Woohoo, second chapter in two days. I really should be studying, but can't get motivated. So instead, we are blowing off studying for this!

Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! (Nope.) I dntn red all da boox (What boxes? The Lucky Charms that had little blips of Harry Potter on the back)! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers (To my knowledge he never swore in the movie. And technically, it is your fault. Your story, your fault)! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a Satanist (Um, he never liked Harry and I'm pretty sure Snape is not a Christian.)! MCR ROX!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXX

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me (What? Did he tell you he was cheating or something? I thought it was Vampire who cheated on you. At least, that's what you said.). I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco (Again, poor tree. It's gonna have PTSD. That tree deserves an award.).

Then all of a suddenly, an (Ugh, grammar sucks.) horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick (Everything was flying towards her? I would like a picture of this. Crush her!)! He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie [Spoil the big reveal you idiot!]) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic (Cause that was what I would be focusing on right now, if he was gothic or not. Did the pink shoes give it away? Sh, spoilers! And it was the lack of white foundation.). It was… Voldemort! (Gasp. Ah, but I wonder if he had a nose.)

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice (Why? Is his no nose face truly that frightening? No! No more story!) but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away (Um, wrong spell. Maybe she's deaf and didn't know what he said. Quiet you, you're offending deaf people!).

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him (I'm curious as to what this actually did, can someone please send me a pic? I think the reason she shouted that was she was hoping he would come and save her.). Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream (Because of her stupidity? It was a scream of laughter). I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped (Worst sadist ever. I'm curious as to what she stopped. Maybe she just stopped shouting Crookshanks.).

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" (Because thou art an idiot and hath not read any books besides Twilight!)

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden (Is this really the time to be daydreaming? I mean, Voldemort is friggin right there! I think she was just trying to remember who he was, since she just met him.). I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? (Shocking. That is exactly what Draco said in the last chapter you illiterate moron. Insulting her like Snape now are we? I must, it is my destiny!)

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun (A gun? Really. How about you use the wand you carry with you?! She's a muggle, she has no wand.). "No! Please!" I begged. (No, please! I wanted the shotgun! This is way too small! Thou must use this gun.)

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!" (Beloved? Get with the times, they just broke up. If he is on the grounds right now, can't he just go kill Harry? Nope, too difficult. The train wreck of a story demands the extra complicated way.)

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way. (Know what?)

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face (I want to see this. I will pay any money to see this. I feel like people should have this look all the time when they talk to her. And I will pay nothing to see this.). "I hath telekinesis (Ooh, moving objects with your mind. Still doesn't answer the question. I bet he means he moved the shades on the bedroom window to watch them. Ugh, so disturbing!)." he answered cruelly (How cruel, moving objects that wish to stay put). "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco (Actually, she doesn't. Can you make a note for her? She can't read, don't be stupid.)!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick (Flying angrily? Fascinating.).

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do (At least she is not sad and mad anymore. Why is she always so mad? She's a sadist, duh!). Suddenly Draco came into the woods (And then he defiled it!).

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!" (Awfully peppy for someone who was supposedly scared, mad and sad. I think she forgot because she has Dementia.)

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad (He is not sad, just his face.). He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit [No, no I don't]) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked. (Um, he just ran into a room of students naked. I wouldn't be okay after that. I wonder if he is still naked. Did he at least do Vampire first? Ah! The images, stop it!)

"No." he answered. (Well at least he's honest. No other explanation needed apparently.)

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled. (Cause I vomit my explanations also.)

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. (Guys, depression is hot. Low self-esteem makes everyone easy.)

Yeah, that wraps another amazing chapter. Tune in eventually later for another one probably. You are so confusing. Always.