I keep getting the feeling i'm wandering away from my original plot. I keep finding ways to squeeze Gaara and other characters into this. It's suppposed to be Itachi dammit!! Oh well, i felt some comic releif was in order. This was originally going to be a one shot but, i decided 'screw it'. And here we are LOL Enjoy and let me know what you think.
Curiosity filled the air of Konoha that day and lingered around one particularly curious shinobi, Gaara. His curiosity was aroused while wandering through some urban streets. The area was home to some of the villages most fruitful shrubs and trees. The natural paths were decorated with forest green bushes which were speckled with ripe, plump, juicy raspberries. While taking residence in the village, Gaara had developed a bit of sweet tooth for wild fruit. He had been on a mission with Naruto a few weeks ago and there closest sustenance was wild fruit. While Naruto ate a simple handful to clear his dry throat, Gaara had devoured the entire busy of it's bountiful produce. The blonde had been completely flabbergasted by the whole display. It had been the first time he'd seen Gaara so eager about anything, let alone food.
So, while walking down the dirt path, Gaara took it upon himself to treat himself. That's when it happened. Beyond the raw umber tress Gaara could hear the loud voices of two individuals arguing. He strained his ears in an attempt to develop his hearing rather than relying his third eye jutsu and wasting chakra.
"-ou think a fifteen minute shag once a month is communication? Where the fuck is my-" Shag? He'd heard that term before. It was related to sex wasn't it? "Whatever" he mumbled to himself. He popped a raspberry into his mouth and began to walk away when it suddenly hit him. What is sex? The thought loitered in his mind. Words like breeding and reproduction flickered by but those were definitions, not explanations. Gaara's childhood had been one of containment and insomnia. His education was restricted to strictly written material of nin-jutsu and gen-jutsu. Sex-education was prohibited yet it hadn't bothered him. Why would it when all your life was constantly focused around death and literally fighting an inner demon. Now, the questioned had aroused and Gaara was curious.
Gaara's immediate decision was to ask Lee. Lee was honest by nature. He would never lie to Gaara no matter what the question or circumstance and with his extensive knowledge of ti-jutsu, he'll know exactly how the human body works and how to explain the process to the curious red-head. That was easier said than done though. He found Lee in the middle of a push-up marathon, trying to work out some stiff muscles before his operation next month.
"321...322...323...324"
"Hey, Lee?" The green clad ninja looked up, still thrusting against his free arm frantically, to see his red-headed friend crouched in front of him. Gaara wouldn't mind if he continued with his work-out.
"Yes, Gaara! How may I help you?" he panted
"I was wondering if you could answer something for me?"
"Of course. Anything! That is what friends are for!"
In his trademark, monotone voice, Gaara asked his honest friend, "Would you explain sex to me?" THUMP! Lee's nose contacted violently against the limestone ground after his hand suddenly slipped. Odd, Lee had more control than that.
"WHAT!?" he screamed. Lee's face was a mess of blood and mucus dribbling frantically from his nose and stained the exterior of his bandages. "What kind of a question is that?!"
"I'm curious. By the way, you've got a little…." he pointed to his upper lip, indicating Lee had something on his face. Lee made a frantic swipe with his arm across his face but all he did was smear the blood further around his cheeks. "Shouldn't you…well…know that kind of thing at your age?" He asked bashfully.
"I was deprived in that area of my childhood so, I was hoping you would explain it to me. It seems to motivate people and I've found it can often cause diplomatic problems for some reason. I'm curious to know why?" Lee seemed to look everywhere except Gaara. "You know, you should get that checked. I can ask someone else" Lee suddenly jumped to his feet, clasped his hands together and gazed at the sky in whimsical glee. He then held the bridge of his nose and hobbled back toward the main village area.
That left Naruto Uzumaki. Gaara considered him to a very honest person too. Considering, he was the first person to be completely honest with him for the first time. It wasn't exactly difficult to find the blonde idiot. He's either hungry or hyper. So, he's either at that ramen stall he likes so much or training in his favourite spot in the woods. Hunger occurs more than hyperactivity so Ichiruka's was the first choice. Big surprise when Gaara found him trying to eat a whole bowl in one go in an attempt to get a free bowl.
Judging from the previous experience, asking, 'what's sex?', plain and bluntly might not be the best way to go about his queries.
"Fway Gaama" Naruto mumbled as Gaara passed my the curtains. He made a loud swallowing noise in which a lump a salmon clearly protruded it way down the blonde's throat. Gaara took a seat and waited until Naruto finished his meal. "So what's up?"
