CHAPTER NINE: You're Mine, Beotch!

By 10PM, May had her apartment ready for an epic battle. At least, on the screen. Physical battles she was never adept and she really didn't want her apartment trashed. She had spent the better part of the day cooking and tidying up the space that would be used for smackdowns of biblical proportion. She would leave the turtles to pick what game they wished to challenge her on, and then she had every intention of whipping the shell right off them. She only hoped they weren't sore losers. That could be awkward.

Tap. Tap.

Tap.

Tap. Tap.

The familiar sounds of the persistent pigeon echoed in the shadowed room. May grinned, rushing to the window and throwing it open in invitation. One by one, four enormous shells slipped through the curtains. When they were inside, May closed the window and curtains and turned the lights on brighter.

All four were in their full gear. Weapons in scabbards, cords or strips of material wrapped around joints. Duct tape wound around legs or wrists.

"Disarm, guys," Leo called, removing his twin katanas and placing them near the window. "Don't want to cause any accidents."

Without protest the other three obeyed, placing their weapons near the exit. May stared wide eyed at the sharp, dangerous edges of the swords and sais. They were deadly. Fierce. Terrifying. She shuddered to think what it was like seeing the turtles wield such dangerous weapons.

"Thanks," she said with a shuddery breath. Leo smiled, his blue eyes twinkling. Her worries melted away. "I made a bunch of food, so I hope you're hungry."

"Always," Raph said, heading straight into the dining room. He sighed in pleasure upon finding the table covered in food, buffet style.

Mikey had zeroed in on the video game collection, his blue eyes bugging. "Want it. Want it. Have it. Need it. Want it. Will kill for. Need it. Need it. Will trade Raph for. Want it. Will voluntarily be a slave for a month to have." He hurried over to May, pulling her into a hug, his snout nuzzling her hair. "Marry me! Please, say you'll marry me and I can share your toys."

May giggled, "I don't... know..."

"Come on. Marry me and make me an honest turtle," Mikey said, not giving up. He was determined to get dibs on her game selection.

May drew back, staring up into Mikey's face with surprise. "You mean, this isn't real?" She flicked an edge of his shell. "You're not a real turtle?"

"Nope." He said sadly, then stage whispered. "It's a Lee Press On Shell."

May choked on her laughter. She loved Mikey's wit.

"What do you say?" Mikey persisted, ignoring the warning signs Leo was throwing his way. "Marry me."

"I can't," May pretended to be heartbroken. "I'm engaged to a stink bug on the first floor and I'm afraid he doesn't take rejection well."

Mikey's jaw hit the floor. Leo's too. Donnie was snickering while he read over the game titles. Raph snorted, entering the room holding two plates stacked high with assorted food.

"Really?" Leo asked Raph upon seeing the food.

"What?" Raph shrugged. "She said when we visit, we're welcome to anything."

"Anything?" Mikey perked up, sweeping May into his arms. "Well, I picked what I want."

Leo's grip on his shoulder prevented him from going anywhere. "Put her down, Mikey. Now." The last came out as a deep growl.

Mikey complied, his expression sheepish. "Okay, fine. I'll take the games. You get the girl."

Leo's glare was dangerous, but Mikey knew he wouldn't be throttled in front of a witness. He sauntered over to Donnie and tried to decide on a game. Donnie threw him a huff of disapproval.

"Sorry about that." Leo apologized, trying to ward off the heat in his cheeks. "Mikey doesn't realize he's not that funny."

"I'm adorable," came the shout from across the room.

"It's okay," May said, looping her arm around Leo's. Her smile was infectious. "I know he's full of shit. I don't take anything he says seriously."

"Oh yeah?" Mikey called, waving a game at May. "I'm going to kick your ass, honey."

May's eyes gleamed viciously. "Oh, bring it!"

Four hours later, the only one left standing was Mikey. He stared at the screen, his fingers working the controls in a furious pace, his tongue stuck between his teeth.

