out towards my own which dangling over the side of the branch, my elbows on my knees.
We simply sat for for a few minutes before either of us spoke, both of us silently content with simply gazing out at the lake below us and the multitude of stars that glistened overhead.
And so we simply sat.
I looked out over the treetops, my gaze captivated by the view. As far as the eye could see was a beautiful frozen forest, pine trees sprinkled with snow scattered out on all directions.
It was beautiful really, in that frozen simplistic kind of way. The way that everything around us was so clean, so white, so pure as snow... yet there way no life around for miles.
It always amazed me how a place so stunning could be as deadly as it was beautiful.
The landscape was stunning and so innocent looking, yet so harsh at the same time...
I glanced over at Jack, his head resting back against the trunk and his eyes closed. I took the moment to inspect his face more thoroughly. It was true what they said, Jack was attractive, there was no denying that. Not that I would ever tell him to his face or anything, his ego was in no need of refuelling. In fact I am certain that you could pump up car tires with the excess hot air inside his head, but there was no denying that he was good looking. His face looked younger when his eyes were closed, his features relaxed looking and unburdened, his forehead void of frowns and his jaw relaxed as he leaned least rly against the tree trunk. If I didn't know any better I would have sworn he was sleeping, but the smirk that appeared on his lips told me otherwise.
"Stop staring at me." Jack mused, his eyes still closed.
"I wasn't staring at yo-"
"Yes you were." He interjected, his tone light and playful. "But hey, you're only human, i guess you cant help it if you like what you see." He crossed his arms over his chest with a slight shrug for good measure, his staff lying casually alongside his hip.
I scoffed at him, trying to hide the genuine smile on my face. I didn't need another thing he could tease me about with his apparent psychic ability.
"Beautiful." I breathed, turning my gaze back to the landscape in front of me, not daring to speak above a whisper as if my voice itself would somehow break the serenity and peace around us.
"I know I am." Jack mused again, but this time he opened his eyes, light with mischief and gazed out at the horizon, meeting my line of sight. Far away a bird of prey circled overhead, before descending into the treetops, hidden once again, it's beautiful and lonely song the only reminder that it was there at all.
"I meant the view Jackass" I mumbled, Jack only smirked slightly in response, apparently not satisfied with my answer.
Trying to follow where the bird flew, my eyes glanced down searching the tree tops before they rested on the clearing below us, the icy pond below strikingly familiar.
"What was it like?" I asked, the words leaving my mouth before I even had a chance to process what I was saying.
"Hmmm?" Jack responded, his eyes closed once again, as if he was trying to drift off to sleep in the stillness of the moment.
I waved my hand at him, "nothing, doesn't matter." I mumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed about my question. Jack merely smiled, his eyes opening and meeting mine yet again. "What was what like?" He pressed, his smile warm and reassuring.
I tilted my head towards the pond below, my eyes refusing to meet his as I spoke. "You know... Dying I guess. Drowning. Becoming... Well, Jack Freaking Frost!" I scoffed, but the curiosity behind my words couldn't be missed.
Jack looked like he was deep in thought for a moment, before he mimicked my position on the tree branch, scooting closer to me and swinging his legs over the branch, letting them dangle towards the ground.
"We'll, I guess it was allot like how you died. How anyone dies really." He shrugged nonchalantly. "Except colder" he smirked, but frowned when he took in my serious expression. He sighed deeply before he continued.
"To be honest, I only remember fragments. First there was the cold, then the dark, and then... well, by then I didn't remember anything. Not who I was, who I had been, who my family was, anything... Tooth said that we all lose our memories at some stage, whether it be from age, trauma, who knows, but they can never be truly lost, more like misplaced for the time being..." He glanced down at his hands in his lap, content on fighting with this thumbs while he spoke.
"For all those years I believed that I would never know who I was, what I was meant to do. I thought that I would be alone. Forever. With no real understanding of anything..." His voice seemed to trail off for a moment, as if he was reliving the painful memories inside his mind.
"But you did get your memories back." I whispered, trying to jog him out of his trance. A small smile crept into the corner of his mouth, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Aye, I just needed reminding they were still there. Reminding of who I was, who my family was..."
His voice trailed off, a frown knitting his eyebrows together as he gazed up at the twinkling lights overhead, his thoughts drifting with them.
I glanced at him out of the corner of my eyes, trying to subtly understand what was going through his mind.
"I never knew you had a family..." I said, then instantly felt stupid. Of course he had a family, he wasn't always Jack Frost, his human self, his ALIVE self, must of had all the pleasantries of any other human.