"I was wondering…" he thought a moment, trying to think of the right way to phrase his question, "how do you know when someone wants to have sex with you?" No bloody nose. So far, so good. Instead, a large, cheeky grin.
"That's easy" he chuckled. "When you grab their ass and they say, 'wait 'till we get home'"
"Oh" Gaara said blankly. It answered a small fraction of his curiosity but not what he really wanted to know.
"There you are, Naruto" Bright pink locks and lime greens eyes registered to Gaara as Naruto's team-mate, Sakura Haruno. "Are you stuffing your face again? Have you completed your mission reports yet?" Her face was screwed in annoyance until she realised Gaara was there. A timid smile crossed her lips as she greeted him. "Hi there, Gaara-san. How are you?"
"I'm okay. Would you turn around for a second?" Sakura reached around her back, suddenly paranoid something was stuck there. As she faced away from Gaara, he reached out. "Like this, Naruto?" He clutched the lump of skin that formed one of Sakura's butt cheeks. A loud, ear piercing squeal erupted throughout the streets, shaking homes and bowls of ramen. The cork on Gaara's gourd popped and the blood infused sand whipped wildly to protect its owner. For a split second, Sakura was almost as quick as Lee. The sand had just managed to shield him before Sakura got the chance to sock him in the face. Gaara's immediate reaction was to point at Naruto in case Sakura took another swing and actually managed to hit him.
"Naruto told me too" He was clear of danger. Sakura made a mechanical turn toward Naruto, fists clenched tightly and knuckles whitening. Gaara recognised the look of unmistakable fear across Naruto's face. Gaara took the opportunity to slip off his seat and sneak away. The background suddenly filled with the sound of large amounts of furniture being destroyed. Naruto should be grateful that's not his bones, Gaara thought to himself while ducking around a corner.
Well, that's two friends down and still no where near a suitable answer. So, who to ask now?
XXXX
Lately, Gaara had been trying to communicate more with his siblings on a daily basis. Just simple things like, greetings and asking about general health. It wasn't much but it was more than he thought possible until he met Naruto. Today, he would try and say more.
"Kankuro, would you explain some things about sex to me?" His brother turned to him with a very serious look on his face. He didn't know the specifics of Gaara's physical education but, after hearing that, he guessed Gaara's caretakers didn't go into much detail.
"Dude... Bro..." A sudden evil smirk - fitting of Kankuro - spread across his painted face, "Let me find those puppets...".
Kankuro took his younger sibling to an empty tea tavern where he could explain a few things to his brother. They sat in a quiet corner where they would be undisturbed. Finally, he would be able to pass on his wisdom in the way he'd always imagined.
"Okay, Gaara. This is Punch and this is Judy" he said while dangling two small puppets which looked oddly similar to Uzumaki and Haruno. Maybe that would make this easier to understand? "Now, little bro, Punch's favourite thing to do is fisting. Now, to do that proper--"
"Oh my God, Kankuro! What the fuck are you doing with that puppet?!" Tamari had this amazing yet very annoying ability to pop up from nowhere when her puppet wielding brother got up to mischief. She took one look at the provocative position Kankuro had placed his puppets in, immediately snatched them away and threw them out the window.
"Judy! Punch! No!" Kankuro grabbed his sister by the collar. "What the fuck was that for, bitch?!
"Your using puppets for porn! What do you think I did it for you sick bastard?!" Gaara kept a firm eye on his older sister's fan. She could whip that thing off her shoulder and tear down a row of houses before you could even blink. After studying these two fight on previous occasions, Gaara had developed a tactic he'd been wanting to try.
"Kankuro, your fly's undone" His sibling immediately covered himself.
"Ah, jeez. Hold on-I don't have a fly on these thi-hey, where'd he go?" Ah, the beauty of sand teleportation.
XXXX
If asking people his own age wasn't going to get him answers, maybe asking someone older might? His first choice was Uzumaki's teacher. However, Gaara was unaware that Kakashi missed out on sex-ed too. As a result, the copy-cat ninja took it upon himself to understand the physical changes in his body. Thus, discovering the wonder of written pornography in all its glory. When Gaara asked his recurring question to the older man, his response was handing over a copy of 'Make-Out Violence'.
"This picture here," said Gaara as he pointed to one of the pages, "I don't understand the purpose of tying someone up like this. What does it achieve?"
