Thank you so much for your reviews, especially Narwhayley – should've thanked you long ago, sorry it took me so long. It's so good to see you guys like my story… really. Thank you all!

Fallen brother, he's a fallen husband, he's
about to be woken in his hospital bed.
He doesn't want to rest, just wants to run, and he's
tired of being told that he's the lucky one.
War at home, Josh Groban

Gina's hands shivered as she shoved away the next files. They landed violently on the wobbly pile, causing it to collapse. Pictures and data copies sailed through the air and then landed on the floor. Beth was clever enough not to say a word as her younger colleague bowed down with a sigh and started rearranging the papers, muttering curses under her breath.
They were looking through the dead snpiers' lives for hours now, and so far they had found no more connections than the obvious ones. Military academy, war places, therapy centers. Cemetery. The oldest victim, James Donnaghue, had started his training in 1973. He had fought in Afghanistan, Iraq, and somewhere else – but that part of the curriculum vitae had been blackened. But whatever it had been, it had cost him a leg, and since 1998 he had been a trainer for the SAS.
The same year Mick had joined the academy, but that didn't mean anything. There were hundreds of candidates every year, most of them men from the 21st and 23rd Regiment. Mick, as it seemed, had come directly from his duty with the British forces – three years, that was the necessary time to be allowed to get to the SAS. Mick was born in 1977, which meant her had joined the forces at the age of sixteen. Three years there, then four years in Hereford. His first mission had been during his training time, that seemed to be the reason why he had needed one and a half year more than the average soldier. Northern Ireland, Iceland, Iraq, Kuwait – who knew where Mick and Cooper had "bumped into each other". Anyways it hadn't been a happy place.

"Gina? You're okay?" Beth knelt down beside the young woman, wondering what she would do if Gina decided to cry. She looked as if she would, sooner or later, and though Beth was terrified of the prospect of comforting her – hell, how do you console a girl who fears for the life of a man who's a living target and couldn't care less for it? Generally, how do you console people? – she understood it. They were used to file through the lives of psychopaths, and of victims – families, students… civilians. It was an entirely different thing to go through the life of a soldier.
"I'm just wondering" Gina whispered, her eyes dry, "with all those people have lived through, with all they… did… how comes they die so easily?"
"What do you mean, easily?" Beth frowned. "They were shot by a sniper, what do you want to do against that? Come on, you've ever seen Mick shooting at something with that rifle? You can't fight against it, it's just a bang and…" She stopped herself, but it was too late.
Lips pressed together tightly, Gina turned away and kept collecting the files.

Beth shook her head. Why on earth had she just said that?
"Gina, I'm sorry, it's just…"
"It's just I wonder if they really got over their paranoia, Beth. It's like you said" she stood up, her eyes burning now, "we know Mick. He is paranoid, he sees enemies and threats everywhere. You can't switch that off once you've retired, it's in you! And I really doubt that so many SAS experts, whatever they might be trained at, can start to trust people again. They always will build a wall between them and the world, because they're afraid they might get hurt." Her voice was bitter now, and Beth needn't have to be a profiler to know whom her friend was just talking about.

"I wonder if… for some of them…" Gina closed her eyes "maybe it was a relief."
"You think they knew they were followed and just let it happen?"
"I've heard about it from my father's old friends. Sometimes when they would have a veteran's meeting in our house. They stayed till the morning, drinking, laughing, talking… being so loud I couldn't sleep. So I started to sit on the stairs and listen to their stories. I learned to recognize the voices… they got less and less every year. Cancer, car accident. Hunting accident. They all were loudly lamented, and my dad toasted them. Till it came to Sergeant Robert Smith." Gina's voice got slower as she continued her journey back, and Beth moved closer to understand her words.
"One of the men asked what had happened to him and… he got no answer. They fell silent, for longer than they ever had been. I almost went to bed, happy they would let me sleep for once, but then my father spoke. He said Robert had… chosen to leave them. Them, his family, and the world he had promised to make better. And one of his closest friends, Tom, he said… he said maybe that was the best way to make it better: shoving himself off the earth so he wouldn't stand in the way of loyal and brave people like them." She swallowed. "I had known Tom since I was born, I loved him. But after that it was never the same. I couldn't look into his eyes anymore, I couldn't be in one room alone with him. Sometimes I think that's one of the reason dad loves Danielle more than me. She never had a problem with Tom.
Well" she cleared her throat and looked up, her eyes widening at Beth's sudden closeness.

