It had been almost a week and a half since Ayu-nee had 'mysteriously' left. Not only did Takara miss Ayu-nee's cooking, she missed talking to the cook as well.
Unfortunately, their last conversation had ended on a cold note, and she made it a point to apologise to Ayu-nee immediately when the older woman got back.
Shinpachi had been feeding the Shinsengumi during the absence of their original cook, and all they got everyday were Nagakura's special boiled vegetables. If not, it was either fried or steamed. It wasn't that Shinpachi's cooking was inedible, Takara had to admit his skills had improved. However, everyone was pretty much sick of the lack of variety in the meals, even Sanosuke. Of course not that anyone dared to voice it out.
The kitchen, which used to be such a vibrant place before, was now cold and empty. When Ayu-nee had been around, the comedic trio would never fail to barge into her kitchen looking for whatever food they could find. It would be one big hassle where she would try to stop those jokers from finishing everything. The comedic trio still joked around, trying to liven the atmosphere, but they weren't oblivious to their surroundings. They were all the same, their eyes duller than before, furrowed with worry about their favourite cook.
Even the page-boy quietened down, doing his chores silently and lifelessly. Once or twice he had questioned Susumu of Ayu-nee's whereabouts, only to get shot back down with a cold answer.The shinobi, on the other hand, was just as cold and indifferent as he ever was. He seemed the least concerned despite the fact that she was his own sister. If he was worried, he concealed his feelings from the rest of the Shinsengumi very well. Occasionally however, Takara had caught him staring out into the rain, as if yearning to see Ayu-nee come back.
The weather the past few days seemed to express the depressing mood of the Shinsengumi, as well. The air was dense and humid, the raindrops falling heavily and continuously. With everyone hidden away in their rooms, the Shinsengumi looked like an abandoned building, silent and dead.
Takara had woken up to the same miserable weather that greeted them everyday. She forced herself out of the comforts of her own blanket, the cool weather merely making her want to sleep even longer. However, her unit was on patrol that morning, and she dreaded the day even more.
After freshening up slightly, she walked to the hall to pick up her haori, only to find it still hanging on the clothesline, damp.
'Great.' Takara muttered, feeling the damp cloth between her fingers. None of the other haori's fit her as they were all much too big for her size.
Eventually she decided to borrow Shinpachi's haori, as he was the only one who was only a tad taller. She slid the cardboard door open when she found his room, letting the sunlight stream down on the second unit captain whom she assumed to still be sleeping. Takara reached into his cupboard, taking out the light blue haori.
'What's wrong with yours? Not dried out yet?'
She turned round to see Shinpachi lying on his stomach, his head rested on hands, looking up at her.
'Yea. Sorry. I thought you were sleeping or I would've asked you first.' She replied, shrugging.
'Alright. Just make sure it's freshly washed and dried when I get it back. I don't want it to be smelling like you.'
'What! I don't stink like the rest of you guys.'
'Shmure Shmure.' Came the muffled reply.
'You really going to be patrolling in such weather?' Takara heard him ask again just before she was going to leave his room.
'I don't have much of a choice do I?' She laughed. 'Unless you want to do it for me.'
Shinpachi merely replied with a yawn.
-
The fourth unit trudged through the heavy falling rain, their heads held high despite being drenched by the awful weather.
Takara felt every drop of rain beat onto her (or rather Shinpachi's) light blue haori, turning it a darker shade of blue. The rain made her hair wet, causing it to stick to her face and the droplets of water on her eyelashes blurred her vision. Suddenly she realised that if she had taken her own damp haori, she would have returned to the headquarters in the same condition anyway. Drenched.
She hated the feeling of the layers of soaked cloth weighing heavily down on her body and the wetness making her feel even colder. All the ladies around were clad in dry kimonos, carrying flowery bamboo umbrellas to shelter them from the rain. Takara had a right to be holding an umbrella at the moment, to shelter herself as well. However, the thought of a squad of Shinsengumi members carrying flowery bamboo umbrellas, it was ridiculous.
