A/N: At first I was disappointed when I saw that I only have four reviews for the previous chapter but then I realized I must have killed you with all the fluff I threw your way so that explains it. Now, it's crucial you come back from the dead and read this chapter because this is the chapter where shit gets serious. Brace yourselves, friends!
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
'Pink ribbons'
Chapter 9: The white tuxedo
He sighed softly as he looked at himself in the mirror. Really, he had no idea why it was so important for him to have a white tux. He looked way better in his three-piece-suits, and wasn't that the whole point in this? Why was his Teresa allowed to look her best but he wasn't?
Okay, he knew why, her being the bride and all... it still wasn't fair. He softly chuckled to himself. Yes, he was truly the woman in their relationship and she was the man. Then again, that was exactly what made their relationship work.
"Looks good," Rigsby said. Jane turned around towards the two men sitting on the cream-colored couch in the middle of the classy room.
"But you're not my best man so I won't listen to you."
Cho averted his eyes but Jane saw he was trying to suppress a smile. Rigsby's jaw dropped and he was ready to get up – a brisk movement of Cho's arm stopped him.
"Don't go; he's just playing you."
Jane shrugged and turned back towards the mirror. He straightened the collar of his shirt and messed around with the jacket a bit.
"You asked for my opinion when you invited me, so you're getting it."
"I know," Jane acknowledged. "Thanks."
He looked at his reflection again. He wondered what Teresa was doing now. He didn't know if she had a fitting today for her dress. It would be weird, considering she was heavily pregnant now and they wouldn't get married before she had given birth. In any case, Grace had been in their home right before he had left them – she was dropped off by Rigsby, surprise – so she and Teresa had plans.
"Is the dress code seriously white, though?" Rigsby asked. Jane nodded.
"Yup. Teresa's request. Although I don't think it's only her idea, her Maid of Honor probably had something to do with it as well."
"I wouldn't be surprised."
Jane smiled. He was glad Teresa and Grace were this close. They had always been but ever since Red John had been defeated, the two were inseparable. A lot of things they did together – they even went to Benjamin's doctor together (coming back all laughing since the doctor had been completely flabbergasted at two women suddenly visiting her with a boy who had previously visited with a man and a woman).
This team only got stronger with the day.
They suddenly heard two voices coming from the hallway, and if the way Rigsby and Jane's hearts both drastically started beating faster could be of any indication, they both knew who were there.
The door opened and the first person to enter the room was Grace – followed by his woman.
Her expression changed just as dramatically as his, as though having legs of pudding was suddenly contagious. She looked at him from his head to his toes and back, a small, gentle smile gracing her lips. She put a hand on the small of her back and slowly walked towards her – her other hand rested on her belly. The belly that was getting way out of hand. She was pregnant for almost eight months now and she still had a month to go but it already looked as though she was going to explode any given time. It looked great on her, that wasn't the point, but Jane had come to the conclusion that this most certainly could not be healthy.
And neither was her stamina the past few weeks. The bigger her belly grew, the paler she got and the more she panted with a lot of exertion. She was getting weaker and some moments, she would just not smile. It were moments where she probably assumed he wasn't looking, but he saw it anyway. He had always seen the true side of her.
This was exactly what her doctor had warned her about – not getting chemotherapy would mean big threats for her health, possibly even her life. The cancer had retreated a bit in the early stages of her pregnancy but now that she was getting closer and closer to the actual delivery of their wonders, it saw its chance and fought her body again. It made his fear return with a painful blow.
"Hey there, Handsome," she said with the same gentle smile still gracing her lips. "What's a gorgeous man like you doing here, all alone?"
He frowned at her, his interest peaked. It looked almost as though she was flirting with him. What was she getting at? Whatever game she was playing, he was definitely interested.
"Nah. Got some friends over there," he answered while pointing at the guys sitting on the couch.
"What about a lady friend?" she asked. He raised an eyebrow. If you would look into my eyes, you would see my lady friend, my love.
He shrugged. "None, at the moment. Why? Interested?"
She straightened and rubbed her belly with both hands now.
"You think I got this thing with some magic, Pal?"
"I was hoping, yeah."
Now, she was surprised. "What do you mean?"
"Well... I hope this baby's daddy did a great job at pleasing its mummy. If... you know what I mean."
She blushed but did a good job at covering it up, he had to give her that.
"Yeah, he did. These babies', actually."
"Two?" he asked, feigning surprise.
"Yeah."
"Congrats."
