Major warning! This chapter contains explicit language, violence and sexual abuse. If you are to be triggered please do not proceed.

As I always I own nothing but the plot of this story.

Shadows

Amenadiel was sitting on a leather couch positioned towards the balcony. Somewhere in the back he could hear Jophiel, no Iris, playing the piano. She had been playing for three days nonstop. Her fingers had been burned and were beginning to bleed but no one could stop her. He had tried to talk to her but to no avail. She did not respond to anyone. The only time she seemed to be having contact with them was when he had called her Jophiel. She had given him a look, taken right out of Lucifer's look, a look of betrayal, and she had let an ear-piercing scream. Lucifer had kicked them out at that moment. They had been occupying the loft just above Lux, where Luci kept his reserve piano and a few old furniture. He had been sleeping on the couch and, well, Iris had not left the blasted thing. He had tried to contact Gabriel again and even Raphael but they did not respond. He knew he was not responsible for whatever had happened to their little sister. He did feel guilty for the way everybody had been treating her in the Silver City.

Jophiel had been so full of energy just like Luci had been, but where his brother had been rebellious and hungry for independence, Jo, had been calm and happy to help. She had a beautiful voice and she liked to sing, that was why she must had been joining the human churches. Father would take her for walks and talk to her about humans and angels and off course, Hell. There had been no doubt that God had a preference to his littlest girl.

A favorite daughter

Luci would laugh his ass off

Gods favorite children, see where that got us, brother!

Even though he was worried about his sister, Amenadiel could not shake the feeling that Lucifer was torturing himself.

He had not meant to over hear but they had been screaming from a point on. Iris had gotten upset and ran off to the living room. He had tried to catch her and he saw them screaming at each other. They both had that look on their face. They looked hurt and betrayed and so much… in love. Amenadiel had seen billions of couples fighting, getting married, having a family. He may not have felt that emotion, but he had seen enough to know. Those two could not be separated. He wished his Father knew what he was doing because Lucifer was so unstable without Chloe that one misstep and they could be having the Apocalypse next morning.

"Can you bloody stop? It's been three days!" Lucifer's voice echoed in the empty loft suddenly. Amenadiel jumped off his seat surprised. He had not been expecting his brother. The last time he had seen him he had been taking his home apart.

"Luci!" He yelled but the devil walked towards the instrument and closed the lid violently. Iris jumped off the stool, kicking it down with the back of her knees . They stayed like that shooting daggers at each other for a few seconds. They were really, very much alike. More so than Lucifer had been with his twin. They were both a mess, Iris with a dirty, burnt shirt, cut open for what had remained of her wings and Lucifer…

Well, he looked like Hell itself. He had not shaved in three days, his eyes were bloodshot, hair everywhere, shirt burned at the edges and he had various cuts on his forearm. They looked like he had been testing something.

"Lucifer, what happened to your arms?" Amenadiel asked him. Lucifer turned around to look at him and felt a pain low at his sheen. Iris kicked him hard and then punched him right in the chest before vanishing into the back, rapping one thing or another.

"A feisty one, isn't she? For someone who is supposed to be catatonic!" Lucifer said as he got up and walked to the mini fridge where he kept a few bottles.

"Will you answer me? What happened to your arms? What has happened to you?" Amenadiel asked him.

"Well, big brother, I had been counting occasions." He said with a creepy smile.

"Counting? Wait, did Chloe come back?" Amenadiel asked him. There was a glimpse of hope in his eyes.

"She did, yeah, one, two, three… ten times." Lucifer said counting his cuts. "Ten times the detective reached my door and one time she… almost reached it." He said emptying the bottle. He threw it somewhere in the apartment and went for another one.

"What does that mean? Lucifer, you look a mess. You need to get yourself together brother and go find her. If she did come here…"

His laughter came straight up from hell. It was raw and cold, and it gave him the creeps.

"Oh, she did come, brother, and I showed her exactly who I am. It was about time she accepted the truth." Lucifer said as he walked towards the balcony. The rapping of the old wardrobe was starting to get to his nerves, but it was a good variation from the piano all those days.

"What did you do Luci?"

"What did you do, Luci? Bad Luci! Bad Devil!" he made fun of him in a hysterical voice. He was high. So that means he either sniffed every drug on earth or he had been taking drugs in front of Chloe.

"Lucifer?"

"You know, I never understood why men whined about women. They are truly magnificent, but the douches are true to one thing. The bloody bitches don't care about who you truly are just for the one they want you to be." He said. He was crying again but he had become very good at hiding it. He had not slept at all in the three days that had passed. He had broken every piece of furniture in his loft, he had been sitting on the floor, and he had been partying at Lux EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

That was exactly who he was. He liked to drink, to party, to do drugs and fuck… hard. If she did not want to accept it that would be her fucking problem. And his Dad's. FUCK THEM BOTH JUDGEMENTAL BASTARDS!

"Chloe came here to talk to you and you were choking your pain in alcohol and drugs?"

"CHLOE came here to make me apologize for something I righteously did, and she saw me having fun with booze, drugs and Mary Sue's ass."

Amenadiel hand slapped himself.