Once or twice, the unit pushed open the doors of local teashops, looking out for any suspicious characters, only to be met with surprised and stunned eyes staring back at them. It turned out the only 'suspicious' characters around were the Shinsengumi themselves.
It took Takara almost an hour of patrolling in the rain until she finally decided to call it a day. With their haoris soaking wet, the fourth unit made a stop at the nearest tea house. Takara ran to the entrance of the teahouse and shook herself as dry as she possibly could before pulling the curtains open. The warmth from the tea and food made her feel much better from the cold clothes sticking to her body, despite the cold glares that they received when they entered. The fourth unit was relatively small, and they merely took up a maximum of three tables of around 6.
They motioned to the innkeeper and placed their orders for anything to warm them up.The other customers in the teahouse had either left the place, or continued with their previous conversations, trying to hide their uncomfortability of the presence of the Shinsengumi. Takara tried to ignore the strange stares some of the others had given her, as she acted oblivious to the comments they were passing.
'What's a chibi doing leading a unit?'
'Who's the kid?'
She rolled her eyes and was thankfully distracted by the sight of the waiteress approaching with her tea. The murmuring around her soon grew louder as the others got more caught up in their own conversations. However, a particular conversation caught her ear and her eyes immediately darted up in alert, looking at two men at the table nearby who were talking.
'Didn't you hear? They were laughing about it all the way, mocking her. The pretty hairdresser that attended to them. I heard they did her pretty badly.'
'Well they deserve it. Those cheap ones who just go sleeping around with..'
The second man hadn't completed his sentence before someone grabbed his yukata in the front and jerked him up. He let out a few curses in shock before he found himself looking up into a pair of dark and very angry, brown eyes. The sight of the white headband and the light blue and white haori were like warning signals which immediately made him feel as if his knees had gone weak.
Takara had grabbed him with one arm and snarled at him. 'How dare you! You low down worm! Where are these men now? Where have they taken her?'
The man waved his arms in defence, panicking and stuttering.
'I d..don't know.. I just heard.. heard them. They were t..talking at the top of their voices about.. what.. what they had done.'
She let go of him in fury, thrusting him roughly back into his seat. He immediately bowed his head down, trembling in fear. Takara walked back to her table and picked up her katana that she had set down.
'We're going to Masuya. To find Ayu-nee.'
'Captain..' One of her fellow squadmates called out after her. 'We can't go there without any permission. We have to inform the headquarters first.'
Takara stopped in her tracks and breathed out in exasperation. She knew what he had said was right. They had no right to just barge into Masuya to look for Ayu-nee. Not only would they be disobeying the rules, it would mess up the plans the Shinsengumi. Hijikata-san would not tolerate such unreasonable actions and it only meant seppuku for them.
'You're right.' She admitted bitterly. 'We'll head back to the headquarters and see what we can do then.'
Not forgetting to pay for the food and drinks, she took out a sack of coins, worth slightly more than enough for what they had bought.
'Keep the change.' She said, tossing it to the shopkeeper before walking briskly out of the teahouse with the rest of the squad behind her. She could feel panic rising in her as her thoughts ran wild, the different scenarios of what could have happened to their cook, popping up randomly in her head.
Please Ayu-nee, please be safe.
-
The Shinsengumi was in a chaotic rush. Whatever available men left, namely the 2nd and 10th squad, were dressed in their uniforms, grabbing weapons and banners.
'Is that all the reinforces we have!' Cursed an angry Sanosuke, his spear resting on his shoulder.
'The fourth unit is out on patrol sir!'
'Forget it Sano. We'll head out first. Heisuke's staying back to to inform the commanders when they get back.' Shinpachi said, before yelling out to the rest. 'Alright! Let's go! And remember that we've got to find her as quickly as possible!' 'Before anything happens to her.' He added under his breath.
'Yes Sir!' The two units chorused in unison, their expression hard and determined to find her.
Shinpachi and Sanosuke led the squads out, breaking into a slow sprint with the Shinsengumi banners raised.