"Thanks."
"Okay, what are you doing?" Grace interrupted. He and Teresa turned towards her. He almost giggled, he wasn't sure what the sound that escaped his mouth actually was but it sounded close to a giggle.
"Oh, just having fun until you interrupted," Jane stated, casually. Grace glared at him but turned towards Rigsby. Teresa smiled at him again. She went on tip-toes while leaning against him – she had to otherwise she would trip – and kissed his soft lips.
"Doesn't it bring bad luck if the bride sees the groom in his suit before the actual wedding?"
She rolled her eyes. "That's the other way around, idiot."
He faked his surprise again. "Really?" He paused. "I didn't know. That's... really?"
She smacked his chest while laughing. "Stop it."
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him – well, her belly, that is, since it prevented basically any form of close contact at any given moment.
"How are you?"
"Nothing much has changed since the last time you called me, hmm, let's see, ten minutes ago?"
"I dunno, something could be wrong. You never know."
"I know... I'm fine, Patrick, really. Now," she said, stepping away from him again, "let me have a better look at you."
He made a show of posing and showing off his good features for her.
Yet when he turned back to her with a big smile, he saw she was looking pale, paler than she had looked over the past few days, minutes even.
"Teresa?"
She looked at him, her eyes not focusing on his and the ground underneath his feet fell apart. Her eyes fluttered shut and she collapsed to the floor, and he was just in time to catch her and put her on the cold tiles gently.
All these months, he knew this moment would come. He hadn't wanted it to happen, of course, who did? But things had gone so well in the better part of her pregnancy that he had actually sometimes forgotten about her illness.
His brain went into overload, thinking of what his best move would be now. The team was standing there in shock, staring at them. Eventually, he shrugged off his jacket, throwing it somewhere but he didn't care and put his arms underneath Teresa's frame, lifting her into the air and out of the room. The guys followed as well as Grace, but none of them asked him any questions. They just went along with what he was doing. For some reason, he was feeling very calm – the emotional rollercoaster would probably start when he didn't have control over the situation any longer.
By the time they arrived at the hospital, he noticed he was crying. Dried up tears were already situated on his chin so he had been crying for a while now. People instantly flew across the hallway to assist him and without discussing anything with him, they took her away from him.
Fresh tears were streaming down his cheeks, accompanying his crying heart. He stared at the door for what felt like an eternity until Grace led him to a chair and made him sit down. She poured him a glass of water and sat beside him, reassuring him.
Nothing could be done to make him feel more at ease. His Teresa was out there somewhere, all alone, and he had no idea what they were doing to and with her right now. He had to go see her, look for her, she needed him-
"It's going to be fine, Jane, I promise," Grace whispered close to his ear. He heard the tears in her voice and turned to look at her. She nodded, as though to answer his silent question and a small tear escaped her eye too. "I know."
Half an hour later, a doctor arrived with a clipboard underneath his arm. It was a doctor Jane had never seen in this hospital before, but then again, when he and Teresa had gone to the hospital, it had been to the oncology and gynecology wards.
"Family for Teresa Lisbon?"
Jane jumped up. The doctor looked him straight in the eye. Neither of them said anything, and as though the doctor had been able to see who Teresa's children's dad was by looking at the amount of tears on their faces, motioned for Jane to come with him. When the doors to the waiting room closed behind them, the doctor started explaining while they continued their way through endless hallways past sobbing people and screaming children.
"We are aware Teresa had been warned of the dangers of continuing her pregnancy, but she still kept the baby. Well, babies."
Jane nodded.
"Good. Well, she hasn't received any treatment for her cancer in the past few months which has made it worse. I'm sure you've noticed but the lump in her breast has grown horrible since the last time and I'm afraid this had only been a small preview to what was going on inside her body. From what we've seen, the cancer has almost reached her lungs and heart. It's advancing drastically, her hormones making it even worse. At this stage, I have no choice but to bring your children to the world now." The doctor read Jane's fear with no trouble at all and quickly continued. "From what we've seen, your children are perfectly healthy and they can survive outside the womb. But as I said, at this stage, we have to ensure Teresa's safety, even if it's against all of her wishes."
"How is she now?" Jane asked. The doctor sighed, then reluctantly explained more.
"She's unconscious, and we better keep it that way. We'll get the babies with a C-section, give her a few hours to rest and then continue with her treatments."
"But... what about breastfeeding?"
"She can still do that but..." The doctor hesitated again. Not a good sign.
