"There's a point in your life when you get tired of fixing everything and trying to make everyone happy. When you finally decide to quit, it's not giving up. It is realising you don't need certain people and the bullshit they bring into your life." - Grey's Anatomy
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The words that had come out of the blue eyed beauty, had Haruka weeping. Haruka ran right into the arms of the woman. Haruka openly cried into the crook of her neck.
"I guess I should I have called you to say that I was coming a whole week earlier at the headmaster's request." Tsukiko tried to comfort the golden green eyed teen, currently sobbing against her. "He only told me this morning, I'm sor-". But before she could finish explaining Haruka interrupted hastily.
"W-why? I don't understand?! Why did you not say anything if you were in so much pain?!" Haruka desperately cried pulling herself away from her sister's comforting embrace. She stood face to face with her sister. Eyes red and puffy were desperately searching the blue orbs for an answer.
"You were young, you would not have understood what was happening. Even if you were older some things are better left unspoken..." Tsukiko trailed off, waiting for Haruka to respond.
"NO! You have to stop this! Tell me why!" Haruka's voice grew desperate by the second, new tears flowing over her cheeks. Tsukiko eyes soften, but her face remained impassive.
"If I told you, I would have cause you an unnecessary amount of stress. I cannot bear to hurt you..." Tsukiko looked away, ashamed. She breathed out her fears and explained herself further. "I didn't want you to end up like our father because I love you too much...the last thing I want for you is too be unhappy." Tsukiko firmly stated. She sounded almost desperate when she spoke of our father, Haruka noted. It was then she noticed Tsukiko's blue eyes glistened with tears not yet ready to fall.
"I purposely closed all the doors, Haruka, so of course you don't know. All you have known this whole time is what you have seen through the windows of my life, slowly though I dirtied the windows. I have locked every door, dirtied every windo-"
"I will break the door! Smash the window! I'm not a naïve kid anymore!" Haruka yelled interrupting her sister, her frustration getting the better of her. Tsukiko made excuse after excuse, but it was time for the truth.
"Not long after mother died, you said you wanted to run away. I was not smart enough back then to understand what you meant. But now I do." Haruka firmly declared. "What was hurting you? What secret hurt you so much that you wanted to runaway?! Don't you realise that when you tried to stop yourself from being hurt and from us getting hurt you only caused more pain!?" Haruka paused, glancing at her sister's wide eyes which were brimmed with tears. Haruka knew she had hit home.
"What is it that you are running from? What is it that's hurting you? What is it that you hid from everyone!" Haruka yelled, extremely frustrated. Her sister was looking down, bangs covering her eyes. She lifted her head to stared deep into Haruka golden green eyes. Silver threads covered Tsukiko's pale cheeks, her eyes were hollow and pained. She looked like a doll, that had been left for the dust to claim. She looked broken.
"I'm dying, Haruka-chan..." She smiled, painfully. Haruka tensed at the word dying. She was confused. Dying? Haruka couldn't understand. Taking in a deep breath, Tsukiko tried to explain.
"Not long after mother's funeral, I had noticed few problems with my own health. I ignored for a few years because I thought it was just a side effect from depression or the grieving process, but as the years went by it got worse. I went to the doctors when I was only a year into my official career as an idol and composer." Pausing, she took in a shaky breath. Gathering her courage, she knew she had to tell her.
"I was diagnosed with lung cancer. According to the doctor its maternal, meaning its from our mother's family, so it's genetic." Tsukiko looked into Haruka's eyes, she saw sadness and confusion in Haruka's golden green orbs. Haruka tried to make sense of the situation.
"Is that why you were always out of breath when you sung..." Haruka's bangs covered her eyes at the realisation. "I never thought that...you were so sick..." Haruka said disbelieving, her mind couldn't focus. Her thoughts started quickly trying to make sense of whats he was told.
Her sister is sick.
Her sister is sick with lung cancer.
If Tsukiko is sick with the same thing as her mum...
And her mother died from it...
Her sister will die.
Tsukiko watched Haruka carefully, observing her movements. She was upset. That much was clear. She observed her sister's eyes, the once happy golden greens irises were slowly dulling.
"Haruka, I have been fighting my cancer a long time. Coming up this December it will be almost ten years. " Haruka looked sharply up at her sisters unusually enlightened tone.
"Mother died after six years of fighting her cancer. I was worried when I turned eighteen I would die of my cancer. Instead I lived another five years." Tsukiko bragged. Haruka lightened up a bit feeling some hope.
"It's actually thanks to treatment it got better for a long time, but the thing with this cancer is it goes unnoticed for a long time. The symptoms got worse when I was working. My doctor said it was too much stress on my body. " Her smile morphed into a deep frown, not enjoying the returning memories of her successful but depressing career.
"Before my last concert I talked to Saotome about leaving my career til I was cured or healthy enough to do it again. He agreed to let me leave, but now other things have come up..." The blue eyed beauty explained, head down, ashamed of her lack of confidence to her tell her sibling. Haruka was slowly coming to an understanding. Everything was fitting together, the once lost pieces became visible to her.
Her sister had been diagnosed with lung cancer, and her cancer got worse as the years went by. To protect her from getting hurt or upset, Tsukiko figured that she should keep it to herself and hide everything. But...it must of hurt...
"How..." Haruka started, eyes glistened with fresh tears. "It must of hurt... to keep it a secret...and suffer alone...not letting others bear your burden..." Haruka looked deep into Tsukiko eyes, seeing a soft smile appear on her pale face.
"Pain is just apart of life..." Tsukiko sighed, it really was. Everyone goes through a tough time, some tougher than others.
"Wait...you said other things have come up...like what?" Haruka asked, confused on what Tsukiko had said earlier. Tsukiko sighed again, she didn't want to put more weight on her sister's shoulders than she already had.
"It's things you don't need to be concerned wit-" Haruka quickly interrupted her.
"Do not use that excuse! I am older now! There is no excuse here! Just tell me the truth! The whole truth!" Haruka angrily yelled, she was frustrated with her sister. Why keep hiding and burying this? Tsukiko closed her eyes, she rubbed her eyes with her hand, she was tired of Haruka pushing her. This was something Haruka shouldn't concern herself with but if she wanted to know...
"Haruka...It's-" Tsukiko began, but was interrupted by a rough voice.
"It's what she wants."
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AN: Remember only constructive criticism and positive reviews! Also pls tell me if I made any mistakes I shall fix them! And go ahead and leave me any questions and I will try to answer them best I can!
Always and Forever,
LadyAdalicia
