Author's Note: I had this chapter written a couple weeks ago but postponed posting it just because I always feel pressured to make a chapter "long enough" whether it feels like that chapter needs something else or not. But after waiting this time, I still feel like I wrote what this needed and I'll start the next chapter on a fresh note. I hope everyone is still enjoying the story, apologize for the delay, and encourage readers to please let me know what you are thinking of it and what you'd like to see covered about the story in future chapters.
Compatibility
Chapter 9: Your Eyes Don't Wanna Show
It was her wedding night and so far Hermione Granger was spending it all alone with only her thoughts to keep her company. She somewhat welcomed the opportunity though, because those thoughts were keeping her mind quite occupied. Her experience alone with Severus at the Ministry had been an interesting one that her mind couldn't help but analyze.
So the bat of the dungeons liked it rough, did he? Hermione couldn't help but laugh. Somehow that wasn't really surprising. She'd often wondered about such activity herself.
Ever since the idea had first entered her head a few months ago, Hermione had been working out a 'logical' explanation for the urge. It had all started because of a few books she'd begun reading when the war ended. It had occurred to her at the end of the war that she hadn't really wanted to be alone, but anxiety over a subject she knew nothing about had bothered her more than the desire to alleviate her loneliness. In lieu of physical gratification, Hermione had taken up reading about it. Because, she thought, at least then she'd know what she was looking for.
The idea of "making love" hadn't really appealed to her. Not that she objected to mutual feelings of love, but she did object to being coddled and that's really what "making love" sounded like to her. Yes, let's take something that is supposed to be some of the most intensely pleasurable experiences of your life and instead of pursuing that intensity for all it's worth, let's instead focus on being slow and gentle as we attempt to bring each other to what we both seek. Riiggghhhht.
That might be all right for the likes of Lavender Brown but when Hermione wanted to do something she wanted to be the best at it and that meant mindless pleasure wholeheartedly pursued by taking their bodies to maximum awareness and sensitivity. Just the thought of the adrenaline and contrast provided by a dose of roughness, of a little bit of pain, went straight south and had her hips aching for fulfillment.
Months ago, when it first crossed her mind, Hermione had tried talking to Ron about the idea. They were planning on getting married after all and sexual satisfaction was a big part of a happy marriage. To Ron's credit he had at least tried to comply, but his roughness didn't translate to desire and pleasure in Hermione's mind, rather they appeared as clumsy and inadequate. For awhile she thought that maybe the idea of pleasure mixed with pain was only good in the realm of theory.
That idea had left her mind the moment Severus had touched her and the craving for more had been intensifying ever since.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Minutes or hours later, neither knew which, Severus opened the door stiffly and offered his hand for Hermione to join him. Her heart began racing, nerves losing their steel as she entered his bedroom.
"I would offer to wait until another night for this," Severus drawled, "except that I don't believe the Ministry's spells will permit us that."
Hermione forced a smile. "That's ok," she said simply and begun unbuttoning her outer robes. They both began undressing in silence, trying hard to concentrate on the fabric they wore rather than the other person they would soon be touching. It didn't matter that they both still had their reservations about the situation, the heat of earlier hadn't been entirely extinguished and they both felt it.
Severus knew that at some point he would unleash his restraint and probably scare the girl half out of her mind, but tonight at least he thought he could go easy on her.
As they went to his bed, Hermione was trying to decipher Severus' behavior. He wasn't eager nor gentle, warm nor loving. But he wasn't hurting her either, and at the very least he wasn't claiming sex to be an inconvenience. Though Hermione half expected he would claim just that before things were said and done.
He didn't kiss her this time, but Hermione didn't even notice. Not now. His hands roamed her body, fingers dipping inside her and causing pleasure to replace part of her nervousness. She didn't look down when he finally positioned himself over her. Hermione was terrified. She knew it would hurt and didn't want her nerves made worse by her curiosity. In a moment the pain had come sharply and already begun to fade into a dull ache. Her fingers were clutching the sheets beneath her as her mind explored the sensations she was feeling. The first few thrusts were slow and painful, but soon Severus began to go faster and Hermione found her hips rising to meet him and her hands wandering his back attempting to pull him closer.
Severus had been surprised at her initial pain, having hoped Weasley would have taken care of that particular detail previously. Still, once he felt her body begin to relax and the pain began to take on at least a hint of pleasure he let loose. Perhaps another time he was draw things out to prolong his pleasure, but for now it had been too long. He took her hands from where they gripped his back and pinned them beneath him, beginning to push for his release with a fury where he thought nothing of breathing or comfort for either until he reached his goal.
At first the pain felt as though hours passed rather than seconds, but once the pain was gone the encounter ended far too quickly for Hermione's liking. She had just begun to feel the sort of indescribable pleasure she had heard of, just short of her own release, when it was all over. He said nothing, merely rolled over to the other side of the bed and was soon snoring loudly. It left her with nothing but her own thoughts, and those were in no short supply.
Had he been trying to prove a point yet again? He'd not been cruel, but neither had he truly sought her pleasure. Not that she had entirely expected it, but he had been colder towards her while within her than he had been at that Ministry office. The Severus she'd seen when he pushed her against the wall was the Severus she wanted, but Hermione wondered if she'd married him only to find that the man she'd glimpsed sight of would never show himself again. Well damn.
-x-x-x-x-x-
The next morning Hermione woke to find Severus already gone, surprising her only because she herself was used to waking before anyone. Stretching slightly in bed she found certain areas of her body to be quite sore and all she could think of was a hot bath. Wandering into the bathroom nearby she found her robe laying across the tub with a couple small bottles and a note. It was short, but she recognized Severus' hand. These should help.
The small gesture was surprisingly sweet, making her laugh slightly at how this man seemed to switch from one extreme to another every time she turned around. She was glad of the potions, but somehow knew he wouldn't want her thanks. Oh well. As she soaked in her hot bath, all her cares seemed to fade away…
-x-x-x-x-x-
The second year dunderheads before him were staring cautiously, and Severus knew he had been acting oddly all morning. Still, they always considered him odd, so it was no business of theirs if something was different. He had managed to hide away all day yesterday, not wishing to look Hermione in the eyes if he could help it.
He knew their experience hadn't been anything to recommend sex to her in the future. He'd told himself he would make it good for her, so at least she wouldn't be afraid of him from the very beginning, but when the time came he hadn't known how to do anything but withdraw into the cold persona he'd been hiding behind for years. Well, as Lucius would say to him at least she wasn't an old hag, so maybe the rest was fixable.
