Sorry for the slight delay, life has been busy and hectic. But I did post just in time for Castle Monday! I have a few more chapters written ahead; halfway through 13 to be exact. And it totals to 40k words...and I still have ways to go. But Every Sign is a monster that I am loving to write every step of the way.
"Do you think Alexis would want to eat with us?" Beckett asks as she and Castle exit the small room they just finished up their interview in.
Luckily, the agents weren't as harsh as they usually treated them. Beckett thinks they're slacking off because they know that their partner is lying in a hospital with a bullet wound to his head or maybe Esposito just put them in their place during his questioning. Maybe it was a little of both.
"No, I told her to get her mind off everything and go out with some friends, but she stubbornly refused," Castle shrugs his shoulders and continues, "So I had mother take her out."
Beckett laughs and leans closer to her husband's comforting embrace. "A night out would be good for her."
Castle hums in agreement and wraps his arm around Beckett's waist. His lips find her temple and he kisses her. "I love you so much, Kate."
Beckett responds not a second later. "I love you, too, Castle."
Castle nods. "I know. I just had to say it again. What Ryan's gone through; losing his wife, this pension shit, and now this. God, I can't even imagine losing you and my life just going downhill from there."
"I'm not leaving you, Castle. I think the universe has made that clear the many times people have tried to kill me."
"There's been a few close calls, though." Castle holds back a shiver at the thought.
"Yeah well, maybe that's just my mom testing you to see if you'll stick around to the bitter end," Beckett almost whispers.
"I'm with you until the end and beyond," Castle promises her with another kiss to her skin, her cheek this time.
xXx
When Beckett and Castle get back to Ryan's room, Espo is talking quietly to the doctor in the corner while Ryan and Sarah sleep peacefully. There are a few nurses in the hall waiting to bring in dinner.
The two stop beside Esposito and start listening to the rest of their conversation. They don't even have to ask before Esposito is filling them in. "Ryan can go home later tonight. They want to keep an eye on him during dinner and then they'll get the release papers ready."
Doctor Clarke nods, but repeats what he already told Espo. "He will need someone to stay with him-I'm assuming that he'll stay with his fiance-and I ask that everyone keep a close eye on him. If his headaches don't go away, or his memory lapses or just general discomfort when there shouldn't be don't hesitate to call."
Castle struggles to keep a straight face when the doctor refers to Esposito as Ryan's fiance, but the amusement wears away when they're reminded that Ryan isn't fully out of the woods yet. "Of course. The moment one of us notices something wrong, we'll bring him here."
Doctor Clarke gives a somber smile. "That is all I ask." He looks around at the three people in front of him that haven't left Detective Ryan's side since he was admitted. "He's very lucky to have friends like you."
"Yeah." Esposito looks over at his partner with a fond smile. "So I've heard."
Doctor Clarke nods and says, "I know you'll all take great care of him. I'll let you have your dinner and I'll be back later with his release papers."
"Thank you, Doctor," Beckett says before he exits the room to allow the nurses to wheel the two carts with their dinner in. Beckett thanks each nurse before shutting the door so they can eat in privacy.
Esposito lifts the cover off the nearest plate and raises his eyebrows in surprise. "Didn't know they served bacon cheeseburgers at a hospital."
Castle waves his hand, coming up to his side. "Oh, they don't. I had to pull some strings."
Esposito laughs and places his hand on Ryan's shoulder to shake him slightly. "Ryan's gonna love you when he wakes up. That's his favorite."
Castle nods happily. "I know."
"Hey, Sleeping Beauty. Dinner's here and if you don't get up I'm eating yours." Esposito shakes Ryan, but careful not to hurt him anymore. "Man, those sleeping pills knock you right out," he says to his unconscious partner.
"How long has he been out?" Beckett asks as she sets up the small table for them to eat on.
"An hour? Not even," Esposito says. "But he's been having trouble sleeping. But, he also hasn't eaten so I'm gonna wake him up and he can go back to sleep when he's home." He shakes Ryan again, but his partner only moans.
