Chapter 9! Sorry if it took me a bit longer to update this time. Warning: this chapter contains some abuse, might be sensitive for some readers.
Chapter Nine: The Truth
Only two people were allowed to visit at a time. Howard and Raj immediately stepped back, eyes on Leonard. Amy looked at Penny and did something unexpected—she reached out and squeezed Penny's hand. Amy and Bernadette stayed with the boys. Not a word was spoken, yet Leonard and Penny knew what had to be done. And so they sat there—Penny in a chair across Sheldon's bed and Leonard standing right by Sheldon. His arms hung limply at his side as if he didn't know what to do with them.
Penny couldn't stop replaying the scene in her head. The sound of the car hitting Sheldon. Blood on the pavement, blood on Sheldon's face. Leonard's deafening scream as he dropped to his knees, Amy's strangled gasp of surprise and terror. The scene played over and over in her head, and it wouldn't stop until Sheldon woke up. But he lay there motionless. Penny wondered, stomach twisted, if the doctors had only allowed them in because he didn't have much time left. She told herself that it was a stupid thought. She felt sick. She thought of blood hitting the pavement.
Leonard didn't know what to feel. After his initial scream, his initial burst of terror, he lost everything else. At that moment, he was so filled with dread, shock, pain—but now he stood lifeless, watching his best friend lie there. He didn't want to think of what he had said to Sheldon moments before it happened. He couldn't remember exactly, but in case it was something cruel, in case it was fear masked in anger, Leonard didn't want to remember. So he stood there, willing Sheldon to wake up.
Howard and Raj stood by the coffee machine a floor up. They hadn't talked for a while, but they still had so much to say. It seemed as though it was always that way between them. After a moment, Howard forced himself to look at his friend. Raj's eyes met Howard's. Howard put his hand on Raj's shoulder and squeezed tightly.
"You okay, buddy?" Howard asked quietly, eyes still boring into Raj's.
"I don't know." Raj shrugged.
"Yeah, me too."
And the boys walked downstairs back to Amy and Bernadette.
Bernadette's mind was filled with thoughts of Sheldon and Howard. She, like Penny, couldn't shake the image of Sheldon getting hit. She thought of the tears springing into Howard's eyes and realized she had never seen him cry before. She thought of the way he looked to Raj for an answer, for comfort. She thought of so much her head started to hurt, but she still couldn't stop thinking.
And Amy. Intelligent, gifted Amy. She could almost feel Sheldon tensing up under her touch. Every time she put a hand on his shoulder or even wrapped her arms around him, Sheldon became tighter, as if he was scared. Like he was preparing himself for something that was going to happen next. Amy hated to be emotional. She hated to cry or to laugh too hard. But she couldn't stop what she was feeling now, and she longed for Penny to be next to her. Penny always knew what to do. Penny had emotions—perhaps too many of them—and would know what to tell Amy. But Penny was with Sheldon, and she belonged there. Everyone knew that.
Leonard and Penny's eyes met over Sheldon's bed. Penny shook her head slightly.
"It's okay, Leonard," She whispered, reading his mind. He looked up at her with fear in his glistening brown eyes. "It's okay."
"Penny?" A hoarse, cracked voice made Penny and Leonard jump. Sheldon's eyelids fluttered and he turned his head to the voice that was speaking.
"Penny?"
"Oh my God," Penny breathed, standing up and rushing to Sheldon's bed. He looked terrible. His face was almost entirely purple and puffy. His eyes, once he opened them, Penny saw were bloodshot. "Sheldon…" She didn't know what to say. Are you okay? Does it hurt? They were stupid questions to ask. She stood there silently, stupidly, refusing to tear her eyes away from Sheldon.
Sheldon turned his head toward Leonard slowly. It looked painful. He squeezed his eyes shut as he shifted his position and grunted softly.
"I'm here, Shelly," Leonard said fearfully. The name escaped him before he could stop it. "I'm right here."
With Leonard's assurance, Sheldon breathed a torn sigh of relief turned on his back and stared up at the fluorescent hospital lights, blinking slowly. Penny and Leonard watched him with their breaths caught in their throats. Neither had a clue of what to say next. Luckily, Sheldon opened his cracked mouth to speak.
"I think I should tell you…" Sheldon paused and took another ragged breath. "I think I should tell you now."
"Sweetie, don't talk, you need to rest," Penny went to touch Sheldon's cheek, but thought twice and retracted her hand quickly. Leonard still stood feet away from Sheldon's bed, refusing to get too close. Sheldon shook his head.
"I want you to know." Leonard had never been so scared. There was no going back when he saw Sheldon take a deep, rattling breath and begin.
"I was ten-years-old."
"Goodbye, Shellybean," Mary called casually from the front door. She had one arm slung around Georgie, the other holding Missy's hand. "I'm dropping Georgie off at Luke's house to play, and then Missy and I will be at the store. We'll be back in a few hours." The door swung shot and Sheldon was left alone at the kitchen table with a textbook in front of him. By his feet towered another five textbooks that he had finished earlier that day. George sat on the couch watching a muted TV.
"They seemed to know the best times to leave," Sheldon said bitterly. "When he was at his worst. It's not their fault, and I didn't see the point of going out to play with others, so I stayed home."
