On his chest my brain was filled with the sound of his beating heart. I listened to it hit and pound against his breast bone and the sound that called me beckoned me closer and closer and when my head could go no further my hands took over. I drew little paterns on his skin and in calligraphy wrote all over "I love you."

And when my fingers would pause he'd take up the mantel and run his own through my hair. But his other hand wasn't still. He used it to rub my back and pull me closer while his lips kissed my temple and my arms wrapped around his middle and the tips of his fingers followed the path my hair laid out against my arm.

This was the resting period, after the initial romp and before the next, where we would look into each others eyes that shined from the moon coming in through the window. While his fingers began a journey across my face I used my eyes to work paint across his features. I memorized his beautiful mug filled with new bruises and scars that always seemed to make him look even better.

"How long?" I asked, not wanting to elaborate. I didn't want to put it out in the air my real question: how long will you be mine?

He let out a heavy sigh that showed how annoyed he was to answer that question, right now, but I needed to know. He dropped his hand and his eyes onto my mouth as he answered, "Til morning..I've got Sammy waiting in some cheap motel for me to come back an-"

I couldn't look at him anymore. I pushed his hand away by turning my face inward and trying not to cry. I didn't want to ruin our limited time but crap, it was only eight hours. I felt his arms get tense and his shoulder move under my face which meant he was going to do something, to break me.

"Lori...tell me," he whispered, his hands snaking through my wall to grab my face and hold it still. I didn't want to look into his eyes but the way he held my face and the softness in his voice. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

Tears began to burst from my eyes as Dean pulled my face closer and kissed at my lips and at my cheeks and around my face. I wrapped my arms tight around his neck and held him close as sighed, "Dean...I just miss you so much.."

"I miss you too, Baby," he smiled weakly in a little hoarse voice but it wasn't a real smile. His eyes were sparkling but they weren't happy, I knew the difference.

"I just..-I feel so lost with out you. I just don't know what t- I have nothing without you because I'm here and your there an- I don't know. All I do is think about you and I keep having these horrible, horrible nightmares about you and they keep getting worse and worse!" I cried out, feeling so guilty because I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want to make him feel bad about the wonderful things he's been doing to save lives.

He used his hand to wipe my face and he asked, "What are these nightmares?"

"What are these nightmares?" he asked.

I explained them to him as best as I could without crying. I explained how they started off as little dreams, segments in a dream that hardly mattered, and then they began to build up speed and momentum and then suddenly it was all I could see when I closed my eyes. Him and the Swat team and the woman all beated and bloodied to the point that I couldn't sleep at all, not one bit, because I didn't want to see it anymore.

"Oh, Lori...sweetie...baby...," he held me tight and let me cry in his arms as he wrapped me in his comfort. "It's just a dream...just a dream. It won't happen...I mean..I have nightmares about you too."

"You do?" my eyes looked up to his for conformation and sure enough there it was in his eyes.

"Yeah," he sighed heavily. His hands ran back through my hair while his arm caressed my back all over again, "Every night. Why do you think I'm always watching Sammy sleep and seeing him with his nightmares..It's because I'm staying up and thinking of you..."

"Why don't you ever call me?" I snapped with an attitude that vanished as soon as he began to smile the smile that promises a laugh.

"I just don't want to wake you," he answered, pushing a piece of my hair behind my ear as he smirked, "I always picture you sleeping..in bed...naked."

I slapped at his chest weakly, "Dean!"

"Oh come on!" he laughed, holding onto me, "But honestly. It's just nightmares...created by our lo-..our loss. And our fear of losing each other. It's alright."

I had to admit that did sound reasonable. He began to chuckle softly as he ran his thumb across my lips. I looked up into his eyes but I caught something...there was something he was gaurding. I wanted to ask him but I knew he wouldn't tell me, especially not now. Instead I kissed his cheek and demanded, "I want you to call me."

"I do call you," he defended without missing a beat.

I couldn't help but to let out a little laugh as I explained, "No...I want you to call me so I can answer."

"Lori," he groaned but it wasn't the kind of annoyed groan I used when I didn't want to take my medicine. This was a real groan like he was truly upset and truly distraught, "You know we can't do that. Anyone...anyone could find you just by looking at the phone records. And what about Sam?"

"What about Sam?" I protested with frustration, "I know your Dad, all his Hunter buddies that live in the area..and I don't know your brother? I'm going to have to meet him one day."

