The It School
This Is How We Break The Law
Riz-I


A/N: Whoa. This one took a while. It's a little bit of inglorious filler. The next chapter will probably (probably) have more romantic stuff in it. This one is just satisfying my love of riddles. :) It also moved the storyline along a bit since I want to finish it the heck up already.


"Do you know the weight?"

No matter how quickly I tried to escape, Naruto and Sasuke (both at the back of the classroom) managed to beat me out of the classroom. "Yes."

"Then we go now."

"Now? It's a little… soon don't you think?"

"It's our only window of opportunity. Sarutobi's holding a whole school Assembly during the Free so Lady Luck won't be there watching us. We'll be marked down as Absent, but I've told Kakashi to deal with it. If we miss this chance… It's over."

"But Kakashi said he would get the files from inside the Office himself. Why are we suddenly not doing that anymore?

"The idiot put rohypnol in too… Sarutobi's doing an Assembly on the dangers of date rape and binge drinking- and he's given up drinking for the next year. We've had to rethink our strategy."

"Okay. Fine. Let's go."


As the three of us begin making our way through the crowd of people heading towards the Assembly Hall, Sasuke pulls out his phone and begins barking into it.

"You're sure?"

"40 seconds? That's all you can give me? What the hell is that? How are we supposed to get through everything in 40 seconds?"

"Yes I know it's Hyuuga Tech. That's why we asked you. You're sure it's only 40 seconds? WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT MIGHT ACTUALLY BE TWELVE?"

"And we get out through...? Yeah. Okay. Right. We're here."

"Is that Shino?" Naruto looks round nervously, making sure the corridor is indeed deserted.

"Yeah. He says we have 40 seconds." There is more than a hint of frustration in his tone. He runs his hands through his hair and I feel my loins bursting into flame at the dishevelled effect. WHOA THERE. Now is not the time.

"Sakura-chi, how much do you weigh?"

"You don't just ask a girl how much she weighs!"

Naruto lets out an exasperated groan. "Okay, okay! How much does Sarutobi weigh?" I hand him the piece of paper from Gaara. "Yes! Sasuke works out like a madman to make up for being so inferior to Itachi. OWWW!" He rubs the patch of head where Sasuke had just thumped him, "So he's roughly that weight. Everything's ago."

Sasuke's phone buzzes into life and he jabs down on the 'Answer' button. "So everything but the 5 passwords, weight and fingerprint scan are off? Yeah. Okay. When do we go?"

The corridor is so silent, even Naruto and I clearly heard the word as Shino says it. "NOW!"


Sasuke immediately steps onto the slightly raised slab in front of the heavy-set wooden door and a tiny, electronic pad slides out of the door. "Naruto! Hand!" Naruto procures from his bag a fake hand that makes me recoil a little at how realistic it looks. Sasuke presses it down on the pad and we watch as a blue light scans it. The pad then displays a series of keys. "Naruto! Passwords!"

"Brennan." Sasuke's fingers fly over the keypad.

"Gideon."

"Reid. Spelt 'ei' not 'ee'."

"Garcia."

"Grissom. That's it. What the hell is wrong Sarutobi? He just picked a load of random surnames for passwords?"

As the door lets out a soft hydraulic hiss and begins to swing open, Sasuke and I both throw Naruto disgusted looks. "That's like… the best crime solving line-up imaginable. Brennan from Bones. Gideon, Reid and Garcia from Criminal Minds. And Grissom from CSI."

"They're not real." He retorts, as we once more glance around nervously and then slip inside, pushing the door shut behind us.

"Just shut up and never speak to me again." Sasuke threatens. He gives me a small nod of approval. Weirdly, my stomach flips.

Okay, it's not so weird. We all know how little it takes for the shallow little skank inside me to take over...


Once inside, we find the room empty and undecorated save for a large computer on a very simple, glass and metal table at the back, in front of which was a single grey stool. "Wow. Sarutobi sure knows how to make a place feel homey." Naruto's voice has a hint of the hysterical about it.

I cannot believe we're in here. I cannot believe how many laws I have broken today… And the one I'm about to break is the worst. Okay- maybe covering up Sasame's murder was worse, but this is pretty close. "How am I supposed to do this is about ten seconds?"

"Huh?" Sasuke raises an eyebrow and looks at me as though I'm completely stupid. "You have as much time as you need. They don't put cameras in here and the forty seconds was just for the door's security features. We couldn't figure out how to forge an iris scan without actually stealing Sarutobi's eyeballs-"

"I told him to get Itachi to do it…"

"So we got Shino and his dad to take it down while we got in. For a price."

