Been forgetting the disclaimer on the last few chapters. If you think I own anything recognizable from SOA… I'm flattered, but unfortunately Kurt Sutter and FX have that honor.

Chapter 9:

"I am amazed

And I'm clutching to each word you say

If only the space

Forgetting every mistake

That I made

I'm beginning to change

Cause I feel all my fears slip away

And each look at you

Is a moment I choose to embrace

And that I wanna be where you are

I feel the same as I did from the start

Whoa, I wanna be where you are

And I'm willing to get there

There won't be any hearts breaking again

This is the part where I stay where I stand

Oh, I wanna be where you are

Tell me you're with me so far"

-Gavin Degraw "Where You Are"

Ava sat between Happy and Gemma in her freshly bought gray tee shirt and flip flops. She held her blood covered shirt in her hands. She would never get rid of it. It would serve as a reminder of how she had almost lost Kozik.

Dr. Hanover walked into the room. His scrubs were stained and the face mask he wore during the surgery was still hanging around his neck. This wasn't the first time he had worked on a son, so he knew to just address the room without question. "We got the bullets out and repaired the damage, but he's not going to be 100% for a while. Is there someone who can care for him for a while after he is released?"

Ava didn't give anyone else a chance to speak. "He'll stay with me. I can take care of him."

Gemma smirked. She saw it a mile away. Ava was a strong bitch. She saw that clearly the first night when she all but told Kozik to go fuck himself. She would make a perfect old lady someday. She couldn't have been more pleased that Ava was stepping up and claiming her man.

"When can we see him?" Ava needed to touch him—to assure herself that he was still breathing. The image of an unmoving Kozik would haunt her until she could lay her eyes on him and watch his chest rise and fall.

"Any time… I would tell you that our policy is two at a time, but I'll make an exception. If you get caught, you're on your own though."

Tara smiled at her former colleague, "Thanks, Dave. We appreciate it."

Ava was the first through the door. She stepped to his bedside and brushed her hand over his arm—he was warm. She was content to just watch him, afraid that if she looked away he might disappear.

Everyone gathered around, content that he would be okay. The guys knew that retaliation was necessary. They would need to play things smart since they would likely be going legit and didn't need any unnecessary attention beforehand. They decided to head back to the clubhouse to dig in and find out who tried to gun down their brother. They would circulate that he had died so no one came looking for him and he would stay safe at Ava's house. Ava agreed and called Aaron so that he could keep Dylan for another week. She didn't want her daughter there during the mess that was to come.

Ava stayed by Kozik's side. She slept in the stiff hospital chair while Happy guarded the door. She had grown comfortable with Hap. She would even consider him a friend. After 2 days, Ava lay sleeping with her head on the bed next to Kozik's leg. Her hand rested on his thigh. She rationalized with herself, but really she just needed to feel him.

Kozik's eyelids felt like lead. He could feel the pain in his torso, but also the soft weight on his leg. He eventually pried his eyes open, squinting at the light above him. Shifting his eyes down, he saw Ava's hand draped on his thigh and her face close to his hand. Even with her swollen eyes, he could see how beautiful she looked. She had obviously been crying over him. The thought settled in his chest. She hadn't been through with him. He could barely recall her speaking to him in an ambulance. "You can't due, Kozik. You're not giving up on me, remember?" He wasn't. He felt a pull to her that he had never experienced before. He couldn't stomach the thought of not being near her ever again.

Kozik winced at the pain that coursed through his body as he lifted his hand and touched her cheek, letting his thumb rub soothing circles across her skin. Ava opened her eyes and smiled when she saw him awake. But as she lifted her head to look at him, the weight of the guilt settled down into her stomach again. For the hundredth time in two days, her eyes again filled with tears. "I'm so sorry," she choked out the words.

He brushed the tears from her face with his thumb. "No reason to be sorry. You saved my life. I'm sorry, Ava. I should have told you everything from the beginning. We really are trying to get out of that shit."

Ava shook her head and kissed his lips softly. "Don't say anything. Just let me be with you." She ran a hand through his hair.

