Racing back to Heavenly Purity, Naruto stormed down the corridor with the sketch in hand and burst into his chambers.
With a keen sense of purpose, he went over to his desk and whipped open one of the top drawers. His hands shook as they rifled through an assortment of outdated files and miscellaneous items. Papers flew out as he cast them aside in his frenzied search until at last he found what he was looking for.
The photograph.
It was worn and faded around the edges, having been held many times. It was of Kakashi, himself, Sasuke, and….
He stared at the guileless, smiling girl in the picture. Slowly, he brought out the other sketch of Ayame into view and compared the images side-by-side. The resemblance was not perfect but the features were undoubtedly the same. They had the same nose, the same lips.
Naruto's breath caught in his throat.
He laid the images on the desk and slumped back into a chair, bewildered. This could not be real. How was this possible?
It's not, his brain wearily thought, she's dead! She's been dead for so long.
As if to answer, his mind flashed backwards to Gaara who had commented on Ayame's appearance. It wasn't a lie. The likeness was there.
For a long time, Naruto couldn't sleep.
No matter how many times he closed his eyes and waited for his mind to be dragged into some blank dream, the chance never came. Instead, he paced back and forth in his room, assailed with a frightening confusion like he'd never known before.
He had seen the dead rise once. A long time ago, in a war-torn wasteland where he encountered some...thing...that bore the face and personality of his father. But it was only a corporeal shade and it was obvious. With Ayame, it was different. She looked and felt so real. Everything about her was lifelike. If she was Sakura, why hadn't she said anything? Why did she have a different name and going about the village under an assumed identity? Why? Had something or someone brought her back from the grave?
Naruto's hands clenched into fists.
An uneasy discomfort settled about him now. There were only a handful of people in the world capable of such power. Could it have been….? His shook his head at the thought.
He wanted nothing more than to run to Ayame's room, wake her up, and demand an explanation from her. He did not care what the servants would think if they saw him with her at this hour or what they'd say about it afterwards. He needed answers and he would get them now.
He went for the doors and was about to pull them away when an attack of conscience overcame him. What good would it do if he were to wake her? She'd think he had gone mad and would have every reason not to cooperate with him. His hand relaxed and fell down. With enormous difficulty, he forced himself to not call for the Pavilion guard. Instead, he waited for the sun to rise. He would let her sleep and have one more night.
Just one.
By morning, the first thing Naruto did was to instruct his retainers that Ayame was to be brought to him at once. When Takemaru came to his room, he dismissed him right away, stating that he wanted an audience alone with Ayame.
"Alone?" Takemaru repeated in alarm.
"I have to talk to her."
"But—" Takemaru sputtered. "—you're supposed to have brunch with Hinata-sama this morning at her palace—"
"Cancel it."
"Hokage-sama, you were the one who agreed—"
"I'll explain later but I need you to cancel it." Naruto said in an unusually strained voice. He looked at his assistant with pleading in his eyes.
Takemaru gazed after him. Unnerved, he nodded and withdrew from Naruto's chamber to head straightaway to Earthly Pavilion in order to offer up apologies.
Nervously, Naruto waited for Ayame. He frequently glanced at the screen doors, wondering when they would slide open. Different thoughts shot across his mind. Questions were threatening to burst from his lips. He could feel acute pressure and rage rise within his every step as he paced around. More than once, he had to stop himself to calm down. It would do no good to start off angry, he reminded himself. He had to be focused, emotionless even.
The panel doors opened.
When he turned around to see Ayame step into his room, he forgot all about restraint.
"What's wrong?" She asked without preamble as she headed straight towards him. "Are you not feeling well?" She glanced at the bed and noticed it hadn't been slept in. "Did you rest last night?"
"I need to know." His voice sounded horribly strangled.
"Know what?"
"Where….are you from?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Answer me…." his body was shaking now. "Where are you from?"
She stared at him. "I told you, the Hidden Moon Village temple. You know this."
"No, where were you before then?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know?" He repeated in disbelief.
"I don't know because I can't remember. I was told I was born somewhere far from the temple and then given to Lady Asagao so that my life could be dedicated to the gods' service." She said although there was a noticeable air of recitation to it as though she had been instructed to say this.
"Why can't you remember?!" demanded Naruto much to Ayame's alarm.
"Because," she explained as steadily as she could, "when someone is brought into the novitiate, they undergo a sealing ceremony that removes our memories. It's done because we have to let go of all mortal ties in order to be washed clean of sin and serve as vessels."
"What does that even mean? Is it…" he cast around looking for the right words. "D'you have what...a….some kind of seal then? Is that what they do at the temple?"
"Yes."
"Well then break it!"
"I can't. I….I don't know how." Ayame was flustered at her own uncertainty. This was not the first time she had contemplated on removing the seal. Only Lady Asagao's warning had stopped her, telling her in irrefutable terms that it was impossible to break.
"But you had parents!" Naruto persisted. "You had a family once, didn't you? D'you remember anything about them? Their names? Their faces?"
"What is this about—"
"Do you remember where you lived before the temple?"
"I just told you, I can't!" Ayame replied, moved to frustration herself.
"Your name? Can you remember your old name?" Naruto was agitated. "Is there anything from your past life that you can think back on? Your old village? Your country? Your friends? Was I—" he pounded a fist against his chest in a desperate gesture to himself. "—was I in it? Do you recognise me?"
