A/n- I do not own Blood+. I had to submit this thing fast before my computer died so sorry for any typos. ^^; At least it proves I'm human after all.
"By the way shawty, lemme get yo cell number for a sec. I gots to put yo number in my contacts so I can hitchu up and we can go clubbin' and shop at the mall. Know what I'm sayin?"
Saya stared over at Julia irritably. She sighed. "Yes, I know what you are saying. My name is Saya and no you are not getting my cell number."
Julia pouted and drove over onto an on ramp headed toward the hospital on the freeway. "Tch, man what's wrong withchu girl? I'm just tryna hook a sista up; you know….do you a favour?" The blonde reached for an orange I-Pod resting in her glove box and plugged it in.
"All I am concerned about right now is my dad. I just want to get to the hospital right now." Saya replied monotonously. She crossed her arms and looked out the window at the passing cars and homes.
"Ey ya'll, Imma be getting me some Mikky D's in a sec, what ya'll want?" Julia pulled over to a McDonald's drive through, which of course upset Saya even more.
"WE DON'T NEED FAST FOOD RIGHT NOW! GO TO THE HOSPITAL!"
Just then, Kai spoke after what seemed like 2 hours of being completely idle. "Hey Julia, get me a Big Mac, with extra cheese, no onions, and pickles on the side, also get me a large cherry Dr. Pepper." The red queen put her fingers on her temples and closed her eyes. "Why didn't I just take a damn taxi?" She mumbled to herself. Hagi had to agree with her.
Julia looked in the backseat and grinned at Kai. "That's what I'm talking bout son!"
Hagi winced. She was already irritating him enough with her flamboyant personality.
After Julia and Kai got their food, Saya eventually got the woman to take the situation seriously and soon after 15 minutes of arguing with her, they finally arrived at the hospital.
"Alright ya'll. Imma be pulling into the parking garage over here. I'll be in the hospital in a sec." As Julia drove away, Saya heard "snap yo fingers" by Lil Jon start blasting in the Range Rover and chuckled while shaking her head gently in slight despair. "She's nuts…"
Kai turned toward Saya, taking a sip from his drink. "Yeah, but you have to agree that she's hot. Plus she knows how to jam and has great tastes in food!" He stood on the curb and walked on it, trying to balance as he walked.
"She's not THAT pretty. I do think she could cover up her breasts a bit more and put a jacket on. That doctor's outfit is way too reveali-"
"Whatchu talkin' bout girl? I got diss poppin' ass uniform so I could seduce David! Don't be jealous shawty…." Julia snapped her fingers at Saya and turned around quickly toward the revolving entrance doors, her hair swaying with every step she took.
As they arrived at the front desk, Julia looked at the secretary and popped her gum. "Hey girl, I need to be seein David. I don't know what his last name is, cuz I forgot but whatever. He's got blonde hair and is fine as hell. So, I know you know who I be talking bout. Mhhhmmm….don't think I ain't see you tryna be all over him the otha day. He's mine just for the record and he ain't wantchu anyways. With yo fake ass eyebrows-"
Saya had to intervene before things got out of hand with Miss Doctor. She pushed Julia aside gently so she could see the secretary. "I am so sorry miss! I don't know what's gotten into her!" The queen glared over at Julia who inspected her nails.
"Ey, it ain't my fault she can't get nobody…"
Kai looked over at Julia. "Hey, that doesn't make sense. Two negatives cancel each other out making you say, 'She can get somebody.' What the freak Julia?"
"Somebody's been in English class too long." Hagi mumbled.
"I need to see George Miyagusuku. Can you tell me where his room is?" Saya asked politely.
The secretary directed them to his room and there he was, lying in a bed, wrapped in gauze. Asleep. Snoring like he was sawing down the Amazon forest.
Julia gazed around. "Screw this, Im outta here. PEACE!" Julia left.
As Kai, Hagi and Saya walked around the hospital while George rested from his attack, the red queen couldn't help but wonder why Hagi was being so silent all the time.
"So Hagi, can I ask a question?"
"Sure."
Saya blinked at his short response. "Why are you so quiet all of a sudden?"
"I don't know. The director said if I talk, then he'd shock me with a shock collar."
"WHAT?"
"Yes Saya. I am not lying."
"I didn't say that…" She mumbled.
