Don't Want to Resist You
By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles
Chapter 9: Poison
Casey was woken early the next morning by the sudden realization she was cold. Her eyes slowly opening, she realized the bed sheets were only half covering her, the rest lying on the floor, as Alex lay on her side, scrapping through her bedside draw looking for aspirin.
Casey rolled over. "Can't you stay and keep me warm?" she asked, her hand caressing her back just under her shirt. "Don't tell me you have to go? It's Saturday!"
"I don't think I'm going anywhere ever again, my head is going to explode."
Casey sat up, wrapping her arms around her from behind and resting one against her forehead. "Awww! My poor girl. My hands are usually a little chilly. Is this helping?" she asked, resting her head on her shoulder and holding her close.
Alex rested back against her with a relieved sigh, then gave a groan and turned around, burying her head under a pillow when her alarm went off.
Casey reached across from her, hitting the top to silence it before snuggling back up to her. "It's okay. I turned it off you," she said, moving her long locks to kiss her neck. "Come back to me, my girl."
Alex lifted the pillow a little, resting her head on Casey's shoulder. "I didn't do anything embarrassing last night, did I?"
Casey kissed her nose and wrapped her arms around her. "Not that I'm aware of. Well, okay...one thing I-I guess. You were a little tipsy when you got home and...tried to unzip my top..."
Alex groaned and nestled her head into Casey's neck. "I hope I didn't see anything, I'd prefer to be sober for that."
She shook her head. "N-no I stopped you. It just surprised me...a lot and..."
"Sorry." Alex kissed her cheek, taking Casey's cool hand to lay on her forehead once more.
"I know, but Alex, promise me you won't get falling-down drunk, at least not without me?" She bit her lip. Why did last night's actions make her so uncomfortable? They shouldn't. She knew Alex...she wasn't like that. "It shouldn't bother me. You were a bit tipsy. I stopped you, but..."
"But?"
She shook her head. "Never mind. I shouldn't have brought it up. What should we do today?"
"Tell me." Alex dropped a kiss to her cheek, then to the corner of her mouth.
Casey sat up, turning away. "I'm going to go make some coffee. Do you want some?" she asked, wrapping the discarded sheet around her with her back to Alex.
Alex stayed where she was, reaching out a hand to touch Casey's back. "I love you."
Casey nodded, turning toward her tears coursing, taking her hand. "I know. I love you too," she said, kissing her hand. She should've walked away, but she didn't want to. She wanted to tell her, but it seemed like a severe insult to even assume it.
"Tell me, Case. It's ok."
She shook her head. "No its not. Because I'd be assuming the worst, that you're like the scumbags we—and I can't do that. You-you're so gentle, sweet and kind and-and I just can't..."
Alex's hand hesitated, but then continued it's gentle rub on her back. "I would never force myself on you, even when I'm drunk. Had I drunk anymore, I would have just fallen asleep or started crying and telling you how much I love you. The other reason I was even thinking about it was because I'd sat there for 3 hours thinking about what we'd done in the office yesterday."
Casey smiled, wiping her eyes and moving into her lap. "I know, but...I'd just never seen you like that and it scared me. I know, sober, you'd talk me up o-or kiss me like you did in your office yesterday. It was wrong to assume it...I've just had a few bad experiences. Men and them being stronger. I was able to get away, but sometimes, only just. That's why those past relationships were so brief. The next day they'd call and ask what happened, when I'd explain it, they'd deny it or say 'it was all in good fun'. Needless to say, I changed my number quite a few times," she said, wrapping her arms around Alex's neck.
Alex wrapped her arms around Casey, dropping a kiss to her head. "I'm sorry. How about I don't drink for a while, hmm? Unless we're together."
She held her tighter. "Sounds good," she said into her shoulder.
"Now, could you please make me a coffee and look to see if there are any aspirin in the bathroom? Pretty please?"
Casey smiled, tying the sheet tighter around herself before she stood. She walked into the bathroom, grabbing two aspirin from the bottle in the cabinet and a glass of water and taking it to her. "Here you go," she said, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Alex swallowed them, taking a sip of water before dropping a gentle kiss to Casey's cheek once more.