Bewildered, Ayame watched him in trepidation as he walked over to her and thrust a pair of images before her. One was an aged photograph and the other was her portrait that Sai had drawn. When she caught sight of the girl in the photograph, she understood at once. The papers violently trembled in Naruto's hand as he lowered them to the desk, never taking his eyes away from their subject that stood before him in stony silence.
"Are you her?" He whispered when he couldn't hold back anymore. "Are you really….Sakura?"
He took a step forward, even as he felt his head reeling in shock. It was costing him every ounce of effort not to throw himself at her. The distance he had maintained was growing shorter into a dangerous closeness as he approached.
"Naruto." The girl spoke as his heart was giving out. Then her voice dwindled into a soft, sad tone. "I'm not her."
"No." But even as he said this, Naruto's voice shook. It had to be a mistake. She looked so much like Sakura, there was no way she couldn't be anyone else. Surely she was wrong. She had to be. Drawing himself up and gathering the last of his hopes into him, he said, "You don't know what you're saying."
"Neither do you." Ayame replied gently as she laid him low.
A terrible panic rose within him. "You said it yourself that your name isn't real. So why can't you be her?"
"Because I'm not. I never was."
"But—"
"You and I have worked together to unlock your chakras. You felt mine and I felt yours. Was there ever a time when you sensed that it was Sakura's?"
A thought as cold and rigid as a winter icicle awoke him with chilling clarity. It had been years since he had sensed Sakura's chakra; his memory was but a pale shadow to the actual thing. It was rich and complex with a strong, earthy undertone. He had felt the energy core in Sakura's every healing touch and could recognise it's tethering bind, a seemingly unbreakable force that could willfully push a person edging at death's door away into life.
But Ayame's was nothing like that.
Hers was, for lack of a better word, muted. It lacked the vibrancy and depth that had distinguished Sakura's.
"Do you see now?" Ayame said quietly, seeing the realisation in Naruto's face as plain as day. At that moment, she wished she had never entered Konoha. If only she had stayed behind at the temple and let Namiko go instead. She would never have felt this awful sadness within her or come to know such joy, such pleasure. To think that she had been wanted, beyond her capacity as a healer, by someone else. To be loved as a person.
But not in the way she had hoped.
"But you look like her!" Naruto protested.
Ayame could only gaze after him. She wanted him to think of herself. To love her as the person she was, not Sakura.
"Only in appearance, maybe." She acknowledged in a pained voice. "But you're mistaking me for someone else."
"I can't be." He vehemently shook his head and suddenly, without thinking, he crossed over to her in two steps and seized her hand in his.
His touch was electrifying.
Almost immediately, Ayame stepped away only to have him pull her close to him. Keeping her hand locked with his right, his left rose to cradle her cheek against its steel palm. The edge of his thumb hovered above her eye as the veil and wimple slid along the back of his metallic fingers.
He lowered his head so that their foreheads gently met and closed his eyes at the touch.
Her legs felt as though they were made of lead. She could not move...nor did she want to. It was never so clear to her until this moment that she could never see this man again. What she was doing crossed the lines of propriety and duty to which she was honour-bound. He would ruin her and she would do the same to him. There was no allowance for people like that in a world that cherished loyalty above all things. Loyalty to the village, to one's clan, to one's family.
So instead she looked, she watched, memorising each of his features so that when she left, she would be able to remember everything about him when she was gone. His smell, his beautiful hair, the warmth of his skin, the contrasting touch of his hands. Metal and flesh. Heat and cool. It was almost cruel, obscene even, for the gods to decree that this had to be sacrificed for the sake of enlightenment.
"Tell me who you are." There was a desperation in his voice. "Please. Tell me that I'm right."
In some selfish part of herself, Ayame wanted to. She wanted to say: yes, I am the girl you think I am but she knew it wasn't true. She had no memory of her past and no ties to Konoha. The only thing linking her back to Sakura was a physical resemblance and nothing more. A relationship was supposed to be made and based on stronger stuff than that.
"I'm not." Ayame whispered. A tear ran down and slid towards Naruto's thumb.
He did not break away, at least not immediately. Slowly, his eyes opened and when they held her fast, she could see a blue haze of sheer pain.
First, he drew back and as he did, his hand slid down against her shoulder and finally fell away in defeat.
"I'm sorry…." Her throat was so tight that she could barely speak. She did not know which was more hurtful to see: his despair or his resignation.
"Go." His voice was hollow.
For once, she obeyed. Taking the rest of the drawings with her, she turned away, careful to hide the tears that ran down her face as she slipped out.
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He stood in the semi-darkness of his chambers, neither going forward nor back.
He was not much aware of the present either.
Ghosts from the past revolved around his mind, each one demanding him to get up and do something. He felt listless, like a dead horse that everyone kept beating down with words. He wanted to get out of this room, he really did, but a cold weight seemed to keep him glued to the floor. A part of him wanted to fight it off but the other half desired nothing more than to surrender and sink into it. His future was a question mark and the only certainty he had was that Hinata was to be his wife.
My wife.
The permanency of the title struck him powerfully.
"Being a husband," Kakashi-sensei had once said, "is one of the hardest jobs you'll ever do in your life."