A confused smile crossed my lips. It was funny how your forgot about the guardians being human at one stage, not just Jack.
...well except Bunny that is, I guess he has always been a bunny, but the rest, at some point, were just-
Normal.
Normal?
No powers, no gifts, no joy and wonder and dreams and fun...
No Guardians.
"Yeh, everyone has a family." He replied, continuing to inspect the bright stars above him.
I looked down at my hands. "...not everyone" I whispered under my breath, more to myself than to Jack. But by the way his head turned towards me, and the way his eyes tried to hold my gaze, I guess he had heard me...
I tried to change the subject.
"What were they like?" I asked, intrigued.
Jacks eyes lingered on mine for a few more moments than really necessary, his expression unreadable before he let out a silent laugh, his eyes gazing out towards the horizon once more. "I had a mother, a sister and a father. Much like any other family really..." Jack stated, a small ounce of pride in his voice.
"My mother was wonderful, as was my sister, as kindhearted and as trusting as anyone I had ever met. God knows how they put up with me..." Jack chuckled, before his mood took a somber note. "My father died before I reached my tenth year, just after my sister was born..."
Jacks voice cracked suddenly, and before I could even register what was happening, my hand shot out and grasped his own on his lap, squeezing slightly in a silent reassurance.
"It's ok Jack, we can put the past away if you want..." I suggested, not wanting his memories to hurt him further. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"
"No it's ok." Jack reassured, squeezing my hand back just a little bit, attempting a smile. "I think I want you to know." He smiled softly, intertwining our fingers on our clasped hands.
"My father would tell my mother that without her his life would have no meaning, that he would never let her go, never let any of us go..." he cleared his throat, his voice cracking slightly once more. I tried my best at an encouraging smile, lightly squeezing his hand with my own.
" Like I said, my father died, and so with him went the provider of our family. It was poor times and my mother tried the best she could with what little we had to make my sisters life and mine the best it could be. She became both parents. She carried on just for us and although i knew that she was heart broken inside, she would never let us see it. She was always strong for us. She was strong because of us. God, she was amazing.
And then there was my sister..." Jack smiled slightly, but it didn't reach his eyes. "As trusting and as kind as the best person you would ever wish to meet. Cutting a long story short... she is the reason that I'm a guardian. She's the reason that I'm, well 'alive' right now,as a spirit anyway... We were playing out on the pond. It was dangerous and stupid...but I just couldn't help myself."
Jacks eyes widened slightly at the memory, his hands clenched slightly and his breathing became increasingly more rapid. This was upsetting him, but for some reason, he wanted to tell me, he wanted to trust me with the biggest and most important secret he had.
To be honest I felt too honoured and humbled by such a thing that I didn't even think to ask why. No one had ever trusted me as much a I felt trusted in this one moment.
"...and then when the ice began to crack" Jack continued, his voice raw and raspy. "I could only think of her, of the danger I had put her in, and how I would never forgive myself if anything happened to her because of me. So I pushed her, and I... Well, I...fell..." He trailed off and silence took over for a few minutes. The only sound was the whistling of the wind through the trees and Jacks rabid breaths returning t o normal.
"... You saved her life." I whispered. It was more of a statement rather than a question. Jack simply nodded once. "It was my fault." He whispered, his voice so low that I badly even heard it.
Jack turned slowly, looking me dead in the eyes, holding my gaze with his big blue ones. "I may have been able to let her live... But she lived to grow up in a world where I had killed her brother. No child should have to go through that. So really which is worse Cue? She may have been the one to leave breathing that day, but from every day since her breaths were burdened with the thoughts that I died trying to save her. That I died because of her..."
I sat there for what felt like hours, simply staring back at him. I honestly didn't know what to say. I had never been overly good with situations such as these, situations that involve consoling another person. I always felt awkward and powerless to help them, and here I was again, equally speechless, and utterly confused with what words would help Jack to understand.
Jack was hurting, and I didn't know how to fix it.
And so I did what I do when I am physically hurt.
I metaphorically punched the other arm.
You know like what you do if you hurt one arm, you punch the other so that the wounds balance out, so that your attention is taken away from the old arm pain and focuses on the lesser new one, until eventually you feel no pain in both of them at all. Or is that just me?
And so I tried to divert Jack's pain, to focus on something else until old pain had subsided.
"I never had any parents." I began, subconsciously tightening my grip around his hand, as if this simple gesture would give me enough strength to tell the tale I had not spoken aloud to anyone in over three hundred years.
"We'll, I mean, I must of had some at some stage, considering the fact I was born in the first place, but ever since I can remember, it's been just me.
