A/N: Sorry for the delay but between working too much, work related stress and migraines, well, better late than never right? Please keep the comments coming, they really do make my day and inspire me!
A/N 2: the italics at the begining of the "Then" section indicates a dream sequence.
Now
(Fifteen Days to Go)
Laura stood and then held her hand out to help Carmilla back up. They studied each other a moment before Laura suggested; "Mouthguards?"
"Thought we were going to grapple?" Carmilla asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Better safe than sorry, right?" joked Laura as she left the cage to grab their mouthguards from their lockers. "So what are the rules?" she inquired when she returned and handed Carmilla hers.
"You tell me," Carmilla replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm; "Since everyone seems to be following your lead, I might as well too," she finished, this time her tone tainted by anger.
"Carm," Laura sighed.
"Save it," Carmilla cut her off. "I've already heard the excuses," she put her mouthguard in, "Go on then, what are the 'rules'?"
Laura studied her a moment, the sadness in her eyes almost making Carmilla break. Almost. Laura shook her head.
"Grappling is great but without good takedowns it's useless," Laura started as the walked over to the side of the cage. "We moved the timer so you don't need a third person," she provided. Carmilla walked to the opposite side of the cage as she waited for her to continue. "No hard hitting but takedowns and submissions, go full force."
"Really?" she questioned skeptically. "You really don't want to answer any questions, do you?"
"It's not a matter of want, Carm, it's of necessity," she said sadly.
"Wait," Carmilla shook her head and took her mouthpiece out. "All these rules, it's not because you're worried Deanna will find out I'm home, but because she already knows what you're hiding, isn't it?" she walked towards her. "And I do know you're hiding something," she studied her a moment, "I'm not sure that I care what it is, but I would like to know why."
It took a moment for Laura to formulate her answer; "I'll answer what I can, later, but only if it won't lead to questions I can't answer right now."
"Whatever," Carmilla replied tonelessly. "Show me what you've really got Creampuff."
"You sure about that?" Laura asked neutrally. "I wouldn't want to accidentally hurt you."
"You're already hurting me," Carmilla replied quietly. "What's a little physical pain?"
"I don't want to talk about this here," Laura answered and turned to hit the buzzer. "Later, okay?" Carmilla nodded once. "You ready?" She nodded again and watched as Laura started the timer. "Thirty-second delay," she added before putting her mouthguard back in.
Carmilla regarded the woman she loved as she waited for the buzzer to sound; she wasn't just being paranoid, she didn't know Laura at all.
The buzzer sounded and the two met in the middle of the cage. They circled each other for almost a full minute before Carmilla switched her stance and attempted the combination Laura had suggested, however when she tried for the takedown, Laura stopped her easily. Her arms still around Laura's middle she managed to push her back into the cage. They were grappling, each trying to get the takedown when Carmilla found herself being tossed to the ground. Before she could even respond, or attempt to get into a better position, she found herself tapping to a lightening fast armbar. She shoved Laura's legs off her and spat out her mouth guard.
"What the fuck was that?" she hissed.
"Judo hip toss?" Laura shrugged.
"Judo hip toss?" Carmilla mocked. "You studied Judo?"
"The last couple of years," she shrugged. "Can we go upstairs to talk?"
"Why can't we talk here?"
"Because someone is listening."
"We're alone," Carmilla pointed out with a glance around the gym.
"We mic'ed the gym ourselves after you left to try and figure who was helping Will," she supplied as she stood.
"But the gym is closed, surely no one is listening now."
"Perhaps," Laura shrugged, "but I'd still rather have this conversation upstairs."
"Fine," Carmilla sighed. "Can you teach me that hip toss first?"
Laura nodded and followed her out of the cage to the thicker mats. They spent the next twenty minutes practicing until Carmilla could perform the move with ease and then headed upstairs to their apartment in silence.
Carmilla grabbed a bottle of chilled white wine from the fridge before turning back to Laura only to find her looking apprehensive and sad.
