CONFESSIONS OF THE HEART

Blaine took a long, deep drag from his cigarette breathing in the extra essence of the weed he had been able to grab from his hidden supply in his dorm. He wasn't an avid user but, on the occasions when things started to over shadow his thoughts, he needed a little extra help. Okay he may of used more in the past few days but, he still kept it under control, or so he liked to think.

He was currently perched on the roof of the school, his back against the wall and his knees bent, his hands hung loosely over his knees. This was the only place he knew noone would come looking for him. He was supposed to be in double french right now but, the thought of having to spend 2 hours discussing the language of love was right on the bottom of his to do list and, maybe the fact that his room mate would be there might of made the decision to ditch easier. He knew that if he got caught this time it would be goodbye Dalton, drugs were a big no no at the school. If Wes found out he was using again he would be hung from the nearest tree by his genitals, as he had been told in graphic detail by said boy.

As he thought of what Wes would do his mind couldn't help but wander to earlier in the morning. The words that Wes had fed him swirled around his mind as he felt his chest constrict slightly.

EARLIER IN THE CANTEEN

"Hey"

Blaine looked up to see his friend standing over him, Wes pulled out his chair and sat down.

"Take a seat" Blaine said sarcastically as he lifted a piece of bacon to his mouth.

"So how's life with Kurt?" Wes asked not beating around the bush, Blaine paused for second before popping the bacon into his mouth.

"Who?" Blaine furrowed his forehead pretending to feign ignorance as he chewed.

"Kurt Hummel, the slight hazy blue eyed boy with the voice of an angel, the boy who stole your heart many moons ago, who is currently lying in a bed not 6 feet away from you" Wes grinned at his friend as Blaine scowled at him, obviously unimpressed with his description of his room mate.

"How's David, the boy who shags you behind everyones back then runs to his slut girlfriends because you're too scared to tell him how you feel" Blaine grinned back, two can play at that game but Blaine knew how to cut deeper.

"That's because he's straight, like you" Wes snipped back, he knew the truth about Blaine, one of his many secrets.

Blaine was about to snipe back when his eye caught his room mates.

"Why is he here?" Blaine whispered, he couldn't hide the concern in his voice. "He shouldn't be here"

Wes watched the expression on his friends face soften slightly, then change just as quickly back to the scowl he always wore.

"All I know is there was some trouble at his previous school, something happened and his father sent him here" Wes answered his friends question. "Guess he wanted him to be safe"

"Then he should of sent him elswhere, this school is no safe haven" Blaine said absently, Wes watched as his friends eyes suddenly give a far away look.

"Blaine, what's going on?" Wes placed his hand on his friends arm his voice soft with an edge of pleading. "What aren't you telling me?"

Blaine snapped out of what ever day dream he had been in, his normal disposure returning.

"Nothing" Blaine went back to eat his bacon, Wes placed his hand gently on his friends hand, he could feel Blaine stiffen beneath it.

"I know you're lying to me" Wes's voice was quiet, just above a whisper. "I know something is happening to you but, I can't help you if you keep hiding from me."

Blaine swallowed contemplating what he should or shouldn't say. He needed help, he knew it but, sometimes life serves you a bad deal and you just have to live with it. Blaine snapped his hand back from his asian friend.

Leave it Wes I told you, all that's wrong with me is fucking do gooders trying to jack their noses in my fucking business" Blaine snapped and chucked his knife and fork on the table and stormed out of the cafeteria.

PRESENT

He hated the fact that Kurt was here, he shouldn't be here. It wasn't safe for him. Blaine couldn't protect him here, god he couldn't even protect himself.

Blaine slammed his head against the wall whincing slightly as the pain shot through him., he banged his head again, a little harder.

Why did everything keep getting screwed up? He thought to himself.

He had everything sorted until he turned up, if it wasn't for him everything would be ticking along in the right way but now... God. Blaine slammed his head back once more.

Blaine refused to call Kurt by his name, just it or him, never Kurt, even in his own mind.

"You'll give yourself a blinding headache with that stuff"

Blaine sighed as he took another drag on his spliff, he wasn't surprised that he had found him.

"What do you want?"

Blaine shuffled over as he felt a body slide down next to him, he kept his eyes shut tight. He knew why he was here and he just didn't want to hear it.

"We need to talk" the boy moved closer to him, Blaine moved over slightly and took another deep drag. The lad grabbed the spliff from his hand, throwing it on the floor he stumped it out with his foot.

"Hey, what the fuck are you doing that's my last one" Blaine snapped angrily at the boy, of course it wasn't but he wasn't gonna tell him that.

"Good, then maybe you will quit this crap" The boy snapped angrily back. Blaine growled at him he knew he wasn't talking about his smoking.

"Yea, and you know it ain't happening" Blaine pulled himself up and walked over to the edge of the building. He really was not in the mood for this jackasses crap.