May was beside him in the exact same pose. With a final swing of her digital sword, she ran Mikey through, winning the game. She bounded up to her feet and did a little dance, her bony arms and legs flapping around haphazardly in her lavender tee and pink cargos. "Booyah, beotch!"

Mikey huffed, falling back on the sofa to stare at the ceiling. "I lost ... to a girl. I'll never live this down."

"We all did," Donnie called from the recliner. He was on his third helping of food, with no sign of getting full.

"Who's ready for another round?" May asked, grinning to each of her latest victims. Donnie held up a hand in surrender. Mikey was still suffering from defeat. Leo dusted the corn chips off his hands and volunteered.

"How about something that requires footwork?" he asked, picking out a game and laying out a mat that had arrows and symbols on it.

"And you're long legs don't give you an advantage?" May asked skeptically, standing beside of Leo and measuring her hip to his mid-thigh.

"Probably not," he grinned. "But my training invariably will. Now, let's begin."

Within five minutes, May was drenched in sweat, struggling to keep up. Her short legs twitched and danced to match the moves, but Leo's natural agility and ninja training gave him a massive advantage. When the game finally stopped, his score was twice as May's.

May panted, doubling over with palms on her knees. "Holy... shit. That...was intense."

Leo frowned, placing a hand on her back. "Are you alright? Your face is red."

"Exhausted," she said, falling to the couch and wiping her brow. "There's no way I can move like you."

"I can teach you," Mikey offered with a grin.

May laughed. "Yeah, I bet."

"My turn," Raph said, stepping up to Leo and sneering at his slightly shorter brother. "Reset. And put it on something... challenging."

"You're on," Leo said, resetting the game.

May rolled her head toward Mikey. "This is going to be interesting."

"Yeah, you should see them fight." When May looked alarmed, Mikey elaborated. "We only spar. Not really trying to hurt each other, though that does happen sometimes. But it's to hone our skills. We all challenge each other. Even Master Splinter spars with us."

"Scary," May said, watching in awe as Raph and Leo moved with lightening speed. The points racked up higher than she had ever seen them.

By the end of the game, both turtles were out of breath, but Leo was once again victorious. Donnie stepped up, reset the game and in a flash, the two were a blur of motion.

May marveled at their speed and strength. "Shouldn't Leo take a break? He's probably tired."

"Doubtful," Mikey said. "Leo's stamina outlasts all of us. Even Master Splinter can't keep up with him sometimes. Thought you'd already know that by now." He waggled his brow suggestively.

"Mikey," Raph warned, tossing a roll and hitting Mikey on the temple.

Mikey feigned innocence. "What, dude?"

Raph's expression was all it took. Mikey piped down.

Donnie bowed out gracefully, panting and dropping onto the recliner.

Leo faced Mikey. "Ready, mouth?"

"Dude! I already lost -to- a girl tonight! Don't make me lose in -front- of the girl!"

"Mikey forfeits," Leo said, turning the game off.

"So, who won the tourney?" Mikey asked. "Leo kicked everyone's ass this final game."

"But May held the title to all the others," Raph put in, smiling at the small red head. He didn't mind losing to her. It tickled him to watch her do her celebration dance. It didn't even bother him when she called him her 'beotch.'

"Yeah, May kicked our asses," Leo said, crossing his legs to drop onto the floor Indian style. "You won. So, what do we owe you?"

"How'd you get so good?" Donnie asked. He was impressed with the way she outmaneuvered each of them in their respective games.

"Always loved games," May said with a lopsided shrug. She smiled at Leo. "Hmm, never thought about payment."

"Do you need us to step outside so you two can decide on what you want to do?" Mikey asked, earning a hearty punch to the shoulder. "Ow, dude! That hurt!"

Raph pursed his lips, wanting to unleash a tirade but held his tongue.

"Look, I know what you're insinuating, Michelangelo," May said. Mikey knew he was in trouble because she used his full name. "But it's not like that. Don't embarrass Leo with such talk."

Mikey's shoulders drooped, crestfallen. But for only a moment. He broke into a wide grin and without warning, launched himself across the coffee table to land on top of Leo, wrapping his arms around his brother and filling the room with kissie noises.

