Blind Ambition

Chapter IX "Ambition"

lLlLlLlLlLl

Bang.

Riza tossed aside her worthless empty pistol and reached for the extra one in her hip holster. Taking aim at the target she made on a tree fifty yards away she imagined him. She pulled back the trigger until the gun clicked empty. She replaced the clip with a fresh one and began to shoot again. A continuous cycle past until the target she made was so severely covered with holes it fell off the trunk.

Teeth clenching, Riza tossed the gun aside and reached down for a rifle. Taking aim on a random tree she continued to empty its clip. Despite the rain in her eyes, she was able to easily ignore the water. The thunder roaring above her was muffled by the continuous shots of her weapons. However, thunder wasn't the only thing that was drowned out by the noise.

"Ms. Hawkeye!"

Oblivious to the voice, Riza continued to shoot at the trees. Shooting was always the best solution for her to blow off steam. Only in this case, her stress wasn't caused by trivial demands of work. No, shooting trees and imagining them as him was the only thing that kept Riza in one piece.

"Ms. Hawkeye!"

Ears perked, Riza caught the shout just before she pulled the trigger again. Turning, she saw Lieutenant Ross standing behind her.

Eyes narrowing, Riza dropped her empty clip and inserted a new one. Turning her head back to another tree, she fired the rifle again. "Its Mrs. Mustang."

Ross sighed. "My apologies."

Riza winced. With her rifle empty again she decided to take a short break. Her arms were shaking from hours worth of recoiling from the weapons. "Actually, I'm the one that should apologize." Sitting the rifle onto the floor, Riza leaned against a nearby tree. "Was there something you were going to tell me?"

"Yes, Lieutenant Colo–." Ross bit her tongue. It was still a habit to call Riza by her military title, but with her and Roy Mustang's sudden resignation, she always forgot to call Riza simply by her name.

Riza smiled weakly. She went through hell and back to receive that rank. But for other military personnel to object to her promotions merely because of her relationship with Roy. Growing angry again, Riza faced the tree she was leaning on. A white cloth was nailed to the trunk and it was covered with bloody smeared hand prints. She used this tree as a punching bag. Taking a fighting stance, Riza began to punch at the tree.

She wasn't an expert in hand to hand combat, but she merely taught herself enough to pack a punch when the time came where she didn't have a gun.

A lot of help that did for Roy.

Hissing, Riza punched the tree as hard as she could. She was finding it harder and harder to compose herself.

Lieutenant Ross cleared her throat. "I came to tell you that the train will be prepared to leave by tonight. Do you wish to return to Central? Or would you like to stay here?"

Riza remained silent for a moment. Her memories drifted back when she awakened the day after Roy died. She was in a bed surrounded by several military officers, including Lieutenant Ross and Sergeant Brosh, and Black Hayate.

Upon awakening, she was ill with a fever and bedridden for two days until she recovered. Maria Ross explained the small squads sudden appearance. Apparently, an emergency call was given out, its source in the town Riza and Roy resided in.

From what the military assumed, when the criminals attacked, one man was able to activate an emergency call from the small military building that served as the towns only security. Maria Ross and other officers were immediately sent to the source of the call.

Riza had explained the criminals ambitions. She explained their appearances, their alchemical form of attacks, everything. By the third day every person in the village was buried in its once small cemetery. By the fourth, Riza forced herself out of the room she rested in and blew off steam by shooting every single tree she spotted.

"I'll stay." Riza answered, finally. She thought of going back to Central. But what would she do there?

The military was her whole life. Her grandfather was in the military, as well as her father. She didn't have any family, no siblings and she never knew her mother. Her father was dead, and her grandfather was still in the military. She had no other skills, nothing attracted her.

She stopped punching the tree. Her wounded arm was starting to hurt, which was a signal that she had better call everything quits and rest. She had no reason to be in Central. To think of it, she had no reason to be alive.

"I can't just leave." Riza whispered. Then she looked up at the sky, blinking through the rain drops that landed on her face. "I can't leave him behind."

