DISCLAIMER: really. i dont own it. stop asking me.
'Mmph…is there school today…again?' a muffled voice from under a sleeping bag made connection with the world. Renji obviously never wanted to emerge from his tattered cloth cocoon.
'Yes…' Ichigo, rather grumpy at having to answer the same question, refused to get out. 'You guys know how to get there, right? Good. Get to school yourself, I don't want to argue another five million times with you retards again.'
Ikkaku immediately shot out of his sleeping bag. 'I AM NOT A RETARD!!'
The other jyuuichi-bantai member wormed out of his sleeping bag and commented, 'it doesn't sound pretty.'
Mastumoto pulled her sleeping bag off herself and lay on it. 'How many days do we have to go to school for?'
Rukia, however, seemed to be the only person enthusiastic about the upcoming events of going to school. Having dressed in her uniform, she bounced out of the cupboard, causing a few people to spontaneously get a heart attack on the spot.
A phone beeped.
A sleeping bag unzipped and Hitssugaya came out of it.
'Guess what.'
'WHAT??' rather excited, I think we've deduced for ourselves that these people are very wide awake in the mornings. The Morning People.
'We don't have to go to school. Kurotsuchi-taichou sent a message saying something along the lines of based on the spirit particle reaction who-knows-what thingie blablabla and the fluctuating reiatsu etcetera blablaBLA Aizen is going to come sometime really soon so in short, we don't need to go to school and your classmates will be getting the normal teachers back again.'
On the way to the park, where it was agreed for all the shinigami to meet, our protagonists had another argument. Mornings are wonderful times for arguments and they apparently just can't stand the temptation.
'Are you SURE we get to skip school?''
'Of course. They're ORDERS, in case you never realised. Stupid Ichigo.'
'DON'T CALL ME STUPID, STUPID IKKAKU!'
'Don't argue. It's unsightly.'
'Why don't you just join in the fun, Yumi?'
'STUpid! STUpid! I think you're all idiots.'
'Shaddup, Renji.'
'Are YOU saying that I'M stupid?'
'YES, I AM, in case the message didn't penetrate your oh-so-thick skull!'
'OH YEAH? Want me to smash your skull open to see how thick it is? I bet I can't even get it open; it's probably 20 centimetres thick each side!'
'LIKE REAL, would you like ME to split YOUR skull open? I bet when it opens up there won't be any brain in it.'
'HADOU NO YON! BYAKURAI!' (A/N: way of destruction 4, white lightning)
'AACK! RUKIA! NO! Don't hit us! NOOOOOO!!'
BZAAATT.
Four singed bodies lay limply on the ground as Matsumoto and Rukia inspected them, poking them and checking for essential life signs such as moaning and cursing. It seemed they all survived the kidou attack.
Hitsugaya walked ahead, telling the six behind him to stand up and start walking before he turned them into nice little ice cubes.
They got up and ran after him.
oOo
'TSURURIN!!'
A pink bomb exploded in Ikkaku's face.
'AND YUMMY-YUMMY!!'
'WHAT did she call you?'
'I don't know. Kusajishi-fukutaichou, please don't call me that. You make it sound like I'm some sort of delicacy or something.'
'Hurry up and MOVE, jyuuichi-bantai!'
They ran, Ikkaku with a little pink explosive latched onto his cranium by the fangs.
An ominous shadow loomed over the trio from jyuuichi-bantai.
'Yo. You guys know where the park is?'
The eye patched taichou looked down with an expectant look at his subordinates. Yachiru, still hanging on to Ikkaku, pointed upwards and shouted, 'THA' WAY!!'
'Right, like I'm going to trust ya.'
'OI, ICHIGO, ya know where the park is?'
'KEN-CHAN!! Do ya, icchy?'
'DUH I KNOW WHERE THE PARK IS!'
'Ne, ne, Ken-chan! I think the park is there!' Yachiru pointed at the sky, thought for a moment, and shifted the direction of her pointer finger to the ground. 'OR HERE!'
'As if I'm gonna listen to YOUR sense of direction.'
'ARE YOU GONNA STOP ARGUING AND FOLLOW ME TO THE PARK?'
'Ken-chan, you're being MEAN. Meanie-meanie-meanie-meanie-meanie.' Yachiru poked Kenpachi several times wherever she could reach every time she said "meanie".
'I'M LEAVING YOU GUYS ALONE!!'
'NO! ICCHY, THAT'S MEAN!'
'Fine, whatever. So we're all mean. Shut up and RUN.'
oOo
Every single shinigami from seireitei stood in the circular clearing of grass in the park, looking up into the sky, as if waiting for it to fall.
As the gang of hobos plus jyuuichi-bantai figures of authority arrived, the concentration of the crowd was broken as reunions were made.
First was Kira, who miraculously pulled a bottle of sake out of his shihakushou and sat down together with Renji and Matsumoto in the grass. They were, after all of five seconds, joined by Kyouraku, who also snuck a few bottles of sake out of his shihakushou.
A short while after he had done that, Nanao joined the party with her clipboard, incessantly hitting her taichou over the head with it.
Number two: Hinamori. Noticing her childhood friend, she jumped at him.
'SHIROU-CHAN!!'
He sidestepped.
She fell face-flat into the grass.
He laughed.
The rest of the Gotei 13 laughed.
'What d'you do that for?'
'What, and get glomped by you?'
'That's not fair! Why can't I hug you?'
'Because I say no.'
'But—'
'Shaddup.'
'Wait till you reach puberty. You'll regret everything you did to me.'
'RIGHT, as if. Like I'm ever going to reach THAT stage.'
'YEAH! And you wanna know why? You're not tall enough! That's why!'
'SHADDUP!!'
Yamamoto-soutaichou stared at his officers and thought of people to demote and promote.
Meanwhile, Rukia was attempting quiet exchange with her taichou. It wasn't going too well, not with the incessantly-arguing san-sekis surrounding them, doing what they normally do: argue.
Jyuuni-bantai (twelfth division) taichou made a comment. 'They are coming. REEALLY soon.'
All activity ceased, zanpakutous were drawn and released, and shinigami looked expectantly for the sky to fall.
Five minutes of silence ensued. (A/N: applause!)
As un-suddenly and slowly as anything could happen, a dimension warp opened up in the sky and Aizen, flanked by his army of arrancar, stepped out.
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