I remember being eight years old, I was living on the streets of London at the time. I guess that's why I live there now to be honest, that although allot of crap happened there, it's still the one place I know the best, it's still the one place I have known the longest." I sighed, remembering al too well the small, scraggly eight year old child, abandoned at birth, wandering the streets for food and answers.
Jack gave me a small sympathetic smile, his shoulder pressed up against mine, his cool skin seeping into mine through our shirts.
"I'll save you the sob story of poor little orphaned me for a more cheery day, preferably one with more alcohol" I teased, doing what I do best. Deflecting situations I don't like with my sarcasm.
I made way to stand up, but Jack tugged me back down, our hands never heaving each others. His eyes bore into mine and I had only just noticed how close our bodies were, mere inches from being nose to nose.
When he spoke, his voice was low and quick, as if he were telling me a secret, or expecting me to return the favour.
"Why do you fear it so much?" His face was dead serious, but his eyes looked caring and soft, his voice curious and sympathetic.
I didn't like where this conversation was going. "I'm not afraid of anything. I fear nothing." I said, detaching my gaze from his, trying to put my defences back up.
"Everyone fears something Cue."
"We'll I guess I'm not everyone then" I replied stubbornly, my jaw tightening slightly, my eyes still refusing to meet his.
"I know what scares you the most." He said, his voice still sympathetic, but this time a hint of cockiness could be heard, as of he was proud of himself for being able to read me like a book.
Jackass.
"Then pray tell, Jack, since you so obviously know me so much better than I know myself, what is it I fear most of all?" I challenged, my eyes narrowing at him slightly.
"Not belonging" he deadpanned.
My eyes widened slightly at his bluntness, before my face fell a little. Jack didn't fail to notice. Whatever chord he had struck, he knew he had hit some sort of nail on the head.
I took a deep breath.
"Actually Jack, it isnt not belonging that scares me..."
Here it was.
I could feel the words forming in my throat, the truth threatening to seep out, to break through all the defences I had taken years trying to build until they were impenetrable. And here I was, in a fucking TREE, in the dead of night with Jack Frost, with my secrets and my past on the verge of exploding.
A small part of me still argued that it was a bad idea, a very bad idea to open up to something, after everything that's happened in my life before. But then a larger part of me was just saying 'sod it and tell him',
... And so I did.
"Its not the fact that i wont ever belong...It's the fact that there is a possibility that, even for a second, even for one fleeting moment one day. I might.
I might be part of something that changes everything, part of something that actually gives me a reason to get up in the morning. Part of something that makes me smile from simply thinking about it, or laugh for no apparent reason. Part of something that makes me feel...feel..." I struggled for a word.
"Needed." Jack whispered.
"Wanted." I agreed.
"...And so, if that something ever gets taken away..." I swallowed then amended my statement. "When that something gets taken away..." I corrected. "How do you ever convince yourself that it will all be fine. How do you ever convince yourself to go back to how things were before..."
I could feel tears threatening to spill, but I fought them down. When I spoke next, my voice did not sound like my own. It sounded so much smaller, so much more fragile.
"... I think I'd rather live without imagining what that's like, instead of remembering the feeling, knowing I can never have it again...
Maybe that's selfish, maybe that's cowardly, or brave or smart, who knows? But if there's one thing I do, it's being alone. In the only state where everything hurts, but no one can ever harm you..."
I expected Jack to make some witty retort, to try and brighten up the mood of the conversation and make some teasing remark or some sarcastic joke that would shatter the awkward silence I was regretting that would surely come.
But he didn't.
It surprised me actually, the way Jack held my gaze with his own. The way he untangled the fingers of his left hand from my own and slowly brought the backer of his hand up to brush solidly against me cheek. What surprised me even more was when his fingers began to trail along my jaw slowly, his calloused fingers surprisingly soft as they brushed feather light against my lips, down the column of my neck, before entangling themselves in the hair at the back of my neck. What surprised me most of all was when he leaned in while pulling me forwards, our noses skimming each others slightly, causing my breath to catch in my throat at our proximity.
"I will never harm you..." He breathed, his words dancing across my lips, merely an inch away, making them tingle slightly in response and anticipation. I mentally slapped myself for such behaviour. Proximity to a cute boy should not be an excuse for your brain to leak out of your ears Cue!
Fighting to keep my self control intact, I griped the arm that held the back of my neck slightly, effectively preventing Jack from drawing me any further in.
"You say that now. But one day you will." I said in a small voice.
"You might not intend too, you might not even mean to when you do but that doesn't matter. Everyone hurts you eventually. You just can never give them a chance to. And so I never give them a chance to. Because I know that along the lines they will hurt me, they will betray me or worse... Not hurting me is apparently a big enough challenge that no one has ever succeeded in. And something no one will ever succeed in..."