"Hey, bring me a beer," George slurred. Sheldon wiped his forehead with his sleeve. It was a hot, sticky day. Cicadas were buzzing outside loud as sirens. The sound rang in Sheldon's ears as he went to the refrigerator to fetch a beer for his father. Sheldon's socks stuck against the wooden floor as he walked across the kitchen and into the TV room. He gave his father the beer and turned to walk away.
"It was like any other day. I was just reading, and he was just drinking. Nothing was different."
Before Sheldon could leave, he felt a strong, calloused hand close on his shoulder. His heart started to beat faster. George had put the beer down next to him. His eyes still glued on the TV. George didn't say anything as he pulled Sheldon closer to him, readjusting his hand on Sheldon's shoulder, gripping the fabric tightly. Sheldon snuck a glance at George. His eyes were red. He smelled of sweat and beer. Sheldon's stomach turned as he squirmed, trying to escape the grasp of his father.
"Something was wrong. It didn't hurt, but it…"
"I'm going to go now," Sheldon said, but made no effort to move. He was paralyzed in his fear. George had never looked like this before. Sheldon felt sick. George's grip never loosened. Instead, Sheldon found himself being pulled forcefully toward George, his father's fingernails digging into his skin. Sheldon knew if he didn't run, he would have some explaining to do to his mother. Something he couldn't cover up with a simple lie of falling down the stairs.
"I'm going to go now," Sheldon's voice shook. He could barely get the words out, his throat was so tight.
When George tore his red eyes away from the TV, Sheldon ran.
"I didn't need to look to know that he was behind me," Sheldon said hoarsely. Tears were already streaming down Penny's face. Leonard breathed heavily.
Sheldon ran into the kitchen, pausing to pick up his textbook and clutch it to his chest. George was one step behind him. Sheldon heard the scrape of a kitchen knife against the counter and his heart jumped to his throat. It was then Sheldon tripped over a pair of shoes left lying on the floor. A pair of shiny Mary Jane shoes that Missy was playing dress-up with earlier. Sheldon had refused to play such a silly game. He kicked the shoes away, turning onto his back and facing his father.
"Dad, please!"
"It was the first time I ever called him that."
"Dad, please, stop!" George raised the knife and without a second thought brought it down on his son. Sheldon let out the terrible scream of a young boy. Part of him hoped that it would be heard throughout the world, and some superhero would come to his rescue. He would burst through the door in a cape and a mask, knocking George aside and scooping Sheldon up in his arms. But no one heard the scream. They lived in deserted land. No neighbors. No friends. No one to save him. The knife ripped through Sheldon's shirt, skimming his skin. George leaned into him and the knife cut deeper. Tears ran from Sheldon's eyes and he realized he was sobbing. With a final struggle, Sheldon managed to kick George's knee. George fell suddenly, unable to keep his balance. Sheldon clutched his stomach with one arm and put the knife in the sink with his free hand. He turned on the water, washing the blood away. No one would know. No one would have to know.
Sheldon tore up the stairs to his room and ripped off his shirt. Blood streamed from his chest to the rickety wooden floor. Sheldon collapsed to his knees, crying, and tried to wipe the blood away.
"There was so much blood. I never knew he hated me that much." Sheldon sounded like a child. Leonard dared not to look up at Penny. His own eyes were blurred with tears.
When Mary and Missy came home, George had pulled himself up on the kitchen chair. He had a beer in one hand and rested his head on his arm, dozing at the table. The kitchen knives were set in their proper place. A muted TV flickered in the background. Everything was normal.
Sheldon sat upstairs and waited for the bleeding to stop. He had fixed it up the best that he could—after everything he read, he had a good idea of what to do to fix it. Or at least try. When he wrapped himself up in a bandage, he threw on another T-shirt and went downstairs to meet his mother. Perhaps he would ask to go to the library for more books. It would be fine.
Some things could never be healed, though. It was the last time Sheldon spoke to his father. It was the last time Sheldon allowed someone to touch him—ever since then, his breath caught and his heart jumped when he came in contact with anyone else. It was the last time he made any sacrifices for anyone. He knew how they turned out. And it wasn't fair.
He enrolled in the University and left his house without looking back. A crying Missy, an angry Georgie, a heartbroken mother. But he didn't look back.
"My family never looked at me the same way again," Sheldon said. His voice cracked. "It was, of course, impossible that they would know what had happened. But I was young. I wondered if they hated me as much as I hated myself." Sheldon paused. He took one look at Penny, and then turned his head toward Leonard.
"I lied to you because that's what I thought I needed to do. After it happened, I told myself never to speak about it to anyone. I'm supposed to be a genius. I'm supposed to have no flaws. I'm supposed to be right all the time. I needed to lie about this."
"No you didn't," Leonard said, but he choked on his words and they were lost on Sheldon.
Almost as an afterthought, Sheldon opened his mouth. "It still really hurts." Tears streamed down Sheldon's bruised face, his eyes still locked on Leonard. Penny covered her mouth with her hand and rushed out of the room, slamming the sliding glass door behind her. Leonard took two steps towards the bed and grabbed Sheldon's hand. After a few moments, Sheldon's round blue eyes fluttered closed. Leonard allowed himself to burst into tears and gather his best friend in his arms, rocking him back and forth, back and forth, until the pain went away.
Once again, I'm going to ask you guys to stick with me-I know it's sad, but read on! I'll be updating soon! Reviews always welcome!
