Zeref's Pain
Disclaimer – I do not own Fairy Tail
Summary: Zeref doesn't have the perfect childhood, but he'll do his best to survive. AU.
Author's Note #1– I'm taking a drabble I made for Dragon Family Values and turning it into a mini multi-chapter fic.
Author's Note #2 –Sorry if you don't like my character portrayals, but I'm enjoying myself. Now let's get crazy!
WARNING!
*Mentions of Child Abuse/Rape (Emotional/Verbal/Slight Physical)*
Chapter 9 (Rated M)
"The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They make the best of everything."
"What're you all smiley about?" Natsu asked knowingly when Zeref finally returned to their room.
"Um, nothing," Zeref replied quickly.
"Oh, don't give me that! Now tell me!" implored Natsu eagerly.
"We played piano together. And she…sat in my lap."
Natsu's eyes widened comically. "So I take it you had fun?" he laughed.
Zeref blushed furiously as he chucked a pillow at his brother's head. Natsu took that as a yes.
"Let's just go to bed. I'm beat and we have school tomorrow," groaned Zeref, collapsing onto the bed.
"Fine." Natsu lay down next to him and Zeref pulled the covers over them both. They relaxed and drifted off into a deep sleep.
Mavis's Bedroom
All she heard was a scream.
And that's all it took to send her bolting from her bed.
Mavis quickly looked around her room and listened intently. It was quiet. Maybe she'd imagined it.
Lying back down, she was just about to fall back asleep when she heard another scream. This time it was much louder, and a lot longer.
Leaping from her bed, she sprinted from her room and out into the hallway, only to collide with Gray and Zera.
"You heard it, too, Mavis?" Zera asked worriedly.
Mavis nodded. "Who-" She was cut off by another short scream followed by whimpers…and Zeref's voice. Pushing past her sister and Gray, Mavis approached the door to their room and knocked. When she didn't receive the response she wanted, she opened the door, Gray and Zera peeking into the room from behind her.
Zeref sat in the middle of the bed, Natsu huddled in his arms as he tried to comfort the trembling teen. He was sobbing so hard it almost looked as if it were too hard for him to breathe.
"Natsu, it's okay. Everything's going to be fine," Zeref said soothingly, rocking his brother back and forth comfortingly.
"Zeref?" Zera's soft voice seemed to penetrate the dire atmosphere. "Is everything okay?"
Zeref's eyes snapped toward the small crowd at the door before he replied. "Yes. He just had a nightmare."
"It must have been some nightmare," Gray mumbled under his breath, eyeing Natsu anxiously.
"Just…give me a few minutes. Please." Zeref's eyes begged them to leave, and they did, albeit reluctantly.
When Zeref had finally calmed Natsu, he laid him back down on the bed and pulled the covers over him. "Try to relax and get some rest. If you need me, just yell," said Zeref. Natsu nodded in understanding and clutched the blankets to him closely as he let out a shaky breath.
Stepping away from the bed, Zeref left the room, closing the door behind him softly.
"What's going on?" Mavis demanded almost immediately.
"Natsu just had a nightmare. That's all," Zeref explained nervously.
"That was more than just a nightmare," Gray exclaimed. "I know there's more to it than that."
Zeref fidgeted between the two teens and was soon saved from responding due to Zera's reappearance. She was carrying a giant stuffed cat that seemed to be as big as she was.
"I thought Natsu might want something to comfort him. Maybe this'll help with the nightmares. Can I give it to him?" asked Zera.
"Sure," Zeref answered quietly.
"Why don't you stay with Natsu for a bit? We need to talk to Zeref," Mavis said. Zera nodded and went into the room.
When the door closed behind her, Mavis took Zeref by the wrist and dragged him away from the room, down the hall, and into her study. Gray followed after them. Slamming the door shut, Mavis turned on Zeref, glaring full force.
"You better tell me what is going on!"
"I…I can't. I'm sorry, I just can't," Zeref said apprehensively.
"Come on, Zeref. Tell us. Maybe we can help," Gray offered, trying to act as some sort of mediator.
"You wouldn't understand. You could never understand…but I do," Zeref said distantly, a look of desperation on his face.