"You're not even married!" Naruto remembered retorting back to which Kakashi had merely smiled.
"And why do you think that is?" The Sixth's reply echoed, it's sardonicness rippling across Naruto's conscience.
It had occurred to Naruto that he had never asked Kakashi about his past, particularly about any lost loves his teacher once cherished. The subject was so personal that he didn't think to bring it up and he had sensed it was painful for Kakashi to speak of. But in all the time they had known each other, they had not once discussed love or marriage beyond a handful of opinionated statements.
Love. It was considered a liability, even a detrimental weakness by some nations. But none could deny that it was a force to be reckoned with. It had the power to bring even the most formidable ninja to their knees and cause a profound, irrevocable change. But it's loss could also serve as a terrible fuel for destruction. He had seen it firsthand with Obito and to some extent, Sasuke.
When Sakura died, he finally understood the rage they had felt when their loved ones had been taken from them. The moment the earth had closed over her open grave, the agony that followed was excruciating. He even sympathised with Obito a little. He found himself wanting to tear down the sun and moon from the skies just for one more day, another moment with her.
But his enemy had been death. Her life was taken naturally, peacefully even. There was no one to fight over or take vengeance on. He didn't know whether or not he would have preferred a tangible adversary, someone to hunt down and bring to justice. Instead, he was left to linger on with only memories to hold on to.
Except….
Naruto turned to the desk to see that Ayame's portrait had been left behind. The photograph of Team 7 lay obscured in the shadows. He laid a hand on the sketched cheek, tracing out the graceful smile that curved across the lips. He looked up to see the doors where she had gone.
Resolved, he called for Sai.
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"...I need you to do something for me."
"What is it?"
"Get Sakura's autopsy report and her health records from the hospital. All of it, even the ones from when she was little."
For a fraction of a second, Sai's impassive mask slipped off to reveal a look of surprise. Immediately, he sobered up and gave a silent nod of acknowledgement.
"Something's not making sense to me." Naruto looked down to Ayame's portrait. "I just….I need to know. I have to be sure."
Sai lowered his head in understanding. He had long ago decided to trust Naruto and knew his faith had not been misplaced, no matter how farfetched the order seemed.
"One more thing."
"Yes?"
"Tell Sasuke that I want him to go to the borderland." Naruto lowered his voice. "I want him to visit his old teacher and ask a few questions. Don't go through the ANBU channels, keep this quiet."
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Ayame chose to spend her last week primarily at the Annex.
She took comfort in the pace and grind of clinical work. It helped dull the pain she felt and eased the horrible sense of loneliness to a level that she could bear.
She reasoned that the more she accustomed herself to her clinical duties, the easier it would be transition back to the temple when she returned. There, life was so much simpler. She and the other novices depended on nothing but themselves, the sun, and the gods. Her life would be dominated in routines of prayer, work, and service.
The seasons would dictate her customs. In the spring and summer, she would heal. In the fall, she would harvest the gardens just like everybody else. In the winter, she would reflect and practice through martial art forms although no one at the temple used them. At least not in practice.
The refugees took the news of Ayame's departure stoically. She had promised that she would send other novices from the temple to tend to the clinic in rotations. She was confident that Lady Asagao would consent to this, for although the priestess was strict, she was someone who did not turn away those in need.
It was the children who gave her some semblance of joy. They loved the drawings she could brought them and couldn't wait to colour them in with the pencils she had given.
"Where's Naruto? Is he here?" One of the girls asked in a bright voice. She eagerly looked behind the healer for him. Her excitement unexpectedly pricked at Ayame's heart.
"Not today, Mina." Ayame answered in a gentle voice.
"Will he come back?"
Ayame's throat tightened. Smiling, she instead took Mina's hand and guided her back with the rest of the little ones. Once she ensured they were happily distracted, she went back to look after her adult patients.
Although the conditions at the Annex had steadily improved and they were not lacking in food or shelter, the refugees were clearly frustrated at being kept on the beach. They were tired, they told Ayame, of waiting. They wanted to enter Konoha, become citizens, and resume normal lives as quickly as possible. They wanted to farm again, to sell, to buy, to participate.
To make matters worse, there had been a series of deaths. A half dozen elderly refugees had passed away and the baby girl that Ayame had delivered only a few weeks before had suddenly died. She found the mother, prostrate with grief and on her knees, sobbing.
Rushing over to her, Ayame grasped the mother from behind and held her close.
"My child." The mother keened as she gripped onto Ayame's forearm. "My child, Lady, my child…."
"I am so sorry." Ayame murmured, comfortingly stroking her hair.
It was a long time before Ayame could get the mother to stand and lead her to a bed. With the help of the ANBU guards, she guided the mother to lie down. She sat with her patient, examining her chest in a quiet, gentle, but efficient manner. She did not know what to say. No words could alleviate the pain of losing a child. The loss of someone so young and innocent was all the more tragic; it would not be easy to forget this. Vaguely, she thought of Naruto and felt a modicum of sympathy for him. He too had been unable to let go.
"I'm going to get you some salts." Ayame said softly. "It will help dry up your milk and prevent any sores from developing."
The mother did not respond and lay in grief-stricken stupor.
Ayame rose from the bedside and left the tent to retrieve the mineral salts when she found a group of men waiting outside for her.