"Care to come out to the living room with me? I'll make you some coffee," she said taking her hand as she stood up again.
Alex stood up with her and followed her out.
Once in the living room, Casey let go of her hand and walked into the kitchen to start the coffee before walking back out to sit beside her on the couch. "So, what do you want to do today?"
"Spend the day apologizing?" Alex tucked some hair behind Casey's ear and stroked her face gently.
"I-I could go for that. What would that entail?" she asked, resting her head on her shoulder.
"Hmm, breakfast at an amazing cafe. A walk in the park, holding hands, a visit to the aquarium..."
Casey smiled, lifting her head and kissing her softly, but she really didn't want to quit. She pulled back when she needed air. "God, I'd love to spend an entire night doing that, your arms wrapped around me, but I really like your idea. You can tell me all about the sea horses," she said hugging her tightly.
Two hours later, they were sat in a cafe, and Alex was on her third coffee of the day, and was looking at Casey's cooked breakfast with a crinkled nose before taking a bite of her dry toast.
"What?" Casey asked, stabbing her pancakes with her fork before cutting them. "I could've ordered something else."
"Just feeling a bit...queasy. Remind me not to kiss you for a few hours."
Casey put her fork down, resting her hand on Alex's knee under the table, looking at her with genuine concern as her brows became knit together. "Is it from the food or aren't you feeling well?"
Alex scrunched her face once more as the waiter passed the table with a fried breakfast. "Hangover."
"Figures. Look, we can leave if you don't feel up to this, Alex. I don't mind."
Alex shook her head, squeezing Casey's hand under the table. "Once we're out in the fresh air and everyone is looking admiringly at the woman I'm with, I'm sure I'll feel fine again."
"Are you sure you'll be okay while I finish eating?" she asked with a raised brow.
Alex nodded, then paled and as another waiter came past with a plate of leftovers. A moment later she was dashing past everyone to get to the bathroom before she was sick.
Casey dropped her fork and followed her, not caring that people were staring with grossed out looks or whispering.
Alex only just made it to the sink before she was sick, her face matching the color of the white tiled room.
Casey pulled her away and to a stall, pulling her hair back and tying it before cleaning up the sink, barely managing not being sick herself. Then she sat beside Alex, rubbing her back and noticing she was shaking. "It's going to be okay, Lex," she whispered into her ear, "I promise."
"I haven't b-been sick in years. I only had a couple of glasses."
"Shhh, don't talk. You were probably just weren't feeling good from what I said and that, combined with an empty stomach, isn't a good combination," she replied. "You told me you drank as much as you had to in order for her not to buy another. Maybe you had more than you thought."
Alex shook her head then took a deep breath, resting against her. "I had...oysters and something else too."
Casey wrapped an arm around her. "Well, whatever you had caught up with you," she said, holding her hand. "How do you feel now?"
"A bit better. Sorry."
Casey shook her head, kissing her cheek. "It's not your fault. Do you think you can walk yet? To get to a cab so we can go home?"
"What about the aquarium? I should be ok now." Alex stood, but then gave a groan and leant on the wall as the color drained from her face once more.
Casey grabbed her and leaned over the toilet as she retched again. "You're not well enough, sweetie. We can go another day. You need to get into bed. I'll take care of you," she said while rubbing her back.
"I can just get a cab home. You can go and do...whatever it is you do on a Saturday, which I still haven't asked you about."
Casey shook her head, rubbing her cheek. "No, sweetie, you really don't look good. Let me take care of you. I don't mind as long as I'm with you."
Alex nodded her head, suddenly too tired to talk, and rested it on Casey's shoulder for a few moments until she shrugged it gently and led her out to get a cab.
Casey calmly asked for the manager and told him about the incident in the bathroom which he was very understanding about.
She paid the bill and walked out with Alex leaning on her shoulder. They hailed a cab and were at Alex's apartment within twenty minutes. Casey opened the door and led Alex to the bathroom, sitting her next to the toilet before going back to close and lock the door. Quickly, she searched the kitchen cupboard, finding the Ginger Ale, grabbing a cup and going back to Alex.