"Carm," Laura started as she watched her open and then pour the wine, "I never wanted to lie to you, I hope you believe that."
"Then why?"
"I had no choice," she answered.
"So is everything I know about you is a lie?"
"No, most of Frank's background check was accurate."
"So Frank knows the truth but not me, lovely," Carmilla muttered. "Why act like you're a novice when it comes to fighting?"
"I was worried you'd feel threatened?"
"And you've been teaching me all along, haven't you?" Carmilla prodded.
"When did you figure that out?" Laura questioned.
"I watched some video of us when we first started sparring," she admitted. "I've also had a lot of time to think."
"Carm," Laura sighed as she walked over to her jacket and fished out a pack of smokes. She turned to face her. "For the last four weeks, every spare moment I've had, all I could think about is telling you the truth." She shook her head and looked down, her voice sad as she continued: "For better or worse, you'd know everything." She shrugged and looked up. "I do love you, Carm, that isn't a lie."
Carmilla took a sip of her wine as she approached her.
"I, better than some, understand hiding who you are," she started as she put her glass on the table beside Laura and took her arms in her hands. "And I was already starting to wonder how well I know you." She took the cigarettes from Laura's hand and put them aside so she could take her hands. "There's clearly a lot I don't know about you," she met her eyes and then searched them. "But I do love you," she shook her head and chuckled. "That's why you made me promise, to not give up on us, isn't it?" Laura nodded. "Well now I'm asking for one," Laura nodded again. "Promise me you'll never lie to me again?"
"I promise," she replied without hesitation. "For the record? I've done my best not to lie to you," she sighed and looked down. "And just because you don't know everything about me…"
"Doesn't mean I don't know you?" Carmilla finished for her. "I know," she smiled and kissed her softly. "I keep my promises, Laura, I always will," she smiled. "My life, everything, it's gotten so much better since I met you." She kissed her. "I'm not an idiot, I know you're responsible," she shrugged. "Maybe more than I thought." She regarded her a moment. "What can you tell me about last night?"
"Almost everything," she sighed. "But for that, I need a cigarette." She kissed her briefly and then led her out onto the balcony. "Danny, she was, she and her Dad, they were going to move to Toronto." She sighed, lit her cigarette, inhaled deeply and then turned to look at the view before she continued. "About an hour after she left to go pack up her house Rick called to say Will wasn't dead. I panicked," she shook her head and took another drag. "I called Danny right away, she didn't answer. I called Betty, she didn't either."
"If you thought Will was dead, why send Betty with her?"
"Because Deanna isn't," she replied flatly and sighed. "Something wasn't right about Will's death, it didn't feel right." She turned back to face her. "Anyway, we, Steven and I, headed out there."
"Why didn't you warn Rick?"
"That," Laura smiled, "is the one silver lining that came from this whole mess. Figuring out Will was alive gave Rick the perfect excuse to search the estate so he was busy doing that." She reached for Carmilla's hand. "She's as good as finished, Kitten, by the time she reaches trial?" She kissed her briefly. "Your testimony will be a mere formality."
"Seriously?" she blurted.
"Yup," Laura smiled. "It's almost over, we're so close," she sighed again. "I made Steven park half a block away."
"Why did you go in alone?" she questioned. "He's trained for this sort of thing, you're not."
"Right," Laura chuckled but there was no humor in it. "If Steven had gone in he'd be dead. Will would have shot him, no questions asked. I thought, maybe, I could avoid anyone getting hurt." She sniffed. "I snuck in the back door, Danny had a key hidden under the back patio. I heard them, from the kitchen, Will," she looked down. "He was planning to kill me and Danny and then make it look like we killed each other. He was going to wait until you came home, kill you, probably make it look like a suicide. He was going to go back to Deanna's, kill her, and say it did it as he escaped." She took a deep breath. "I rushed in, he had Danny against the wall with a knife to her throat. They fought for the knife," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "Danny ended up with it in her stomach."
"Rick said she was stabbed in the back?"
"There was a lot of blood," she supplied. "They probably didn't figure it out until they got back to the hospital and I wasn't exactly in any shape to explain." She stubbed out her cigarette and reached for Carmilla's hands. "Danny, she died in my arms," she continued, her voice strained. "I, um," she looked down, "I kissed her before she died," she admitted.
"Laura?" she prodded and lifted her chin. "I understand."
"You do?" Carmilla nodded. "I don't."
"You loved her," she smiled at Laura's look of guilt. "Not in the way you do me, but I know you loved her, it's okay to admit that. I'm okay with it." She kissed her softly. "You wanted her to know how you felt."
"I wanted her to hold on," Laura corrected quietly. "I couldn't…" her voice cracked. "It's my fault, if I'd just let her leave when she wanted to, she wouldn't have…" she sobbed. "She wouldn't be…"
Carmilla pulled her into her arms and rubbed her back.
"It's not your fault, Laura," she cooed. "Danny loved you, she made her choice."
"No, you don't understand," Laura pushed her away. "She wanted to leave before then, I talked her into staying. If I hadn't…"
"She chose to stay," Carmilla interrupted. "There's only one person to blame, Will."
"He had a gun trained on me when I stood, told me the rest of the plan," she took a deep, but unsteady breath as she wiped at her nose and sniffed. "He shot first, missed, I wasn't taking a chance he'd miss a second time."
"Rick didn't tell you?"
"It was your gun?" Laura provided. "So?"
"I don't know if this is going to make you feel worse but," she took her hands again, "my gun had a custom built safety. Unless properly disengaged, it jams on the second shot and the first was a blank." Laura's face fell. "Laura, listen to me, even if you'd known, no matter how much training you have, he was more than twice your size. He could have just as likely killed you with your own gun." She regarded her a moment. "It was self-defence. Given the choice? I'd pick your life over his any day."
"It's not that," Laura corrected. "I couldn't," she shook her head. "I had to save you." She reached up and stroked her cheek. "So many times, so many people could have helped you," she continued sadly. "I wasn't, couldn't, be another one to fail you."
"Oh, Laura," she sighed and kissed her forehead. "You saved me the second you walked into my gym for the first time." She smiled as Laura met her eyes. "I've been fighting my whole life," she kissed her softly. "You gave me something worth fighting for."
Laura studied her a moment, sighed and looked down.
"Carm," she sighed. "There's something I need to tell you that I probably shouldn't," she met her eyes. "Something I only figured out a little while ago." She took her hands. "My Mom, her death a few weeks after your father's, all this time I thought it was just some weird morbid connection we shared. But, um, a couple of months ago, I found out it wasn't."
"What are you talking about?"
"Your mother, my father, they were more than just high school acquaintances," she began. "About a year before Will was born she contacted my Dad, told him she thought your Father was having an affair. A few months later they met up at a hotel downtown."
"Wait," Carmilla interrupted, "are you saying my mother and your father had an affair?"
"Not exactly," Laura corrected. "They did wake up naked in bed together the next morning, but neither had any memory of what happened. My Dad went to the hospital, got tested and had a boatload of drugs in his system. Your Mother went home and told your Father the truth."
"Deanna was trying to break them up," Carmilla surmised to Laura's nod.
"Yes, but it backfired."
"My Father forgave her and she was pregnant," Carmilla guessed.
"When your Father died my parents filed for custody of you and Will," Laura provided, the shock, she was sure, was clear on her face. "They were days away from a paternity test when my Mom was killed."
"And you didn't know this when you met me?" Carmilla questioned skeptically.
"I swear I didn't," Laura replied fiercely. "And we only just found out, for sure, that they even slept together."