"This is all Konoha's fault." One of them got to the point at once. "That child would've lived had we been allowed into the village. She would've gotten to a hospital and been in a safe home instead of a beach!"
"Enough." Ayame coldly rebuked him. "Do not use that baby's death to further your cause. Can't you see that her family is in mourning? Leave them be."
"That baby would've lived if Konoha granted us amnesty at the very beginning!" The man snapped.
Immediately, Ayame sensed something was off. She carefully observed the other men's faces and saw the same anger mirrored back.
"I don't know what happened to the baby. She was born healthy." She tried to explain in a calm, low voice. "Her mother was a good caregiver and as far as I can tell, the baby wasn't harmed. Sometimes, these kinds of deaths happen and it's difficult to determine what the reason is."
"Winter is coming, we can't stay on the Annex forever." Another said.
"Please, Ayame-sama." Someone else pleaded. "Speak with the Hokage. Tell him that we must be allowed into Konoha."
"I am only his doctor." Ayame placatingly held up her hand to stem the entreaties. "You have to understand that I have no say in my position. What the village does is entirely dependent on its people, the Hokage, and their council."
"You're with the Hokage almost every day, milady!" The first man protested. "You're at the Pavilion and attend to him all the time. You must say something to him! Tell him we need to be taken in! We have nowhere else to go. Our own villages were destroyed in the war, there's nothing there for us anymore."
"The Seventh understands that you are frustrated. He has been doing what he can to ensure that all of you are fed and housed." Ayame replied calmly. "It will take some time for Konoha to prepare to welcome and grant you citizenship. He and the other kages were unable to decide on a resolution for you. Perhaps the next summit will yield better results."
"By which time, we'll starve or be dead!" The man spat in disgust. "He is the most powerful leader in the world and yet you're telling us that he can't do much for us."
"The Hokage," Ayame said in a firm voice, "is beholden to his people first and foremost. He cannot simply act on his own without taking into consideration what effect it will have on his country. Surely you can understand. You must be patient."
"Patient." The man scoffed. "Such a thing does not exist, milady, when one is starving and running from danger."
"But you're not in the water nation anymore." Ayame pointed out. "You are safe here."
"For now." The man darkly replied.
Weary, Ayame chose not to answer. Instead, she turned and slipped back into the tent, not wanting to further engage herself.
For the rest of the day, she kept to the clinic. Whenever someone approached her about the Seventh, she deflected their questions and shifted her attentions back to her patients. But as she went about, her mind kept drifting to Naruto.
How could she face him now? It wasn't that she had lost her courage. It was her credibility that had been shot. She, a temple maiden, had transgressed. There was nothing in this world that she could claim for her own.
Even if she wanted to.
Closing her eyes, she took a breath and steeling herself, she bent her down and returned to her work.
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On what was to be Ayame's last day, although he did not know it, Naruto tried to speak to her but met little success in doing so.
He would find her rooms empty and belatedly discover she was at the Annex. By the time he got there, she somehow managed to get away before his arrival. When he returned to the Pavilion, he still couldn't find her and even after sending Takemaru, his frazzled assistant would come back saying that she was busy at the library or that she had gone out into the village.
Frustrated, he planted himself squarely at her bedroom door and refused to leave until she arrived. When Takemaru heard of this absurd plan, it took him almost an hour to convince Naruto that he couldn't possibly wait for her this way.
"You have a defence meeting with the ANBU first-rank captains." Takemaru reproached. "Also, Hanzei-sama has requested that you see him at the Hall. Your presence is expected."
"I don't get this, where the hell could this girl be?!" Naruto suddenly snapped. "There are hundreds of guards in the Pavilion and none of them can tell me when they last saw her?"
Takemaru shook his head. "Hokage-sama, I've told you multiple times: Ayame-san is at the Annex clinic. She is extremely busy these days."
"Well she's my healer, isn't she? So why isn't she where she's supposed to be?" demanded Naruto.
"You're the one who let her treat the refugees in the first place." Takemaru sighed. "If you wish to postpone the defence meeting, you can, but you need to meet with Hanzei-sama. It's urgent."
Naruto threw him an ill-disguised look of impatience. "What for? What he does he want now?"
"I don't know." Takemaru truthfully answered. "But you cannot miss it."
"He never meets me in the Hall." Naruto remarked as he rose from the floor. "He didn't say anything else?"
"No."
"Fine." Naruto briskly sped up his pace. He reckoned the sooner he met with Hanzei, the quicker he could get it out of the way and return to waiting for Ayame later.
Takemaru followed closely behind him at his heel and when they stepped outside into the outer court, to their surprise, they found Hinata and Hanabi approaching them. A small entourage of lesser Hyuuga female relatives and their maids accompanied her, keeping a modest distance of a few paces in between.
"Naruto." Hinata smiled as she walked up to him. "I'm so glad to see you, I was just taking my sister and cousins to see our great-uncle."
"You're all seeing him today too?" Naruto blinked in confusion."I thought the meeting was between me and him?" He looked to Takemaru for confirmation but received a blank stare of incomprehension in return.
He turned to back to Hinata. Almost immediately, he noticed that she was dressed much more fancifully than usual. She was wearing pale lilac robes woven with silver embroidery and bejeweled in diamonds. A beautiful circlet of moonstones and opals graced her lovely purple hair, giving her a regal look. Hanabi looked equally beautiful in a matching outfit although hers was in sky blue and her own diadem was smaller than her sister's.