"Hey bitches, what's up? Hey Hagi, want a snow-cone? They're only 89 cents. I can't translate that to Yen because I don't know their currency even though we freakin live in Japan and practically have been for like….ever. C'mon, it's blueberry flavour!"
"I do not like flavoured snow." Hagi closed his eyes and turned away from Kai, who had blue syrup all over his face. Saya rolled her eyes at his messiness.
"Please do us a favour Kai and get a napkin or something. And didn't you just eat McDonald's twenty minutes ago?" She asked, raising her eyebrows.
"So what Saya? I have a tapeworm for crying out loud. It eats all my damn food. Freakin stealer…I hate it!"
"Snow isn't food…" Hagi mumbled incoherently. Saya seconded that.
Kai huffed and threw his paper holder in the trash bin, wiping his face free from all the syrup with his left sleeve. "SO WHAT ROMEO? You think the food YOU eat is any better?"
"I don't."
Kai blinked. "Whaddya mean you don't? You don't what?"
"Eat."
"Oh, so THAT'S why you're never around with us for breakfast lunch and dinner. What are you, bulimic or something?"
"No." Hagi stated simply.
"Then why don't you eat?"
"Because I'm never hungry."
Kai stared at the raven haired man for a few minutes. This guy was out of his mind. Kai knew he had to be sneaking food secretly or something, but the real question was, why sneak food? Did Saya disallow him from eating as punishment for something? He wondered.
He pointed a finger directly at Hagi. "IIIIIIII'm waaaaatching yooooouuu…..wait…..what's your last name again?"
"I don't know." Hagi replied quietly. Saya looked up from the floor. "Yeah Hagi, I've always wondered what your last name was and you never told me. What is it?"
"I just said that I don't know. I wasn't given one."
There was a long pause after his response. "Okay, well I'll do the honor of giving you one. Your new last name is Obama now."
Saya glared at Kai. "Hagi Obama? SERIOUSLY? Find a better name. How about Goldschmidt?"
"No. That's already been taken. How about, Otonashi?"
"That's my adopted last name Kai. Plus it rhymes and that will just make it annoying. Hagi Otonashi. See?"
"Hmmm. This is hard." Kai scratched his chin and thought to himself. Hagi just stood there and stared off into space. "EEEEEEEEEEE!"
Kai jumped. The teenager could have sworn he heard a weird shrilly voice a second ago. He gazed over at Saya. "Eh Saya, did you just hear that?"
She stood up from the bench and looked in the direction of the voice. "Yeah, it sounded like Riku."
Just then, Riku came bursting through the doors, running directly towards Kai.
"Whoa whoa whoa. Slow down Brochacho. What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you running so fast?"
"Kai, I heard that Dad got hurt. WHY ELSE WOULD I BE HERE?" The boy screamed. "HEY HEY HEY! Take it easy sonny. How the hell'd you get here anyway?"
"I ran from Kaori's house."
"Why were you at my friend's house?" Saya asked suspiciously. "Because dad said if I don't convince her to stop trying to lose weight she doesn't have, then he would take away my legos for a week."
Kai snorted with laughter. "Lawls." Riku stared at him angrily. "WHAT? Why are you laughing Kai?"
"Hehe….legos. You play with legos? SERIOUSLY? How lame…"
"Oh, right Kai. Like what you play with is any better."
"And what might THAT be?" Kai asked still laughing.
Saya took Hagi's hand and left outside. He wanted to protest but figured it would earn him a punch to the face considering she wasn't in a good mood from her brothers arguing.
"I am sick of hearing bickering! Ugh….it's so annoying."
Hagi continued walking to wherever Saya tended to lead them both. "I agree. Your big brother tends to overstep his boundaries I've noticed. I even recall him insulting me numourous times during the period we spent at your house. He even called me 'old man.' And stole the apple crisp I made you." He replied stoically.
"I know. That's why he stopped playing baseball."
"Why?"
"Well, because he got jumped in an alley after stealing some team member's Bleach dvds from his locker."
"Why would he beat Kai up for that?" Hagi questioned.
"They were blu-ray and the guy had 5 seasons worth in there."
"Oh, never mind then."
Saya lead them to a case of stairs that lead to the beach and sat down with Hagi. "Not to mention he stole his lunch money and Nikes from him."
Hagi raised his eyebrows slightly. "Does he normally thieve anywhere else besides schoolmates?"
"Yeah, he stole some flamin' hot cheetos and an X-Box 360 from Wal-Mart once. Except security tasered his ass three times until he passed out. My dad was pissed."