Alex was in the process of telling her ringing phone to shut up, struggling to get it out of her jacket pocket with sweaty hands that didn't seem to want to cooperate.
Casey set the objects on the floor, grabbing Alex's phone, seeing it was Liz and shutting it off. "It's okay. You just worry about feeling better." Casey grabbed the objects, pouring Alex a cup and handing it to her before grabbing her own cell phone and calling Liz back. "Drink," she told Alex.
Alex took a sip closing her eyes.
After one ring, Liz answered, her bark weaker than usual. "Novak? What do you want?"
She sighed. "Out of curiosity, why did you call Alex a moment ago? We were going to go over a case, but when I got here, she was extremely ill. She told me you two went out for a bit last night."
Liz groaned. "Oh god, I was hoping it hadn't happened to her as well. I've got food poisoning, as does the other person we were out with."
Casey's eyes shot to Alex, who was holding the lid and vomiting hard. "Well, that explains it. If I'm not in on Monday... Liz, she's so sick. She can barely move. I'd just...feel better if she wasn't alone. I'll try and be in if possible. Although, according to my arrangements that doesn't sound good, I know."
"It's fine, I'll...sort something out. Call me Monday." Liz hung up the phone.
Casey closed her phone, setting it on the counter. She moved back to sit beside Alex rubbing her back. "Honey, you've got food poisoning. You need to take it easy. Liz said she and the other person you were out with got it too," she stroked her cheek. "I just arranged to stay home on Monday if you're still this sick. You're going to be okay."
Alex just groaned, rested her forehead on the cool glass Casey had given her.
Casey slowly peeled Alex's coat from her, hoping being cooler might help. Then she dug in the bathroom closet, wet a cold rag, rung it out and handed it to her. "Sit back. I'll pull your shoes off."
"No I'm fine. I can do it. I'm ok. You don't need to help."
Casey held her hands. "Sweetie, let me. I know you're strong, brave, independent and sexy, but, right now, you're whiter than a sheet. You need to take it easy so you don't get sicker. I want to help you."
Alex sighed, then after a moment, gave a nod. "Ok. Thank you."
Casey smiled, straightening Alex's legs and pulling her shoes off, then her socks. She sat beside her, resting her chin on her back. "Do you need more Ginger Ale?"
Alex shook her head. "Just want to go to bed."
Casey helped her up, draping her arm over her shoulder as they walked into her bedroom. She sat her on the bed and Alex laid back. Casey pulled the comforter over her, sitting on the edge.
Alex closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before opening them and glancing at Casey, managing a small smile. "You must really like me."
She smiled, taking her hand and kissing it. "Why do you say that?"
"I can't say I've ever hung around when someone was being sick, no matter how much I liked them."
Casey chuckled quietly. "Well, until I saw you again I didn't know I would either," she said, lying beside her after placing a trash can by Alex's head, "but, hey, you do crazy things for love, right?"
Alex smiled again, letting her hand slide into Casey's, and a few moments later, she was fast asleep.
Casey just sighed, rubbing Alex's hand as she fell asleep herself.
Casey walked into her office after a particularly tough case. Alex was never around anymore, too preoccupied with her cases. She sighed, never thinking that would happen. Suddenly she heard someone walk in and looked up.
Mark walked in with a smile. "Hello, little lady. I've got your daily coffee." He put it down on her desk.
She sighed, defeated. "Thanks. Hey, have you got time to talk?"
"For you? Always." He sat opposite her.
"It's just...the person I was seeing has suddenly...lost interest." The next sentence brought acid into her mouth. "Is that offer still good?"
"Dinner? Sure!"
A few months had gone by and Alex hadn't heard anything from Casey, mainly because she'd been so busy with cases. Sighing, she walked to Casey's office, preparing to apologize, but what she heard and saw was anything but pleasant.
She stopped in the doorway. Was Casey...with...Mark? No. No. She wouldn't. She said she loved me. Alex took a step back, knocking into someone, making Casey look up.