A faint blush crept to Hinata's cheeks when she saw how intently Naruto was looking at her.
"My great-uncle asked that we wear our best robes." She said shyly.
"You look beautiful as always." Naruto gave what he hoped was a winsome smile. "Both of you." He looked to Hanabi who was quietly watching him. Her opalescent eyes lowered in a polite but demure greeting to her future brother-in-law.
In all the years that he had known Hinata, he was not particularly close to Hanabi. The younger heiress-apparent was even more reserved and possessed a markedly grave demeanour. A smile or laugh was easy to coax out of Hinata but it was like pulling teeth with Hanabi. Instead, Hanabi's greatest pleasures seem to lie in solitude, reading, or carrying out managerial tasks for the clan with quiet efficiency.
It hadn't taken Naruto very long to realise that Hanabi preferred to be left to her own devices and it was easy to respect that decision. His responsibilities had increased over the years to such an extent that he rarely saw her or her sister as often as he should have.
"Since we're all here anyway, why don't we walk up there together?" suggested Hinata.
"Of course." He graciously offered his arm.
Their promenade progressed in content silence as they made their way to the Hall of Supreme Harmony where Hanzei awaited them.
Every once in a while, Hinata's cousins would sneak a smile with one another. They were pleased at how well the Seventh and his betrothed were getting on these days. What a splendid pair they made, they thought. Yes, their lady was much more suitable than that upstart healer Minamoto Ayame.
The thought of that disgraceful novice was enough to earn the cousins' contempt.
They were loudly vocal in their disagreement whenever someone mentioned Ayame. They confided in one another when the rumours were going around about her and the Hokage and bore silent, sympathetic witness to Hinata's quiet distress over the matter. They saw how lonely she was in her gorgeous rooms, how little pleasure she took in her day-to-day activities because she wasn't in Naruto's company. They pitied her greatly and loved her for her gentleness; it made them all the more protective of her.
None of the Hyuuga cousins could understand what on earth Naruto saw in that healer of his.
So it was that when they saw a distant figure clothed in grey and white, they immediately stopped walking.
Their eyes narrowed.
It was her.
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The final morning that Ayame spent in her room was a quiet one.
The last of her medicine kits had been given away and the linens were all packed. The manuscript lay in it's lacquered box on the desk like an unwrapped, delicate cake of yellowed pages. Stray rays of afternoon sunlight streaked the sheets of the empty, clean bed in slanted gold lines.
A neatly written letter addressed to Takemaru had been placed on the desk's gleaming wooden surface. The explanation was short and polite; it neither revealed nor suggested anything as she intended. There was nothing for Naruto, not even a formal goodbye. She had wasted so much parchment and ink on trying to think of what to say that in the end, she decided it would be best to say nothing at all. That, she tried to justify herself, was the discreet thing to do.
Even if she was running away like a thief into the night.
Ayame stood for a moment in her empty bedroom and took in the scene. Unlike most travelers, she would not be departing with souvenirs but would arrive at the temple empty-handed. Yet she carried a far greater weight within. She had changed and perhaps not for the better. She found herself wanting. To receive, to give, to cherish….to him.
She tensed up.
There was nothing she could do or say to change the reality. She did not even dare try. His body legally belonged to one but his heart? That was an entirely different matter and Ayame knew it wasn't hers.
Sakura….she had heard about the girl so often now that it was impossible not to think of her these days. In the spare quiet moments she had, she wondered what it would be like if she really was her. All that she knew of the girl was from village gossip and personal descriptions given by friends. The result was a complicated, if not incomplete, picture.
By all accounts, Sakura had been a difficult child prone to fits and did not get on easy with her peers. Time and life experience had reformed her into a beautiful teenager who had acquired worldly knowledge and seriousness. Her strength was admirable, her intelligence perceptive. Yet Ayame wished she knew more about the girl's personality in the hope that she could understand what it was about her that Naruto loved. How had this creature make such a powerful and permanent impact on him after all this time?
If only he could see me for who I was, Ayame ruefully thought to herself, instead of who I ought to be.
Strong, beautiful, brave.
She wished she were that. But temple maidens were not supposed to be. Gentle, humble, gracious was the motto for a servant of the gods. It was an unsuitable disposition to have for a queenly position as the Hokage's wife. Unwillingly, she thought of Hinata. The heiress was rich, fair, and powerful. A much more attractive prospect for a kage.
Stepping out of her chamber, Ayame turned around to slide the panels after her. She swept past the corridor, admiring the detailed woodwork and priceless artefacts for what would be the last time. When she bypassed the ornate panels that led to Naruto's rooms, she bade a silent goodbye.
From the inner courtyard, she walked to the outer wings of the Pavilion. She paused at the kitchens to thank the chefs before asking them for one last favour. Gratified by her flattery, they happily acquiesced to her request for extra sweets and brought her a few boxes of specially made treats that she intended to give to Namiko.
Carefully placing them in a silk bag, Ayame thanked them again and continued her progress to reach the main gates when—
"Ayame?"
She turned and to her chagrin, she saw Naruto walking arm-in-arm with Hinata and a clutch of ladies trailing them. Careful not to betray herself, she smiled and lowered her head.