"Rick rushed a DNA test?" Laura nodded. "Frank, he already knew, or suspected, didn't he?" Laura nodded slowly. "That's why he said Deanna could try but she'd fail," she chuckled and walked away. "The second that DNA result…" she trailed off in laughter. "It's over…" she said as she caught her breath. "She can't touch Will's money because it was never his to begin with." She shook her head. "I know it's not over, not by a long shot, but at least she'll stop trying to kill me for my money." She smiled and kissed Laura softly. "Not that she doesn't have other reasons, I know, but once the show airs she'll be finished."
"That's the plan," Laura smiled. "Carm, I'm sorry, I wish…"
"Laura, stop," Carmilla said and kissed her softly. "You've promised to tell me everything when I get back, and for now, that's enough." She sighed and looked down. "Am I angry, hurt and confused as hell?" She asked and met her eyes. "Damn right, but…" she kissed her, "but, I've never had a reason to not trust you before," she smiled, "I think I can manage to trust you for a few more weeks."
"Yeah?" she asked uncertainly.
"Yeah," Carmilla confirmed and checked the time. "C'mon, we've got about a half hour before we head upstairs," she started as she took her hand and led her inside; "What do you say we take a shower?" Laura blushed and nodded. "And then, after we honor Danny, I say we come back here and forget about everything else for the rest of the night." She kissed her as she pulled her through the bedroom and into the bathroom. "What do you say?" She asked as she pulled Laura's shirt off over her head. She kissed her again and stepped back to take off her shorts, pausing when she saw just how much weight Laura had lost. "Oh Laura," she sighed sadly as she reached out to run her fingers along her, now more prominent, ribs.
"I'm fine," she countered.
"No, you're not," Carmilla hissed. "And don't try to feed me the same bullshit line you fed Dark."
"It's not bullshit, Carm," Laura replied as she took off her shorts. "I do have a really high metabolism but," she sighed. "I also haven't had much of an appetite since you left." She shook her head and reached for Carmilla's shirt. "When I was younger," she frowned, "when my Mom died," she corrected, "I did have an eating disorder for a bit, but I got better, I did," she assured her as Carmilla let her take her shirt off. "This," she motioned to herself, "is just stress."
"Promise me you'll take better care of yourself?" Laura nodded. "Cause I can't go back if I'm worried about you."
"You don't have to worry about me," Laura smiled and led her towards the shower. "I'll be fine." She turned the water on and pulled Carmilla under it. "I promise I'll take better care of myself if you promise to not worry about me."
"I like to keep my promises," Carmilla said quietly, "and I don't know if that's one I can keep."
"You need to try," Laura replied and kissed her. "I'll be fine, we all will."
"That's what you said when I left the first time," Carmilla said gloomily and reached for the shampoo. She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I can't imagine what you're going through. Watching Danny die, Will…"
"Will wasn't the first boy I've killed," Laura admitted, her voice so quiet that Carmilla wasn't sure she'd heard her correctly over the shower.
"What?"
"Remember Derrick?" Carmilla nodded. "He made the mistake of trying to jump on top of me. I got my feet under him and launched him across the room," she sighed and wiped a tear away. "He hit a table on the way down, broke his neck."
"But it was an accident," Carmilla soothed and pulled her into her arms. "I know you, Laura, even if I don't know everything about you. I know you'd never set out to hurt someone, even if they'd hurt you first." She stepped back and took Laura's face in her hands. "If you were you wouldn't be as tortured as you are over Derrick and Will's deaths. You were defending yourself, that's all."
"Doesn't make me feel any better about either of them," she confided and shook her head. "Enough," she said firmly and took the shampoo from her, "you're not here for very long," she continued as she squeezed some shampoo into her hand, put the bottle aside and started to wash Carmilla's hair; "I'd rather spend what little time we have left focusing on the present, not the past, okay?" Carmilla smiled and nodded. "And I promise you, Carm, if you can find a way to forgive me for all I've kept from you, I promise I will never lie to you again." She kissed her softly. "And I promise I'll spend the rest of our lives making it up to you if you'll let me."