Mark walked closer to Casey, grabbing her 'round the waist and kissing her neck to make her giggle as he picked her up and set her on her desk. "M-Mark! W-we can't, not here! St—" she moaned, feeling him sucking on her neck. "D-don't stop!" she clawed at his back. "So much…"
Alex tried to walk away, but she couldn't move, her feet were just stuck to the spot, and she felt tears pricking her eyes. "Casey? Casey?"
Suddenly she was soaked in sweat, and aware that she was no longer stuck, but falling.
"Alex?"
Her eyes flew open and she saw Casey looking down at her with concern.
"Alex, honey, what's the matter?" she said, rolling toward her and wiping her tears. "Do you feel sick again?"
"No. I feel fine. I'm ok now. I'm sorry about before. We can go out now. Let's go out." Alex swung her legs from the bed.
Casey sat up on her knees, hugging her from behind. "You may feel better, but something upset you," she said, kissing her shoulder. "Please tell me. You can tell me anything."
"...Maybe you should leave. Yeah. You should go."
Casey moved and sat beside her. "Honey, you're sick. Whatever happened was a delusional nightmare brought on by food poisoning. I'm not going anywhere. Please, Alex, I'll do whatever you want. I love you. Any other person can get the fuck off our case." She sat on her knees in front of her. "I'm never, ever, ever leaving you. I'd rather die." She bit her lip. "Tell me what happened and I'll make it go away."
"Casey, we've only been together...what, two weeks? We've only known each other...2 months at most. You can't say that."
Casey took her hands. "Yes I can. I feel it in every bit of my soul. Every beat of my heart. I never want to go away from you. That night...I just wasn't myself until you started texting me, then I felt like I could do anything. I know you're scared. I am too, but we're never going to be able to overcome it unless you tell me what's going on. Tell me what to do. You look like you're about to fall to pieces," she sat beside her again, wrapping both arms around her. "You're my girl, no one else's. I'll always love you. I told you what happened last night and I was terrified to tell you, but you accepted it. Now tell me, please? I'll sit here all night to reassure you. You know I will."
Alex glanced at her, then reached out a shaking hand to take a sip of water before quietly recounting her dream.
Casey sat, holing her tightly and listening intently. "I don't care how busy we get with our cases. We'll make the time. Just like we have been. I have no physical attraction to Mark that can't ever be overcome by looking or thinking about you, That being said, I have no attraction to him whatsoever. Alex, in these short two months, you've taken my heart and healed it with everything you are. How can I not love you for that?" she asked, stroking her cheek. "My Alex, my one and only girl."
As Casey spoke the last words, Alex shot up from the bed and raced to the bathroom.
Casey followed her, holding her hair back and pouring her a half cup of Ginger Ale.
As she sat back, Alex gave a small laugh. "Sorry, Mark makes me physically sick."
Casey smiled, sitting beside her, entwining her fingers. "Still think it wasn't because of food poisoning?"
"I don't even want to think about food." She sipped at the ginger ale, resting against Casey a little.
Casey sighed. "I love you Alex Cabot and I'll do whatever you want if it makes you happy. But...don't ask me to stop loving you. That's the one thing I can't do. My heart won't let me."
Alex smiled, rubbing Casey's arm. "I guess...we both have a lot to learn about each other, and a few more insecurities to overcome. In the mean time, I don't suppose you'd mind watching really bad TV with me on the couch under a warm blanket?"
Casey smiled, hugging her lightly. "Anything. As long as you're sure you still don't want me to leave?"
"Positive."
Casey kissed her on her nose before pulling back and standing up. "You stay there. Where are your extra blankets?"
"Ah...your guess is as good as mine."
Casey nodded, walking out of the room, but turned around. "I love you, Alex."
"…I love you too."
Author's Note: What do you think?
Seriously guys, 125 reviews for under 10 chapters? I love all of you soooooooo much!
This story is far from over, so please keep it up!
Beta'd by: me
Many review thanks to: Naz, LOCISVU. steple, Tripperz, Surfrider, Mackster, Tracer, Madds21, Madds21, Nobot4life, Lexie, Wigler, Stussy, Blitz1030, Cavak, Butterscotch & Tummer22
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Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles
