A/N: This story's nearing its conclusion. Just one more chapter left after this one.

I'd just like to remind you all that I am a very sensitive person. Whenever I complete a story and I see that readers unfollow, I get offended and feel used. I know that some people don't intend that but that's how I take it. By all means, feel free to favorite or unfavorite this story as you see fit. I can't dictate your choice of stories :p It's the unfollowing that makes me think that you're a first-class butthole though lmao.

Anyways, thanks for reading and being great thus far :D! It's been a pleasure to write this story for you guys. Reviews are always appreciated as they feed the muse ;)

Enjoy~!


"Please rise. The Court of Nations is now in session, the Honourable Judge Clarence Presiding."

BAM!

I recognized the familiar sound of a gavel smacking against a wooden surface.

"Welcome, Ladies and Gents, to the case of parent Lovino Vargas!"

The ground rumbled again, and a podium fit for a God emerged from it. Oh wait…

I looked down, realizing that I was standing on solid cloud, where multiple vapour trails licked at my feet. I attempted to look up at the giant podium resting before me, but found myself forced to look down again. How odd. This was just like the time that I had seen the image of Texan God sitting in the 'movie theatre'. All I could see were giant hands, but no face. His face must have been blurred out by a 'heavenly' censor.

Cheers erupted around me, the sounds of their shouts echoing as if we were in stadium, and yet I couldn't spot anyone.

"W-where the hell am I?!" I spluttered.

The crowd gasped, most of whom muttered: "How dare he say such a word in here?!"

The Judge cleared his throat. "Weren't you listening to me the first time, partner?" the unfortunately familiar voice of Texan God drawled.

"We're here today to judge your parenting skills. Now if you could please take a place behind your podium that'd be great! I've gotta helluva lot of cases to hear today!"

I shook my head in disorientation, numbly walking over to stand behind my podium. I hadn't been expecting to undergo a trial for my parenting. I had only been expecting for the spell to wear off overnight. Hence the reason I had put Spain to bed so early in the first place.

"This is absolutely ridiculous," I muttered to myself.

It was absolutely mortifying for me to hold a court session in a tomato print pajama suit. But then again, I had gone through far worse with little Spain over the past day.

POOF!

A justice scale popped into sight, situating itself on the flat part of my podium. On the right side of the scale, there was a soccer ball, and on the left, there was a floating green ball of gas that remotely looked like a ghost. At least that's what I think it was.

"Do you see that scale, young man?"

"S-si?"

"Good. That right there will decide whether you have passed the parenting test. We will judge you according to two criteria. That being, the levels of traumatization and fun that your chibified lover has experienced over the past 24 hours."

"Do you have any questions?"

I was too stunned to respond.

"Alrighty! Let's begin then, shall we?"

"Jesus, take the scale~!" Texan God sung, and obnoxiously at that.

The left side of the scale dipped dangerously towards surface level, leaving the right side suspended high up in the air.

Texan God tsked, while the invisible crowd leered with disapproving sighs.

"Gosh! That's a lot of traumatization for just one day! Lemme see here. You yelled at the child for puking, you incessantly swore in front of him, you carelessly let him get hurt at the park, he almost choked on a mint…and oh wait! That's right! You also sassed the judge on countless occasions!"

"Oi!" I roared. "Are you only going to focus on my faults?! I did a lot of good things too, damn it!"

"Do you wish to holler upon a witness?"

"Hell yeah I do!"

The ground rumbled once more, and another white podium popped into place beside me.

"Bring in my fratello!" I commanded.

"Tsk! So bossy!" Texan God scolded, causing me to roll my eyes in annoyance.

POOF!

The clouds cleared, and it wasn't long before Feliciano was waving at me from behind his own podium. For reasons inexplicable, the airhead was wearing his WW2 uniform.

"Ciao Lovi!" he beamed, looking around in awe at the whiteness before him. "Ve, is this a dream?"

"No, you idiota!" I growled. "I'm on trial now. They're judging my parenting skills!"

"Ohhhhhhhhh," Feliciano hummed in understanding. "Nice pajamas by the way."

"Feli, for the love of fuck, you're my only witness. I need you to help me convince them that I'm a good parent."

"Ve, I'm not a miracle-worker, Lovi."

"Whose side are you on?!" I growled.

"Yours, I guess?"

"Then fucking act like it!"

"Ahem, are y'all kiddies done counselling with each other?"

I nodded my head, aiming one last sharpened glance at Feliciano. "Si. We are."

Texan God cleared his throat. "Great! Feliciano Vargas! You have been brought here today to testify on your brother's behalf. Do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth?"

Feliciano raised his right hand in salute. "I do!"

"Tell me, what are your thoughts on your brother's parenting skills?"