"A pleasure to see you, my lady." Ayame addressed Hinata, avoiding looking at Naruto. She glanced at the girl's finery. "You look lovely. Are you going out to the village tonight?"
"You're too kind." Hinata cheerfully accepted the compliment despite her ladies glowering at Ayame. Hanabi too was staring at her. "We were on our way to the Hall to see my great-uncle. What about you? Are you going to the Annex again?"
"I was on my way to the gates." Ayame continued the pleasantries. Keep smiling. Be polite. "A carriage is waiting for me to take me back to my temple."
"WHAT?!" Naruto's voice scalded the air, startling Hinata and the other women. Never good at concealing his emotions, he was horrified.
"It is time for me to go." Ayame remained resolutely courteous as though she hadn't heard him.
"On whose orders?" he demanded.
"Naruto," Hinata laid a calming hand on his arm, "please. You shouldn't yell at Ayame-san."
Naruto's eyes narrowed. He advanced toward the healer, prompting Hinata to let go and watch him in confusion and dismay. Hanabi continued to remain silent although she continued to observe the Hokage and the novice with marked interest.
"By your leave, my lady." Ayame bade Hinata farewell and spared Naruto a cursory nod. "Seventh."
She turned to go, determined to walk out of the Pavilion with grace and dignity when she suddenly felt her wrist being seized. Her mouth fell open in shock. "What—?"
"Naruto!" Hinata called after him in alarm.
"Stay where you are." Ayame heard Naruto say.
With propelling force, he pulled her aside, away from the courtyard and stormed off into the middle of a deserted clearing with her in tow. When he was sure that they were alone, he let go of her hand and rounded on her.
"Just where d'you think you're going?"
Ayame's eyes hit the ground, unwilling to look at him. She would not give him the satisfaction of seeing her in any kind of distress. It would only make him do something reckless. Then again, she didn't know if she could trust herself either.
"You need to return to Lady Hinata. Her great-uncle is expecting both of you." Ayame answered evenly. "You shouldn't keep her waiting."
"Why—are—you—going?" Naruto thundered.
"I have to."
"No, you don't!"
"Yes, I do. I don't belong—"
"The agreement was for you to stay until you finished unlocking all seven chakras!" He snapped. "You've only done five! That's two more to go! Besides, what about the refugees? Or did you forget about them too?"
Ayame was stung. "Consider the deal reneged." She said in a low voice. "You don't owe my temple anything. I told the refugees that I would send other novices to them as soon as I return. As for your chakras, you can have another healer complete the process. You don't need me."
"That's my call, not yours!"
She finally looked up to reply. "You're the one who told me not to get close to you!"
"I never told you to go far away from me either!" Naruto shouted.
A silence descended upon them in the wake of this outburst. Naruto's breaths were coming up short and hard. He was furious. He didn't have the faintest idea where she came up with this nonsense and was determined to stop her. She was so irritating—so stubborn and determined to do things her way. Whatever he could say to persuade her, it wouldn't work would it? She had already made up her mind. He could see that.
Then he realised it wasn't that he was angry. He was frightened. Worse yet, of losing her.
So what kind of man did that make him now?
"You were right about me." He could not look away from her green gaze. He didn't want to. "I'm mistaking you for someone else. The truth is, I honestly don't know what to make of you. But until I can figure it out….I need you to stay." He stepped forward to grip her shoulders. "Please."
"You don't know what you're asking of me." She moved to break away but he held her fast.
"I'm going to break off the engagement."
Ayame felt as though the ground had slipped under her feet. She blinked, momentarily robbed of speech. This was not happening.
"You can't." She shook her head. "You musn't."
"It's not right for me to continue like this with Hinata. Not with everything else that's going on."
"She loves you."
"You don't think I know that?" Naruto bit out. "It's hard on me too, okay? But I have to do it because it's the right and honest way."
"No!" Ayame was now terrified. "No, you don't know what you're saying."
"This is my mistake, it's not yours." Naruto said fiercely. "Whatever happens afterwards, it'll be all on me. It has to be. It was my fault for asking her to marry me in the first place." He clenched his fist as the words were wrenched from him. "Instead of waiting for you."
Ayame's bag of sweets dropped to the ground.
Her head was spinning like a top as tension reigned all over her body. She was so shell-shocked that she couldn't even spit out a sentence let alone a word. Her heart violently beat against her chest as it was brought to exhilarating heights. He loves….me? Me?
Yet the high was tempered with a crushing low. He was going to break his engagement? Give up a Hyuuga princess in exchange for a lowly novice with no title or gold to her name? This marriage was an alliance; a unity of political strength for a village still recovering from war. The cost of its failure was immeasurable and she was all too well-aware of the ramifications. His title could be strpped, Hinata's heart broken.
He could lose everything, Ayame's brain dawned with horror. Being a Hokage is so important to him….I can't….I can't let him do this!
"Hokage-sama." They both turned to see Takemaru dashing up to them. Breathless, he stopped just in time to deliver his message. "You're late, you have to come with me immediately."
Naruto glanced at Ayame. "Can I see you after?"
"Hokage-sama." Takemaru repeated with a bite of impatience in his voice. "Now."
"Please, Ayame."
