Chapter Nine

Understanding

Alex is staring at the door. She is a very intelligent woman but she is in the dark as to what occurred.

I do not understand what happened. What did I do wrong?

Trust, he kept talking about trust. I trust him.

In addition, I do not want to lose him. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Alex gets up from the couch and walks into the kitchen. She pours herself a glass of juice and takes it into the bedroom with her. She sets it down on her nightstand.

"He really left. Damnit! Is that what he really wants?"

She then changes into her nightgown.

"Shit what am I going to do? Call him and apologize. For what I don't know what I did wrong."

She unconsciously picks up the phone. "No. Not over the phone." She sets it down and gets into bed. "Tomorrow, I'll talk to him tomorrow face to face."

The Next Morning

She showers and is in her car before 10 AM and across the bridge to Brooklyn. She parks on the street and sits in the care for a minute of two.

Be prepared Alex, he might tell you to go to hell.

She slowly exits the car and walks up the driveway. She stares at the doorbell for a moment and then pushes it.

He answers the door but she was hoping it would be one of the boys. He looks at her and then he looks away. She says, "Morning."

He just nods and for the first time since she has known him he looks very tall and angry. She shrugs it off. "Bobby may I please come in." He exhales and stands aside. "Sure." He steps aside and follows her into the room. "Sit down if you want."

She passes the couch and sits in the loveseat. She looks up and he is standing by the couch with his arms crossed. "I know that just saying I'm sorry won't change anything…………." He cuts her off. "Damn right."

"You're not going to make this easy are you?"

"Why should I? If you have come here to ease your conscience, you are wasting your time. You're not going to get absolution from me."

"I just did what comes naturally to me I didn't intend to hurt you."

"You do have a tendency to mask who you are with what you do."

Her first thought is to argue that fact but she knows that he is right. She nods her head. She finds it hard to look at him.

"When I started to investigate this I was not thinking about your honor. I was satisfying my curiosity. In addition, when I was finished I wrestled with the thought of talking to you but I decided against it. Now I wish I had. I should have told you what I was doing." She lifts her head to see that his expression of anger is fading.

"Maybe I am a little sensitive about this. If it was some one else it probably wouldn't bother me as much." He uncrosses his arms and starts to pace around the room. "One of the hardest things to overcome when you get out of jail is to get people to believe in you and trust you. When I was young, I did not give a shit but as I got older, I realized that if you want to live in this world the more people you have on your side the easier it is to survive. For some reason I thought you were on my side. I felt as if the clock was turned back fifteen years and I had to prove myself." He bends down and makes eye contact with her. "I am not, nor will I ever again prove who I am to anybody, not even you."

"I can understand that."

He straightens up. "No you can't."

"Yes I can. I know what it is like to have to prove who you are and what you can do. You don't have to prove yourself to me Bobby, I know who you are."

"Yeah, that's an easy thing to say to someone. However, I am who I am. I am not proud of the things that I have done but I cannot change the past. What happened is what happened and you have to decide how much of my past affects how you think of me?" He crosses his arms again. "If I knew Stewart from school and had not been associated with him in a criminal act we wouldn't be having this conversation. And you never would have proceeded with your investigation."

She nods her head. "You're right."

He walks over to the couch and sits down.

"When you found the material on the table I expected and knew that you would be honest with me. Moreover, you had ever right to think that I would be just as honest with you. I should have given you the same consideration. I was wrong in what I did and how I acted. I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me."

She waits for a response but he stays quiet.

"Bobby, do you think we can get past this?"

"I let you in the house, didn't I?" She smiles as he gets up from the couch and sits next to her on the loveseat. "The past few weeks have been fantastic. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world." He takes a hold of her hand. "I haven't felt this way about anyone in a long time and……….I like it and I don't want to lose you." He lifts her hand to his lips and kisses her hand. "Hell my kids even like you, they think you're cool."

"Really they think I'm cool." She smiles. "That's nice to hear because I really like them also. They are good kids. You should be proud."

He sits back in the chair and pulls her with him as he places his arm around her shoulder. "I am, every hour of every day." He gives her a light squeeze.

"You're very good at what you do." He says with a smile on his face. "I think I can forgive you for being a cop."

She nudges him with her elbow. "Ok I deserved that."

"I thought you would have put up more of a fight last night."