"But it's not the right time," he shot back just as quick. I gave him my Dean, don't be an idiot look but he didn't keep his eyes on me long enough to get the full impact. Instead he looked away and explained, "He just loss Jess..I don't think he could handle knowing that I..I have you and he has nothing."

There.

He always knew how to get me.

I turned back into him, leaving my lips onto his shouler as he held me tighter. There was no way I could dispute his defense. I knew that in the back of his mind Dean was thinking, what if the roles were reversed? But still...I wanted to talk to him. I needed to have my way. I waited a few seconds until he thought the conversation was over and then I rolled on top of him and pinned him down-well, as best as I could since I was so weak but he got the point and kept me up with his hands on my waist-as I demanded, "Then just at night. When you have your nightmares."

"Oh, Lori," he groaned again but I grinned because I could already see in the weakness of his face that he was already caving in.

"Do you never want to talk to me? Is that it?" my question wasn't fair, I knew that but still.

"That's not fair, you know I do," he said. I could see in his eyes, in his little scowl, that he was beginning to get frustrated. Usually that was when I backed up because I hated to fight with him but this was different. Plus there were those rare occasions when these things turned into...better things.

"Then what is it? You're afraid the big bad demons are going to get me while I'm locked in my castle with ten guns hidden in various places, a devil's trap hidden in every room, salt lining every crack and a constantly updating security system?" I asked, raising my eyes for emphasis. Although I understood that everything was meant to protect me...it still was a little...much.

I expected a sheepish shrug but his face stayed serious, "Lori, this isn't funny. You know anything can ha-"

"Anything can happen? Like me staging a hunger-strike until you let me answer a call?" I smirked. I would feel guilty for pulling this kind of thing, especially since I could see how he reacted to that threat, "I wont know but still...Two months? I can't do another two months with no word from ou. I...I need to talk to my best friend."

"Speaking of best friends," he coughed in a tone that said I had lost my arguement and emphasizing it by letting go of my waist so I could fall back down and lose my hold over him, "Who the hell is Nick?"

Nick! Was that who had been calling me? I looked over at Dean to answer but suddenly the furious look on his face forced a laugh out of my throat.

"What's so funny? This ain't funny! He better be gay!" Dean shouted, turning on me as he shifted and got on top.

I ran my hand up through his hair, trying to calm myself but his expression and continual rants had gotten the best of me. I shook my head and got out, "Dr. Walcott's son! The doc's been sick so he's taking over all the patients. He's a real hard ass, he calls to make sure I ate or took my medicine which sucks. I'm taking a new batch of pills that just suck."

"He's doin' my job," Dean muttered angrily, not to me of course but just in general. "A little too well to be calling at...when was it? 12?"

"It was at 11:43 and he knows about you and I said I'd shoot him if he tried anything," I tried to get out as seriously as I could but he was tickling me and I couldn't get it out.

"You said that did you? Good girl," he grinned, stopping enough to kiss me on my neck and make me laugh even more.

I slapped at his back and his arms to get him off but it didn't really work, "I learned from the best now stop!"

At my command his hands went limp and instead he rested on me with no signs of moving, "As you wish."

"Dean!" I groaned, trying to push him up off of me, "Ugh, you're crushing me!"

"I'm not gonna get off of you," he smirked, "Not until you listen to me."

"Fine," I huffed, letting my arms rest on his back, "What do I need to listen to?"

"I can't risk anyone tracking you-"

I growled as I tried to push him up, "Dean! I don't care! You've been making all the decisions for two years concerning what kind of danger I can handle and I've had head enough! I'm standing up n-"

"But you're not standin' up, darling. You're layin' dow-"

"Shut up! I'm putting my foot down and I'm saying if you're going to keep this up and if I'm looking forward to another two months then we have to talk...at least once a week. Call me on the green phone this week and next week I'll call you on the blue phone and I'll switch it off every now and then," I grinned, satisfied with my well thought of solution..but then I started to think...maybe I'm being a dictator. So I added weakly, "Does that sound fair?"

"No!" he shouted, forcing a burst of laughter out of my heart. He grinned and kissed at my cheek and neck, "But I guess I can live with it. I can never win with you."

I shook my head, trying not to laugh anymore, "Nope. Not even when you're on top."

He let out the laugh that I loved so much and kissed me softly on the lips in that way that made my cheeks get all red. He whispered against my mouth, "You know you drive me wild right?"

I nodded my head and smirked, "I know."