"Ve, well," Feliciano shifted nervously. "Fratello can be really grumpy at times, but he always means well. The whole time that I was playing with little Spain, he was always talking about how much he loved Lovi. I could tell that the bambino really liked him."

Unbeknownst to me, the scale tipped slightly towards the right.

The crowd murmured in discussion, only to quiet when Texan God slammed his gavel several times.

I turned to give Feliciano the dirtiest glare on Heaven. "You couldn't have, oh I don't know, left out the part about me being grumpy?!"

Feliciano shied under my gaze, cupping a hand around his mouth to whisper back to me. "I swore to tell the truth. I can't just lie for you!"

"Keh, some witness you are!" I spat out.

"Ahem, thank you, Feliciano Vargas. Your time spent here was very much appreciated. You're free to go now."

Feliciano reached out for me. "Wait! I'm not done yet! I still have to-!"

POOF!

Feliciano disappear in a cloud of smoke, and just like that, my chances of winning this case were cut in half.

"Mr. Vargas, your defense?"

"I…uh…"

"Do you need someone to speak on your behalf?"

"N-no! I'll do it myself," I nervously raked a hand through my hair. I had nothing prepared. This speech was going to be a complete and utter shitshow.

My knees trembled as I walked out from behind my podium. I needed more space to walk and think this through.

"Now, I know what you're all thinking. Si, I'll admit it, I wasn't the perfect parent to Spain. But here's the thing. No parent is perfect. I worked my ass off to take care of him. I made him food, clothed him, and coddled him way too much for his own spoiled good."

"Such profanity!" The crowd chorused. I was too focused to heed them any attention.

"I mean, for fuck's sakes! I went through hell and back just to make that child happy. I was puked on, pissed on, punched, and even had my arm broken! And despite all this, I still found myself caring about that entitled little shit!

"I was wrong, okay?! There is no better parent. Spain did his thing when I was younger, and I did mine today. We laughed, we cried, and we fought. Fuck, we fought a lot. It was a difficult process, but I don't regret a single thing.

"I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to parenting. The way I see it, success for me was when I could put a smile on that bambino's face. Whether it was singing silly songs, tickling him, playing sports, or whatever the hell else, his happiness was all that ever mattered to me.

"I now appreciate my lover far more than I've ever had before. The only thing that I'm good at is loving that bastard unconditionally. Child or adult, I will always love Spain, and that's a fact.

"I'm actually glad to have had this experience. It made me realize just how much Spain had gone through to raise me into the nation that I am today. I'll end this by apologizing for my arrogance. I was wrong to underestimate what my lover had gone through so many years ago.

"Parenting is difficult! But more than that, it's just so fucking rewarding. All it took was one smile for me to fall for him all over again. I don't take anything back. Even if I don't win this case, just know that I love that child with all my heart!"

I trailed off, panting from exertion as I finished my speech.

"Awwwwwwwwwwww~!" the crowd audibly swooned.

I waved my hand around, not knowing where to look. "Uh…that's all I have. Thanks for your time…"

The scale tipped more and more towards the right. I clenched my fists in anticipation. Come on…almost there….!

BAM!

Texan God rapped his gavel twice. "Hmmmm. It appears that Spain had a lot of fun with you as well," he remarked.

"Keh, I would sure hope so."

"I've come up with a decision! You've passed the test!"

I cried out with relief as I watched the scale tip completely towards the right. The crowd cheered, while I fell to my knees, sobbing like a little bitch.

"It's finally over," I blubbered. "Oh God, I fucking missed that bastard."

"Well done, son! You've finally learned your lesson."

"E-excuse me?" I sniffed.

"Taking care of a child is more than just technicalities. It requires love, and despite your tsundere, potty mouth exterior, you seem to be full of that feeling!"

"Does this mean that everything will go back to normal now?"

"Yeeeeeeeeeeee."

"I'm just going to take that as a yes." I bowed my head in thanks. As you can see, dignity was merely a fad of the past.

"Grazie."

"Yer welcome~! Oh, ya might want to cover your ears!"

"Huh?!"

"Goodbye, little tomato! Don't come back now, ya hear?"

WHOOOOSH!

The world span before me and the sound of the invisible clapping jury faded away. I felt as if I had just been sucked down a rabbit hole, one that oddly smelled of burnt taquitos.

I opened my eyes, crying out when my ears popped. Ah, so that's what that Texan bastard had warned me about. It was a little too fucking late for that.

I blinked, taking in my surroundings. I was back in Spain's bedroom, lying on his bed. A shuffle to my right prompted me to turn around. I was met with a sunny smile and a pair of glowing green orbs.

The deep rumble of my lover's voice almost made me piss my pants out of joy.

"Lovi? What are you doing up so late, mi amor?"

To be continued…