1999

He stood on the tree limb looking in the window to see if she was awake. She liked to sleep, and they did get in at four am, but he couldn't leave without saying goodbye. He had to see her again in the light of day, just to tell her he would always think of her.

He watched her roll over and then he rapped softly on the window.

She rolled back over and was startled for a moment, but then she put one finger up and got out of bed. She walked over to the window and opened it to him like she had done so many nights through the years. He was still hesitant, and this was going to be hard.

"Come in, Its ok." She said.

He shook his head. "I can't Merle's waiting in the truck, we're going."

"And I was hoping you were stopping by for a quickie." She laughed and his face turned red. He hadn't expected her to bring that up, and half of him wanted just that.

She was such a smartass all the time that he didn't know if she was serious. He gulped and almost lost his balance and fell out of the tree.

"Merle can wait." She said. "Come in."

He stepped through the window, waving to Merle that he would be down soon. Merle got out of the car and leaned against it lighting a cigarette.

"I just wanted to say goodbye, I don't know…"

She put her hand up. "Don't, I told Merle not to tell you I was there last night."

"Well, there was no way I could forget, Carol." He went to hug her and she allowed him to. It felt good and different now after the night before. "I won't ever forget."

He wanted her again, desperately. She was warm and he wanted to lay down in that bed with her and make love to her again.

"You have to, ok. You told me yourself there's shit going down and you can't afford to be thinking of me. I'll be mad if you do. So don't. Worry about keeping your head down. Don't call me, and don't write."

He pulled her closer. "Then this is it?"

She nodded as he ran his fingers through her hair. He wanted to memorize her smell and he breathed her in and never forget how good she felt.

"Just get out while you can, this was what you wanted since Merle went in, last night doesn't change that and I'm not sorry." She said. "So go. And make a good life."

"I'll be back one day." He said.

"When we're old and gray and thirty, now go." She hugged him tight. She wanted to tell him to stay and it was the hardest thing she had ever done to not do that.

She knew this boy, if he thought she was waiting for him, he wouldn't be able to concentrate, that was a risk she didn't want to take. So she gave him another hug and watched him go out the window and climb back down the tree.

She waved good bye to Merle too and he waved back to her.

"See ya Peaches." He called to her.

"See ya." She called out the window.

Disarm you with a smile and leave you like they left me here. To wither in denial.

The bitterness of one who's left alone, oh the years burn.

33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

Carol had just come home from walking around the neighborhood with Sophia in the stroller that day. When she turned on the TV and set to make breakfast for them both, she was pierced with incredible fear as she watched what happened. It was a knife through her heart and so unbelievable. It couldn't be true.

Not on that day, it was too perfect of a day, she was off from work and had the whole day with Sophia planned.

It was a beautiful outside, she would always remember how clear the sky was and how fluffy the clouds were. It wasn't supposed to happen; how could it have happened.

It like any other fall day and before it was over not only would she be different than she was, the whole country would be. She was making pancakes for Sophia, years later she would remember that, but then again she remembered every moment of the day.

Carol spent the day walking around like a zombie while her parents were calling relatives that lived there, people they knew who were in the buildings. She had someone to worry about to, in fact two people and that's where her thoughts went immediately. Daryl, where was he? Where was Merle?

He had done as she asked and not called or written and now she realized she wanted him to

She watched in shock as the news reported what had happened September 11th 2001. Being in Georgia didn't make her immune, her cousin worked in tower two.

The wouldn't find out until the next day that he had survived by not going back to his desk when he was told to. They gave the all clear and Jimmy said that he and his workers were getting out, that decision saved him and twenty of his co-workers.

Carol knew they were going to war now and somehow she knew; he would be there. She spent the day on the couch holding Sophia and watching the news as if somehow that would give her a clue as to where he was.