"I can't keep doing this Blaine it isn't fair on anyone, especially him" The boy pulled himself up and stood behind the curly haired boy. His voice was laced with anger, hurt and guilt.

"What, is he not putting out? Maybe you're not doing it right" Blaine snapped back, his back still facing the other lad.

The boy grabbed Blaine and swung him around,, his face was contorted with a mixture of emotions. Blaine yanked his arm out of the other lads hand and took a step away from him. He didn't want to deal with this, not right now!

"That's not what I mean, and you know that" The boy jabbed his finger in Blaines face. "I can't keep lying to him, we can't keep lying to him" The other boys voice started to break his guilt starting to over flow.

"We have no choice, you know that!" Blaine grounded angrily back at the lad, his forehead folded, he pushed past him knocking him slightly with his shoulder. This was not happening, he needed at least this to work, even if nothing else would.

"You've got him like putty in your hands, you just need to know how to work him. Do you want me to have a word with him? Or maybe you're just not man enough for him" Blaine knew it was a cheap shot but, he needed this to just go away, needed him to go away.

"Oh will you cut the crap for one minute" the boy snapped. "No one is here it's just you and me, stop with the act it's getting boreing"

Blaine spun around to face him the words he wanted to stay stuck in his throat as he saw the tormented face of his old friend.

"Fine " Blaine breathed in defeat, his whole demear changed, his face and voice softened. He knew how hard this was on the other lad, the guilt had been eating away at him for a year now. "Look it's just a few more weeks, then you can say what ever you want. I know it's hard but we have no choice." Blaine was hoping he would understand without him going into detail, it wasn't his right to tell.

"But, that's what I don't get" The other boy took a step towards Blaine, his face full of confusion, he never really understood why Blaine had set this up. "You have never explained what it is that we are protecting him from. I know he had a few problems last year, and I get that I should have been more figulant but," A tear came to the other boys eye as old memories reserviced. " I just don't understand why we have to prtend we hate each other!"

Blaine wrapped his arms instinctively around the other boy, holding him close as he let out a small sob. He ignored the rising panic inside himself. Blaine knew that the boy blamed himself for what had happened to his boyfriend but,the decision to hide their friendship was Blaines. He had never explained it to the other boy but, after what had happened, how close they had come to loosing the one they had sworn to protect, Blaine felt there was no other way. He had made the decision to break their friendship, hide it, much to the dismay of his friend who was now in his arms.

"Just, trust me okay, I can't tell you, I made a promise, just believe me when I say this is for the best" Blaine pulled himself away, he could feel his walls breaking slightly. He couldn't let that happen, he needed to keep everything tightly wrapped if his plan was to work. He just needed more time.

"Do you need more money or something, do you want me to talk to him, get him to put out" Blaine was back to the person that he allowed everyone to see, the one that no one likes. The other boy growled in frustration, it never ceased to amaze him at how quickly Blaine could switch personalities, it was as if the other didn't exist unless he let it slip out.

"This has nothing to do with the money or sex I don't want the fucking money all I care about is him finding out and...it's gone on long enough" Blaines words had really upset the other boy.

"And do you know what it will do to him if you tell him?" Blaine snapped angrily, he was royally pissed off, didn't he understand what would happen if his boyfriend ever found out? " It will break him."

"And I will be there to pick up the pieces" The other boy sighed, he was tired of all the lies, tired of fighting with his old friend about it. He should never of agreed to their deal.

"If he will let you, if he will forgive you, forgive us." Blaine snapped back.

"He'll have no choice, cus I won't let him not let me in." The other boy said determindey. Blaine swallowed deeply as he tried to stop the rising panic building inside him. He knew it was only a matter of time before he told him and all hell broke loose.

"Look, I know I said it would only be a couple of months but, things haven't exactly gone to plan. Just give me a couple of weeks, please" Blaine pleaded, he could see the other boys resolve weakening.

"Fine, 2 weeks" The other boy sighed shaking his head. Blaine breathed a sigh of relief.

"2 weeks" Blaine nodded in agreement as he tried to steady his breathing, his mind all ready going into overdrive as he tried to figure what to do next.

"And stop smoking that crap" The other boy said pointing at his old friend as he turned and walked towards the door of the roof "It will kill you."

"Here's hoping" Blaine whispered to himself.

"What?" The other boy asked, frowning as he stopped mid-step turning his head back towards Blaine.

"Nothing" Blaine said giving his friend a faint smile.

"Hmmp, get to class before you get chucked out" The boy said as he pulled open the door.

"Okay, and Jeff" Blaine shouted as his friend disapeared out the door. Jeff popped his head back out to face his friend. "Thankyou, for everything".

"Thank me when the shit hits the fan" Jeff said just before he closed the door.

"It will be more than shit that hits the fan" Blaine said to himself, his eyes glued to the door as his thoughts wandered. "All hell is gonna break loose."