A.N:
Insanity21: Can't explain too much but remember Shabriri lost his voice when he came to this world. Read this chapter to understand why he has no voice.
Chapter 8
As the family returned they were greeted to an empty home. Their friends were no longer there but they did leave a letter on the coffee table with their thoughts.
Guys
By the time you read this Casey and I will have returned home for the night. We found not what has been happening to Leo and after reading journal after journal of his misery we had to take a step away. We do not blame you for what has been happening but we think you should know that Leo stopped living and became a shell of him after the battle with the shredder but the trauma of what he went through before was what really pushed him away from you.
Read the journals and look in his room. Understand you brother and son more and see that he really just wanted to be seen as something useful rather than just the leader.
April
The family walked into Leo's room. Books were piled on his bed and the rug was pulled up in one corner. Splinter lit a candle and brought into the corner to fully understand his son. Splinter took a step back. The floor and rug were soaked in his son's blood. Each stain was darker than the rest meaning he has been doing this for days each month. The journals on the bed piled high it was going to be a long night.
Splinter wanted to read them himself to shield his sons from whatever was written in them but they all stood together and sat in a circle as Splinter read the first of many books.
Day 10
I've started to write down my thoughts as I cut myself so I can stop the voices in my head blaming me for what happened with the Shredder. I can't understand why this helps but with each passing day the voices and looks I get from my family grow heavier and heavier on my heart. The release of my own self releases the blame and anxiety built up in my system. As everything leaves I felt a euphoric sensation of weightlessness. No one bothers to ask if I am alright any more. The scroll that hangs in the dojo has been taken down and replaced by sensei because he needed the space for something else. No one objected so I didn't say anything. I loved that scroll but it looked like no one else cared.
At night when I didn't sleep I would stare at the ceiling and wonder why I was spared from Death once again. I think back to him and his children and wonder what would have happened if I stayed with them. I love my family with all my heart and that's why I stayed and I know they love me but at times like this I wonder if they love me as a son and brother or as a leader and protector.
I take this blade not to kill or to harm but to release all everything I feel at the moment. Let my voice never be heard but give me the strength to help those around me. Even if I die I will protect everyone even if I have nothing to say.
Day 34
The days grow longer and harder. I must hide myself in my room more and more but soon they will enter my world to destroy everything. I leave the place where no one wants me to another. It's colder but the world around me is smaller and I love it. I would stay here more but those in the other world need me so I have to live there. Each day the picture I create grows bigger and I love it. If he was still here I hope he would like it. With each cut I have let him understand that I stand here a lone with nothing by my side. His darkness continues to creep into my heart but the light from my family keeps him at bay. I love my family and the light and warmth of it but the cold darkness is starting to get to me. And I want it to.
I take this blade not to kill or to harm but to release all everything I feel at the moment. Let my voice never be heard but give me the strength to help those around me. Even if I die I will protect everyone even if I have nothing to say.
Day 104
Stop I hate it. Stop I hate it. I hate them. I hate myself. Stop them from hurting me. My mind can't take it. Take this blade from me because my life is in their hands. Let them hear my voice and plead with them to release my soul. Let everyone hear my voice.
Just let me go. Someone please just let me go.
Day 135
I drive this blade into my side and let it bleed. I drive the blade into my leg and let it bleed. Let it all bleed into the floor and mix with the others. Stain the floor so I can remember. Remember why I am here. Father if you can hear me why did you leave me alone. Take me away from here. I want to be loved. Who are you? Who am I? Oh, I remember my name.
Who's Leo. No I do not have a name. After all I am no one. But even a nobody needs someone.
Day 200
Long have I written my thoughts down. These books carry the weight of everything and everyone off my shoulders for a bit. I look at the old scars on my wrist and legs. I remember each cut. I remember it all. I will not die because I can't. That's my curse.
Brother, Sister I cannot move anymore. The chains that bind me are heavy and strong. The might from each of those around me decided I cannot leave. If only I could leave then all would be fine. Dear father if you release me from these chains will I be free? Or will something else chain me in place.
One day I want to be reborn as a bird. Something that can fly and soar, free to do as it pleased. But I know that shadows and darkness will be my only home. Insanity is one thing that people fear and hate but being sane is worse.
Goodbye to those who say they love me but really don't and to those who don't but want to. With no voice I plead to those who open their hearts to monsters as myself. Someday let the voiceless people be heard.
It took two days straight with Splinter reading each page to the remaining brothers but the words written made each and every one of them release that though they thought each of them had everyone's back it was Leo who really needed help. Everyone locked themselves in their rooms for the next week. When anyone left their rooms they could not look at each other. The pain from the oldest and each entry weighed heavily on their shoulders and hearts.
Their friends have not called or visited since that day. They feared that they were starting to lose them as will.
Days later Casey and April returned to talk to the family. Each sat together in the living room in a circle. The conversation went back and forth about Leo. No one knew how he was or rather how Shabriri was doing until they felt the temperature drop.
"Who's there?" April said shivering.
"Me" a child voice said.
"Me who?" said another.
"Come out you brats" Raph snarled.
Kage and Kei walked out from the shadows towards the family.
"Come one Raphie we just wanted to play a bit" Kei said.