Kozik put a hand at the nape of her neck and pulled her mouth back to his. They kissed deeply until they heard a chorus of cheering and clapping coming from the doorway. Kozik smiled against her lips as they pulled away.

They guys made their way into the room and shut the door securely. Tig swept his sensor around the room looking for any bugs. When nothing was found, Clay started laying the information out.

"Plates were registered to a Leland Stark in Washington DC. He's a fed. Has ties to Stahl. She's baiting us. Trying to get us to retaliate and put the lock down on us. We don't know how to proceed from here yet. We will avenge you, brother," he said as he looked straight at Kozik. "Even with the ladies in here right now, we need to vote on going legit. It could be just the push we need to get started in the right direction."

One-by-one, every man agreed with the idea. They knew they needed the change more than ever. Clay clapped his hands since he had no gavel. "We go legit then. We set the wheels in motion and then go after the bitch for gunning you down. Make it look like an accident. Then we never look back."

Heads nodded around the room. Gemma stepped up next to the bed and kissed Kozik on the forehead. "I swear you men are gonna be the death of me. You're gonna hide out at Ava's house. It's been circulating that you died. We need people to believe it. We paid off a few people to make it look official for Stahl and her handyman. You just worry about getting better."

Jax spoke next, "We need to get you out of here and to her house asap. Tara is gonna be checking on you to make sure you're okay. Dr. Hanover is a friend of Tara's. He's gonna fake your death certificate and let us sneak you out in Ava's car. It's gonna hurt like hell, but you're gonna have to get up and into a wheel chair." He turned to look at Ava, "You drive straight home and park in the garage. Close it before you exit the car. Happy will already be there to make sure it is secure. Only when the garage is securely closed do you two get Kozik out and into the house. Gemma stocked your house with necessities and groceries already. So, no need for you to leave."

Ava nodded. She felt so much more sure than she had ever imagined. She knew that someone was going to die for shooting Kozik. She just didn't care. He was alive and if someone had to die to keep him that way, she could live with that knowledge. Dylan was safe in San Francisco and she truly believed the club would keep Kozik and herself safe.

Ava looked down at her phone, remembering a call she had with Dylan a few days before. "He's supposed to be dead, but can Dylan speak with him. She had a weird feeling that he wasn't alright and has insisted he call her when he got a chance."

Clay nodded, "Pip's missing him, aye? Yeah, who's she gonna tell?" he chuckled.

Ava nodded and dialed Aaron's number. "Hey. Dylan wanted to talk to Koz. … Yeah, he's right here for her. … Thanks, Aaron."

Ava put the phone on speaker for Koz. "Herman?"

Kozik smiled. She was special. He would let her get away with calling him by his first name. "Hey, pip." The nickname had stuck. Tig's one slip calling her pipsqueak had escalated into a full-on club nickname. It took some patched members years to get one. This one little 3 and a half year old girl had taken minutes.

Dylan giggled into the phone. "You okay?" She sounded so concerned.

"I'm alright. You having fun with your dad?"

"Yep. He took me to see a car and motorcycle show. It was so cool. We gotta go to one when I get back. There was a motorcycle like yours and everything." She sounded so excited. The men in the room had goofy grins on their face. Who would have thought a little girl could melt the men so easily. "Hey, Herman?"

"Yeah, Pip?"

"I love you. You better be okay when I get home." She sounded so sure. Ava couldn't even imagine how she had decided that something was wrong with him. To hear her say that she loved him was a huge leap, but Dylan never minced words. When she said something, she meant it.

"Love you too, Pip. We'll have to see about getting that bike when you get here."

"Sure thing, Herman! Daddy's ordering pizza so I gotta go. Bye." And the line went dead.

Tig chuckled, "Pip's got you wrapped around her little finger.

Kozik smiled, "You can't lie; she got to you too."

"Damn straight, she did!" Tig readily agreed.

Clay stepped forward. "Alright, let's get this moving. We got 20 minutes to get you out."