Tetsunosuke watched in the background, gripping the wooden pillar until his knuckles were turning white. He felt his chest had knotted up, ever since that man had arrived minutes go, informing them of a group or ronin carrying a lady beaten up. His gut feeling immediately told him it was Ayu-nee. And for once, he wished his feeling was wrong. Apparently the rest of the Shinsengumi had thought the same way, and swiftly made preparations to look for her. All of them were worried. All except one.
Her very own brother sat calmly in the comforts of his room, his face clear of any lines of worry. The thought made Tetsunosuke sick. The callused, cold-hearted shinobi, how could he not even care about his own sister? The page quickened his pace to Susumu's room, throwing himself at the shinobi and grabbing his kimono in fury.
'Why aren't you looking for her? Aren't you even upset or worried for your own sister?' The redhead spat out angrily.
Susumu towered over him, and clamped his hand around Tetsunosuke's throat. There was a long silence as the shinobi's hand trembled as he tried to stop himself from strangling the page.
'Why..' Susumu looked up angrily for once, at the page that he held above the ground. 'Why is it you always make me feel so angry.. I've never lost my temper.. Until you came along...' His normally calm voice now raised a notch, his tone sharp and furious.
Susumu seemed to be fighting an inner conflict, as held the page by the neck trying his best to control his temper
Tears began to brim in the page's eyes and he finally broke down, not in fear for himself, but fear for Ayu-nee. 'Please..' he cried, 'You can hit me, or do whatever you want. But please go look for Ayu-nee now. A man said he saw some ronin carrying a bruised and battered woman. I know it's her.' Tetsunosuke tightened his grip on the older boy's wrist. 'Please go look for her!'
Susumu expression flickered for a moment before he released the page. Instead, he turned his back to the redhead and walked out of the room.
'Why should I? Why don't you go look for her. I'm sure she'd be happier to see you than me.'
At his comment, Tetsunosuke lashed out at him, grabbing him by his kimono again and pulling him onto the ground in the rain. He sat on the shinobi and raised a clenched fist, as if threatening to hit the stunned spy. Instead, the page began to sob and lowered his fist.
'You know what she told me? She told me to look after you! She told me to teach you things that you would never learn, she told me to teach you how to enjoy life! That's what she said before she left!'
Susumu lay on the ground, the rain drenching his kimono and the drops falling straight on his face. But he was numbed to the coldness or the feelings of the raindrops. Every word the page said only made him realise what he should do, as the memories of Ayumu flashed past his eyes. Tetsunosuke got off the shinobi slowly, regaining a control of himself. He turned to give Susumu a final glance before running off after the 2nd and 10th squad in search for Ayu-nee.
Susumu sat up in the rain, his mind in a whirl. He shut his eyes tight for a while before he got up to his room.
-
Susumu..
In the rain, a shinobi clad in black raced on, leaping from on rooftop to another, his black shawl billowing in the wind.
What kind of face is that?
What kind of ninja laughs and cries all the time?
He fell buried in his own thoughts, oblivious to his surroundings as they passed him in a blur.
How can you still say, 'I'm scared' or 'I'm embarrassed'?
Forget those things right now.
Kept inside, maybe. But never forgotten. Susumu never forgot anything. He kept it within him, hardened his heart and covered his emotions with a mask, often pretending everything was alright. Was it alright now?
No one's going to help you.
You have to survive on your own.
You're not a samurai, you're a ninja.
There was no one. He was alone. Ninjas needed nobody, but now she needed him.
Do not think of me as your sister,
I do no think of you as my brother.
Yet she was the one, the one who created the distance between them. She taught him to be cold and emotionless.
Listen, when you get older,
you will dress up as I do, and go to work.
Susumu felt as if he was snapped back to reality, the slippery roof tile causing him to lose his footing. He landed on the top of the roof and buried his face in his arms. His breath was short and heavy, his shoulders moving up and down with each raggard breath.
Then even if you make mistakes every day,
Even if I die,
Suddenly he found his emotions once again, worry and anxiety that caused such a searing pain inside of him. Something that had been buried for years, finally came back to haunt him in the worst way possible.
You'll survive.
-