Esposito hears a small yawn below him and looks down to see Sarah Grace, drowsily blinking her eyes open. She'd been so quiet that he'd forgotten she was taking a nap with her dad. She sniffs the air twice before she sits up. Her now wide blue eyes are searching the room intently. "I smell a chee'burger."
Esposito laughs and pulls her up from Ryan's arms. "You are your father's daughter." He runs a hand through her hair after he drops her to the foot of the bed, close to the table of burgers.
Once she's settled, Espo turns back to waking up Ryan. "C'mon, bro, dinnertime." He groans when Ryan mumbles what sounds like 'shut up, Javi,'.
"If you don't get up, Kevin, Espo's going to eat your burger and I will never make a spin-off Roach book called Off the Rales like you asked," Castle taunts Ryan with a small smirk.
Ryan peeks one eye open and finds Castle standing next to his partner. "Not cool, bro."
Castle laughs and slaps his hand lightly on Ryan's thigh. "I did not bust my butt for you to eat a cold burger."
"Okay, okay," Ryan mumbles and picks his head off his pillow and jiggles his leg softly that Sarah is sitting on, munching her burger happily. "But, this lump is going to have to move first." Sarah doesn't stop eating to acknowledge her dad.
Castle smiles brightly at the toddler and takes the seat in front on the hospital bed. He pulls Sarah off of Ryan's leg before she takes another bite. "C'mere, kiddo." Castle lets her sit on his lap to give Ryan the chance to sit up.
Esposito extends his hands to help Ryan sit up, but Ryan pushes his hands away. "'M fine, Javi," he says stubbornly, pushing himself into a sitting position. It takes him three tries before he's up and scooting closer to the burgers. He pushes himself an inch, fighting the leftover drowsiness of the painkillers, before he accepts help from Javier to help him out of the bed and sit in a chair only a few inches away.
"Careful," Esposito says as he slowly lowers Ryan into the chair.
Ryan fixes himself once Esposito lets go so he's comfortable in the chair. "You're the one dropping me in this." He gestures to the chair beneath him. "Just give me a second. I can do it myself." He eyes his partner when Esposito goes to bring the plate closer.
Esposito stops his hand before he can grab the plate. "You're still working off the painkillers and you've been laying in bed for the past two days. Just let me help." He continues to pick up the burger and move it the few inches until it's in front of Ryan. "There, bon appetit."
Ryan hesitants, but sighs softly and says, "Thanks, Javi."
As Ryan takes his first bite from the burger, eliciting a small moan, Esposito pats his back with a small smile. "No problem, bro." He looks to his family sitting around them. "We're all here for you."
"This is stupid," Ryan grumbles as he and Esposito take their first step. Ryan can feel his legs wobbling and his muscles are aching to go back to resting, but he knows if he doesn't do this, he'll be cooped up in this room for who knows how long.
"It's not stupid, Kevin. You haven't used your leg muscles in a few days; it'll take some time to get your strength back," Esposito says as he secures one arm firmly around his partner's waist, so in case Ryan falls, he will catch him before he hits the ground.
"And the doctor said that if you don't take a walk, then they can't release you," Castle says, trying to help.
"I know, I know," Ryan mumbles as he casts an uneasy glance towards the doorway that leads out to the long, seemingly never ending hallway.
Ryan hates that he has to go walking around the hospital floor, clinging to his partner like an invalid. He has to wear the stupid hospital issued socks that have grips on the bottoms, preventing him from losing his footing. And he knows people are going to laugh at him in the dumb gown that doesn't shut all the way in the back. Ryan's just glad that he could wear his boxers underneath so at least his ass isn't showing.
"Let's go," Esposito says as they finally reach the door frame. The Latino turns around to look at Beckett and Castle and gives a tight smile as he inwardly sighs. "Wish me luck." Castle smiles and gives him a thumb up, but Beckett merely rolls her eyes.
As they start their slow, but steady journey, Esposito takes a moment to fix his grip on Ryan's waist. "Tell me if I'm going too fast."
Ryan huffs impatiently in his hold. "We're not even moving, yet, Javi. And besides, I was shot in the head, not my leg. I can walk."
