XP: Wootz. Chapter up. I'm doped up on painkillers… WHY NOT AS MUCH PEOPLE READ MY OTHER FIC, "Russia's never boring!" T-T *cries* …Oh well. Read on~


Thanks for the reviews…

Blackwolborg96: WOOTZ SAME AGE!!! *high fives* yup ,yup, randomness rocks!

Miyako: Consider it done. See down there? It's done. I adore cats too (: All that adorable fluffy cuteness…

Mika: WOO! Such a long review again~~~ *jumps for joy* LOL. *Drumrolls* The family is here!!!!

Sonu: I sense some competitiveness~ XD The insults are just… taken from the air. Yeah, I'm in contact with them often. Not gonna kill you, man. SCHOOL SUCKS! AGREED! …Fck's the best word eva.

where's ImmortalKiki… ):



Cat—Miyako

Puppy—Mika

Rabbit—Sonu

Parrot – Sani(ty) (lol sanity)

Snake-- still unnamed ):

Rat-- Pikachii

XP: See? The names of the cat and dog matches. So I made the rabbit and parrot match too.


"But I don't wanna go to school if Tala's not there!!" Kai whined. He looked like he was going to cry from frustration. His hair was all messy because of the parrot on his head. He was seating on the edge of the sofa, waving his hands about madly while Tala was curled around him, eyes half-lidded. He seemed very bored and tired.

They had been discussing the topic of school, and decided that Kai will go to school while Tala be taught by Hiro(, as Tala calls him) at home first to catch up. No matter how much Kai refused, he couldn't win. Tala just had his first lesson on the history of japan… "I wanna be with Kaaaaii," Tala yawned, before smiling sleepily, "I'll miss his cute ass if he goes~ Sides' how hard can school be if Tyson's there??"

"Stop insulting me!!" Tyson growled. "And no, don't bring up that I eat small animals or whatever!"

"But you do," Kai deadpanned simply, not in the mood. "I WANT TALA!!!" The cat, Miyako, jumped out from Kai's arms in alarm at the sudden raise of tone. The puppy, Mika, that was resting at Tala's feet saw this and went to chase after Miyako, causing chaos. Sonu twitched its nose and ears at the noises, and Sani began tugging at Kai's hair gently.

The snake curled around Tala's body, going in rounds. "…The Blitzkrieg boys also haven't received education, right? …If you go to the school like a good boy, Kai, I'll get them to come over and study with you guys." Ray said. …He immediately regretted it.

"Honto ni?! Ii no ka?" Kai asked, eyes shining brightly. (Really? Is it okay? XP: At least that's what I think it means :p)

"I'll call!!!" Tala took out his phone, suddenly very energetic. Everyone sweatdropped at them. He dialed the number he memorized by heart, and gave it to Kai.

"Dada?" Kai called sweetly.

"Wrong number,"Bryan replied quickly.

"Not so fast, Kuznetsov!" Tala growled, taking back the phone. "I know you got caller ID. And how could you not recognize the voice of your baby boy?"

"…Why else do you think I said wrong number?" Bryan growled. "Why can't you guys just leave me alone?! Do you get some kind of twisted amusement by watching me suffer?"

"I thought you said you missed me and wanted to make babies with me, honey," Tala sounded sad. "Remember? Is it because I've not returned home for so long? Is it because of the affairs I have? Is it because I have a relationship with my own son, Kai? Is it because I have, with Hiro, a threeso-" Kai covered, Tala's mouth under the glare of Hiro.

"Wat'cha looking at, fucker?" Tala said casually to Hiro.

"YOU."

"I know I'm hot and all, but-" Tala got cut off by Bryan.

"You are one twisted freak, Ivanov. See? You have done so many wrong things. Who would marry you?" Bryan sighed.

"Are you worried?" Tala purred into the phone. "Aww, you're so sweet, darling, you know I love you too! I know your harsh façade is a lie, you are so sweet to me when we make love…" Kai burst out laughing at that.

"This," Kai began, "is unexpected, but Tala is a virgin." Collective gasps were heard throughout the room.

"Shush, Kai, or I'll rape your ass till you can't scream. Let's see if you'll call me a virgin then…" Tala said innocently. Kai simply pouted.

"Shut the fuck up, Ivanov."

"Oh, and thank you for your 'fucks' the other day, Bryan," Tala grinned at Kai. The double meaning there…

"What??" Bryan sounded incredulous.