"That kid's got a lot of nerve to be thieving from places. Did he ever stop?" The chevalier asked.
Saya rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. "Yeah eventually. He's been clean for 3 months."
"Saya, you make it sound like he was a major junkie or something."
"Hahaha…"
"I want to know where ze mice are. Now."
"I can't tell you. I'm not allowed."
A dude with purplish white hair and a French accent sat in a van with some other weird dudes eating butterscotch disks and playing on tons of electric stuff. "Dammit! Where are ze mice?"
"What mice? I thought I caught em' all when I was at your apartment so I threw them in the trash along with the D-Con-"
"YOU IDIOT! NOT REAL MICE. Zose freakin dinosaurs!" He ate some more candy and threw the wrappers out the window.
"Oh, uh, some blonde dude named Solomon told me not to tell you."
"SOLOMON? My boyfriend? I should kick zat bastard's ass for speaking to ano-zer man."
"You're dating him? I thought he was with that one girl?"
"I dunno. He's very frisky when it comes to ze blue queen."
"Oh well. At least we located that one chick's dad so we can like….steal him. Lawls."
"Do not speak to me. I'm consentrating on eating my candies."
"I thought you had diabetes?"
"I don't care anymore. My blood pressure's already high enough from Steak n' Shake earlier ziss morning. Plus Solomon stole my insulin shots and sold zem on Ebay."
"Lol."
"WHAT WHYARE YOU LAUGHIN AT MEE?"
"Because, you got shafted by Solomon. I mean, c'mon…..really? I just don't see that. He's too….goody-goody."
"Well, after I tried to chain him to ze bed once, he got very dominating all of a sudden…"
"You tried to chain him?"
"SO WHAT? At least I can GET somebody. Sheesh you crazy Americans…"
"Listen Van, I'm not American. I'm Italian…"
"Whatever. Same sing."
"No it's not…"
"Well…..okay zen fine. You win. Now pass me ze life savers."
"We don't have anymore. You ate em' all!"
"Okay, zen what about ze blow pops or ze jolly ranchers?"
"Why does it have be hard candy? Why don't you just eat a damn starburst or something god!"
"Because…I like to suck objects."
"WHAT? YOU SICK FREAK!"
"What? You asked. Sheesh, crazy Americans and their inability to not suck things."
"I'm…not…AMERICAN! I'm ITALIAN! And what does that have to do with somebody's ethnicity?"
"I don't know. Now tell me where ze mice are or I'll take all your PSP games."
"Ok fine. Amshel has them."
"Well, duh. I already knew ze answer to zat. Haha. Okay zen, let's go steal this fat guy so we can go to SpaceLand. I'm bored as hell."
"Sounds good to me."
The guys got out of their van as they pulled up to the hospital and went inside. 20 minutes later, they had a hospital bed with a guy on it and threw it in the back of their van and sped off.
"Saya, I have to know something."
"Sure what is it?" She replied as they walked back to the hospital.
"Do you lo-"
"Saya! We need to leave quick! Some French dudes just stole dad! And this blonde guy named David said I can't go with you or he'll kick my ass."
"Where's Riku?" Hagi asked.
"Oh, he went back to Kaori's house. He said he wasn't my friend anymore."
"Mr. David? He's here? Where?" Saya said. A black car drove up beside them and the window rolled down.
"Saya. Hagi. Get in the car. We need to get going fast. Something's happened to your father."
"Mr. David?" Saya said shockingly.
"No shit, I'm Santa Claus. Of course I'm David. Now let's go I don't have all day. Hagi, do something with that cello case. My trunk is stuffed with desert eagles and 50 caliber revolvers so you can't fit it in there. Strap it to my car's top or something."
Saya got in the car and Hagi soon followed after strapping his cello case to the top.
"Can I come?" Kai asked.
"Sorry, but no you cannot. There's not enough room for you mon."
"David, what's with the Jamaican dude?" Kai asked.
"His name is Lewis. He pwns at cooking and won 678 awards at the Iron Chef competition and kicked Bobby Flay's ass. Don't underestimate him. Plus he runs fast like Naruto."
"Cool."
"Let's roll." David said as they drove off, creating a cloud of dirt all over Kai.
"ASSHOLES! You just ruined my Resident Evil t-shirt! I got that at Hot Topic! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT!"
A/n- Please review! I'm excited to know what you all think! Thank you! ^^