Mavis did not like that look. She reached out to touch him on the arm, saying, "Zeref-"
"No!" Zeref snapped, snatching his arm away. "Just leave us alone! I'm handling it!"
"Apparently, you're not handling it well enough if he wakes up screaming in the middle of the night!" said Mavis, losing her temper. She regretted her words as soon as she said them when she saw the hurt look on Zeref's face.
Zeref felt as if he'd just been slapped. That was…harsh…but maybe Mavis was right. Maybe he couldn't help Natsu. Feeling tears sting his eyes, he ran for the door, but two sets of arms caught him and pulled him back.
"Let me go!" Zeref screamed, fighting both Gray and Mavis's grip.
"No. Not until you let us help you and Natsu," Gray began. "We promise that whatever you say won't leave this room. Right, Mavis?"
"Right," the blonde answered, agreeing with Gray. Maybe she should take a different approach with Zeref. "It's okay, Zeref. You can tell us."
Shocked by Mavis's kind words, Zeref stopped fighting them and started fighting himself. If he told them what happened to Natsu, then they'd probably find out what happened to him. And he wasn't sure if he was ready to face that yet.
"Are you going to tell us now, Zeref? Because we'll stay here all night if we have to," said Mavis, and Zeref believed they would.
"Can you let me go first?" Zeref pleaded. After they let him go, he hugged himself, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. "Our parents divorced when we were young. I stayed with my father and our mother took Natsu. After some time, she remarried. Natsu's stepfather abused him…and he…occasionally raped him. He ran away from home as soon as he could. That's why he's staying with me. I understand, so I've been trying to help him."
Gray felt as if his heart ripped in half at hearing what had happened to Natsu. How could someone do that to him? He was so sweet, kind-hearted, and gentle. And Gray really liked him. Natsu deserved to be treasured, loved, and adored, and Gray was willing to give him just that.
Mavis looked at Zeref, dumbfounded and shocked that Natsu had gone through something so terrible.
And as she thought over Zeref's words, something he'd said struck her deeper than a knife ever could.
Zeref had said that he understood. Did that mean something had happened to Zeref? Did someone hurt Zeref like that?
Mavis was determined to find out.
"Gray, go send my sister to bed and stay with Natsu for now. Zeref and I need to have a little talk," said Mavis. The tone of her voice left no room for argument.
Gray eyed Mavis and Zeref warily for a moment before he left the study. As he walked down the hall toward Zeref and Natsu's room, he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of grief. How could someone so sweet and so innocent be hurt so badly? No one deserved that.
He arrived at the room sooner than he'd expected. Pausing, he rapped lightly on the door; Zera answered it.
"Hey, Zera. Your sister wants you to go to bed. I'll sit with Natsu," Gray offered quietly.
The young girl glanced back at Natsu, who was now sound asleep on the edge of the bed. "Um, okay. But he just fell asleep. Try not to wake him."
"I won't," replied Gray as he ushered the small girl out of the room. Closing the door as softly as he could, he stepped over to the bed and sat on the floor so that he could be near Natsu.
The other teen's face looked so calm and peaceful to him. It was actually quite hard to believe that Natsu's stepfather had hurt him so badly.
Lifting his hand shakily, Gray tentatively reached out to Natsu and began stroking his soft, silky pink locks. He smiled gently when he heard Natsu sigh contentedly and unconsciously leaned into his touch.
It was then that Gray decided that he would do all that it took to help Natsu heal, and to show him how he should be treated; especially by someone who cared for him.
Gray hoped Mavis would do the same for Zeref.
Zeref stood frozen to his spot in the middle of the room. He didn't move; he couldn't move. And all Mavis could do was stand there right along with him, watching him helplessly.
"Zeref?"
Zeref just kept his eyes focused on the floor. He was currently beating himself up for spilling his darkest secret to Mavis. Why, oh why, did he have to go and tell them the truth? Why couldn't he have just kept it a secret? And what if his friends found out that he'd-
"Zeref."
His head snapped up. "What?" he asked.
"Come sit down with me," Mavis said, beckoning him to sit on the couch in her study.
"Why?" Zeref inquired, frightened all over again.
"So we can talk. It'll be more comfortable than standing here in the middle of the room," Mavis continued in the same gentle manner.
Well, that did make sense. But sitting on a couch with Mavis so that they could be more comfortable when they talked sounded…so unlike her. However, Zeref gave in.
