Sydney's POV
It was strange to stand outside of my own apartment and not be able to just walk in when I wanted to. I had my hand up next to the door but didn't knock, partly because I was afraid of who would answer and partly because today had been the longest day I'd had in a long time so I hoped no one lived here and I could curl up in my bed, fall asleep, and wake up twelve years ago like nothing had ever happened. But it wouldn't be my bed anymore, or my apartment, or my room. It was someone else's, and I don't think they would appreciate me barging in.
If I kept standing out here, I would just keep thinking about Gale and Grace and their child. That one thing, that one choice, would haunt me forever. At the time it had been amazing and passionate and all I had ever wanted to live for. Now it made me angry, at myself and Gale, at the world for forcing this on me. When I had come back to twelve, I had never intended for it to end like this, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't still love Gale.
Maybe telling Grace that wasn't the best idea, but there was a four inch gash in my arm and I had lost a lot of blood. Plus, honesty was always my best policy anyways. Unable to take thinking about Gale and Grace anymore, I rapped my knuckles on the door three times, then took a step back and drummed my free fingers on the wall.
When the door opened, a tall, brown-haired girl with deep hazel eyes greeted me. Her expression switched from confused to shock in all of three seconds.
"You know, I heard this crazy rumor that you were alive." She said, shaking her head. "But I guess I had to see it to believe it."
"Brooke." I smiled. She stepped aside and welcomed me into the apartment with a sly smile. We had been close, Brooke and I. She had been like my little sister and my favorite student all rolled into one. In her, I saw what I could have been if I had stayed here.
Brooke led me through the doorway and into the living room. Chills ran down my spine. It was eery to see someone else's pictures on the wall and shoes by the door. The place was more lived in than it ever had been when I was here. An image of Gale pressing me against the door the first time we ever had sex ran through my mind, but I forced it out, turning back to Brooke.
"So you live here now?"
"Guess I just couldn't let it go." She said, referencing the brief period where she had lived with me after she and Chase had survived their transformations. "When they auctioned it off, I jumped at the opportunity. Been here ever since."
"Still with the military?"
She nodded. "And about to be pretty busy. From what I hear, there's a rebellion brewing."
I ran a hand through my hair and closed my eyes, tilting my head towards the ceiling. A rebellion was putting it lightly. There were casualties in twelve, and those who weren't dead were being held hostage. I got this strange feeling that President Snow must have dealt with something similar right after the third quarter quell. "Who's here?" A male voice called from down the hall. Chase appeared in the doorframe. When he saw me, he ran up and gave me a bear hug, wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me up. I forgot just how strong those chemicals had made him.
"You're stronger than you think." I said when he released me.
"I learned from the best."
"That you did." I grinned. "So…you live here too?"
Chase shrugged and wrapped an arm around Brooke, planting a kiss on her cheek. "Of course, lucky for her."
"Yeah, lucky." Brooke rolled her eyes but I saw her smile when Chase kissed her. "We're actually getting married." She held her hand. There was a large ring on the end, a diamond surrounded by a white gold band.
An unexpected pang of jealousy ripped through me. This should be me. I should be married before them, settled before them. I was almost thirty, and somehow these two kids had their life together and I didn't. Then again, they weren't kids, not anymore. Chase had a large scar across the side of his neck. Brooke's eyes were older, more worn, more knowledgable. They hadn't been kids for a while.
"So I'm just going to ask," Brooke said, "what the hell happened in Extasia?"
Sighing, I gestured to the couch. When we were all seated, I took a breath and launched into the story of my escape from Extasia and my subsequent years hiding in District Four. Saying it now it seemed like a different life, one that I had lived a long time ago. This seemed real. It seemed like I had never left thirteen, even though I had gone so far away. Somehow things were falling back in place, and I wasn't sure how to feel about it.