Esposito silences when Ryan brings up the accident. Just like he's done each time someone mentions it. Ryan doesn't understand why his partner keeps avoiding the obvious. Ryan was the one shot and he thinks he's handling it better than Esposito ( for nightmares that shall not be mentioned to his partners).
"Just tell me if you need a break," Esposito says after they take a few steps. His eyes are no longer focused on Ryan like usual, checking to see if he was really okay, but rather his eyes were downcast.
They walk in silence until they reach the nurses station not far from Ryan's room. One of his nurses greets them with a smile. "Finally getting out of that stuffy room, huh? This'll do the both of you some good."
Esposito nods, but cuts straight to the point asking, "Are his discharge papers ready?"
If the nurse is offended by Esposito's bluntness and obvious lack of interest in small talk, she doesn't show it. "We're just finishing up the last of it," she promises with a smile. It doesn't reach her eyes, as it's the typical smile a doctor or nurse wears to keep their patients calm. "Doctor Clarke was going to drop them off to you in a few moments, but I'll tell him to wait there until you've finished your laps."
Ryan doesn't ask why she's pluralizing 'lap' because he's not doing more than one. He'll pinch Esposito if he even thinks about it. Ryan wants to get this over with so he tugs on Esposito's sleeve. "C'mon, I think it's time for a U-turn," Ryan nods his head to where they just came from. It's not that far, Esposito could get there in no more than 20 seconds when he didn't have an injured Irishmen plastered to his side.
Ryan expects Esposito to be all for taking the easy (cheating?) way out if that means they get to go home sooner. But it's not the nurse that quickly shoots down his idea. "We're finishing our walk around the hallway, Kevin. So suck it up and let's go."
The nurse's smile is a little more sincere as she bids them goodbye and good luck. Ryan returns the farewell as they start walking again. The interruption in their walk seems to bring back mother-hen-Javier as he watches Ryan every step he takes. Ryan figures he can easily bring up the accident again and Esposito will keep his distance, but Ryan doesn't want him to feel guilty because for some reason Esposito blames himself for this mess Ryan's in. And he also likes the comfort of having his partner close to his side.
"Do you feel a headache coming on? Am I holding you too tight? We can go slower if you'd like."
Ryan didn't have a headache, but he feels one coming on just trying to wrap his head around all the questions his partner is directing to him right now. Instead of answering each specific question, Ryan tries to assure him by saying for the dozenth time, "I'm fine, Javi."
"You're fine," Esposito repeats and Ryan gives him a weird look. "Of course, you're fine. Please, don't let my worrying bother you."
Ryan can feel Espo trying to continue their walk, but Ryan plants his feet on the ground. Esposito's been acting weird and Ryan wants to know why. "Stop. What's wrong?"
Esposito hesitates and Ryan thinks that he'll open up about what's bugging him, but he shakes his head and says, "Nothing, Ryan. Let's just keep walking. I don't want to overwork you."
Ryan flexes his jaw and holds himself back from sighing irritably. How long will it be until his partner remembers he's not going to break any second. "Javi, please, just tell me."
Esposito doesn't tell Ryan what's on his mind, not that Ryan expected him to start gushing about his feelings, but Ryan is glad to hear his voice is softer when he says, "I'm sorry, Kevin. It's nothing." Ryan doesn't believe him, but he doesn't bring it up again for the rest of their walk.
Esposito continues to stop every two minutes to check to see how Ryan is faring during the walk, his previous foul mood forgotten. He's taking their pace slow and careful. The part of Ryan acknowledging that this is his first time out of bed in two days thanks his partner for his consideration endlessly. But unfortunately the part of Ryan that favors his ego over his health is the one groaning and moaning.
"Javi," Ryan says 35 minutes in when they stop again, only a few feet from his room. "I can walk this last stretch through. No breaks," he says slowly, hoping Esposito would understand that Ryan worked hard. And really, it's only a few feet.
"What? This is only our first lap, bro," Esposito says matter of fact, like he he expects Ryan to not argue his decision.
"I'm not walking around this place again, Javier." Ryan tries to keep his voice steady and firm.
"Just once more and then we're done." Esposito meets his eyes, and Ryan can see the concern swirling through them. "Just one more."
