Tobias and Max began showing us different punches, uppercuts, right hooks. They showed us where to punch someone based on their stance and other positions of opportunities. Olivia and I were partners in practicing of course since we were about the same size. We sung at each other and fought everything we did had a playful air to it since we weren't trying to hurt each other yet. At one point during the training Tobias walked over to us two and watched. I swung my left hand to Olivia's stomach, my whole body twisting. Tobias awkwardly grabbed my hip and straightened me out.
"Keep still, you're trying too hard." He let me go and walked away without another word. I stopped what I was doing and watched him help the others. Olivia jabbed me in the gut after a minute to get our fight started up again.
The next day began the actual fighting part of initiation. We all stood around a big mat as Max and my brother talked about rules and how today was going to go. Luckily, if everything went well, we were allowed to have the afternoon to ourselves.
"Lizzie and Jacob are first followed by Olivia and Paul…" Max read off our names. I cursed silently as I took my spot up with Jacob. The creep even had the nerve to wink at me!
"Ready to go St-"I took the opportunity to get the first punch in. He stumbled backwards but his eyes narrowed as he charged at me. As little as I am, I dodged him and went behind him to even kick him in the back so he fell. After that all my surroundings melted away. When Jacob rolled over to look at me, his face was replaced with my father's menacing glare. The same evil look I knew all too well from the nights of abuse. I pounced on him and started punching him over and over. Even when he stopped fighting back I kept going. It wasn't until I felt a stronger force picked me up and held me. It wasn't until that moment when I started to cry and I had realized I was screaming my father's name. I looked up at the owner of the two arms holding me back to see my brother. His eyes held the same amount of pain I had but did not show weakness like I did.
"Lizzie, it's okay. Marcus won't hurt you anymore" Tobias whispered in my ear, "You're done for the day." He said louder to Max. I closed my eyes to calm down as he held me. He let me go and told me to go sit down for a while until my next fight. I wiped my tears away and opened my eyes to the scene where Jacob laid. There was blood on the matt and I believe a tooth was there. Jacob's friends picked him up carefully and headed to the hospital wing. Some of the others stared at me shell shocked, an Abnegation this violent probably makes them question what goes on in the faction or they were shocked to see the shortest initiate almost just killed the tallest one, or they all think I'm crazy. I took my seat on a bench next to the mat as Olivia and another initiate made their way to start their fight.
"Good Job Lizzie. You raised the bar for today." Max's voice said from beside me as he handed me a small cup of water. He smiled at me creepily. There was a thirst and a hunger in his eyes. I took the cup and let the cool water wash down my now parched throat. I prayed Tobias would look over at me and get Max away from me. I would say something but I didn't want to hurt my chances of getting into Dauntless.
"Thank you Max." I said politely and drank my cup of water as I watched Olivia fight. She lost her fight when Paul had her pinned down. "May I go back to the dorm room? I don't feel well.
"Yes. I'll walk you there." He stands up and I shake my head.
"No, it's okay. It's better if I go alone. I need the time to think. Are you both sure I don't have to fight anymore? I'll fight again, like the others." I stand up and looked at him.
"I saw everything I needed to in that fight. Go rest and tomorrow will start on the firearms." Max nodded and smiled at me. I said a quiet thank you and walked out quickly. I made a beeline to the dorm room. As soon as I laid on the bed I broke down into tears. I cried over my past as flashes of Marcus and Tobias went through my head. They were always the same, Marcus hitting Tobias with the belt and then me. I could hear the whipping sounds and the screams from us as Marcus continued to hurt us…
I don't know how long I had been asleep but I was woken when I felt Olivia's cold hand shake my shoulder. "Lizzie, wake up. It's me, Olivia." Her voice brought me back to reality. My eyes flew open as I sat up and looked around the room. I wasn't in my old house with my father like I was in my dream. I was in an empty room with a bunch of beds in Dauntless. I looked over at my best friend and hugged her.
"I'm so sorry Olivia for what you saw in the gym. Please understand that what happened isn't me." I whispered quietly as she just held me.
"It's okay Lizzie. You actually were really good, until you started murdering him, not that I'm complaining. Do you want to talk about it?" she asked me sincerely.
I shrugged and moved away from her. Did I really want to tell her about my dark secret? I liked her enough and she knew about my brother and didn't blab about it.