"It heightens sexual pleasure by eliminating all other movement, making the partner more vulnerable" he said in a matter-of-fact tone. The man was certainly well educated but he wasn't very good at teaching theory. Another dead end. What about that really loud guy, Lee's teacher….Gai-Sensei, that was it. Whenever he talks it's usually something involving the body. Maybe he'll be more useful despite his moronic composure. Gaara figured the green giant would be with the mini green giant. (Lee was seriously too tall) So, to the medical room in search of them and he did. Well, he heard them first.
"Lee, my boy, take this an opportunity. See this as your chance to train a near un-trainable part of your body into a physical perfection"
"And if you don't stop getting him excited he's gonna lose his nose completely you idiot" Nice to know someone felt the same way Gaara did about that loud, numbskull.
"It is alright Yuika. I merely slipped. I lost my concentration for a moment, that's all"
"Awww, brave little ninja. You make putting up with Gai all the worth while" Gaara peeked into the window of the medical room door to see Yuika cuddling Lee's head next to her chest. He seemed to be enjoying it for some reason. The second he opened the door, Gaara was greeted by a threesome of smiley faces.
"You ready to answer my question yet, Lee" That large smile suddenly evaporated into bright red cheeks. "I'll take that as a 'no' then. Fine. Will you answer my question?" he said to Gai. "What is sex and I want straight answer" The hairy man just folded his arms and smiled lightly.
"Ah, that is the secret pleasure of youth"
"Would you demonstrate?"
"On who?"
"GAI, YOU GREEN PERVERT!" Mega-kick-to-groin Gai doubled over in pain, collapsing to the floor into a tight ball. As Lee hopped to his Sensei's side, Yuika stormed out of the room, dragging Gaara with her.
XXXX
Why hadn't he thought to ask this woman earlier?
"Yuika, I'm trying to understand sex but no one has been giving me a clear-cut answer" Yuika's head dropped like bee hive just fallen from it's branch.
"Aw, man. I'm having a flash back here" Just when Gaara thought he was going to have find someone else, again, Yuika threw her head up and smiled. "Well, basically sex is what lovers do with each other, Gaara. We call that, making love. It's means sharing yourself with another person" She wrapped her arms around her waist, hiding her pink kimono sash beneath her arms. "It's a gesture you give to someone who means the most to you. It's makes you feel warm and special all over"
"Is it always like that?" She changed her position, clasping her hands behind her to take a serious pose.
"Not always. Some people use sex as way of controlling another person. They can be violent and cruel. Instead of feeling special, you feel like you want to wither away and die before that person comes back again"
"Why would someone do that? Is it how you demonstrate strength?"
"Far from it. Yes, you overpower someone but, forcing someone into that kind of position is a clear sign of weakness. Making someone else feel weak doesn't make you strong" There was silent pause between them where Gaara pondered over Yuika's words. "Why do you want to know this anyway?"
"I never had sex education and I was suddenly curious to learn"
"Oh" Yuika placed her hands on her hips. "Well then I'm talking a load of drabble here. You need to learn the physiology before you learn anything else" She took hold of Gaara's wrist. "And I know the perfect place"
XXXX
"Yuika, I'm not sure I'm very comfortable with this"
"You're never comfortable with anything that comes to sex, Iruka. So, I'm not exactly surprised this bothers you" The bronze man suddenly blushed a deep shade of red while vigorously running his thumb along the spine of book. "Come on, Iruka. You're a teacher. You can't deny education when it's needing by the younger generation"
"Most of the younger generation can't blow me to bits at the snap of a finger." He sighed heavily, realising Yuika wasn't going to back down easily. But, come on, it was difficult enough to explain this to kids as it is. A grown adolescent would just make it completely awkward. The door to the class room slid open. Genma peeked his head in to see Iruka and some white haired woman standing in front of the black board. He was going to ask why the sand was standing outside the class but, he more important issues here.
"Yo, Iruka. Lady Hokage just called an emergency Chuunin meeting. Everyone's gotta attend immediately. Got any one who can cover your class?" It was like a gift from the angels themselves. He had the perfect excuse to avoid the lecture. He thrust the book into Yuika hands, quickly said a farewell and dashed out the door.
Several minutes later, a group of third year students piled their way into the class room and sat themselves down at their tables. They were curious to know why their regular teacher wasn't here for their 'special lesson' today and why some red head guy with a giant jar on his back was standing at the back of the room.
"Hi there, everyone. My name's Yuika Hatake. Iruka-Sensei has been sadly called away on other business so I'm here to fill in." Yuika noticed a couple of young heads were facing Gaara instead of her. "Gaara-Sama is here to help me supervise. I take it you all know what today's discussion involves?" There was a mixture of noise echoing in the room. Some mumbled, others fell silent while a couple gave a clear 'yes'. One student however, just huffed.
