Fifty Ways to Annoy the Soutaicho

Pipadae

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Nor do I own this idea. It was all Kirani56's idea, and I'll love her forever for letting me use it in Bleach. In fact, if you love Danny Phantom, you should go read 52 Ways to Annoy Vlad. It's fantastic. (:


8. Convince him Kenpachi switched to Aizen's side.

Honestly, it hadn't been that hard to convince Kenpachi to play along with the act. The man fully supported Ichigo's and Renji's little escapades, and was more than willing to help. Besides, Ichigo had promised that the eleventh squad captain could fight him for a bit it he agreed to assist. A winning sell there.

Yamamoto was drinking tea with his vice-captain when he heard the cackles. He sighed. Not this again. He poked his head outside his window, fully expecting to see either the vice-captain of the sixth squad or the substitute shinigami from Karakura doing something incredibly irritating and stupid. But the soutaicho was completely surprised by the sight outside.

Kenpachi Zaraki stood on top of Soukyoku Hill. He had discarded his usual shihakushou and haori for the white hakama and jacket of an arrancar. He stood, laughing maniacally, arms outstretched, head thrown back. At his feet lay the defeated forms of two shinigami, both appearing to be dead. "Come and fight me!" he yelled to the heavens, rocking some nearby buildings with the force of his reiatsu.

Yamamoto could only stare. Zaraki…why? This couldn't be happening. Zaraki was the captain with the greatest reiatsu and most brute force. Even if he couldn't even access his shikai or use kidou to save his life, the amount of spiritual pressure the man exuded unconsciously was enough to take out a low level shinigami, and his skill with a sword was not to be underestimated. Such a powerful fighter turning traitor was a devastating blow to the Gotei 13, not to mention an extreme disgrace. And who were the two he had already killed? The old man squinted hard. It was…Abarai and Kurosaki? That couldn't be good. Both were strong fighters, and were very important in the upcoming war. The boy, after all, was their only hope against Aizen's shikai. He couldn't be dead, not now…but wait.

The old man nearly facepalmed. Why didn't he realize it at first? It was Abarai and Kurosaki, for the love of Menos. Another stupid practical joke. He reminded himself to punish all three of them later, then went back to his tea.


As I wrote this, I realized the timing on many of these chapters is terribly uncanon. In other words, when the heck did Ichigo go to Soul Society during the Arrancar/Hueco Mundo arcs? Never. But shh. Pretend my little time problems here don't exist, k?

And, because I am a shameless author, and I feel its not getting enough love, I encourage you to go read my other current Bleach fanfic, The Beast Within. Heh.

Now, review!

PS I nearly died when I opened my email the other day and I had nearly forty emails from fanfic. I love you guys so much for that.