A few hours and a few beers later Carmilla sat with her friends, as together they mourned the loss of their friend. They'd eaten dinner, lit the fire pit and then gathered around it to share happy memories of Danny. Dark, Brody, and Nat had all told their favorite memories and were looking to Carmilla and Laura to go next.
"I remember the first time I saw Danny," Laura began quietly, a small smile on her face. "It was the first day of class and every single boy, and some of the girls, couldn't help but watch her as she walked in." She chuckled. "But Danny," she shook her head, "she didn't notice. And then she met my eyes and smiled. And then, suddenly, everyone was looking at me." She blushed. "It took me more than a month to work up the nerve to talk to her," she finished as she wiped away a tear. "And I'm going to miss her."
"To Danny," Dark said as the silence stretched, his beer held aloft until everyone echoed him.
"I'm not going to pretend that I always liked Danny," Carmilla started after sipping her beer. "I thought she was a stubborn, headstrong, self-righteous wannabe martyr." She chuckled. "And maybe she was all those things, but she was also strong, and brave, and most of all, she was a fighter." She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "And I am proud, no lucky, to have called her a friend." She lifted her beer. "I'll miss you, Danny, you deserved so much more from life than you got, and I'm sorry my shit of a brother took that from you."
"Hear, hear!" Brody cheered.
They grew quiet after that, each lost in their own sadness. She felt Laura take her hand and lace their fingers as she laid her head on her shoulder.
"Tired?" she asked her.
"It's been a long day," Laura replied with a yawn but then leaned in and whispered, her voice low with desire; "But I'm not that tired."
"You did win the bet after all," she chuckled and looked to the others. "We're going to call it a night."
"When do you head back?" Dark asked as they both stood and shared a hug.
"Not sure," Carmilla replied and looked to Laura.
"Your plane leaves at one," she provided with a smile. "Should give you plenty time before the fight."
"Guess we'll be leaving here around noon then," Carmilla provided with a sidelong glance at Laura; she didn't remember mentioning Bec's fight. She looked over to Brody; "Watch out for him?"
"Always," Dark replied. "Go on, you guys deserve a night off," he added as he pushed them towards the elevator.
"We do at that," Carmilla chuckled and led Laura over to the elevator. She pressed the button for their floor, leaned against the wall and pulled Laura into her arms for the short trip. The shorter women melted into her and then sighed audibly when the elevator door opened. "You okay?" Carmilla shook her head and sighed deeply. "Of course you're not okay, how could you be?" Carmilla laced their fingers and pulled her towards their apartment. She turned to study her as they reached the door to their bedroom. "But you will be."
"Can we not?" Laura sighed and pulled her into their bedroom.
"Not what?"
"Talk," she supplied and pulled her shirt off over her head. "Can we," she shrugged, "you know, maybe…"
` "Forget about all this for awhile?" Carmilla finished for her as closed the distance between them. "I think we can do that." She smiled as she let Laura take her shirt off for her. She lowered Laura to the bed and then lay down on top of her. "Do you have any idea how much I missed you?" She pushed the hair from Laura's face and traced her eyebrows with a finger. "Every day," she smiled and kissed her, "you were the first thing I thought about every morning." She kissed her neck and worked her way down to her collarbone. "And the last thing I thought about before I fell asleep." She kissed her softly as Laura reversed their positions.
"Carm, you should know," Laura said as they parted, "you really are the only woman I've ever slept with." She smiled crookedly. "I wasn't lying about that."
"So you and Danny," she started carefully, "you didn't?"
"No," Laura blushed. "We almost did, but I, uh, couldn't."
"Why not?" Carmilla questioned. "She was beautiful, kind, and sexy, you know, for a giant."
"She wasn't you," Laura replied simply.
"You hadn't even met me yet," Carmilla stated.
"No," Laura blushed deepened, "but I'd been following your story since your Dad died. I mean, I didn't know it at the time, but I think, until I met you, whether it worked out or not, no one else would stand a chance."