For a moment Jacks eyes fell, his expression one of sadness and disappointment. But the his features changed slightly, until a look of pure determination and sincerity graced his features.
His grip on the back of my neck tightened. He just wasn't going to take no as a bloody answer was he!
When his mouth was only a hairs breath away from my own he whispered,
"Challenge accepted." His voice taking on a growl like quality.
Then all of a sudden his mouth was on mine, hard and unyielding. His left hand fisted in my hair while his right untangled gently from our intertwined fingers and ghosted up my side before gently cupping my cheek. His lips were cool and soft against my own, but strong and persistent at the same time. I could feel the way his mouth moved against my bottom lip what he was trying to convey in a way that words could not. His mouth was reassuring, cementing the truth in the words he had already spoken, and trying to emphasis the fact that this was not a lie, his actions, his words, his thoughts. All of the emotions he was pouring into the kiss were not fake, and in a state absolute shock and happiness, I found myself kissing him back.
And I let go.
I pressed my lips further into his, earning a muffled groan to be head from Jack, clearly surprised and grateful at my eventual response to his lips on mine. With a sudden new found confidence, my hands trailed up his chest, skimming along the fabric of his hoodie and gripping tightly at the material that clung to his collarbone. In this moment, this one moment I wanted to forget the feeling of being unloved, of being unwanted. I wanted to forget about the Guardians and Pitch and the ever increasing pressure i felt i was constantly under. i wanted to forget my past and everything around me except this moment. i wanted to forget the fact i have not trusted another person in over three hundred years. And although this feeling of happiness, of belonging would probably last no longer than ten minutes, I felt myself give in to it as I kissed Jack with more vigour.
When I felt Jack's tongue graze my lower lip, then nip at it impatiently, I opened my mouth, effectively deepening the kiss and allowing Jack to have full access and roam my mouth with his tongue, granting his request. Something he wasted no time in doing might I add. Trying to suppress the moan that escaped me was futile, the feeling of his cool tongue against mine enough to snap my last thread of self control as I leaned into him further, our chests pressing together slightly as we scooted closer to each other on the tree branch.
Now I'm not gonna lie. It wasn't the most comfortable kissing position one could think of. Considering we had probably been sitting in this tree for well over an hour now anyway, the bark from the branch had begun to dig into my bum and legs, effectively giving me pins and needles as well. Even though our chests were touching, the fact that we had our legs dangling over the branch made it that from the wrist down we were facing forwards, and so from our waists up our bodies were awkwardly twisted so that they pressed together.
All in all, not the best Tuesday night snog-fest one would hope for!
I made way to pull back from Jack's lips, to try and readjust to a more comfortable position on the tree branch, but his groaning answer of "Cue, don't" at my attempts to break the kiss caused me to laugh against his lips. Gently I untangled his hand from my hair, gave him one last peck on the cheek when I noticed the pout he had on his face, and leaned back slightly, giving us both needed room to recover our breathing. Once my heart rate had slowed to around normal I dared to look up into Jacks eyes. The brightness of his smile could have rivalled that of the moon of this particularly stray night and I couldn't help myself but give him a shy smile of of my own.
His hand re entangled itself around the hair at the nape of my neck, his body leaning closer again. Just as he was about to lean in and reconnect our lips once more, his head shot up and his eyebrows furrowed. Panic began to build inside me.
Did he regret it?
Oh god, he regretted it didn't he?
Was he going to leave?
God I was such an idiot for ever thinking someone like him would genuinely care about someone like me!
...But that's when I noticed what he was doing.
He was sniffing.
Curiosity taking hold of me I began to lightly sniff the air around us also. And that's when the distinctive smell assaulted my nostrils.
Smoke.
"What's happening?" I half whispered to Jack, trying not to break the concentration on his face, but deep down I already knew what was happening.
Out in the midden of nowhere, surrounded by miles upon miles of frozen wasteland with no signs of civilisation anywhere, there was only one place that was a source of enough wood to create the smell of smoke this strong.
We both looked up towards the sky at the same time, our eyes widening when they confirmed what our nostrils already guessed. There, on the horizon, with deep black smoke billowing towards us was the orange glow of something burning.
"The workshop" I breathed at the same time Jack swore very loudly and leaped off the branch into the ominous night sky.
Thanks for reading guys! Please review :) like I said before, I am not giving up on this story but I can't promice a new chapter every week so please be patient with me! :) also I typed this on my phone so there may be a few typos or autocorrections so please forgive me! :)