"Don't call me that" Raph yelled.
"Whatever" Kei said rolling her eyes.
"What's with all the sad faces?" Kage asked.
"Yeah it looks like someone died." Kei said.
"Shut the hell up you brats. What are you doing here anyway!?" Raph roared.
Kei and Kage put their hands in the air.
"Just to give you some news." Kage said.
"Yeah right. You're just going to rub it in our faces about Leo. Forget you!" Raph spat.
"Raphael enough! Let them speak." Splinter ordered.
Raph went back to his seat and let the twins speak.
"Thanks Splinter" Kei said.
"We just wanted to know what's wrong with you guys." Kei said.
"What do you think? Leo's gone forever and after reading all his journals I don't blame him." Raph stated.
"Leo deserved more than us." Donnie said.
"True but I think you're leaving a big thing out." Kei said.
"What do you mean?" Mikey asked.
"True Leo is gone and he has been reborn as Shabriri to become the new fourth king of the underworld but there is more to that tale that we forgot to tell you." Kage said.
"Is there really more to the tale?" April asked.
"Yup. Every action has a reaction." Kei said proudly.
Everyone was confused by the twins banter.
"So what does that have to with Leo?" Casey asked.
"Are you a bone head or something?" Kei stated.
"Pretty much" Raph muttered crossing his arms against his chest.
The twins giggled.
"Both worlds are affected by the chose in one." Kage explained.
Everyone was still confused a bit but Splinter understood the twin's logic.
"Thank you, you too I wish you a safe journey back" Splinter said.
"Finally and here I thought we would have to spell the whole thing out to you." Kei exasperated.
The twins started to disappear back to their home but Raph jumped to stop them.
"You think I'm going to let you two go when I have more questions think again." Raph said pulling out his Sais.
Kage and Kei rolled their eyes and used their magic to freeze Raph in his place as they disappeared back home.
Raph falling to the ground looked towards Splinter for answers.
"Master, tell me what did they mean." Raph pleaded.
"My son I'll explain to all what the twins were trying to tell you." Splinter said.
Everyone gathered closer to hear Splinter explain the twins reasoning.
"Everyone the twins came to tell that once something happens in the underworld must happen in heaven. Meaning the life Leonardo gave to be reborn as Shabriri in the underworld happened in heaven in a different way. I do not know who different but it means Leonardo will be reborn there as well." Splinter explained.
"So will we ever see Leo again?" Mikey whimpered.
"I do not know my son but one day I hope to see him but with the happiness and joy he so rightful deserves." Splinter said.
Everyone looked up at the ceiling.
"Leo if you can hear me I hope you're happy now." Donnie said.
"Yeah I love that smile of yours so when you come back let every see that wonderful smile." April said.
"Yeah I can't wait until we meet again, hopeful under different circumstances." Casey joked.
"I know you can hear me my son. Let no one stop you as you grow up to be who you want to be rather than who others try to form you as." Splinter whispered.
"Leo" Mikey sniffled. "I want you to be happy even though you're not with us anymore. Laugh and be happy." Mikey cried out.
Mikey started to cry so Raph pulled him to his shoulder and let him cry there.
"Leo I know I don't say it a lot or at all but I want you to know I love you. You may not be here anymore but want you to know we love you. Not as a weapon, leader, or anything. Know that we love you like a brother. Please remember we love you as a brother more than anything." Raph muttered.
As the brothers, father, and friend said their last words to Leo they hope to reach him across town a miracle was happening.
A woman in the hospital was giving birth to her and her husband first child. They had trouble conceiving and when they found out they were pregnant the man and woman broke out in tears of joy. Each month was tough on the woman but she powered through until today. With her husband besides her holding her hand she continued to push out their child as a doctor and nurses around her gave her support.
"Come on ma'am one more push. We're almost done." The doctor said.
"Come on baby just one more." The husband said.
The husband pressed his head against his wife's sweaty forehead.
The woman pushed out one more time and breathed out heavily. The wife panted heavily as both of them listened in silence the cries of their child.
"It's a boy" the doctor said holding the child up for them to see.
"He's beautiful" the wife said.
"All you baby, it's because of all of you" the husband said.
The husband helped cut the cord and waited by his wife's side as the nurses took the boy aside to clean and wrap in a blanket.
"Here's your son" the nurse said in a gentle voice placing the newborn on his mother's chest.
The boy looked up at his mother and father with big blue eyes and a beautiful smile.
"He looks just like you." The husband whispered holding his son's little hand in his own while wiping tears from the corner of his eyes.
"A bit but he has your smile." The wife said smiling at her husband then back at their child.
The boys cooed and smiled at his parents again. The couple giggled again.
"Do you have a name?" the doctor asked.
The couple looked at each other and nodded their heads.
A nurse came over with a clipboard and pen in hand.
"What is it?" the nurse asked.
"Well Mr. Hatake do you want to say it?" the wife asked.
"You may have the honor Mrs. Hatake this is all you." The husband said.
"Together?" she asked.
The husband nodded his head looking at his newborn son,
"Together" he whispered.
Looking at their son and giving him and each other a kiss they looked at the nurse and said together.
"Leonardo"
