Vocalising Desires: AMPLIFIED
Author: Got a new LAPTOP! So yeah, thanks to Tempest the 1rst for believing in me.
And to you the reader for making me love writing. Although I'd like more people following and reviewing but thanks anyways!
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DISCLAIMER: DON'T OWN VOCALOID! DON'T OWN LYRICS, THOSE ARE GREEN DAY'S!
WARNING: LANGUAGE!
Chapter 9: Stuck With Me (Part 2: Find Another Pleasure Fucker, Drag Him Down To Hell)
-Len's POV-
I'm not part of your elite
I'm just alright
Class structures waving colours bleeding from my throat
Not subservient to you
I'm just alright
Down classed by the powers that be give me less of hope
Cast out…Buried in a hole
Struck down…Forcing me to fall
Destroyed…giving up the fight
Well, I know I'm not alright
"Len…hey, Lenny…SHOTA!" Rin shouted at me. I ignored her, not interested in going to school or breaking out of my open eyed trance. I was simply not energized enough to move from my bed, to the kitchen then to school. Rin sighed, it was pretty loud.
I'm on a mission
I've got no decision
Like a cripple running the rat race
Wish in one hand, shit in the other
And see which one gets filled first
Rin left the room and I sighed. Geek Stink Breath, the true meaning of self destruction. The song was all about methamphetamine addiction or ice addiction. Could I? No, I was not dragging myself into that deep of a hole. Well, I felt like that. I didn't care anymore, I really don't care anymore. I am through with romance and love.
"How will you stop the pain?" a foreign voice asked. The voice sounded familiar, like from the night a few weeks ago.
"I don't know" I reply thoughtlessly. Not thinking about my response.
"Drugs isn't going to help" the voice said firmly, I can almost see him. A shadow fell on his face hiding his eyes, his mouth was split into a manic grin and I saw rope hanging around his neck.
"Then what?" I ask pleading to the figure.
"You live with it" the figure answered shrugging, his smile was now almost demonic and mysterious markings grew on his face. Maybe I was going crazy.
"What if I can't?" I ask the fearful question finally.
"You will" the figure said and then I hear a loud snapping sound.
I look around and only see Rin opening my door. She looks horrified and I look down.
And there was my tie, nearly straggling me.
-Third Person POV-
Miku was on her bed, sobbing into her pillow. She was extremely embarrassed, angry and hurt. She didn't mean to hurt Len, she was trying to protect him from Akaito and his bastard friends.
"Some…hic…protector…sniffle…I am" Miku sobbed. Her brother came home but didn't even acknowledge her presence. She knew then, she would have no support with this incident. No one would listen to her, not even Ryo who would probably believe her but what could he do? He was in another city or overseas working on his own job and needed to focus on his own passions. It would probably only worsen her situation.
"What are you going to do?" her brain asked her.
"Do what?" Miku sniffed wiping her eyes and sitting up, hugging her pillow. She was possibly going slightly mad in all the shit that had gone down.
"What are you going to do about the one you desire?" her brain repeated adding a little more onto the idea that was building.
"I can't apologise" Miku mumbled looking down.
"You can but it won't be enough"
"I…could…I don't know!" Miku cried out suddenly, sobbing into her hands. She was at a loss. The dream she had for that split second was ruined by her own actions. All because of that fucking Akaito.
"You should protect him" her brain said.
"How?" Miku asked, the tears finally stopped and her eye seriously as she thought about what she could do to help Len, considering that they would never get into any form of relationship in the future.
-Rin's POV-
I was shocked as Len tied his tie and walked out of his room as if nothing happened! But I saw what he was doing. That tie was not being used for its function rather; Len was trying to choke himself. Suicide. Was this situation really that bad? I don't even know the actual story. All I can get from the whole situation was that Len and Miku were enemies and that when we found him, Len was pretty fucked up. By the wounds and the number of bruises, he wasn't attacked by Miku, rather a group of people. I watched in sadly as Len walked out with me, he was limping slightly. His arms were bandaged and had several band-aids patched on him. His right leg was severely bruised which was the reason why he was limping slightly and his left eye was bandaged after it was so swollen up that he couldn't open it at all without screaming in pain.
"So…you'll go out with me?" I heard an annoyingly familiar voice ask nearby and I peek around a corner and nearly gasped in pure shock as the quiet hallway was occupied by that red haired demon and that teal haired traitor. I restrain myself from killing them both with the plastic spoon in my lunchbox.
"…Yeah, if you want" Miku replied with a smile. I almost want to run up and rip that mouth off her lips! She made a promise! SHE MADE A PROMISE! The promise was to help Len recover and she (kind of) vowed to go out with him. Grrrrrrr! That two-faced, leek fucking, backstabbing, shit eating, dirty twat…
(A/N: I'd like to apologise for my readers about Rin's rather…´colourful' language and I can't let you see it all as it is rather graphic and maybe…rude to Miku…)
…dumbass bitch! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Relief.
"So…you want to go to the mall this afternoon?" Akaito asked smiling with that fake, sweet smile of his.
"Sure" Miku said smiling and they walked off hand-in-hand away to class.
I was…appalled. I slump against the wall and I let the tears for my brother, fall…hopefully one day, they will stop.
-Len's POV-
I knew Rin caught me unintentionally killing myself but maybe, I just…unconsciously felt that way. I don't know. This isn't a pretty subject and I have decided to just forget about it and never think about it again and just refocus on my life. That is all I can do right now that is productive and helpful for me. It will distract me and make me feel a hell of a lot better. I sigh.
Lunchtime was usually a time where I would go sit up on the rooftop but today, I think the spot under the sakura tree was good. People were usually inside escaping the heat but for me, I like the sun, it gave me warmth and something to brighten up my mood. Maybe, Miku had changed me but what change has brought me closer to her?
Nothing.
Wait, what? Am I…yeah…I was in love with her. Now I feel my heart beating slightly faster, in anticipation? Love? Worry? Geez. I remember when dealing with my emotions met staying up most of the night, as an insomniac wondering about my lifestyle choices. Now, it is the same, only I am fully awake and I am not an insomniac anymore. I am just…alright.
"Are you making the right decisions?" the figure standing in front of me asked. The breeze blowing back his cape like a flickering shadow.
"You're not real" I said to the figure as I walked past him. Then I heard the laugh, the laughter of the mad, the laughter of the insane, the laughter of someone who is genuine amused.
"Not real? Man, I am as real as you think I am! I have been watching you since childbirth!" the figure said, I still couldn't make out his face, the ever present shadow hid his eyes.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, Kagamine Len, 16. Parents were CEO's, lonely most of his life. Singer extravaganza, previously a martial artist, athletic but now a studious worm. Wants to be someone to protect the ones he loves and wants to be…in love with her" the figure said placing a hand on my shoulder, it wasn't a bone crushing one but a soft, gentle touch that radiated warm and understanding.
Man, this guy has some weird moods.
"Okay, but why are you appearing in my head?" I ask tapping my head.
"You ask me, I am just a memory of a wonderful event…or am I just another mind contacting you?" the figure asked smiling mischievously. I scowl at the man's secret message.
"Hey Len!" I hear a sneering voice shout over to me, I sigh and see the figure gone. Strange, but anyways I turn and almost vomit. WTF?!
Akaito with Miku…hand-in-hand. WTF?!
"Hey Len-san" Miku said flatly, no emotion just blank eyes with a blank expression.
"Hi?" I reply questioning this occurance.
"Guess who just got himself a girlfriend?" Akaito asked with a nasty sneer.
"Yeah, whatever, congrats. What else you got? Some actual balls?" I ask sarcastically I see his face go as red as his hair as he swung a fist at me.
I don't know why but, something I learnt years ago snaps into my head and I block his fist with my open palm, the resounding smack of flesh hitting flesh was heard and I feel a sense of satsification as that sound was made. It felt…good. It was even better when Akaito's eyes widened with surprise as I blocked his fist with minimal effort.
"Fuck…off" I say slowly, I don't know what snapped maybe…that talk with that figure helped.
"Good job, see you do have some strength left in you…never doubt yourself…Kagamine Len"
-Mikuo's POV-
I watched about to jump in as Akaito swung his fist but it seems like Len has it under control. It was a good block. So fast that even my eyes couldn't follow, faster than light I guess. It was amazing, his reaction time was spot on. I sense a change within Len, something more…confident?
"Spying on your students Mikuo-kun?" a familiar voice asked and I jolt around to see Kamui Gakuko. The maths and English specialist teacher. She had purple hair and eyes and wore a white kimono. Like her cousin in the second year, Kamui Gakupo. Before I had a chance to explain…
"You pedophile!" Gakuko shouted kicking me down.
"ARGH!"
"Why are you spying on the students in the shadows?!" Gakuko shouted angrily.