I had left because it was the right thing to do. It was the only way to solve our Snow problem, or so I had thought. Looking at it now, I saw that there may have been another option, but for some reason I wanted to get away from thirteen. I still felt guilt for my father and for what I had done to Katniss, and part of me was still angry with Gale over Vanessa Kane. It all should feel like a lifetime ago, but instead I felt like I was just here yesterday, yelling at him and begging for Katniss' forgiveness. No matter how much time passes, some things never change. I thought I would grow up, but I was starting to think that people never really grew up, they just grew old.
We talked for hours. They told me about their time in the military, how Chase got his scar chasing down a convicted felon in District Nine. They taught now, or at least they had, because things had calmed down so much since the war, which people were now calling "The War of Nations." I also learned that, despite the fact that I had been something of an outlaw myself when I "died," I was now a hero.
"They literally write about you in history books." Chase said. "It's insane. All of our students know who you are, about your plan, and the sacrifice you made. It'll be crazy to see how you coming back affects them."
"You're going to be a celebrity." Brooke said. "At least in thirteen. You're like the Mockingjay of The War of Nations."
"Great." I rolled my eyes. "Speaking of Mockingjays, I left Katniss in quite a state. I should probably get back to them and see how everyone's holding up."
The three of us stood up and headed for the door. Chase said his goodbyes and went off to the bedroom. Brooke and I stood there for a moment.
"Look, you know I'm not really good with emotions." She said. "Some things never change right? But I just want you to know…what you did was incredible. You saved us. I know that. I think everybody knows that."
"Thanks Brooke."
Without warning, she threw her arms around my neck and hugged me. I hugged her back. "I never really had a family. Not until you." She whispered.
"So where's my wedding invite?" I asked when we pulled apart.
"Well I wasn't sure how to address you in the beyond." SHe rolled her eyes. "But now that you're back, I'll go ahead and write you one. It's in a few weeks though, so I hope you have a dress."
"O I'm sure someone will take me shopping." I said. "I'll see you around Brooke."
I started to walk away. "Don't die again!" She called after me down the hall.
"I'll try." I called back, lifting a hand to wave. "I'll try." I whispered again to myself, disappearing into the hallways of district thirteen.
—
Peeta's POV
I sat down on our couch, pale blue, just like every other one in District 13, and propped my feet up on the table. Tim and Marley were in their rooms reading or watching TV, and I took a second to relax. The past day had been a whirlwind. I had been shot at for the first time in twelve years. Turns out it was something that I did not miss. My head pounded as I started up at the ceiling and closed my eyes. All I wanted was to crawl into bed and sleep this day away.
The apartment door clicked open and Katniss walked in. She let out a large sigh and sat down next to me, burying her face in my shoulder.
"Sometimes I wonder if I should just give up on Gale." She muttered into my collarbone.
I turned and kissed the top of her head. "He made a mistake, but we all knew it was going to happen sooner or later. You act surprised."
"I'm not surprised he slept with Sydney." She said. "I'm surprised that Grace is pregnant, so our sticky situation just got a lot more serious."
I pulled back from her, my brow furrowing. Katniss just nodded and curled her legs up underneath her. Her eyes were closed, but I could see the tension in her forehead and her shoulders. I wrapped one arm around her and stroked her shoulder.
"You don't have to be stressed about this." I whispered. "It's Gale's issue, not ours."
"I was the maid of honor at their wedding." Katniss whispered. "Grace babysits our kids, comes to our Sunday dinners. I can't look her in the eyes and lie. It's definitely not just Gale's problem."
"How's Sydney?"
Katniss shrugged. "I feel bad for her, as stupid as that sounds. I mean she had sex with a married man. But I know Gale, and I know what he does to her. You should have seen the look on her face when they told us Grace was pregnant. It was like someone had taken her heart and torn it out of her chest."
"Where is she now?"
"Dunno. I tried to find her with no luck."