Beth quickly backed away. "I see" she said, not sure what to say. Maybe Gina hadn't fallen for Mick because she wanted to save him but because she was just as broken and traumatized as he was.
"So…"
"So maybe" Gina declared fiercely, "these people saw it coming and didn't stop it. Maybe it was a way to be rid of their life without losing their honor through suicide."
"Losing their… oh come on, Gina, you can't care for honor if you're dead!"
"But the shame echoes down on their families."
"Who of them had family?" Beth asked desperately. She knew where this was going to. If the victims had wanted to die, maybe Mick would want to die, too. That was the thing Gina dreaded more than anything, and if she hang on to it, it would very soon drive her crazy. Crazy enough maybe to follow Mick's example and run away.

"Sorry to interrupt" Prophet entered the room, even paler than usual, another bunch of files in his hand. Beth had never been as happy to see her colleague. She wasn't a good babysitter.
"What do you got?"
"Well… I wouldn't say they had no families." He made his way through the half-cleared mess and put the files onto the table, looking at nobody. Beth's relief mingled with worry again as she saw her stoic colleague's hands shake slightly.

"I checked up Elise Brooks, but… I quickly ended up with nothing. The police has her file now, they will talk to her parents, she's not related to this except for the bullet."
Beth chuckled. "Alright."
"But" Prophet pointed out, "I have checked up on Ava McLeary, too. She had a family, back at Wales and here in Texas. She was married to a Max Walters, a farmer, but they got divorced two years ago. Their two sons stayed with her, but fortunately they were with Walters at the time she got killed."
"Chance or calculation?" Gina murmured, and Prophet shrugged.
"Whatever it was… the interesting part comes now: the elder son was adopted. "
Beth grinned. "Yeah. What a bad and cruel and British thing to do, simply adopting a child."

As usually, her irony dripped off. Whatever was bugging Prophet, he wasn't yet ready to let it out. For a brief moment Beth wondered if maybe Prophet was the best in keeping a protective wall between himself and the world. Hell, and she couldn't blame him.
Who'd ever thought she'd be the most normal one in a team? Gotta love those guys.

"Only by the father. Ava was his biological mother. She gave birth to him in Texas in 2003,where she moved to after her fiancé Matt Austen was killed in Fallujah. Matt Austen was in Mick's troop."

Beth nodded slowly. "So there could be a connection…"
"There is" Gina interrupted her, "Matt's fiancée got killed, maybe his son is the next. We need to warn Max Walter!"
"Because the man his ex-wife was engaged to maybe was a friend of an FBI-agent? Do you realize how that sounds?"
"Alright, but there's got to be something to it" Gina cried.
Beth frowned. "Talking 'bout paranoia."

Prophet shrugged. "Anyway, Ava had more relations to Mick. She also was his colonel's goddaughter, but the really interesting part comes now…"
"Again?" Beth couldn't help to throw in, and much to her relief she saw Gina smile.

Prophet shook his head. "It's serious now. I found out things about Mick I'm not even sure Cooper knows." He could no longer retain his mask of calmness, and the women both straightened up and moved to business mode. The only person knowing more about Mick than Cooper was his sister Jenna – Mick himself didn't know himself as well as Cooper did.
But Prophet wasn't one to boast, and the bad conscience was written on his forehead. He hated invading other's private life, as, actually, they all did.

Gina swallowed, her eagerness to run after the killer suddenly gone. "Do we really need to know all this?"
Before she could think about it Beth put her arm around Gina's shoulder. If they found out more than Mick wanted them to know, dramatically more, he would never forgive them. It would end their friendship, their working together, it would probably even end Mick's being in the US. Hell, he still had no American passport.
"It's about this Leah, isn't it?" Now her voice was even more hurt, and again, Beth knew why.

Prophet didn't answer, his expression hardened again. He looked a bit crazy… crazy and dark enough that even Gina seemed to forget about her problem. Whatever was happening here was much bigger than they had thought, and if it had carried away Prophet… none of them would get out safe.

Sam entered the room. "What's the matter, Prophet?" He was very serious.
Prophet nodded slowly. "I found out something about… Leah Owen. I thought if one of us knew, we all should."
Cooper frowned. "What is it?"

It was half past two pm. Leah was eighteen minutes late.
Mick leant in the shadows of dustbins in a driveway next to the coffee shop. Something had happened. His heartbeat was slow and controlled, as was his breathing rhythm, but his thoughts were running wildly in circles.
Something had happened. He had been so fixated on the thought of him being the next victim that he had managed not to think about the alternatives. It could be anyone.
It could be Leah.

Twenty to three. Mick pushed off the wall and made a step towards the coffee shop. Maybe everything was okay. Maybe Leah was just as paranoid as he was, and was waiting somewhere else for him. It was too positive a thought for him, but he knew he stood no chance in finding this guy alone. No matter what he had told Coop. The stalker was as good as him, if not better. On his own he would never catch him.

