10 years before…

The seven days after graduation were the second saddest days of Regina's life. It was like the moment Robin walked away from he'd decided to take her heart, energy and self-worth with her.

Months before, she and the girls had planned to spend graduation night drinking and celebrating with their classmates at the after parties. But with Robin's decision and her subsequent news, plans were swiftly changed. Regina couldn't imagine heading back into town and possibly facing him again, so her friends leapt into action whisking her away to a cabin in the woods.

When they got there she went to bed and stayed for there five days. Burying herself under the blankets, she alternated between crying her eyes out, sleeping and occasionally allowing her friends to make sure she ate. All she could think about was how sharply her prospects had fallen. Three weeks ago, she'd been Harvard-bound and in love. Now she was just a pregnant teen who'd just been dumped by a boy who'd only pretended to love her. A high-school valedictorian with no future at all.

Isolated in that bed, she'd never felt more alone… though she supposed that wasn't entirely true. She did have a baby inside her, after all.

God, she'd only found out two days before graduation. The pregnancy test was meant to settle her nerves. Her period hadn't shown up in a while but that wasn't unusual for her and she and Robin had always been safe. Even with all the evidence building up she'd never expected the plus sign to actually show up. The sight of it knocked the air out of her lungs.

She spent two days trying to figure out how to tell Robin but then he'd crushed her heart like a bug on a sidewalk. The thought of telling him now just felt painful.

It was early in the morning when she finally decided to leave the room. Still in her pajamas, her hair still mussed from her pillows she got out of bed and headed straight for the porch. When they'd first arrived at the cabin she'd noticed a porch swing. It seemed like a nice place to start reacquainting herself with the world. Watching the sunrise, she left herself swing gently back and forth using the tips of her toes, allowing the numbness inside of her to slowly fade away.

What the hell am I gonna do now?

Her friends woke up and joined her an hour later. Still dressed in their pajamas, they poked their heads through the front door regarding her, cautiously.

"Well… look how finally got out of bed," observed Mal, sitting next to her on the swing.

Regina shrugged. "Wallowing started to get monotonous," she mumbled.

Arm in arm, Ursula and Carlotta went to lean against the railing across from her, both of their eyes sympathetic.

"It's nice to see you up," said Carlotta. "For a second, I was worried you'd die in that bed."

Pretty sure I did, she thought to herself.

Sighing, Regina nodded at Carlotta. "Thanks for letting me stay here, by the way. Are you sure your mom won't mind?"

Carlotta rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Oh please, she hasn't been here since husband number two."

Which was three husbands ago, as Regina recalled. Taking another deep breath, she tried not to drown under the weight of all their concern. Her friends were clearly worried about her. Why else would they be looking at her like a ticking time bomb?

"How are you feeling?" asked Ursula.

Regina leaned back in her seat, feeling her face grow hot. "I am feeling… like an idiot."

Immediately, a trio of dissenting voices arose but she shook her head at them. "I can't believe this happened to me. I mean… I worked so hard. I studied, I volunteered, I was valedictorian, I was… the best girlfriend I could be and… now I've got nothing." Her voice broke as tears started to stream down her face. "I worked so hard to get out of here… and now I'm just gonna be another teen mom who's gonna die in the same small town she was born in. I'm a fucking cliche, just like Cora said I would be."

Mal immediately wrapped her arms around her, comfortingly pulling her closer. "Okay, first of all fuck your mother."

"Sideways," added Ursula.

"With a rusty chainsaw," finished Carlotta.

"Secondly," continued Mal, "You don't have nothing. You have us. We're your friends we're gonna help you get through this."

Wiping tears from her face, Regina shook her head. "I'm eighteen years-old and pregnant Mal. How am I supposed to get through that?"

Ursula smiled at her. "Well, I'm glad you asked." She nodded at Mal, who immediately ran back into the house. Taking her seat next to Regina, Ursula continued on. "While you were drowning in your sorrows, the girls and I were brainstorming about your future."

Mal returned with an open laptop, that she handed to Regina. "We thought this would be a good place for you to start."

Skeptical, Regina looked at the screen and saw it was pre-written email addressed to the head of admissions at Harvard. Skimming the details, she knew it was meant to be from her, claiming her spot at Harvard for the upcoming year.

Letting out a deep breath, she rolled her eyes. "Guys that is sweet but… I can't go to Harvard. Not like this, not… pregnant."

"Why the hell not?" demanded Ursula. "If my mother could spend all day on her feet, running my family's restaurant while pregnant with my sisters, what's stopping you from sitting in a classroom and learning?"