"I didn't know how to respond. You kind of threw me for a loop." She pauses. "I have to admit that I had no idea why you were so upset." She smiles and tugs on his hand. "I never wanted or meant to hurt you."

He nods his head as he leans forward and lightly kisses her lips. She reaches up and puts her arms around his neck. They hold each other until they hear.

"Oh man that's gross."

Whispering Bobby says. "Damn I forgot they were in the house." He releases his hold on her. "What? What do you want?"

"Are we going to the mall?"

"Yes we're going but not right now."

"You said we could go out for breakfast first."

"When did I say that?"

"You said that yesterday?"

"I did?"

Chris has since entered the room. "Yep that's what you said. And I'm hungry."

Bobby stands up and takes Alex's hand. "Have you had breakfast yet?"

She shakes her head. "No. Moreover, I am hungry too. Come on let's go, my treat."

Sunday Afternoon

Eames BBQ

Bobby, Alex and the boys arrive at Michael and Theresa Eames home a little after 1:30. Laurie is the only one who knows about Bobby. Her parents, along with her brother are pleasantly surprised that she has brought someone with her, especially someone with two boys.

She walks over to her parents and her father stands. "Dad I'd like you to meet Bobby Goren. John Eames extends his hand and Bobby shakes his hand. "It's nice to meet you Mister Eames."

"Nice to meet you Bobby, call me John."

"Bobby this is my Mom. "How are you Misses Eames?"

"I'm fine thank you. Please call me Sara."

Alex has her hand on each of the boy's shoulders. She pats them as she introduces them "Mom, Dad this is Chris and this is Tommy."

"Hi guys," says John.

"Hello Chris, Tommy." The boys' waves, then they look to Alex. "You didn't tell us they had a pool." Chris says.

"No but I told your Dad. And he has your suits in the car." They look at the older couple. "Can we go in?" Chris asks.

John smiles as he looks toward his son who nods his head. "Sure guys go on in."

Alex makes the rounds and introduces him to her brother and his wife, Laurie and her husband.

Later That Day

Alex and Laurie are in the kitchen along with Theresa. They are fixing salads' and sorting food. "Hey Alex," says Theresa.

"Yeah."

"Where did he get those eyes? Oh wow." She asks with a smile on her face.

"I noticed that right away." Alex smiles, "Along with a few other things." She raises her eyebrows up and down. The three women giggle. "He's a great guy and I am so………….." She gets s little embarrassed. "Happy."

"He does remind me of Vinny, you were right. Moreover, his boys are very friendly and polite. He's done a good job with them by himself." Laurie says.

"He's has and he's very lucky in that his ex, former I'm not sure what to call them, in-laws treat him like he's their son and not a son-in-law. It is a very special relationship with them and they are there for him and the boys when he needs them. I met them they are very warm and caring people."

Laurie grabs her sister's arm. "I'm happy for you Alex, I like him."

"I do too." Theresa says. "So did you two talk about me when you first met me?'

Alex puts her hand on her sister-in-laws shoulder. "Actually we wondered what you saw in Michael."

They all laugh as Michael walks into the kitchen. "The grill's ready."

The afternoon was pleasant and everyone including Chris and Tommy had a great time.

Later That Evening

"I hope you guys had a good time today."

"I did." Says Chris

"Yes I agree."

"Did you have a good time?" Alex asks, lightly touching his arm.

"I had a great time. You have a very nice family. Thanks for inviting us."

We are good. She smiles as she lays her head back in the seat and closes her eyes.

One Police Plaza

Monday Afternoon

Alex's cell phone rings. She checks the number. It is not familiar. "Hello."

"Hello this is Patrick Casey, Alex?"

"Yes this is Alex. How are you Mister Casey?"

Bobby's father-in-law is calling me. Why is he calling me?

A very strange feeling goes through her.

He ignores her question.

"Chris and Tommy asked me to call you. It's Bobby…...He's been in an accident, the motorcycle."

"Oh my God!" She stands up. "How is he?"

"We've been here close to an hour and no one has told us a Goddamn thing." He pauses. "I'm sorry for raising my voice."

"Don't apologize, I understand. Which hospital is he in?"

"Saint Peters."

"I'll be right there."

"Alex."

"Yes."

"Please drive safe."

"I will. See you soon."

TBC