"No, it took me an hour to not even complete one." Ryan doesn't make a move to start walking again. He refuses to continue until they both agree that Ryan will be finished once he reaches his door.
Esposito rolls his eyes. "It's not even been more than 40 minutes, drama queen."
"Close enough."
Esposito sighs and asks, "What's wrong with squeezing in an extra exercise session? You're usually crazy about walking places within two miles and taking the stairs." Esposito is right, Ryan would love to go on a walk around the city right now. But he's in a hospital with horrible hair, wearing this dumb dress. Not to mention, Castle and Beckett waiting in his room until he finishes this damn walk.
"At home, not here." Ryan shifts anxiously on his feet, remembering Castle and Beckett watching Sarah. "Can we hurry-"
Esposito cuts him off impatiently, "What's the hurry? You got a hot date?"
Ryan gives his partner his designated shut-the-hell-up-face. "It's nothing-"
"But it's something." Damn Esposito with his stupid interrupting and his ability to know everything about his partner, including when he's bothered.
"No, but...I just don't want to hear about how a grown ass detective can't walk a quarter of a mile, not even, under an hour," Ryan admits sourly and doesn't meet his partner's eyes.
Ryan feels Esposito place his hand on the small of his back and Ryan doesn't know what to make of the sudden, comforting warmth that slowly diffuses throughout his body. Ryan instinctively moves closer into Esposito, dispersing some weight for his tired legs, but his head remains downcast.
Esposito is silent for a moment and all Ryan can hear is the soothing sound of his best friend's steady breathing. When he speaks again, his voice is soft and just above a whisper, "Castle isn't going to make fun of you. Sure, Castle is unbearable sometimes, but he's not a dick. You," Espo takes a deep breath before continuing. "You were shot, Kevin." Ryan can see he had difficulty say the 's-word', but at least he's not straight up ignoring what happened. "They don't think that you're going to just jump on your feet and run a 5k."
Ryan finally looks back up at Esposito. "But, maybe, I do."
Esposito smiles and wraps his arm around Ryan's waist and prepares to start walking again. "Well, the only way you're getting that done is practice. Just once more and then we're finished," Esposito reasons. "I'll be right by your side the whole time if you need something to lean on. And if you really need it, I'll call over a nurse and we'll wheel you back the rest of the way in a wheelchair."
Ryan narrows his eyes, knowing full well that Esposito is just trying to get a rise out of him. There is no way Ryan will be pushed around this place by his partner. But if he goes on this lap, Espo would think Ryan didn't think he was strong enough to complete the walk around the wing. On the other hand, if he continues on, he'll finish in another hour and sure, Castle and Beckett won't outright say anything, but Ryan will be able to see the pity. It's a catch 22 straight out of the damn dictionary.
"Fine," Ryan grumbles, finally relenting. "I'll take another stupid lap." And it wasn't because Esposito told him to. Or because of whatever that small part of him that enjoyed being held close to his best friend's side wanted. He just wants to walk because he enjoys walking and some sleeze bag pedophile isn't going to ruin that for him.
"Good," Esposito says warmly as they officially pass Ryan's room.
Ryan glances into the room quickly and sees Sarah sitting on Castle's lap as he reads to her from a storybook he must have brought over. Beckett is curled against his side, her head tucked securely on her husband's shoulder and her arms are wrapped around his. She seems content to look up at the author and stare at him, rather than paying attention to the story.
Ryan feels his heart warm at the sight, glad that two of his best friends found happiness in each other. Suddenly his heart pangs and the image of his beautiful Jenny is dancing around his mind. But before his heart can start yearning unreasonably for his late wife, it's silenced by his partner's voice.
He looks at Esposito and sees his lips moving, but doesn't hear the words he's making. He realizes that Esposito is holding him close, closer than needed and yet Ryan still wants to nuzzle himself deeper in his best friend's arms. For the first time since Jenny, Ryan feels happy enough that he doesn't wish anything was different. Right now, Ryan wants it all to stay the same.
Please tell me what you think in the comments!
Thank you again to TXMedic for beta-reading:)
Until next time,
