Jessica stared at the wall of the elevator. She didn't ever realize how long the ride to the main floor of the NCIS building actually was.
"Jess, really, if you need anything…" Tim, who was in the elevator with her, had been talking, but she hadn't really even realized it until he voiced the offer.
She looked at him. "Thanks, Tim, really, but I'm fine for now. I have my brothers and sisters… and my ex taking care of me and not leaving me alone. The offer's appreciated. You're sweet."
Tim nodded. "Just making sure."
Jessica leaned over and kissed his cheek, just as the elevators door opened. Abby, who was right on the other side, paused, seeing them, but after realizing that it was nothing more than friendly, if not sisterly, she grabbed Jessica's wrists and pulled her out. "Are you okay?" She pulled the woman into a tight hug.
Jessica laughed weakly, hugging her back. "As okay as any person would be in this situation… I hope."
Abby squeezed her harder for one more moment before pulling away. "You bring 'em?"
Jessica held up a bag with a hairbrush and toothbrush in it. "Here. What else do you need?"
"I recorded blue eyes, blonde hair, but what's his height, roughly?"
Jessica shook her head. "Three foot is my best guest. God, I don't even remember what he weighed the last time I took him to the doctor." She buried her face in her hands. "How could I have let this happen?"
"You didn't see this coming, that's how."
Jessica peaked out from between two fingers to see Gibbs enter the area. "Huh?"
Gibbs motioned for her to follow him. He led her over to the side, where he sat her down. "Don't you dare start blaming yourself for this. Don't go thinking you could've prevented it. Like it or not, there was no way you could've."
"Gibbs, with all due respect, bullshit. I could've been home. If I had actually stood up and told you that the whole thing with Tony was a bad idea, I would've been home. I would've been able to protect him."
"Jess, stop thinking like that while you're ahead, 'cause once you do, you never stop." Gibbs replied.
Jessica frowned. "How…?" she winced. "Your wife and daughter. I'm sorry…"
Gibbs nodded. "Exactly. Hey, look at me."
Jessica half-heartedly met his eyes.
Gibbs put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "There was no way you could've seen it coming. You know what matters? Sam's a smart, strong kid. What made him be so strong? You. Jess, he knows things other kids his age don't- Hell, he knows things a six year old doesn't. You taught him well. He's gonna be fine."
Jessica let a couple of tears that she didn't realize she was holding fall. "How do you know?"
"I know you, and I know Sam." Gibbs replied. "He's gonna get through. We're gonna find him."
Jessica laughed weakly. "I thought you were supposed to be mean to the agents who work under you."
Gibbs smirked. "Well, I'm not talking to one of my agents right now. I'm talking to a worried mom."
Jessica smiled again. "Thanks. Ugh. I'm notg going against you, but… how are we gonna get him back without interfering with the case?"
"We'll figure it out. I give you my word. I won't let anything happen to Sammy."
Jessica laughed again.
Gibbs raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"I've… I've never heard you call him Sammy is all."
Gibbs slowly cracked a smile as well, then nodded. "There's a first time for everything. Now, do you want another case to work on, or…?"
Jessica shook her head. "That's just it. I knew I could just give the hair brush and toothbrush to Tony or someone to give to Abby, but…"
Gibbs leaned forward. "But…?"
Jessica reached behind her on her belt and took out her gun, then took her badge from the front of her jeans. "I'm turning these in, at least for now. I don't trust myself with these."
Gibbs took them, then stared at them for a while. "…Are you sure?"
Jessica nodded.
Gibbs sighed. "Well, once this is over, if Trent's still out, even if he's in… a spot's always open."
Jessica sighed. "Thanks."
Gibbs nodded again. "Well, if you're gonna do this, then you'll have to talk to Leon."
"I understand." Jessica nodded. "So, just call him."
Gibbs shook his head. "No. Just follow me in." He headed towards the stairs and waited for her to come after him before going back up. When they reached the office, Jessica had to smile when the receptionist looked at Gibbs, got a look of irritation, and looked right back down.
Gibbs opened the doors to the Director's office, then motioned for her to go in.
Director Leon Vance glanced up as both slipped inside. "Gibbs. Ms. Lennox. Can I help you?" he paused. "I'm sorry. This must be about your son, Ms. Lennox."
Jessica opened her mouth, but found no words came out. Her plan of talking with him had suddenly gone out the window.
Gibbs cleared his throat and nudged her forward with his leg.
Jessica turned and glared at him briefly, then took her badge and gun from him and put them on the desk in front of him. "I'm stepping down as an agent for now. I can't concentrate, and I don't honestly trust myself with them with this going on."
Leon sighed, looking from the equipment to her. "I can't say I blame you. I appreciate you doing this before something happened."
"That was the plan, sir." Jessica replied.
Leon nodded. "There's some paperwork you need to take care of, then you're free to go, and welcomed to stay to keep up with the details with your son."
"Thank you." Jessica nodded. "So, let me at the paperwork, I guess."
--
Jessica sighed, heading down the stairs after the paperwork was done, and glanced over at one of the screens on the wall of the main room. Her heart sunk when she saw Sam's face on a profile that popped up. She had seen that so many times in the past, and now that she knew the person on it- had given birth to the child on it- it was scary, and it hit home a little too much. She didn't even know how she managed to get to the floor and over to her section of Tony's desk, getting some of her own things that were on it and putting them in her bag. She didn't notice Tony come up behind her.
"Hey…" the man offered.
Jessica turned. "Oh. Hi."
Tony poked at his monitor. "You uh… want a ride home or anything?"
"I'll probably stick around here for a bit, actually. I just want to make sure we haven't missed anything from the night until now."
Tony nodded. "Fine." He knelt down and opened one of the left-side desk drawers.
Jessica raised an eyebrow when he pulled up an airplane pillow and a blanket.
Tony held them out to her. "The most comfortable spot in Abby's lab is the one under the table opposite the computer island."
Jessica paused, then smiled. "Thanks to you, too."
"Heh." Tony bowed his head slightly. "So how's Trent, 007 and Hates-Me-a-Lot?"
"They're all fine. Really helpful,"
"Really? 007, too?"
Jessica shot him a look, folding the blanket in her arms. "Yes, actually. It is his son caught up in this, after all."
"It's still weird." Tony shrugged.
"You met the guy once!" Jessica replied.
"Yeah, and at the end of the visit Gibbs punched him in the face!" Tony argued.
"But-"
"Oh, just go get settled in Abby's lab." Tony waved her off.
Jessica sighed. "You're an idiot, you know that?"
"We've been over this. I've been called worse by-" He was interrupted when something hit the back of his head. It took him a moment to realize that it was the heel of Gibbs' hand. "Ow! Him." He replied. "What was that for?!"
"Getting your and her attention." Gibbs replied, then grabbed Jessica's shoulder. "Jess, go to the lab so you're by the first place we contact. We may have something on Sam."
Jessica's head shot up. "Really?"
Gibbs nodded. "Don't know if it'll get anywhere, but prints on the note matched some another team just found."
"But the note said-" Jessica began, but Gibbs cut her off again.
"The note said they'd do something if we interfered on a certain case. Not if we followed up with the note." Gibbs explained.
The side of Jessica's mouth turned up slightly. "You guys are awesome."
Gibbs laughed, then glanced at Tim and Ziva as they came up behind him. "Let's move."
The three left.
Tony glanced at Jessica. "You sure you're gonna be okay?"
Jessica nodded. "Tony, I don't care if it's bad news… just come back with news about my son."
Tony nodded. "Will do." With a final look-over her, Tony ran to catch up with the others, and Jessica headed for the lab.