"Hey! I am not, you won't understand!" I scream back in pain as Gakuko continued to the attempt to snap my arm in half but she left me go and I wince as my arm regained some flow of energy into the nearly snapped bones and ligaments.
"Explain" Gakuko said, arms crossed in front of her. I sigh and start to explain the situation I found myself in. I see the change of heart as she nodded and muttered some things that were inaudible for me to understand but I continued. I finished and Gakuko just slapped me on the back and walked off.
I sigh as I think about the situation.
So that bastard Akaito was with Miku. I don't approve.
Len is changing or has changed.
Rin was crying when I found her and now she is at home worrying frantically about the future and her brother. I check my timetable. Nothing this afternoon, might as well go home.
-Rin's POV-
Oranges…don't work to help cheer me up. I want Len to feel better, I want him to be in love. I want him to be…my brother.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
"Yo! Rin you in there?" Mikuo-sensei asked, he was probably knocking on the door. I feel no energy as I unlock that door and I see him as I open the door and feel him embrace me, tightly.
"M-Mikuo?"
"Don't worry…Len will be okay" Mikuo assured gripping me tighter.
"Ack! M-ik-uo! Ch..king!" I gasp before he lets me go and I offer him to come into the kitchen. He accepts with a smile.
"Tea or coffee?" I ask, my energy returns with something to do.
"You have any alcohol?" Mikuo asked curiously.
"Errr, yeah, just over there" I answer pointing to a wooden cabinet with glass panes that revealed the contents of bottles with amber coloured fluids. Mikuo studies them before picking one out, it was clear and looked like water.
"Got any soda or ginger ale or lemon, lime and bitters?" Mikuo asked as he returned with a glass and the bottle which read. 'True Russian Vodka: In Soviet Russia vodka is water!'
"Yeah, we have ginger beer" I said passing him the brown glass bottle. Mikuo nodded his thanks and poured a large quantity of vodka into the glass then a dribble of ginger beer. I watch in interest as he smiles at me and throws back his head and swallows the entire amount of drink down in one gulp!
"W-what?!" I exclaim in pure shock. Mikuo smiles and winks. There is no trace of the drink on his face or shirt, he just…shot a large glass of drink!
"Heh, good party trick that one. But anyways, I want to help Len and you do too" Mikuo said and I sat down and nodded.
"Yeah, I am his sister" I said rolling my eyes. My emotions were now set straight thanks to Mikuo.
"I don't know why Miku would break her promise to help Len unless her decisions lead to her protecting him" Miku continued and suddenly everything seemed to fall in place. Mikuo was no idiot and now I can understand the observation he made that night. Miku ran away crying. Len was beaten up by more than one person. Miku going out with Akaito…AH HA! Got you!
"Miku is protecting Len by going out with Akaito to try and keep the peace!" I exclaim and Mikuo smiled and nodded.
"Bulls eye. That's what I also had theorized. But I don't think she understands the psychological pain that Len is going through" Mikuo said thoughtfully.
"Huh?"
"You know what I mean. Len is hallucinating, I saw him talking to thin air at lunch. He is going through a major emotional battle where he struggles to recognise his own desires and emotions" Mikuo explained and I nod. He did try and kill himself but he never did that before, even when his parents died, he never did that…maybe Len is undergoing an emotional struggle.
"What do we do?" I ask.
"Help him" Mikuo answered but I feel tears welling up in my eyes as the second option appeared in my head.
"What if we can't?" I ask I feel my mental barriers breaking down. I see Mikuo wince, and now the tears start flowing. I see…nothing, the fading edges of m vision. It was sudden but I still feel my body being racked by sobs and someone yelling my name. Why am I fading now and so suddenly?
Why is this darkness…so warm?
Author: There you go, Chapter 9 done! A little...confusing but things will be clearer later on.
Points on whoever you think the mysterious stranger that haunts Len is...(probably already know)
Falling Ash, Rising Heat is undergoing a revival from a hiatus.
Odds & Ends is still being worked on.
Singing Swords (Main Path) is still undergoing cleanup and edit.
Serenade Blades will come out after Arc Three of Singing Swords is complete!
Sun & Moon a new Pokémon story and the finalized Tsuki and Ash story is coming out soon. So check out Falling Ash, Rising Heat to get you say in pairings before the release.
Healing Hearts, Aching Love is currently on a DISCONTINUED status until further notice as well as Rolling Shadows, Roaring Light.
The Singers & The Samurai is still going but chapters are being made very slowly.
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