"So you and Danny, you dated?" she asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.
"It was never that serious," Laura deflected.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"You didn't like her," she shrugged. "Seemed like a good enough reason at the time."
"I suppose," Carmilla smiled and rolled Laura back to her back. "I thought we were supposed to not be talking?" She ran a hand down to her breast. "Cause, I, um, don't know about you, but I haven't so much as touched myself in the last four weeks." She said, emphasizing her need by pressing herself into Laura's hip. "And forgetting about why I'm here?" She kissed her chest and moved her bra aside. "Sounds pretty good right now."
"Carm?" Laura sighed and waited for her to look up from where she was about to take her nipple in her mouth. "I haven't either." She smiled. "Didn't seem fair when you I knew you probably wouldn't."
"Hmmm," Carmilla hummed thoughtfully as she went to kiss her. "You did win our bet." She rolled off her and laid on her back. "So how do you want me?"
Laura sat up and then straddled her, her fingertips ghosting over her stomach. She smiled as she took off her bra and tossed it aside. She reached for her hand, pulled her up and undid her bra for her and tossed it aside as well.
"How do I want you?" Laura said, her voice deep with want. "I want you," she leaned in to whisper as she cupped Laura's ass; "to fuck me like an animal." She bit at her neck and elicited a moan. "Make me forget about all of it."
Then
(Five Weeks Ago)
Laura and Danny sat on the couch, both somewhat focused on the movie they were watching, but Laura was quite aware of Danny's arm around her shoulder and the butterflies she was causing just by stroking her arm.
"Earth to Laura, you okay?" Danny prodded as the movie ended.
Laura sighed and leaned into her; all the reasons why this was a bad idea repeating themselves. She'd gotten to know Danny in an effort to figure out what Will was up to. Or, at least, that's what it was supposed to be. She sighed again as Danny started running her hand through her hair. They'd been working up to this for weeks and now that it was so close she wasn't sure she was ready. She felt Danny's other hand on her jaw, gently tilting her head up and into a kiss. Danny knotted her hand in Laura's hair as she pulled her onto her to her lap so that she was straddling her. She inhaled sharply and pulled away when she felt Danny's hands sneak under the back of the shoulder.
"Danny, stop…" she said as she pulled away and trailed off at the look of hurt on the redhead's face. "Danny, I'm sorry, I thought I could do this, but…"
"It's okay," Danny soothed and tried to kiss her but Laura stopped her with a hand on her chest.
"No, it's not," Laura sighed and climbed off her. "I thought I was ready for this, but I'm not."
"Laura I can wait, there's no rush," Danny assured her.
"No, I mean, this whole dating thing," she sighed. "I can't do this right now."
"Is there someone else?" Danny questioned trying but failing, to hide her jealousy.
"No," Laura replied but even to her it sounded false.
"Laura," Carmilla whispered into her ear and nudged her. "We've got company."
Laura opened her eyes and squinted against the sunlight as she turned her head to face her smiling girlfriend. It was Friday morning and their friends would finally be leaving them alone the next day. They decided on one last trip to the beach and she, Carmilla and Dark were out sunbathing on the raft floating on the lake. She accepted Carmilla's kiss and then looked towards the beach to see Danny swimming towards them.
"And you're starting to burn," Carmilla informed as she reached for the sunblock lotion. She watched as Carmilla squirted a generous amount in her hand, rubbed her hands together and then sighed as she rubbed it into her back.
"Hey," Danny greeted as she reached them and rested her elbows on the raft. "I was wondering," she glanced at Carmilla, "if Carm doesn't mind, of course, if we could go for a walk, just you and me?" she finished as she looked back to Laura.
Laura turned to her; "Would you mind?"
"You don't need my permission," Carmilla chuckled. "But you'll wash off what I just put on."
