josh was running around the house, blasting mariah carey and sprinkling the countertop with fake snowflakes.
christmas was right around the corner, and to say josh was excited was an understatement.
"tyler, what are you doing?" josh asked, hands on his hips as he shot me an incredulous look.
"what?" i looked up from my juice box.
"why aren't you helping? christmas is friday and we're so under-decorated!" josh huffed.
"josh, we have time."
"please take this tinsel and put it up." josh requested.
"yes, mommy dearest." i rolled my eyes, grabbing a chair from the kitchen and going towards the door. i heard the soft pats of josh's fuzzy sock-covered feet on the tile as he ran to the end of the hall.
"don't care about the presents underneath the christmas tree!" josh shouted.
i giggled at his silliness, and continued to put the shiny, red tinsel on top of the door. i nodded my head lightly to mariah, reaching as much as i could to get the tinsel on top of the door frame. it was then when i started to smell the pine incense josh was burning, and it bothered my nose, but i enjoyed smelling it at the same time.
the holidays always warmed my heart, despite the cold weather outside. it was a time to celebrate with your relatives and loved ones, and being with my family was the best part. i really didn't care about the small amount of gifts i got, just being with people who cared about me and drinking hot chocolate by the fire made me excited. we received seasons in ohio, and i could see the small flurries outside of the window in the kitchen collecting on the sill and on cars outside. it covered everything in a light sheet of white joy, and i smiled to myself.
i love the holidays. it was even better now that i had josh. i couldn't wait to wear ugly sweaters with him and give him presents, because everyone knows he deserves it the most.
when i was finished with the tinsel, i met josh in our room, leaning on the doorframe and watching him work. he grabbed one of the candy canes he was holding, bringing it to his mouth and lip syncing the lyrics to the song into it. he shut his eyes tightly and backed up, pointing at his imaginary audience. he swung his hips to the music, jumping on the bed and dancing like he was performing. he opened his eyes again, stopping his movements as he saw me.
"oh, hey!" he sat down on the bed, a pink blush tinting his cheeks. "here, have a candy cane!" he looked down at the red and white striped candy, then back at me, holding it out to me and smiling.
i walked over to him, smiling back. "what were you doing?"
"um..." his light eyes asked the ceiling for a thought. "i was decorating our room! duh!" he chuckled awkwardly, running a hand through his hair and getting up.
i put my hands on his chest, looking up at him.
"you're a terrible liar." i smirked.
"am not!" he whined like a three year old.
i glanced out the window, the snow falling a bit heavier and creating little dunes of snow on the sill underneath it.
"okay, well can you build a better snowman than me?" i challenged.
"you're so on. i'm so much better at making snowmen." he said.
like i said, terrible liar.
...
"josh, have you ever made a snowman before?" i asked.
he looked at his lump of snow, the stick in the wrong spot at the head bigger than the bottom.
"no." he pouted.
i went over to him, snow collecting on his hoodie, the cold making his nose red. i could see the small freckles that littered his nose clearly, and i noticed his eyes were a little lighter. he wasstunning.
"do you want help?" i asked again.
"yes, please."
i took his hand in mine, leading him to another spot outside to start fresh.
"okay, so you're just going to make a snowball." i said, packing snow in my gloved hands.
josh copied, making a snowball. he glanced at me, and then looked at the snowball. i knew exactly what kind of sneaky tricks were pooling around in his head, and i gave him a look that said don't even try.
i think josh is really bad at taking signals, because he launched the white ball at me, snow exploding off of my shoulder. he laughed loudly, clutching his stomach and falling in the snow. i glared at him, but i couldn't stop the grin from breaking my features as i saw his eyes crinkle and heard his laugh.
"i hate you." i shook my head, smiling slightly.
"you love me." he said, wiping his teary eyes and getting up.
"i don't." i brushed the snow off of my jacket.
"i love you." he snaked his arms around my waist from behind and kissed the spot behind my ear, burying his face in my shoulder.
my heart sped as he said this and my breath hitched, causing the fog to stop swirling around my face.
"wait, what?" i turned to face him.
he nodded, smiling as a red tint brushed over his cheeks.
"do you really mean it?" i asked, a blush adorning my cheeks, making my face even redder since i was cold. i turned to face him, looking into his eyes to find any source of a joke.
"i do. i love you, and i hope you love me back, otherwise this would be really awk-"
i cut him off, pressing my lips to his surprisingly soft ones, holding his face in my hands. it was light, but it still showed how i felt. i smiled into the kiss, pulling back slightly when i found myself giggling. i pressed my forehead to his, meeting his hazel eyes with my brown ones, rubbing my thumb across his pink-dusted cheek.
"i love you, too." i smiled.
he engulfed me in a hug, spinning me around and met my lips briefly. i squealed when i felt him fall back into the snow, breaking the fall like a sponge. i hid my face in his neck, not being able to control this silly grin i had on my face, but could you blame me?
josh loves me.
my heart beat fast at the thought, and my smile was broken as josh pressed his lips to mine again, each kiss feeling better than the last. maybe it was the knowledge that we love each other, or maybe it was the cold snow falling on top of us.
either way, it was special.
...
josh and i came back inside the house after manyfailed attempts at building a snowman, so we settled on watching a christmas movie a week before the actual holiday.
i rested my head on josh's chest, eyes glued to the screen.
"wait, tyler?" josh asked.
"yeah?" i looked up at him.
"why are we putting up decorations if i'm not going to be here?"
"oh, yeah." i had a deadpanned expression, completely forgetting about josh. "that's okay, let's just enjoy it while we can, okay?"
he nodded, kissing me once before holding me closer to him and watching the movie. i bit my lip unconsciously, searching the floor for an idea to stop worrying. josh wasn't even there yet and i was worried he'd get snowed in or something. his sister was sick, and he was scared she would get worse without someone there to watch over her. i was a bit bummed that he wouldn't be here for christmas, but family came first and i understood that.
plus, spending christmas with friends was fun as fuck, so i didn't mind.
"ty, stop stressing. we will be fine." he lightly rubbed my arm, kissing my hair.
"i know. i just don't want anything to happen to you." i sighed, probably sounding like a paranoid idiot.
josh rolled us over so that we were laying on the couch, both of his arms now wrapped around my body. i was really warm now, breathing in the faint scent of incense and the snow outside. i wrapped my fists in his t-shirt, snuggling into his chest.
"i will be fine. i promise." he said into my neck, causing goosebumps to rise on my skin.
i smiled slightly at the tickling sensation his breath caused, feeling bubbly inside that i was this closeto josh. we've cuddled before, but for some reason, this felt different.
"josh." i pulled back, running my fingers through his soft hair. he needed a re-dye soon.
"tyler."
"i love you." i smiled at how my mouth formed those words.
"i love you, too."
i'd miss him.