Carlotta nodded her head in agreement. "Plus we checked and there are resources for girls in your situation. School doctors and student health insurance."

"And what about when the baby comes?" stressed Regina. "It's not like I can just pack it up and take it to class with me."

"We'll figure something out," argued Mal. "Don't forget I'll be there too."

Regina pressed her lips together, uncertain. "I don't know you guys. It's just… not what I pictured. Being the pregnant girl on campus."

"Would you prefer to be the pregnant girl at home?" said Carlotta, arching an eyebrow at her.

"No," mumbled Regina. "I just…"

She trailed off, unsure of how to finish that sentence. It seemed like it would be a nightmare. Going to college pregnant, dealing with all the stares and whispers. She wanted Harvard but did she really want it that way?

Mal tilted her head, growing impatient with her indecisiveness. "Alright listen, do you want to have this baby?"

Regina shrugged her shoulders. "I… I don't know."

"Do you want to tell Robin about it?"

Balling her hands up, she shook her head. "I'm not sure yet."

"Do you want to raise it, give it away, not have it all?"

"I haven't decided yet!" stressed Regina, raising her voice.

Mal stared at her, intently, for a beat. "Do you want to go to Harvard?"

"Yes." Her answer came out in a small, wistful whisper. Yes, she wanted to go Harvard. Yes, she wanted to go to law school. Yes, she wanted to get the hell out of this town and learn from the best minds in the world. That is what she wanted. More than anything.

"Then go," Mal ordered. "You can go. It is something you want, something you deserve to have. Yes it'll be harder for you, and maybe more awkward than you thought it would be but this is one part of your future that he has not shattered. It's still there. You just have to let yourself have it."

Ursula squeezed her shoulder. "Regina… you can do this. You can go to Harvard."

Torn inside, Regina thought of the school she'd always dreamed of and the baby growing inside of her. For the past week, she'd been thinking of them as two seperate possibilities, two futures that could never mix. Perhaps she was wrong about that. Sitting on the porch swing, surrounded by her friends' encouragement, she started to wonder… what if I could have both?

Swallowing her doubts, she read through the email and clicked send. It was official… she was going to Harvard.

Once the email was sent she felt the tension in her stomach, loosen just a bit. She was still going to school and that was important. However, there were still other things to consider. What she going to do about the baby? Would she ever tell Robin? How was she going to tell her parents?

Oh god… how was she going to tell her parents?

Growing up Regina knew that she had one of the best fathers in town. She also knew that when it came to mothers she'd certainly drawn the short stick.

Henry and Cora Mills were a mismatched pair and everyone knew it. Her father was hard working, humble and sweet. Her mother… was not.

Though Regina supposed that was unfair. Her mother was always sniping about how hard it was to be her. To be married to a man who worked so much but only brought home so little. To be stuck as a housewife in a small town. To look around at your life and see that everything had fallen short of your dreams and expectations, including your spouse and child. Her mother had truly been a rose dying on the vine. At least that's how she'd seen herself. Other simply saw her as a mean-spirited alcoholic. Regina included.

She didn't shed a single tear when she learned that her mother had run off with an old rich flame, leaving in broad daylight during her sophomore year of college. If anything she only felt sad for her father, who appeared as though he was half of a man when he'd showed up to tell her the news. Nearly 25 years of marriage and it all took was the promise of New York penthouse and limitless credit cards for her mother to throw it all away.

Her father had been shattered. For all her mother's faults - and there were many- he had loved her. And she, more than anyone, knew how badly it hurt to love someone who had never felt the same.

It took time but eventually her father got past it all, just as she did. She'd never seen him happier than he was these past few years. Her father seemed lighter and unburdened. His confidence had rebounded in spades and he'd even gone on a few dates here and there. Nothing special, he always said, but good enough.

And of course, he loved Henry.

Nothing made Henry Sr. happier than spending time with his grandson. Being a grandfather had revived a bit of his youth, and he'd practically danced a jig when he heard the two of them were coming down for the reunion. Ever since they'd arrived he'd been showering them with attention, cooking for them every meal and listening to their tales of the reunion.

Returning from her trip to the lake with Robin and his son, Regina decided that today was one story she'd be better off keeping to herself. After her pregnancy her father made no secret of his disdain for the boy who'd once broken her heart. She didn't want to ruin his good mood by mentioning that she'd talked to him.

Of course, things would've worked out better if she'd told her son about this decision.