"Oh, Luci"

"She left a minute or two ago. It's done now, we are over with Dad's miracle baby." He said emptying the second bottle like water. After letting it fall from the balcony he came back with a feral smile. "Let's deal with his other baby, now shall we?" He said and took a few steps before Amenadiel stopped him.

"That would not be a good idea. I don't think you are going to force anything out of her and in your condition… sorry, Luci but you will only get things worse." Amenadiel said.

"Well, did any of our pompous siblings got their asses down here to help?" Lucifer said and Amenadiel shook his head.

"Then I am going to relieve the girl from at least one of her problems." He said and got a hell knife out of his pocket. Amenadiel's eyes show heaven.

"What do you think you are doing, brother?" Amenadiel asked him, positioning himself in front of him.

"Why brother, I am cutting them off, what remained of her wings. Can't you see those things are hurting her? I have been a drunk mess but you certainly are the blind one." Lucifer said and tried to pass by him.

"No, I won't let you, we don't know exactly what has happened." Amenadiel tried to reason with him.

"No one knows what happened but Iris and Dad and since the fucking bastard won't tell us the least we can do is help the poor lass." He replied but there was not warmth in his voice. Amenadiel repositioned himself in front of him. Lucifer took a deep breath and looked at him. He was starting to feel wared off, the drugs waring off his system as Chloe went further away from him. He wanted to sleep and never wake up.

What do you desire?

Silence

"She is a mortal brother, those things are nothing but a burden to her. She hurts, haven't you noticed? They drive her crazy." Lucifer tried to explain what had been plain as day to him. The fact that would spite Dad was just a bonus. Besides the girl had done what he never could. Somehow she had thrown all that greatness of God's servant to His face and on her own FREE WILL, which he still could not understand, she had fallen.

"Fall and you shall rise again, higher and higher." Her voice filled the dead area as she rounded the room rapping rhythmically on the walls.

"I understand, Luci, but I won't let you do it when you are like that. You are hurting and you just want to do something you think will make you feel better. No, I will let you do it only when you are both sane." Amenadiel said. Lucifer looked at the girl as she repeated her mantra. He remembered that night at…

No, that woman was out of his life. He would hurt no more. He looked his brother in the eye and lifted the dagger.

"Luci, no!"


Chloe had no idea how she got home after what she had seen. She had tried to take a few days off but with a case open it would be impossible. She had to go everyday at the precinct, look at the files, think about Lucifer and his family and all the things they had said to each other. Things that were meant to hurt.

Because both were hurting inside.

Lucifer may have been with the whole of L.A but he was definitely a first at… whatever their situation had been. It was still difficult for her to realize what him being the actual devil meant. That morning, after going back home, she had freaked out seeing Maze. To Mazikeen's defense, she had been really patient, which had been a first, but it was a lot easier to accept her demonic nature.

What changed, really?

She already knew she was a torturer and a killer and they were getting along just fine. Ok that was weird. The thing was that she had time to think what was different in Lucifer's and Maze's situations.

Lucifer had hurt her and he hadn't even realized it. What was really killing her was that he actually had good intentions, but her pain was so big that she had gone out of patience for him. Maybe she needed to visit Linda. Maybe she should have visited Linda before going to Lux.

She had had a hunch that he would be like Hell, as he was every time things went south. She had tried to visit the past three days but she would only made it to Lux's door and then she would fled. She knew she was the mature one, she had been there before, relatively speaking, she had to try to understand. Tonight she had gathered the courage to get inside. They had no progress with the case but they still had one and she needed to see him so damn, much. So she pushed her ego back, dressed up and went to Lux to find him.

He had been sitting in front of the piano, a numerous shots in front of him, hair dishelved, beard evident, shirt burnt. There were cuts on his arms and of what she saw he held a small knife on his hand cutting through his arm. Her first reaction was to run to him and stop him but when she lost him in the crowd she realized he knew she was there.

She cut through the crowd asking where Lucifer Morningstar was. She caught a glimpse of him sniffing coke from a silver dish. She lost him again. A moment later he would make out with both a man and a woman who emptied a back of K-pops down his throat. He grabbed a bottle and disappeared. She was about to lose her guts when the waiter came by bringing her a drink. He obviously had not been informed about their quarrel. She downed a shot and saw him cutting himself again before disappearing in the back. He would not avoid her for ever. She gathered her courage and went on. She would tell him that she was willing to listen. That they had to get to the bottom of what was happening with his sister. She would tell him that, that…

Then she saw him, half hidden in the service hall. He was holding a blond bimbo from her hair burying his teeth at her boobs. He tore at her attire and pushed her violently against the wall opening his zipper. She had to go, she had to, but she stayed. She saw him fucking her against the wall. She saw her crying out and also begging for more. There was malice in his eyes as he pumped into her, slapping her, pulling her hair. He had left her as abruptly as he had entered her. She fell down on shaking feet and Lucifer grabbed her head shoving his huge cock into her mouth violently.

Chloe's cheeks flushed at the memory. She should have been repelled, and she was but there was a part of her that knew that was Lucifer too. There was a part that fantasized about being the blond bimbo. She walked to the cabinet seeing Lucifer's expensive wine. She took it and decided that tonight she would empty it.

Tonight she was officially heart broken.