"Hi mommy!" Ian screamed, and sounds of snatching the phone was heard. "So, why you calling, Ma? Everytime you call Bryan goes red in the face. Though I'm not sure from embarrassment or anger…"

"From pleasure and embarrassment, my dear little boy," Tala purred. "Anyway, You guys are invited to come to japan and receive an education… You MUST come, Ian. And blackmail Bryan to make him come. I'm sure you know he wouldn't want to come…"

"STOP. SAYING. 'COME'," Kai growled.

"Come on, Kai. They're coming…" Tala grinned. Kai hit Tala's head gently.

'Sureee! I have a couple of ideas already!! …And Tala, you might want to see a psychiatrist for your mental problems. Byee!" Ian hung up.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Tala glared at the phone. Kai smirked, "That means you're not right in the head, and you need to get yourself fixed." Tala directed his glare to Kai, who started whistling. Then, they both burst out laughing for no apparent reason. Just like that, they became friendly again.

"Let's have a song for the Blitzkrieg boys!!!" Tala grinned.

The Blitzkrieg Boys are coming to town,

With Ian and his nose looking like a clown…

Bryan with machine guns in hand,

I think we should be starting a band.

Spencer with a sewing kit in bag

He is really a very good nag.

Then Tala will annoy his husband

Forgetting Bryan has a gun in hand.

Kai will sit around doing nothing,

To no end, just singing and singing.

And chaos will erupt in the house.

Higher, and higher, goes Hiro's pulse.

The pets will go crazy,

While Tyson is lazy.

Precious vases will shatter and break.

Vulgarities coming from Sani's beak.

It will be so much fun,

Before Hiro kills us, let's run.

Tala and Kai cheered. (Rhyming is so hard ): Did my best) Everyone sweatdropped at them. "THE BLITZKRIEG BOYS ARE COMING!!!!!! WHOOOOO!!!" Tala grinned.

"…Thanks to you, Tala, and your pervertedness, the word 'coming' is now SO wrong to me," Kai shook his head sadly. "I can never look at the world in the same way!" Kai added dramatically. "Oh, woe is me!!! Woe is me!!!"

"Go drama club," Max said with an edge in his tone. "You guys are good at acting."

"What's that I hear in your tone, Blondie?" Tala growled. "Don't like us, is that it?"

"No one really likes us, Tala," Kai said softly.

"Who cares?" Tala said indignantly. "I like you. I LOVE you. My love can rival a million people's love. And that is enough, isn't it? That has always been enough for us, hasn't it? Who cares if they don't like us? I hate them more than they hate me."

"I know, Tala, but…" Kai sighed, eyes downcast. "We're really like outcasts of the society. No one accepts us. We don't blend in…"

Tala hugged Kai tightly. "Sometimes, Kai, people can't accept others that are different from them. They feel threatened. Because of that, they try to oppress us. And will we let that happen? No. We are special, Kai. You are special. Everyone should be a little different, so that things are more interesting… We wouldn't want a billion Tysons around. "

"So deep, Tala," Kai laughs.

"Remember this, Kai, You mean the world to me… nothing can ever change that. So, believe in yourself, believe in me, and everything will be fine. Okay?" Tala asked.

"Kay," Kai smiles sweetly at Tala, trusting him with everything he had. Everything he had in that little tormented soul of his.

Trusting Tala to make it all better, because Tala always did.

"You are so fucking cuuuute," Tala coos, snuggling with Kai. Kai smiled contentedly, feeling the warmth of his favorite person in the world. Everyone looked on, astounded. These were the personalities the two had hidden behind cold masks months ago.

…SMASH! The shattering sounds of ceramic and glass was heard. Oh, right, Miyako and Mika were still running about the house, knocking things down… "Make them stop!!!" Ray shrieked, covering his delicate ears.

"Ahh, the sweet sound of destruction," Tala sighed. "How I love that sound… Bry loves it too, you know." Kai ignored the sounds and the shrieks, cuddling with Tala. The savage rabbit, Sonu, began jumping about and knocking into things, trying to get to Sani, the parrot.

Poor Sonu even crashed into the window, with Sani squawking, "Haha! Idiot! Idiot! Haha!" While all of this happened, Kai was at peace. Tala began to sing…

Sweet sounds of destruction,

Ringing in my ears,

Violent sounds of aggressiveness,

Making me excited.

The mayhem that unfolds,

Is so entertaining,

The chaos that ensued,

I wish it'll last forever.

Glass shattering into smithereens,

Such a beautiful melody.

Your shrieks and screams,

Adding to the background.

I take pleasure in your pain,

I find amusement in your worries,

I take pride in your fear.