"This is stupid. We all know what sex is so, what's the point" Gaara felt that kid deserved to be thrown out the window but, Yuika just smiled and walked up to his desk at the front row.
"Well, that's great to know. Then I have a question; when your dick starts to turn green and slimy and aches like a thousand needles just to look at, are you going to tell me you knew everything there was to know about sex?" The kid's face, along with several others, went severely pale. The boy shook his head like it was no big deal though.
"Yeah right. That doesn't happen. Nice try, lady" Yuika continued to smile while flipping through a few pages in the book she was carrying. She stopped near the middle and placed on the desk in front of the boy. Gaara was at the back of the classroom but, he had a clear view of the graphic image. A penis with immensely swollen testicles and a green like pus.
"Now are you going to tell me it doesn't happen?" Not a word from the boy, who looked like he'd just seen his own death flash before him. "That, is Gonorrhoea. Symptoms of Gonorrhoea generally appear within 2 to 10 days after sexual contact with an infected person. Some common symptoms in men include swollen testicles; burning sensations during urination; and white, yellow, or green pus from the penis accompanied by pain. Gonorrhoea symptoms in women can include yellow or bloody vaginal discharge, bleeding associated with vaginal intercourse, and cramps and pain. A rectal infection with gonorrhoea can also cause rectal discharge; anal itching; and occasional, painful bowel movements with fresh blood in the faeces." This was beginning to sound more like a torture session rather than a lesson. She said all that with a smile too. Gaara was suddenly having second thoughts about all this. If that happened after having sex then what the fuck was the point? Yuika closed the book and returned to the blackboard to face the class.
"Now listen. I'm not here to scare you all. I'm here to explain one of the greatest experiences in life in the clearest way possible and teach you how to avoid the dangers. No-one knows everything about sex but everyone can learn the fundamentals and learn from there. Originally you were supposed to be divided; boys in one room and girls in another. However, this is some things you all need to be familiar with so you might as well learn it all together. Now," Yuika took a piece of chalk and began to scribble on the board, "to put things as clear as can be, sex is technically inserting the penis into the vagina" Oh, so that was it is.
That class extended into the entire week which confused everyone a little considering it was only meant to last an afternoon. However, Yuika insisted that was not enough when it came to such a sensitive subject. Apparently the majority of parents never discuss sex with their children, even when they're almost past adolescence and when kids discussed it among themselves a lot of wrong assumptions are made which can lead to all sorts of problems. Monday was used for body productions such as periods and erections, protection during sex and against STD's which came with some pretty gruesome pictures. Tuesday went into pregnancy and its development. Wednesday covered the wrong reasons to have sex like: trying to get someone to like you, to get revenge on someone, other people telling you that you should or if someone in your family is pressuring you to have a baby. Thursday and Friday were used for questions and there was plenty of them. Yuika never hesitated or faltered at any moment. That overgrown child was somehow replaced with this incredibly, serious adult. Every question was answered with full honesty and she was somehow able to interpret the questions some people were too embarrassed to ask. By the end of the week, Yuika seemed to have exhausted every aspect and query the class had but let everyone know that if they had any questions in the future then they were to leave a note a small box on the desk. The good part was that no one actually had to write their name down and they can easily go back to the box and retrieve the answer note left behind.
There was something Gaara was a little eager to ask ever since the first day of sex-education. It was something Yuika said at the end of the day after having to clarify that you don't get gonorrhoea every time you have sex. "Sex is a great experience and can be incredibly fun if you how to do it safety" He didn't quite understand how it could be fun if you had a piece of plastic wrapped around you but apparently the body stimulates itself into a reaction called an orgasm. He walked alongside Yuika after the last class, trying to work out the right words to phrase his curiosity.
"Yuika? What does sex really feel like and how do I know if I want it or not?" They continued to walk down the hallway, neither of them looking at each other but not really needing to.
"It's really something I can't describe technically, Gaara. I can tell you that there's nothing else like it. As for if you want to or know well, that's really up to you. I understand your upbringing might have left with less of a drive than most people but when the time comes, you'll know it."
"Okay"
Did i go a bit overboard with this chapter? Oh, well. I'm still keeping it. It'll be a while before the next update. As you've noticed, i upload in chapters, not one at time. It's so i can keep checking details and make sure i'm not wandering off too much. THanks again and let me know what you think. Questions about the plot will be greatly appreciated, that way i can avoid things ur not enjoying.