We sat there for a while in silence. Eventually Katniss' breathing evened out, and when I turned my head, I found that she was asleep. Carefully, I scooped her up in my arms and carried her to our temporary bedroom. I set her down in bed and pulled the duvet over her, kissing her lightly on the forehead. All I wanted to do was crawl in next to her, but Gale was my brother, and I had to talk to him. So I shut the door quietly behind me, told Prim to watch the kids, and headed out the door.
It turned out that finding Gale was harder than I thought it would be. I scoured thirteen, starting back at the hospital and making my way through the network of apartments and businesses. Thirteen had come a long way since we first arrived here all those years ago. It had become the place to live in Panem, the head of military activity, and the new capitol city. A new business popped up every week, and it was hard to keep track of where everything was going.
Finally, like a lightbulb clicked on in my head, I knew where to find him. I took the elevator down to the bottom floor, passed through three sets of double locked doors, and made my way into the gym where we had done our training with squad 457. The room was enormous, a huge track surrounding a firing range, a combat ring, and a virtual training center. Gale was sitting in the bleachers, his chin perched on his hands, his eyes far away.
When I made my way to him, he barely even looked up. I sat down and gazed over the space where, thirteen years ago, he had knocked me into a coma over Katniss. That seemed like a different age. Sometimes I even forgot that he had liked her.
"I hear congratulations are in order." I said.
"Yeah." Gale snorted. "Congratulations."
"You don't want to be a father?"
"I don't know what I want."
I sighed. Somehow, despite the fact that what he had done was wrong, and that he owed an apology to Grace and to Sydney, I felt for him. It was clear that he had loved Sydney from the first day he laid eyes on her. It wasn't the kind of love that left you. If Katniss died, I wouldn't stop loving her.
"I think you do." I said. "But it's killing you to admit it."
Gale pulled at his hair. "Grace is perfect. She's sweet and kind. She's a good person, a teacher. She paints and makes dinner and tells me how much she loves me. She's everything you could want in a wife."
"It doesn't matter what she is." I said. "It matters what she's not." He raised his eyebrows at me. "She's not Sydney Harper. So all of that other stuff is null and void."
"Why me? Why am I cursed with loving the most difficult woman on the face of the earth?"
"That's the point, isn't it? It's not easy. Real love isn't easy. Me finding Katniss, fighting you for her, fighting Snow for her, fighting her for her heart, it wasn't easy. You and Grace have it too easy. There's nothing below the surface. You and Sydney have this fire that will never be tamed."
He stared straight down at the bleachers. His eyes said it all. He agreed with me. There was no competition. Grace didn't stand a chance, not next to Sydney Harper.
"Look, man," I put a hand on his shoulder, "what's done is done. You can't take it back. The longer you wait to tell Grace, the worse it's going to be for you."
A slow silence passed between us. I could tell Gale was wrestling with his indecision. After all, breaking the heart of someone you love is never easy. I could still see Katniss' face after Sydney told her that we had kissed. Even in that state, where she wasn't really Katniss at all, it killed me. Then I pictured my glass phone, shattered in pieces on the floor from where Sydney had thrown it after her talk with Gale about Vanessa Kane. It was strange how we let someone hurt us so much that we drove ourselves mad, yet kept coming back for more.
"Did you ever think all those years ago when I was kicking your ass in that ring that we'd end up here?" Gale said.
I shook my head. "I never thought I'd be your friend. Turns out you're a pretty good guy. All it took was beating me to a pulp for you to realize your faults. And you did not kick my ass. You sucker punched me."
Gale nodded and held up his hands. "Guilty, guilty."
I stood up. "Come on, man. Let's get back to our women."
Gale groaned. "Do we have to?"
"How else are we going to know what to do with ourselves?"
We laughed on the way out, and I hoped that Gale would be ok. Telling Grace about his affair would be nearly impossible, but he had to face it. We all did. I thought Sydney coming back would throw our lives into a tail spin, and in a way, it did. But I looked at Gale's smile, a smile I hadn't seen in years, and at the fire that had returned to Katniss' eyes, and knew that instead Sydney had made us back into the people we were always meant to be.