It is because…

I AM TALA!!!

THE HOT ONE!!

"…Last few sentences just killed the mood of the song," Kai chuckled. Tala pouted. (guess how long that song took? Under three freaking minutes. I do have some sort of weird disorder, probably.)

Nothing ever matters anymore,

Not even if the sky fell down.

As long as Tala is with me,

All will be fine.

I will never be lonely,

I will never walk alone,

I will always have someone to talk to,

Someone to believe in and trust.

We have some sort of weird telepathy,

He knows if I'm hurt, I know if he's sad,

He cares for me so much, desire to protect me so strong,

I love him so goddamn much, I trust him with the world.

We can overcome anything,

As long as we have each other,

We can do it together,

No matter what comes our way.

Tala is my best friend,

The one that understands me the most,

The one that cares for me the most,

The one that loves me the most.

…I sing this song…

BECAUSE I'M KAI HIWATARI

AND I'M SO DAMN CUTE!!!

Tala laughed, "What's that about? You ended the song in my style!" Kai smiled at Tala in reply. The doorbell rang followed by impatient banging on the door.

No way…could it be…so quick?

Tala dashed/skidded over, opening the door. "HONEY!!!" Tala tackled Bryan to the ground. "I missed you so damn much! Are we gonna make babies now? Huh? Are we?" Ian snickered, and Spencer couldn't stifle a chuckle.

Bryan groaned. "I already regret coming here…get off me, Ivanov, I'm still jetlagged from the trip…" Bryan looked rather green… then he pushed Tala off and bolted for the toilet. Puking sounds were now heard. Kai winced.

"Father threatened the people to get a private jet, because he refused to seat with the commoners. Then, he asked for it to be faster, because he was bored. The captain was so angry he deliberately drove super fast, before Bryan could get to his seat, so he was thrown around like a rag doll!" Ian explained, giggling.

"What about my children?" Tala asked, cupping Ian's face. "Do you feel sick? Do you need to lie down? Spencer, did you take good care of your little brother?" His face showed genuine concern.

"Mummy, I am fine! I love the feeling of being tall in the sky!" Ian grinned. The poor guy was always short so the feeling of being in air thrilled him to no ends.

"I took good care of him. He's in one piece, as you can see. I saved him from the wrath of Bryan," Spencer reported.

"We should have a family reunion! I'll call Brooklyn, and call Mr. Dickenson to get Daichi!" Tala shouted ecstatically. Ian and Kai nodded their heads quickly in agreement.

"Won't that be fun, going to school together?" Max said sarcastically.

"Man, I don't want to see what kind of havoc they'll wreck at school," Tyson groaned.

Bryan came back. "What did you say about my family, Kinomiya?" He growled menacingly. Wait a minute… did he say…family? Tala jumped him again. "Daaarling! You finally acknowledge us! I am so happy!" Tala cheered. "I'll be faithful to you from now on!"

"WTF!!! GET OFF ME!!!" Bryan screamed. "I… urgh… I feel sick…" Covering his mouth with one hand, Bryan ran for the toilet! …He didn't make it in time, and he puked all over Tyson. The stench was revolting.

"Eww! Sick!" Ray cried. Tyson had a thoughtful look on his face. "Hey, this tastes pretty good."

"…Tyson eats everything," Kai deadpanned, while others made a disgusted face. "I'm not proud to call him my half-father."

"So, what's school?" Ian piped up.

Ray facepalmed. "Let's all teach you guys the basics… do you know ABC?"

"ABC…is ABC, duh," Bryan rolled his eyes, wiping his mouth. Hiro sweatdropped.

"Me and Ray will be in charge of teaching you four, Tala, Ian, Bryan and Spencer," Hiro sighed. "Kai, go to school without them first."

"…Why didn't you say Bryan's name beside mine~" Tala whined.

"What difference does it make?" Kai frowned. "…Tala, you better learn fast and join me or I'll go through 'Tala withdrawal'… "

"Don't worry, son, your momma will do you proud," Tala patted Kai's back. "So… what's this… ABD thing again? Or was it ABE? ABG? ABC?"

Ray sighed, sensing a long day ahead… teaching these four Russians will be no easy task… "Why did god do this to me?!?!?!" Ray screamed up at the ceiling. Everyone gave him an odd look.

They don't even know ABC?! How the heck is that possible!?!?!??!Ray mentally thought. Okay… be calm, Ray Kon… Relax… Deep breaths… … …

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!



XP: REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIVE ME! ..some words get cut off sometimes. Irritating. ): If you notice mistakes, tell me?