"But what?" Jane was getting impatient, he needed to see her.
"But we'll have to remove her left breast."
Oh, to hell with it. He had feared this for so long but now it seemed like removing her breast still wasn't enough.
"Yes, do it, anything to save her."
"It means that she can't breastfeed both of them at the same time and she'll have to take it very easy."
"Yeah, sure, I realize that. We'll find a way to make it work. Now do it."
"Are you sure?"
"Do it!"
The doctor hurried away and Jane was left all on his own in the hallways – knowing that somewhere, his Teresa was alone too. He couldn't go back to the team, mostly because he had to find Teresa but also because he didn't remember the way back anymore. He had been so occupied with catching up with the doctor that he hadn't paid any attention to their surroundings.
Deciding he had nothing to lose, he went looking for the love of his life, determined to support her when no one else did. Eventually, he found her, after peering into countless of rooms with tears in his eyes.
She was lying in a room full of nurses and doctors all rushing to get their work done. Some heads turned towards him as he entered the room but most people didn't even notice him coming in.
"What are you doing here? You're not allowed to be here!" a nurse shrieked. He didn't pay attention but walked to the bed Teresa was in – her eyes closed, so she was indeed unconscious. They had already hooked her up to tubes and monitors, fluids being pumped into her body without his consent.
He brushed her cheek and shuddered when he felt her cold skin. It almost looked as though she was... he shook his head.
"Teresa," he whispered. "My dear Teresa."
"Excuse me, but who are you?" He turned towards the nurse who was trying to get his attention. "We need you to get out of here, Sir-"
"When will she have a C-section?"
"In a few minutes, they're preparing her now."
He looked down at Teresa again. He bowed down and kissed her lips, softly.
"Sir!"
"I want to be there."
"You can't-"
"I'm the father. I want to be there when she gives birth to our children."
The nurse was shocked to say the least and stared at him. Then, he read in her eyes that she pitied him and she sighed.
"I have to ask for permission first."
He nodded and watched her walk away. She returned within mere seconds with a doctor close behind her.
"You must be Mr. Jane," he said and shook Jane's hand. "It said in Teresa's file to beware of you but I never understood why. Guess I found out now."
"Will she survive?" Jane asked, grabbing hold of Teresa's small hand.
"Giving birth? Most certainly. But we're not sure about the cancer. You've been informed, you know about our suspicions and our plans."
Jane nodded.
The doctor raised his arm and looked at the watch around his wrist. His eyes crossed with Jane's and nodded. "It's time."
~...~
"Mr. Jane."
He kissed her cheek, over and over again, tears streaming down his face. Over the sound of shrill crying, he heard her heart beating on the monitor. The best sound he had ever heard in his entire life. It was better than hearing her voice after he'd heard the gunshot that had killed Red John, far better than hearing her in the throes of passion. Far better than any sound he had ever heard before.
She was still alive. And still unconscious. She hadn't experienced one minute of the birth of their babies. She would most likely wake up days later with her belly empty once again and one of her breasts removed.
"Mr. Jane," the voice said again, this time softer. He brushed his fingers over Teresa's soft lips and nodded for the voice to continue.
"Do you want to cut the cord?"
"No, I'm staying here."
And then, the voice was gone again.
"I'm so sorry, Teresa..." he whispered close to her ear. If he hadn't gotten her pregnant, she would have continued her treatment and she wouldn't be in such danger.
All around them, doctors were rushing around and doing stuff he didn't see the relevance in, until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around, first angry at them trying to intrude this moment but the words died on his tongue as he saw what they had tried to get his attention for.
"They're waiting for you," the nurse whispered, and she handed him one tiny ball of blankets and rosy skin. They waited until he was holding the baby properly before handing him the other. The nurses smiled gently at him and then left.
He looked down at the by now sleeping babies. And he cried for he wanted Teresa to be conscious, to experience this moment with him, to hold their offspring, their beautiful children.
"Mr. Jane, we'll bring Teresa to a room now so she can rest. It's best if you watch over your babies for the time being, somewhere more peaceful."
"But I can't leave Teresa alone-"
"It's not going to be of any use if your babies keep crying while she needs to rest. You'll get to visit her, I promise."
And just like that, with a nurse by his side, he was escorted out of the operating-room, still holding their babies.
A/N: So, you're dead again? Anyway, please stick around long enough to let me know what you thought! (And for the people wondering why I'm not having Lisbon remove her breast; all in good time. Don't worry about it!)
