Day 9

A/N: I totally forgot to mention but they ended up finishing the challenge when Akutagawa's nails were dry (they had to fix it after the fight though), i'll mention it in a few seconds i guess. And i was too lazy to do things so this chapter is like 90% random cutoffs right now

All day at the agency you kept getting distracted by your nails. They ended up getting painted glittery. No specific colors. Just glitter flakes in a clear liquid. You liked glitter, but you didn't realize just how noticeable it was. Even Ranpo, who has his eyes closed most of the time, noticed. Although he probably isn't a great example.

Yosano complimented your ability with fingernail-painting for a first-timer. It hurt your soul knowing that Akutagawa was actually the one who did it.

How was he allowed to be good at it? He didn't even want to in the first place!

When you started heading home, Dazai got in your path, because of course it's never gonna be easy for you.

"I just wanted you to know that Chuuya and I are coming by your apartment later with wine and good food, so don't bother cooking anything~"

"Why?"

"Our DVD player is broken."

"I would complain but I'm too tired to."


"Yosano said you paint nails well." You said as you entered the apartment. You never figured out how he always gets back first. Surely he could be late once in his life?

"Great." He put his book down. "Don't leave your bag there."

You kept walking, not going back for the bag. "By the way, Chuuya and Dazai are coming over tonight. They should be bringing wine and dinner, although I'm pretty sure the wine is mostly for Chuuya."

"I told you to get that bag. Why are they coming over?"

"And I ignored you. I think they were bored."

"I hate you."

"Thanks, you too."


"Helllooooo, Atsushi, and Akutagawa~" Dazai burst through the door without knocking first.

"Pardon our intrusion." Chuuya followed. It was funny seeing an executive of the port mafia being the polite one, but with a companion like Dazai, it sorta made sense.

"Ah, you aren't intruding, you are both welcome. Just try to give more advance warning next time…" You got up off of the couch to greet them.

You remembered that there weren't enough seats for four people. Maybe Dazai stashed more in the closet and you didn't see them? Just when you were about to ask, Akutagawa dragged two folding chairs into the room.

"Where were those?" You asked.

"In the closet?" He put them down for you to presumably set out. Lazy asshole.

"But I checked there before and they weren't there!"

"You probably didn't look hard enough."

"Excuse you?"

"You're too big of an idiot to see what was there in plain view for anyone with half a brain, Nacchan."

"I apologize if a simple mistake makes me an idiot, Akkun."

"You got the simple part right."

Chuuya looked at Dazai with suspicion, "Since when did they start calling each other such affectionate names?"

"I think they did it out of spite."

Chuuya ended up bringing several bottles of wine, and felt charitable enough to offer some to everyone else (not the good stuff though), ignoring the fact that you weren't old enough to legally drink. You refused, anyway, but dang the mafia was weird. You guessed that if they had no qualms murdering people and the likes, abiding by other trivial laws wasn't much of a concern.

Akutagawa ended up having a couple of glasses.

"I never expected you to be one to drink much, Akutagawa." Dazai mentioned, you weren't sure if he was concerned or amused, but probably both.

"Living in this apartment, maybe I should be." He went for another glass. Rude.

"Mm, your cheeks look a bit red~ Are you a lightweight, Akutagawa?"

"Hey, did you ever name your cat?"

"Somehow we ended up calling him Maru-Chan."

You were talking to Dazai aimlessly about various topics, while observing the beautiful thing that was drunken Akutagawa. He was loose-lipped, opinionated, and pretty dramatic in comparison to his normal state.

Right at the moment, he was gossiping about random members of the mafia to Chuuya. You wouldn't of thought Akutagawa even payed attention to gossip, but somehow he managed to pick up all of the things he was talking about. Unless he made them up himself, which was entirely possible.

"Hey, Akkun, do you know any secrets about the detective agency?"

He pivoted in the direction of your voice, "Hmm, someone saw the lady-doctor with a date once."

"Is that all?"

"Her date was a girl."

You were shocked, Chuuya said something about lesbians, Dazai looked like he already knew.