It was a few hours after they returned, Henry and her father were playing checkers as he rambled on about the baseball game. Her father was mid-move when Henry dropped Robin's name. The smack of that red checker was the last thing she heard before her father turned his inquisitive brown eyes at her, while still talking to Henry.

"Oh… you met Robin today?"

Henry nodded his head, unaware of all the rising tension, still focusing on what move to make next. "Yep. He and mom were old friends."

"Oh, I'm aware," her father mumbled, narrowing his eyes at her from across the room. She squirmed under his gaze, kicking herself for not warning her son in the first place.

"He and his son showed us the lake," chirped Henry. "And I tried to skip rocks but I wasn't good at it."

Henry Sr. finally turned his attention back to his grandson, letting out a soft chuckle. "Oh that's alright. It takes a lot of practice to learn how to skip rocks. Next time you visit, I'll take you out and teach you."

"Cool!" said Henry, finally making his move.

Two minutes later, her father abruptly ended their game, claiming that it was time to cook dinner. Regina sighed as she watched him walk away. Twenty-eight years-old but she was still unable to handle her father's disappointment.

She follows him into the kitchen, her shoulders feeling heavy when she finds him pulling down spices for dinner. Judging by the spices, it looks like chili for tonight.

"Daddy," she drawls, approaching him by the counter. "Don't be mad."

"Why would I be mad?" he says, shrugging his shoulders.

She sighs. "I only saw him for a second Daddy. We just talked and caught up on a few things."

He eyes her suspiciously. "Things like what?"

"Nothing big," she mumbled. "Just things like his wife and his son."

Her father grumbled, turning his attention back to the spice. "Yeah, I remember when she died. He walked around in a haze for months. It was sad." He paused, twisting the cap off an old jar of cinnamon, sighing deeply when it finally came off. Looking at her with hesitant eyes, he nodded toward the kitchen table. "Sit down sweetheart."

Regina subtly gulped, taking a seat. They always had serious talks at the kitchen table.

Her father joined her, softly groaning as he lowered himself into a chair across from hers. Once seated, he stared at her with understanding eyes. "Regina… I'm not mad that you saw Robin."

She raised her eyebrows. "You're not?"

"No," he says, shaking his head. "But I am a little disappointed, frankly."

Confusion plays out on her face. "Disappointed how?"

He sighs, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know, I just… when you said you were coming back here I knew you would probably see him and I thought that meant that you were finally ready to tell him everything."

Regina bit her lip as her heart clenched in her chest. "Daddy… all of that is in the past, there's no point in telling him now. I'm over it."

Henry shook his head. "Honey, we both know that's not true. Just because you bury the things that hurt you doesn't mean they didn't happen. You're not over it, baby, your carrying it. On your back and in your heart."

She presses her lips together, shaking her head. "That's not true," she denies. "I've moved on. I have Henry, I have my job and good friends. I have a good life."

"I never said you didn't," her father immediately replied. "You've done so much better than I ever could. You've gone so much farther than you dreamed but… I don't know, ever since your pregnancy it's like you've held back a piece of yourself every new person that comes along. Maybe that's why you and Daniel never-"

"Daddy please!" she hissed, shutting him down. "Don't."

He grabbed her hand, sympathetic. "Regina… it has been six months since he died and you still can't hear his name."

Regret swells up inside of her at the thought of Daniel, the first man she'd truly had feelings for since Robin. He'd wanted to be with her, he wanted to make her happy but by the time she was willing to give him a real chance… he'd already been taken from her. Thinking of him along with Robin and all the pain surrounding their relationship, it was just too much.

"I know opening yourself up to love and pain is hard," he said, "But maybe it'll be easier if you actually told Robin how much you went through after the two of you broke up. Maybe then you can finally let it all go."

Regina sniffed. "I disagree," she stubbornly replied.

Her father sighed, dropping his gaze downward. "I just don't want you to give up on love because of your experiences and the bad example I set for you."

"Daddy," she says, her voice growing tender, "You didn't set a bad example for me. Every man that comes into my life is measured against you."

That manages to earn her sad smile.

"And I haven't given up on love," she said. "The love of my life is in the living room playing checkers, remember?"

Her father nods his head concedingly. "I know how much it means for you to have him. Just remember that it's okay for you to have someone else too."

He presses a kiss to her forehead before going back to cook dinner. Staying at the kitchen table, Regina thought over their conversation, visions of Robin in the past and in the present dancing around in her head, knowing that she'd never tell him the truth.

She couldn't.


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