Both he and Mavis headed for the couch at the same time. After they sat down, Mavis noticed that Zeref was pressing himself up against the side of the couch as far away from her as he possibly could.
Sighing, Mavis scooted closer to Zeref, which only made him jump. Seeing as how this was going nowhere, she decided to say something she'd never thought she'd say to anyone other than Zera.
"Thank you," Mavis said softly. Those two simple words brought Zeref out of his stupor.
"Huh? For what?" Zeref asked hesitantly.
"For playing for me earlier…and for being there when I needed someone to talk to about my father. It was…nice. Thanks."
"You're welcome." Well, that was weird.
They were silent for a moment longer before Mavis started speaking again. "I want to help you, Zeref. But I can't do anything if you don't talk to me," he said powerlessly.
Zeref had never expected, in all the time he'd known the blonde, to hear those words come from Mavis's mouth. Never. Especially to someone like him. "Why do you want to help me all of a sudden? Ever since we found each other again when we first started high school, you've done nothing but ignore or insult me. Don't you…hate me?"
Mavis closed her eyes. It was now or never. "Oh, Zeref. I never hated you. And I know I'd promised to always be there for you. After my father died and I had to leave you, I was adopted by the couple who lived here and they had a small daughter. Zera. They said they wanted me as an older sister for her, but it felt more like they were using me as a tool to keep her entertained.
"When Zera's parents died, I inherited the estate and custody over Zera. I'd settled for the fact that love was pointless and I shouldn't get my hopes up, but…Zera had a way of worming herself into my heart. I love her as if she were my real sister. And when I saw you again in high school, all those past memories came flooding back and I was afraid.
"I didn't want to feel loss like I had before. I figured if I kept you at a distance, it wouldn't hurt as much. It didn't occur to me that I'd be hurting you instead. I do care about you, Zeref. And I don't like seeing you this way. Let me help you," Mavis stated firmly. Her voice never wavered and Zeref could see the sincerity in her emerald eyes.
And Zeref knew he could finally trust her again. Maybe…she could take all the pain away.
"What do you want to know?" Zeref asked hoarsely, hugging himself as if trying to keep warm. He couldn't believe he was actually letting Mavis in after all this time. He just hoped he wouldn't regret it.
"Did you go through what Natsu went through?" the blonde asked in a rush. It was blunt and straight to the point, which seemed a little harsh even in her own eyes, but she needed to know. She needed to know if Zeref had been hurt like Natsu had.
Zeref squeezed his eyes shut as he fought back tears and memories he thought he'd buried in the past. He gave Mavis permission to ask and now he had to answer, right?
"Almost," Zeref answered in a barely audible voice.
Almost? What does 'almost' mean? "Can you be more specific?" Mavis asked as soothingly as she could.
And then the tears started to fall.
Vicious sobs racked Zeref's body as he pulled his arms around his legs even tighter, as if he were trying to make himself appear as small as possible.
"I can't-" Zeref was interrupted by Mavis swiftly pulling him into a hug. She wrapped her arms around his body as well as she could and rocked him back and forth, trying to calm him.
Taken aback by Mavis's sudden display of affection, Zeref did the only thing he felt capable of doing. He put his arms around Mavis and hugged her back, crying his heart out. When was the last time he'd felt loved like this?
And Mavis just sat there doing what she could to comfort him. She rubbed his back, she made comforting sounds, and she hugged him even tighter.
"Why are you doing this?" Zeref mumbled.
"I told you already. I do care, Zeref. It…just took me a while."
Zeref pulled away slightly so that he could look Mavis in the face. "You really care about me?"
"Yes," replied mavis awkwardly, a light blush staining her cheeks. She hoped Zeref wouldn't notice.
He did.
"Are you blushing?" Zeref asked, shock clearly written on his face, his tears subsiding. Why is she blushing? Does this mean she really likes me?
"No," Mavis spluttered in response. She was really blushing now. "I mean…maybe. But it doesn't really matter becau-" Zeref silenced her with a finger to her lips.
"That's enough, Mavis," Zeref said calmly.
All of the blonde's thoughts were put on hold when Zeref's lips abruptly made contact with her. The kiss was light and chaste, but it was enough to melt Mavis into a nice little puddle of goo.