Akutagawa lit up after remembering something, "Oh, oh, oh! And in the detective agency, other than Kyouka, there's a former mafia-"

Chuuya jumped over to Akutagawa and covered his mouth, "No, no, no, don't fucking mention it. Dazai was a big secret!"

"Right!"

"Right!"

They started laughing uncontrollably. You weren't sure how to feel about seeing Akutagawa laugh without any murderous intent.

Dazai looked annoyed by their exchange, though.

"At this rate, they'd get to telling all of the confidential information that they know. I should probably take Chuuya back."

You raised an eyebrow at him, but overall agreed with the idea. It was just weird he was so eager to leave despite having been amused by Akutagawa's state previously. Was it because Chuuya mentioned him and the mafia stuff? It was probably a sore subject. You didn't know much about it, but you decided that Dazai is allowed to his secrets.

"What am I supposed to do about him?" You gestured vaguely to Akutagawa, "I've never had to deal with this stuff before."

Dazai smirked at your concern. "Hmmmmmm. Roommate Challenge #9: Take care of him~"

"Wait, aren't these supposed to be partner challenges. Why am I the only one doing anything?"

"I'm sure he will suffer enough tomorrow as is. It all evens out really." Without further ado he went to grab Chuuya, and was met with resistance. Eventually, Dazai was carrying him piggy-back style out of the apartment, leaving you with his sentiments. "Good luck."

Life isn't fair.


"Nacchan," The only voice left in the room started, and you vaguely recalled a conversation about your lack of a sense of danger. "I have a question."

You wanted nothing to do with this entire situation all of the sudden.

"Maybe ask it tomorrow."

"No, I wanna know today."

"Fine, only one question, though."

"Yay!" He started coughing, but continued once it was under control. "So, why do you hate me?"

Inside your brain was the sound of sirens, "We've gone over it before."

"Yes, but I don't like any of your reasons. They're all dumb-dumb-dumb."

"I don't know what you want me to do about it."

He reached towards the remaining wine, and you rushed over to take it away from him. More drinks were probably not the best plan.

"Maybe you should come up with better reasons. Or give it up altogether."

"What do you mean by that?" You were sure he was just talking nonsense in his state.

"I mean, I don't hurt you anymore, and I thought I apologized so I don't know why you're so butthurt about it still."

You remembered a similar point being made by Dazai. But wait a second, "You didn't apologize, firstly." And since when does he even use the word butthurt? What does that even mean?

"Nacchan, you're so cruel. Just because I never said so doesn't mean I wasn't sorry. Cruel-dumb Nacchan."

"You're… you're sorry about everything?"

"100%. I could have proved myself to Dazai some other way. Well. I did prove myself. Sort of. He said I was stronger, so now all I can do is make sure that I keep it up. Haha, then you won't catch up!" He stuck his tongue out. "But really, Dazai pays attention to me, he praises me, even if he does joke a lot and seems to care about you too much for my liking, isn't this more ideal than what it was before? Had you not shown up I wouldn't have gotten this far. I almost think I should be thankful."

You briefly wondered if you could believe a word of this.

The way his words poured out naturally, hindered only by the way the wine slurred his speech, they all seemed too improvised to be some weird lie. He couldn't be plotting anything amiss like this.

"So, do you still hate me?" He asked.

You didn't want to think about this. You couldn't. Asking yourself that question was only okay if you got an instant 'yes' as the answer, and you weren't sure that would be the result.

"It's late, you need to get to sleep."

"Not until you answer my question. I won't sleep. Fuck you."

You were struck with a sudden inspiration.

Instead of answering, you moved over to where he was sitting on the sofa and picked him up. You weren't carrying him like Dazai was Chuuya, more like slinging him over your shoulder, but it still worked.

"Let me gooooo!" He slammed his fists against your back with as much force as he could muster like this. Ow.

But otherwise he was pretty light, and you had the advantages of being sober, relatively healthy in comparison, and the literal ability to transform into a tiger, so he was easy to carry into his room. When you dropped him on his bed he tried to get up, so you just held him down. There had to be a better way to handle him.

Just when you were coming to terms with the idea of staying there all night, you looked back down to see that Akutagawa had passed out.

Thank all of the gods.

End Day 9