Lieutenant Ross nodded. She had no business in this town anymore. Once the Northern Military HQ received news about more alchemical criminals, they would be sending a squad of State Alchemists to protect the town in case the criminals decided to return. So Ross and a few of other officers were told to report back to Central.

"Well, I guess this is good bye then." Ross smiled weakly. When Riza looked at her she fell into a salute. "Take care, Lieutenant Colonel."

Riza winced again. "I'm not in the military anymore. I do not deserve that rank title."

Ross remained in salute with a stern look on her face. "To me, you do." Ending the salute, she smiled again. "If you change your mind, the train leaves at nine."

Pride failed to erupt in Riza. Before, she would have been proud to be called by her rank. To be recognized by another despite the fact that she was a mere citizen. A soldier to salute to a citizen. To be recognized as a superior. Yes, it would have felt nice. But all that Riza saw herself as was nothing but a failure. A dropout. A person that didn't deserve any recognition.

"Farewell." She told Ross' retrieving figure.

Thunder continued to roar from above and the rain grew heavier. Looking up into the sky again Riza thought, was the earth crying? Was Hughes watching, and cried for Roy's death?

Breaking into a sob, Riza fell on her knees. As thunder struck, Riza screamed.

There is someone I need to protect.

"Stop it." Riza cried, clutching her head.

As long as he pursues his goal, I will pull the trigger for that person.

"Stop!" Riza screamed again in unison with the thunder.

Panting, she looked up into the sky again. She failed him. She couldn't keep her promise. She couldn't protect him. Then she looked beside her at the rifle and several pistols. They had failed her. They were supposed to help her protect him. They failed.

"No." Riza whispered to herself. "I failed."

Talking to yourself is a sign of insanity.

"So I'm crazy. I don't care."

Climbing to her feet, Riza picked up one of her favorite firearms, the Browning Hi-Power, and stared at it for a moment. Truth was, it was one of her favorite guns. As she stared at it longer, she fell into a bitter laugh.

Only a fool intrusts their life to a weapon.

"And others." Riza answered.

She closed her eyes and rose her head before placing the barrel under her chin. There was nothing left. No reason to live.

The blonde kept her sobs at bay. If she's to greet Death, she wouldn't greet it with tears. Instead, she would greet it with open arms. The same open arms she wished Roy would be within. Swallowing, her finger squeezed the trigger.

Moments passed and no gunshot rang. There was nothing but the sound of thunder and distant voices of men boarding the train.

Damn it.

For years Riza never hesitated to pull a trigger. Never has she hesitated to kill someone.

That is why guns are better. Unlike knives and swords, there is no bitter sensation of seeing someone die.

Ignoring the voice, Riza used her other hand to hold the butt of the gun. Why couldn't she pull the trigger! Then she wondered, would Roy forgive her? Could she even face him in the afterlife after she failed to protect him? Shaking her head, Riza cocked the gun before placing it under her chin again.

She's not worth killing.

Eyes opening, Riza stared at the sky again. He was still alive. He could have killed her, freed her. He could have sent her with Roy together to the afterlife.

Is he not worth killing?

The void inside Riza's mind vanished. In return, a new feeling replaced itself. She couldn't kill herself, not yet anyway. Not with him still roaming around. He did not deserve to live. If she wasn't worth killing, he certainly was.

Placing the gun down, Riza rested her head on a tree and closed her eyes. Then a smile grew on her face. She'll do everything in her power to find him. And when she did she would get her revenge.

How? With another gun?

Frowning, Riza picked up her gun again. It failed her once before, it could fail her again. No, she wouldn't kill that man with a mere weapon. She'll fight fire with fire.

She'll kill him with alchemy.

With a new sense of ambition, Riza visited Roy one last time. With a final word of goodbye, Riza sprinted towards the town's small train station and barely managed to board it as it began to move. Well if it hadn't been for Sergeant Brosh, whom opened the door for her, Riza would have missed the train.

"Changed your mind?" Lieutenant Ross asked.

Riza nodded. "There is one last thing I have to do first. Or else I don't think I can ever face Roy again."

lLlLlLl