"True," Laura smiled as Carmilla reached over to tie her bikini for her. "I'll put a shirt on when we get to shore." She pushed herself up to her knees. "We'll take the long way back," she said and kissed her cheek. "See you at the cabin," she added, stood and dived over Danny's head into the lake. "Race you back," Laura challenged when she surfaced, turned and swam for shore.
Danny, with her longer legs and arms, easily caught up and the two reached the shore at the same time. Neither spoke as they gathered their things and quickly dressed, Laura stealing Carmilla's red flannel shirt and draping it over her slightly sunburnt shoulders. She pulled on a pair of shorts and her runners and then followed Danny to the path that was slightly longer than the path that followed the shore.
They walked in silence until they reached a small clearing, benches set around its perimeter with a fire pit in the middle. "Sit?" Laura suggested as she noticed Danny seemed a little out of breath. Danny nodded and followed her over to a bench. "Altitude's a bitch, right?"
"Will I ever feel normal again?" Danny joked.
"It's just the altitude," Laura reminded her. "Me and Carm are doing okay cause we just got back from New Mexico," she shrugged. "We're a little more used to it." She studied her a moment. "Is everything okay?"
"Can I ask you something?" Danny questioned, and Laura nodded. "Did you ever have feelings for me?"
"I don't know that my answer will make you feel any better," Laura sidestepped.
"Laura, please," Danny huffed. "I keep thinking, I mean, was I crazy?" Danny looked to her. "Cause it sure felt like you did," she finished and looked down.
"Maybe I did," Laura admitted and Danny again met her eyes.
"Then why did you push me away?" Danny asked but when Laura couldn't reply she pushed; "And don't give me this crap about already being in love with Carmilla." She stood, walked a few away and then turned to her. "You can't honestly expect me to believe that you fell for her before you even met her?" She ran her hands roughly through her hair. "After all the horrible things I told you about her? I can't see how…" She'd been pacing but when she turned back to her the hurt on Danny's face rendered her speechless. "She's the only reason I met you, isn't it?" she asked, her voice raised.
"Danny, please keep your voice down," Laura said as she rushed to stand in front of her, "sound carries differently out here."
"Of course," Danny hissed, "wouldn't want Carm finding out the truth, would we?" She shook her head. "Tell me the truth, Laura, you owe me at least that; why did you take my class? Was it to meet Carm?"
"No," Laura replied quietly, "I knew, from Bob, that you two were on the outs. I was trying to get information about Will."
"You didn't answer my first question," Danny pointed out. "Did you have feelings for me?"
"I did," Laura admitted and shook her head as she went to sit again. "But I was already working on getting into the gym and…"
"Being with me would have complicated things?" Danny asked and sat beside her.
"It wasn't only that," Laura confided and sighed. "I've been following Carm for almost two years, and yes, I had a huge crush on her." She shook her head. "I know it doesn't make any sense, it's stupid really, I know, but it just hit me; until I met her, until I knew whether we could be together, no one else would ever stand a chance."
"Even after everything I told you?" Danny blurted.
"I knew she might not be the person I'd built her up to be in my head, I did, but I had to find out," Laura countered. "Also, given what did happen, you getting sick, I think I was justified in trying to keep you out of this."
"Was everything you ever said, did, a lie?" Danny asked, sadness tainting her voice.
"No," Laura sighed. "I wanted," she took a deep breath and took Danny's hand. "You don't know, how many times I wished that I could feel more for you." Danny met her eyes. "Why wouldn't I?" She smiled. "You're amazing, beautiful, brave," she sighed. "You're everything a girl could want, but until I got Carm out of my system I knew it wouldn't be fair to you. Until I figured out how I felt about Carm," she shook her head. "You deserve someone who can love you as much, and as well, as you love them. Until I knew, I knew I could never be that person." She squeezed Danny's hand. "I'm sorry, Danny, but you asked for the truth." Danny stood and walked away. "And that's the truth." Danny turned her back to her again. "And I am Danny, sorry, I mean. I never meant to hurt you."