"All right." She managed to whisper, not wanting him to delay anymore. "I will but you have to go."
Not bothering to hide his relief, Naruto nodded and strode off with Takemaru into the Hall leaving her alone in the courtyard. She felt dazed and worn out, as though she had been a ship tossed and turn about a tempestuous sea. Hope strained by guilt surged through her. Had the gods listened to her secret wishes after all? Slowly, she picked up her bag and made her way to the Pavilion gates.
It should not have taken her that long to reach the carriage but when Ayame stepped into the outer courtyard, she found it packed to the seams with people.
Everyone from the daimyo, the ranked nin, to old chef Teuchi were all there. A steady buzz of human conversation kept the Pavilion court alive with noise. It had not escaped her notice that many of them were looking at the balcony from the Hall in expectation, where a sextet of ANBU guards were quietly pacing around. A regal red banner hung from the balcony's edge, bearing the Konoha crest in blazing gold thread.
They must be waiting for Naruto and Hinata, Ayame guessed. Still, she could not figure out why Hanzei needed the entire village for an audience. Puzzled, she turned to the nearest person next to her.
"What's going on?" She asked.
The man shrugged. "Dunno. We all got an announcement that there was going to be a meeting of some kind at the Pavilion."
Ayame glanced at the balcony again. Then, as the window-paned doors opened, she felt and heard the crowd move towards the Hall. Excited murmurs broke out amongst them and a cheer rose up when Naruto and Hinata stepped out into view followed by Hanzei.
To compound her confusion, Naruto looked anything but pleased. She noticed him throwing harried, dark looks at Hanzei's way and could even see his left hand balling into a fist at times.
"What's the meaning of this?" Naruto turned to Hanzei as soon as he took in the scope of the crowd. "Why'd you call the entire village?"
"For a show of unity, Hokage-sama." Hanzei answered. "We need it now more than ever in the wake of foreign migrants invading our lands."
"Well since you've called everyone here, I have something to say to them." Naruto approached the balcony's edge only to be stopped by Hanzei's halting hand on his shoulder.
"Allow me, Seventh." Hanzei overrode. "I find that we have some pressing matters to attend to first before your announcement. May I?" Unsmiling, he advanced forward and raised both his arms in a calming gesture to ask for silence.
When the villagers fell quiet, he lowered his hands and placed them on the marble rail. Surveying the massive flock of people, he opened his mouth and spoke in a loud, clear voice that rang throughout the Pavilion courtyard.
"Konoha," he addressed, "you have toiled long and hard these past eight years. Because of your collective efforts, we are now one of the wealthiest and stable countries in the world!"
A resounding roar greeted Hanzei's words. Signalling them to still their cries, he continued.
"None of us in the council can ignore nor deny such hardworking citizens of what is rightfully theirs. It is you who earned this peace and it should be you who enjoys its rewards. For so long, we have focused on our survival and maintaining neutrality in these conflict-ridden times. There has been little occasion for joy and merriment."
He paused and allowed himself a grim smile.
"But it is my pleasure to tell you, Konoha, that such a day has come at last. With great pride, I wish to announce that my dear great-niece Lady Hinata of the Hyuuga clan is to wed the Seventh Hokage this Saturday!" Hanzei proclaimed.
Naruto's jaw dropped.
Hinata gasped and immediately covered her mouth with her hands as she stared after her great-uncle.
There were marked signs of confusion from the crowd as though they had not understood what had just been said. Then someone started cheering and another was clapping. Gradually, the scattered applause grew to include hundreds, thousands, drawing a thunderous reception accented by screams of delight. As they cheered, thrilled and buoyed by the prospect of a royal wedding, they failed to notice Naruto whipping around to face Hanzei.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Naruto shouted above the din, his outburst completely ignored and unheard by the massive crowd below. "You can't just—"
"If you are concerned about the logistics, I have already taken care of them." Hanzei interrupted smoothly amidst the applause. "The other four kages have already been summoned, they are to arrive in two days time. The Pavilion household is aware and have made preparations. I will make sure that Konoha's citizens are to be given wine and food for their commemorations."
Naruto was aghast. "You did what?"
Helplessly, Hinata turned to Hanzei. "Uncle, it's true, Naruto and I agreed to get married in the fall—" she began only to be cut off.
"Isn't this what you wanted?" Hanzei brusquely asked.
"Yes but—but—" Hinata was struggling for an adequate reply to convey her feelings.
"You are twenty-five years old already, much older than most brides." Hanzei noted in a cruel, matter-of-fact fashion. "The chances of you bearing a healthy heir grow slimmer by the year and if you delay any further, you will never be a mother. The First, Third, and Fourth Hokages' wives all bore children. Do you wish to be the singular exception?"
She coloured in embarrassment.
"This isn't how I wanted to announce the wedding." Naruto glowered, simultaneously incensed by Hanzei taking shots at Hinata and frustrated by her inability to protest.
"And yet, look how the people respond." Hanzei gestured to the jubilation below. His grey eyes however remained affixed on the Hokage. "I wonder if you were prepared for their outrage had you gone through with your original intent."
Naruto froze, realising at once something was wrong. There was a reason why Hanzei was conducting this horrific public display when he had never done so before. When he matched his furious gaze with the Hyuuga Elder, he saw it so very clearly: rage and displeasure.