Zeref's mind was in overdrive. He couldn't believe he was actually kissing Mavis, the woman he'd grown to love after all this time. And the blonde hadn't pushed him away, so that had to mean something good.
A few minutes later, they broke apart. Breathing heavily, blazing dark eyes stared into molten emerald ones. They stayed like that until they had the ability to speak again.
Mustering up what courage he could, Zeref said, "I love you, Mavis. I have ever since I met you. And I know you probably don't feel the same as I do, but I just thought you should know." He tried to remove himself from Mavis's embrace so that he could leave, but the blonde pulled him back.
Shocked once more by her actions, Zeref could only look at her, awestruck when Mavis lifted a hand to his face and stroked his cheek.
"You're wrong, Zeref. I do feel the same. I love you, too. I just didn't know what it was that I was feeling until a short while ago," Mavis replied earnestly, a light smile dusting her lips. But that smile gradually faded as her expression grew serious once more. "Zeref? Can you please tell me what happened to you? I won't tell a soul. It'll only be between us if that's what you want. I want to help you through this. I care too much for you to do otherwise."
Zeref sighed as he dropped his head unceremoniously on Mavis's lap. "My father started beating me as soon as my mother and Natsu left. He would get drunk…and then he would start hitting me…calling me names…and blaming me for everything that went wrong in his life. When I turned fourteen, he started bringing his friends home."
At this, Zeref paused, a blank look crossing his face. "They were…as wasted and cruel as he was. Maybe even more so. And then he…started letting them use me," Zeref cried, tears streaming down his face once more. "They made me do things I didn't want to do. I didn't want to do them, Mavis. But they made me. Mavis, they made me."
"Zeref." Mavis pulled him into a fierce hug, refusing to let him go. She could feel tears stinging her own eyes, but she also felt a sense of rage wash over her. She wanted to hurt the men who dared to harm Zeref, but she knew that was nearly impossible. All she could do, all she wanted to do, was sit there with Zeref in her arms and comfort him in the best way she knew how.
"It stopped when I was sixteen. As soon as I turned eighteen, I moved out. And I haven't seen any of them, including my father, since," Zeref continued in a strained voice. "And I understand if you don't want anything to do with me now. And please, don't tell Natsu."
"I won't tell him. But Zeref, listen to me," Mavis said, staring lovingly into Zeref's eyes. "What happened to you doesn't change how I feel about you. I love you. I'm going to show you what it's like to be cared for by someone who truly loves you. All right?"
Zeref put his arms around Mavis and squeezed her affectionately. The blonde took that as a yes.
"Thank you so much for understanding," Zeref whispered, planting a light kiss on Mavis's cheek.
The blonde smiled heartily. "You're welcome. Now let's go to bed. Since Gray is looking after Natsu, would you mind sharing my room for the night?" Mavis inwardly screamed. Why was she acting so boldly?!
"Um…okay. But we're not doing anything," Zeref answered apprehensively.
"And I wouldn't ask you to. We won't do anything you're not comfortable with. I'll wait forever if I have to…because I love you that much. But I might just expect a little goodnight kiss," Mavis hinted, blushing lightly.
"Okay," Zeref replied, a playful smile crossing his face, "but you'll have to catch me first!" And with that, Zeref bolted from the room.
Momentarily stunned, Mavis finally regained her wits about her and sprinted after Zeref. She found him standing in the middle of the hallway looking absolutely confused.
"It looks like I've caught you, Zeref," announced the blonde as she wrapped her arms around Zeref's waist.
"Hm. Maybe I should have asked where your room was first before I ran off," Zeref started embarrassedly.
"You're so silly," Mavis muttered before she stretched up on her tiptoes and kissed Zeref gently on the lips. "Now let's go to bed. And we're not going to school tomorrow, either, or the rest of the week for that matter."
"Huh? Why? It's only the first week back!"
"Because I think you and Natsu should take it easy for awhile. We'll return back to school next week. I am going to pamper you, and Gray just might do the same for Natsu. I'll just tell Mr. Clive that we're working on stuff for the talent show or whatever. He'll believe it and excuse us from school. What do you think?" she said as she led Zeref to her room.
"I think I like that just fine."
End Chapter