"Yeah, well, you failed," Danny muttered and shook her head as she turned back to her. "I don't think I can do this Laura. Being around you again," she rubbed her face. "Lying to Carm. It's too much. Frank's working on getting my Dad cleared so he can work again. He said it'll probably take a few weeks but we're leaving as soon as he does."
"I understand," Laura sighed and went to stand in front of her again. "But, and maybe I shouldn't say this, but I don't want you to go."
"Why?"
"Cause you're my friend and I'll miss you."
"No," Danny countered. "You want me to stay because you're afraid of being lonely when she leaves."
"I do need your help with her book," Laura supplied.
"Fine," Danny chuckled, "I'll 'help with the book', at least until I leave, okay?"
"Thanks," she trailed off at the sound of a breaking twig from the opposite direction from where they entered the clearing from.
"Hey," Carmilla greeted as she joined them. "We got back and you weren't there, I got worried." She walked to them and laced her fingers with Laura's. "Should I be worried?" her voice laced with insecurity.
"No," Danny laughed. "All I ever wanted was for to Laura to be happy." She looked back to Laura. "Was there a time when I wished I was the one who could do that?" She shrugged and looked back to Carmilla. "Maybe, but I missed my chance. You make her happy," she chuckled, "anyone can see that."
"But it can't be easy," Carmilla offered. "Look, Danny, I care about you, if you feel you should go, then you should go."
"And you're not just saying that cause you're afraid I'll try to win Laura over?" Danny joked.
"I'm saying that cause," Carmilla sighed, "everything is about to get a lot more dangerous. She's already targeted you, multiple times," she smiled and took Danny's hand with her free one. "I don't want you to get hurt again."
"I'm a big girl, I can handle myself," Danny offered.
"I know you can," Carmilla assured her, "I just wish you didn't have to."
"I know," Danny smiled. "But I'm also not your responsibility."
"You can say that," Carmilla said sadly, "but the simple fact is; all the shit that's happened to you wouldn't have happened if you hadn't had the misfortune of meeting me." She pulled Danny into a hug. "Don't stay just because we want you to, okay?"
Danny looked at Laura over Carmilla's head; "Okay."
"Good," Carmilla said with a smile as she pushed her away. "But, um…"
"You'd like a little time alone with your girlfriend?" Danny teased with a smile as she pushed her away. "We are leaving tomorrow," she reminded her.
"I know," Carmilla laughed, "but I leave in less than a week and…"
"You want to spend as much time together as you can?" Danny offered and received Carmilla's nod. "It's okay, I get it. I'll see you guys in a bit, okay?"
"Thanks, Danny," Laura finally spoke up and gave her a hug, "for understanding," she added, only loud enough for Danny to hear.
"I'm trying," she whispered, gave her one last squeeze and then headed for the path to the cabin.
Laura watched her leave, shook her head and went to sit again.
"You okay?" Carmilla asked as she straddled her where she sat.
Laura shrugged; she didn't have any answers she could give Carmilla at the moment. She ran her hands under Carmilla's shirt and pulled her into a kiss. She hated hurting Danny. Hated that the truth only made it worse. Maybe there would always be a little piece of her that wondered what would have happened if she'd given her and Danny a chance, but as she kissed her way down Carmilla's neck to her chest she knew she'd never felt for Danny what she felt for Carmilla. Danny deserved more than she could have ever given her. She deserved someone who loved her the way she loved Carmilla and Carmilla loved her.
"Carm?" Laura said as she looked up to her, her voice already deep with desire. "Promise me, when this is over, that we're never apart for that long again."
"Given how much I'm dreading being away from you?" Carmilla smiled. "Even if I can't really promise, because really, who knows what might come up, I promise to try."
"Good," Laura agreed and kissed her. "I love you Carm, and I already miss you."
"Me too," Carmilla sighed and pulled Laura's head to her chest. "But once it's over we'll never be apart again unless it's unavoidable." Laura looked up to her. "I do promise you that."