"Did you honestly think," Hanzei lowered his voice, "that I wouldn't notice?" Pointedly, he turned his attention to a lone figure in the crowd.
Naruto's eyes went to where Hanzei was looking at and felt as though a bullet had struck him. There was Ayame. Even at this distance, he could see the profound sadness etched into her face. When their eyes finally met, she turned away with a slight shake of her head.
A shard of ice pierced Naruto's heart.
Hanzei's lips parted and in one swift moment, he gave a death sentence. " If you so much as think of leaving Hinata , that girl will pay for your mistake."
"You son of a bitch!" Naruto breathed in outrage. As soon as the words left his mouth, he seized Hanzei's arm and gripped it into a painful hold. He could feel how thinly the flesh clung to the radius and ulna; the bone was fragile, he could snap it in half easily. He didn't care that this was an old man. There was no allowance for courtesy at this point.
"Remember where you are, Seventh." Hanzei murmured, not even perturbed by Naruto's reaction. The crowds were still going wild. "You are standing in front of the entire village. Your credibility is at stake. Kill me, you will prove to everyone that you are indeed the monster that we thought you were."
"Leave Ayame out of this." Naruto said in a dangerous voice. "I'm the one you're supposed to fight. Don't involve her."
"Will you continue putting that healer in harm's way then?" Hanzei's eyes menacingly flashed. "If not, you will proceed according to plan. Your engagement still stands and you will marry my great-niece."
Naruto hardened his gaze. "Why," he asked venomously, "does this matter so much to you?"
"Because I am giving Konoha what it deserves: stability and continuity." Hanzei responded. "I have lived through five kages, boy. For as long as I've lived, this village has known nothingbut war and devastation because the Hokages were more interested in acquiring more power for themselves. Our leaders never thought of promoting internal peace by ending the clan factions.
"That ends today. You are the last, legitimate heir of the Senju. Hinata is the Hyuuga heiress. Your marriage is the greatest embodiment of that goal. Through my house, we will govern Konoha and ensure its survival in the years to come."
"Your family," spat Naruto, "just buys up land without giving the villagers affordable housing, use the ministry money to get whatever they want, and steal every position they can get their hands on. And you call that 'stability'?"
"Your lack of foresight is woefully apparent. What proof do you have?" Hanzei responded with equal enmity. "The clans have always tried to gain central influence by marrying their daughters to the Hokage and maintaining a monopoly on regency positions. The First did not marry Lady Mito by accident. Neither did the Third or the Fourth. All of them chose their wives carefully and it wasn't for sentimental reasons. Besides, what better way to acquire power than by personally bonding yourself to a jinchuriki?"
"My father loved my mother!" Naruto said, furious.
"Your father only wanted to keep the Nine-Tails close to him." Hanzei icily replied. "He was not averse to using any tactic to make your mother believe in that lie and it worked well. You even believe it."
"What makes you think I'll listen to you?" Naruto's knuckles turned white as his nails dug into Hanzei's arm.
"Because if you don't, that wretched healer will suffer like no other." Hanzei savagely vowed. "No matter where she goes, I will find her. You may be a kage but you aren't omniscient, no, even you have limits. I have seen you fail before and I can make that instance happen again.
"Besides," Hanzei's voice dropped to an ominous tone, "it's not just that girl's life at stake. It's Hinata's too."
Blood drained from Naruto's face. He stared after Hanzei as though he hadn't seen anything quite like him before. "...she's your great-niece. You want me to marry her so why're you threatening to kill your own relative?"
"You forget that Hisashi left behind two daughters." Hanzei quietly disdained. "Hinata's loss would be a pity but I can easily replace her with Hanabi as your bride. Either way, an alliance with the Hyuuga is inevitable. So consider Hinata as collateral damage if you don't follow through with what I say or you'll have more blood on your hands."
An unholy anger blazed within Naruto like tumultuous flames bursting into a terrible expanse. He stood there, locked between Hanzei and Hinata, realising what a mess he fell into. The roar of the populace was dully ringing in his ears and he was only vaguely aware that the entire village was watching him. All this time, he had believed himself to be a free entity but now he was no more free and in control of his actions than a pawn on a chessboard. He had tried to break away from the boundaries and for his move, he was going to be punished for it, Hanzei would see to that. And he would penalize her….and Hinata…
Slowly, Hanzei removed himself from Naruto's grasp and lifted his withered, veined hand on the Hokage's shoulder in a mocking gesture of support. "Is that clear, Seventh?"
Inadvertently, Naruto's hands balled into fists.
"I can't hear you." Hanzei murmured.
"You'll never get away with this." Naruto spoke through clenched teeth.
Smiling, Hanzei turned to Hinata and in one smooth motion, he joined the couple hand-in-hand. At the sight, the people sent another high cheer.
Wordlessly, Naruto and Hinata looked down at them from their great height. The afternoon sun shone behind them, alighting their frames in golden light. Their friends were all shouting, laughing, clapping in happy acclaim.
But his eyes were elsewhere and as he searched through the crowds, they came to rest on a lone woman. He bore his gaze onto her as his hatred for himself rose to an unbearable zenith. Then as if to answer him, he saw Ayame turn away.
Resolutely, she walked from the courtyard, disappearing into the horde of villagers and finally vanishing out of his sight.