"Oh, Bro! You know how much I love you." Mikey called, tumbling end over end with Leo. "Gimme a smooch!"

There was the sound of a light tussle, then Leo emerged victorious, straddling Mikey's midsection and pinning the smaller turtle into place.

"Are you quite finished, Mikey?" Leo asked, dropping his full weight on his brother to reiterate his dominance.

"Not really." Mikey waggled his brow. He leaned up, snapping his jaws at Leo's thigh.

Leo shifted slightly to stay out of the way of Mikey's teeth, but the motion was enough to allow Mikey a chance to free his hands. His fingers came up, pinching Leo hard on the undershell.

Leo bellowed, slamming his fists into Mikey's biceps. Mikey lost his grip, gasping from the explosion of pain.

"Guys!" Donnie yelled, getting their attention. He pointed to the floor. "May's neighbors could call the cops on us! Knock it off!"

"No one lives in the apartment below," May said, smirking at the two brothers now shoving each other on the floor. "Pipes broke about four months ago and the landlord is too cheap to pay for all new plumbing. So, it's empty." She jerked her head toward the door, "Apartment across the hall is empty and the elderly gentleman below that is hard of hearing, so there's no risk of you being heard."

"Dude." Mikey breathed, rising to put his snout right up on Leo's, blue eyes mirroring blue eyes. "We could have a bachelor pad!"

"NO!" Leo shouted.

Mikey puckered up and kissed his brother on the nose. Leo grabbed him by the scruff of his shell and pulled him away, disgusted.

"Don't be an idiot."

"Are you guys always like this?" May asked, amused. She and Vivian used to act the same way. Before she moved to the big city. She missed her family terribly.

"Always," Raph said, getting up with great reluctance. "It's almost five. We need to get going."

The other turtles whined. May yawned. She wasn't used to staying up all night. And unlike her favorite reptiles, she required several hours worth of sleep to function.

"Food's cleaned up and dishwasher is loaded," Raph said, heading toward the window and retrieving his sais. With a flick of his wrists they whirled in his hands and slipped easily into the scabbards at his sides.

May appreciated Raph's consideration. "Thank you." He dipped his head once and opened the window, waiting for his brothers. May dimmed the lights so Raph could open the curtains.

"Everything was delicious," Donnie said, collecting his bo and securing it to his back.

"This was awesome," Mikey said, muscling Donnie aside. "We need to do this again, babe."

May laughed. "Yes, it was awesome and we will totally do this again. That is, if I can think of anything to be a suitable reward for kicking your shell."

"I won't do dishes," Mikey said with a straight face.

Mikey grabbed his nunchakus and spun them through the air. Smirking, he rocked to one hip. Unfortunately such a position put him close to a table and with a loud clattering of ceramic, one of May's knickknacks went flying, shattering on the floor.

"Excellent job, numb nuts," Raph sighed in exasperation.

May moaned. "My mother gave me that figurine."

"Sorry. My bad," Mikey said, putting his nunchakus away and shying from May.

Leo bent, picking up the three shards that had once been a single ornament. He handed them to May. "Sorry about that. I'll give him extra time in the dojo for that."

"Oh man," Mikey whined.

"It's okay. Accidents happen," May said dismissively, accepting the broken pieces to dispose of them.

"No, they don't. Not to ninjas." Leo gave Mikey a reproving glare. "We must be careful, alert to our surroundings at all times, especially when our weapons are involved."

Mikey had the good grace to blush in shame.

Leo slid his katanas into their sheaths. "Thank you for an entertaining evening."

May smiled. "Your welcome. And we're definitely going to do this again. Though next time, I'm putting all breakables out of Mikey's reach."

Mikey's blush faded into amusement.

"Good night, err, morning," Leo said, gesturing for his brothers to exit. As Leo was easing through the window, May called.

"Leo?"

He poked his head through the curtains. "Yeah?"

"Stay safe."

"Yes, Ma'am," he said, then he was gone.