Naruto grins. "But that's not going to be a problem after today, is it?" I know he's like, a criminal and will probably land me in jail- but if we're in a mixed prison and I get to see his cute-ass smile everyday- It might be worth it.

Wait. What the hell is wrong with me? I am so unbelievably shallow! Who would consider going to jail just to see Naruto smile. My heart belongs to… Okay. Nobody.

"Sakura!"

"Huh?" I mumble dazedly.

"Get to work!"


The computer is already on and I only have to shake the mouse to bring the screen to life. "This is wasting so much energy." I complain.

"Just shut up and do what you're supposed to."

I click my way through a few things and finally arrive at the Folder we need. "Whoa."

On the screen are thousands upon thousands of folders, each labelled with the name of every single student ever to pass through these halls. I scroll down and find an entire backlog of the world's most powerful people. The entire Uchiha clan are Legacies here. Even Uchiha, Itachi has a designated file.

I click into the little Search box in the top right corner and type in what we need. Ne, Sai. The file appears almost instantly.

I double click.


SECURITY FEATURE ACTIVATED.


I type the instructions as Sasuke reads them from a sheet of paper.


USERNAME:

PASSWORD: ilikesexychicks_43va


"Seriously?" I raise an eyebrow as I type in the ridiculous password.

"Well, he was a student here. So he probably set it up then. Whatever. It's not like it matters."


HYUUGA-ABURAME SECURITY TECHNOLOGY


I begin wars and yet I end sorrow.

Without me, there is no wisdom but I lie at the heart of dimwits.

I am always in water, but never in oceans.


"It's a freshwater fish!"

I give Naruto an incredulous look. "Seriously, Naruto? Seriously?"


W


I hit enter.


PASSWORD ACCEPTED.


Only one colour but not one size.

Stuck at the bottom yet easily flies.

Present in sun but never in rain.

Does no harm.

Feels no pain.


Shadow


PASSWORD ACCEPTED.


What was the name of the man who invented the computer language COBOL and coined the term 'bug' in reference to devices used to listen in on private conversations?


"What the…? That's not even a riddle. How the hell is anyone supposed to know that?" Naruto sounds outraged, and he's right. But I'm not just 'anyone'. I'm Sakura Haruno. And I know the answer to this.

But there's something wrong with the question.

"The person who invented COBOL was called Grace Murray Hopper."

"Wow. He must have had a hard time brushing off the gay jokes."

"That's the thing. He was a she."

"Huh?"

Suddenly, Sasuke leans over me and begins typing frenziedly.


It was a woman


PASSWORD ACCEPTED.


Joe and Brenda are married. Joe pushes Brenda to edge over. Brenda shoves Joe over the edge. How do they save their marriage?


I am stumped.

Like… honestly. What?

"So, what's the answer?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean, Sasuke, that I have absolutely no freaking idea."

This announcement is greeted by deafening silence.

"Shino said if we get it wrong, even once, the entire system as well the room goes into lockdown."

More silence.

Sasuke exhales exasperatedly and begins pacing. Naruto leans over me and reads the question again. "Naruto! Quit breathing down my neck."

He backs away.

Something about the question is niggling the back of my brain. I know that usually, I would remember. I always do… But too much shit has happened today.

Wait.

Think backwards.

English. Gaara. Ino. Itachi.

The little capsule he so creatively passed on to me!

When push comes to shove, have you ever thought to PULL?


Pull


PASSWORD ACCEPTED.


ACCESS GRANTED.


SUBJECT: SAI NE


"I'm in!" The U-Brothers rush over to the screen.

"YES!" Naruto does a delighted fist pump.

What Sasuke does is the most shocking. He pulls me out of my chair, wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into a toe-curling kiss. "I love you, Haruno. Now come on. Download it and let's get the heck up out of here."

"As delightful as that sounds, I think I may have to stop you."

All three of us freeze and turn around on the spot. Naruto comically frozen mid-pump. Tsunade stands between us and the door.

"There is no way you weigh less than 60kg." I burble.

Her face darkens instantly. Oh shit.

That was not the right thing to say…


A/N: Review :) P.S. For those of you who don't get the 'push, shove, pull' one, it's based on something a friend of mine once said to me that after she 'pulled' and made out with a random stranger at a party and her boyfriend found out, he became more interested in her than ever before and quit trying to push her away. I'm NOT SAYING that's the way to go, and her and her boyfriend split up soon after... but the riddle was basically hinting at an affair. :')