Five to three. He was losing time, time he had not to waste – it wouldn't take long till the team found out he was missing, and he wasn't sure how long he could hide from them. Four days, one week. He could not avoid every camera on his way.
Somewhere behind him, it clicked. Just a moment, and so low that normally Mick wouldn't be sure if it was just an imagination.
Now, he sighed in relief. "You're getting old, Lee" he called over his shoulder.

"Funny" she replied, much closer than he had expected. "I was about to tell you the same. You still got a keen tongue, Rawson."
Mick laughed as he finally turned around to face her. She still was beautiful. Small, slim, long brunette hair. Deep blue eyes, staring him down challengingly. That had changed. The last time Mick had seen her, her eyes had been almost broken, flat and hopeless. He hated that sight, so much that he had turned around and fled. Well, it hadn't been the only reason.
It was good to see her eyes alive again, they seemed far more familiar now.

Leah smiled, looking him up and down as he did. "You look good" she said casually.
It didn't happen very often that Mick Rawson was speechless, but he was now. How do you greet someone you went through heaven and hell with? And then left.
Finally, he smiled back. "You too."

Leah bit back the tears that started in her throat, but she was sure Mick saw them anyway. Maybe she should kill him now – alone to keep her dignity intact.

After three minutes of embarrassed smiling at each other, Mick turned back again and looked at the coffee shop. "Still in for some caffeine?"
Leah stepped next to him, her shoulder casually touching his. "You've never been in a Starbucks before."
"Given. What betrayed me?"
"That you really think you will get some caffeine there." Smirking, Leah passed her former colleague and stepped out into the sun.
Mick hesitated only for a second – to check if everything was clear around - before he followed her. It was disappointing how stupid they still were, like the teenagers they never had been.
They stopped in front of the café. Inside were about sixty people, trying to find place in the room built for about forty.
Leah bit her lips not to smirk again. She knew that if she would mock him too much, Mick would see through it and find the fear and sadness inside her. Or maybe he had seen it already but shied away of really finding out the reasons.

Mick nodded. "Anywhere else?"
"Anywhere. How much time do we have?"
He sighed, and again checked the surroundings. Their being together meant doubling the danger.
"Not much."
"Tell me something I don't know!" She couldn't help it. Mick Rawson was easily the most annoying person she had ever met. And he knew her too well.

Mick looked at her, very serious now. "What's wrong, Leah?" His voice was as gentle as normally only Jenna got to hear.
Leah shook her head. "Let's get the hell away from here, I'm burning."

Nobody stopped Gina as she stormed out of the room, crying.
Prophet had done what he had to, and now he was standing there just like a statue, waiting for instructions.

It took Beth only one quick look to see Cooper was devastated. Not because Mick hadn't trust him on this one, Beth knew him well enough for that. Sam Cooper wasn't like that. He trusted Mick with everything but had accepted that this trust wasn't paid back in the same way. He had offered him a friendship without knowing how much it would mean for both of them. Ever since then in Fallujah, they had been friends, and Mick had saved his life just as often as Cooper had saved his. They had talked for days, drunk for nights. They were brothers for a lifetime.

Cooper wasn't at the edge of crying because Mick hadn't confided in him. He was at the edge of crying because his heart was too big and the story too sad, and even though they all had seen things so much more cruel – this was happening to one of them. To his best friend, and he could do nothing.

"I'm sorry" Prophet murmured eventually, "I'm so sorry."
"You don't have to" Beth shot back automatically, "how could you know?"
"Well" the agent's voice was bitter, "I guess I should've realized it. I'm old enough for seeing such things." The bitterness in his voice was topped only by the self-contempt that was running through his body, causing his hands to go in fists. "I led her straight to him."

Beth bit her lips. She wanted to help Prophet, but from all she knew about herself, words weren't her thing. Maybe she should try the arm-thing again.
Slowly she moved over to the man and sat down next to him, not quite daring to actually touch him. It must be hard on him, he had seemed so happy this morning.
Beth chuckled drily. Had it really been only five hours ago? Once they got Mick back she would kick his British ass till he cried, and then kick him harder.

Once they got him back. If they got him back.

"Alright, let's think this through." Cooper had regained control over himself. For him, it was clear, there was no "if". They would get Mick back.

"Beth…"
"Anything!" she blurted out without thinking, causing Prophet to smile sadly.
But it was true. Right now, she would do anything to help Sam… or to get away from his deep, beautiful, sad eyes.

Sam smiled, too. "Please get Gina. I know this is hard for all of us but we need to think about what's happening next." And I need some minutes alone with Prophet.
He didn't say it but Beth understood. Quickly she left for the women's restrooms, praying that Gina hadn't chosen to leave the team as well and try to beat the hell out of Leah Kate Owen on her own.

More lies about a world that
never was and never will be
have you no shame? Don't you see me?
You know you've got everybody fooled

Everybody's fool, Evanescence