"There's not much to know Olivia. My father played the loving father and husband out in public which earned him most respectable government worker. He's one of the leaders of abnegation, so he had a reputation to uphold but everything behind closed doors was a different story. He abused us. First it was my mother. My earliest memories were of Marcus hitting my mother, slapping her face for even looking at another man. My mother was good friends with one of Marcus' coworkers, Andrew Prior's wife Natalie. The Prior's have two kids close in age with my brother and I, Beatrice being a year older than me. Marcus always thought my mother was having an affair with Andrew because we were always over their house playing with Beatrice and Caleb. That's how Marcus justified the abuse. My brother started to take a lot of the abuse that was directed at me because I was so young. My mother died when I was six. Then that's when my father started letting me play the 'Daddy's girl' card. I was now the only girl in the family and I was also the baby. My father started to treat me nicely and lovingly. I thought the abuse was behind us until learned he would whip my brother with a belt once I went to sleep. When Tobias left, Marcus started the abuse up again. He hit me with that belt so much that I couldn't lay on my back for a month. I knew that day I was going to follow Tobias footsteps no matter what faction that the test put me in." I finished talking and looked at the floor. My whole life was basically out in the open now. She just hugged me.
"I'm sorry he did that to you. All the stuff Jeanine from Erudite said was true? About the abuse and all." She asked.
"Yeah. For the most part." I nodded slowly and looked at my friend. I noticed her lip was cut. I used this to change the topic, "Your lip…. Are you okay?" I got up from the bed and walked over to the bathroom and grabbed a paper towel.
"I'm fine Lizzie. Its lunch time now. Why don't we go find Connor and go to the shops with him today?" She follows me to the bathroom and takes the towel from me. She wets the end and wipes her cut.
"Uhh yeah… I need to talk to him anyway. About yesterday." I walked towards the door with her, "Let's not talk about my father anymore. Okay?"
"I won't mention it but other people will you know that right? People will talk about the midget who kicked the giant's ass." She smiled at me and took my hand as we walked to the cafeteria. Connor was waiting outside for us. I could see a faint purple ring around his eye knowing a black eye is sure to follow. Marcus gave me one and kept me home from school until it faded. I hated seeing both of my friends hurt while I walked away with a little scratch I received from Jacob.
"Hey girls." Even with his growing black eye he still managed to smile at us like nothing was wrong. He walked over to us both and hugged us. When he let go of me he smiled at me.
"I'll go save us a table. See you guys inside." She smirked at me and walked away leaving me alone with Connor.
"What was that about? Are you okay? Word has gotten around about your fight evaluation." He started asking me questions. I just shook my head and leaned against the wall outside the cafeteria.
"Let's just not talk about it. Can I ask you something? What's been going on with you? All this closeness and the hugging and everything." I asked him bluntly. He looked taken aback at first.
"I forgot Abnegation don't touch each other. Here in dauntless it's how I greet my friends and those I care about. If you don't like it I'll stop." He nods like all this between us was nothing, to me, this was something. Only married couples in Abnegation ever showed any feelings to their significant others except that was only behind closed doors. Although the way I grew up, I don't know a thing about relationships.
"I don't know how relationships work Connor, my mother died when I was six. I don't remember her or anything about Love. My father never remarried. I also don't need to worry about one right now. Getting into dauntless is my main priority at the moment. I'm sorry, I just don't want you to think…." I trailed off, I could tell in his eyes I upset him. "Connor I'm sorry…"
"No, Lizzie..I came on too strong to you. I'm so used to dauntless life and everything being in the open. I like you and I don't want to ruin our friendship. But when you make it into dauntless, you have to go on a date with Me." the corners of his mouth turned into a grin at the last sentence. I could only laugh and shake my head.
"Fine. I'll take you up on that." I laugh. "Let's go eat. I'm starving." I turn into the cafeteria and walked in with him. We made our way over to Olivia. I sat next to her and Connor sat across from us. Olivia did tell Connor the story of my fight and other things. While I hate another hamburger, my lunch and dinner of choice here. They were so good. As I ate I watched Connor. The way his blue eyes sparkled every time he smiled or laughed. The way his hair fell into his face and every time he brushed back out of his face. Little things like that made me realize that I did in fact have a crush on him. This little crush added to my determination to get into dauntless. Everything that was good was here in dauntless. Two days of training down another week and three more to go.
