You and I

Chapter 9: Pain

I woke up with pain in my stomach. I look around the room and see my parents and Tobias sleeping in the chairs that surround my hospital bed. My mum and Tobias hold my hands, my dad holds my mum's free hand.

I remember what happened and I start to cry. Which wakes Tobias up.

He sits on the edge of the bed and holds me in his arms whilst I sob into him, making his shirt wet with my tears.

"Everything's going to be okay, Tris, I promise."

"That's easy for you to say, you didn't just lose a baby."

"Tris, I love you. I told you before that if you were pregnant I was going to stay with you, and help you. I cared for that baby too."

"Then why were you practically begging me, with your eyes, for me to have the operation?"

"Because I didn't want to lose you. I can't lose you. If I lost you I would have nothing left to live for. I love you. You are everything to me. I want to be able to have a family with you one day and it would have been very unlikely for that to happen if you continued with the pregnancy. If you die, Tris, I die, too." I start crying more. "Also, did you really want a baby that was created because Peter raped you?" He continues.

I pull away from him.

"Can you go, please?"

"Tris…"

"Go!" I yell at him, cutting him off from whatever he was going to say.

He nods, looking sad, and he slowly walks out of the room. I cry some more.

I feel familiar, comforting arms wrap around me. My mum.

She strokes my hair like she did when I was a child and I was sick, or after I had a bad dream.

My dad wraps his arms around us as well.

They keep telling me that everything is going to be all right.

I wish I could believe them.

It's been a few hours since I woke up. My nurse gave me some pain killers and the tablet that makes you bleed for days to get rid of the pregnancy hormones that could ruin my tube if they stayed in there for too long. I have to stay here until I stop bleeding.

My parents had to leave an hour ago to go back to Abnegation. They were only allowed to stay for a day.

Shauna is with me now. Tobias hasn't come back since I told him to go.

I don't know why I told him to go. Maybe because he mentioned me being raped. Or because of what he asked. Or maybe because I wanted to be with my parents. I honestly have no idea.

"How're you feeling?" Shauna asks me.

"The same as I was feeling five minutes ago when you asked."

"Tris, you can have more kids in the future, you know that, right? Also, you're sixteen, I think it's a bit too soon to be a mum."

"Yeah, but I promised myself that if I was pregnant that I would love that baby. And I do love that baby. I did something that I promised myself I would never do."

"What's that?"

"Killing one of my kids. I promised myself that I would never get an abortion, or do something to put any of my kids in danger. And I did just that. I killed my baby. The baby I love, even if Peter is the dad and he raped me, it was still my baby, and I still love him or her."

I'm crying again now.

"Tris, there is still time for you to be a mum. You have many more years of living. You can get married and have as many kids as you want. You can have a life."

"Can you go and find Four for me, please? I need him."

She nods and hugs me before leaving.

Twenty minutes later Tobias rushes into the room and over to me, wrapping his arms around me again.

"I'm sorry about what I said earlier." He apologises.

"It's fine. You have no reason to be sorry."

He kisses the top of my head.

"I love you, Tris."

"I love you, too, Tobias."

Hey Ravens, sorry for the wait, I have exams this month to revise for so updates aren't going to be that frequent. Though after May 19th I will be able to update more, I promise.

I will update again when I can.

Please review!