Chapter 9


Ziva sat in her room, waiting for dinner, which she knew she wouldn't eat.

Magda came in with her dinner, "Long time no see Miss Ziva. Here is your dinner." She set it down on her table and left.

Ziva did exactly what Yael said, she cut her food up and spread it around to look like she'd eaten; hid some of it under her mattress.

At 6pm, Magda came back, "Great job, Ziva. Glad to see you enjoyed it!"

Ziva smiled as Magda exited her room.

She looked out her window to be sure no one was watching her as she removed the sharpener from her sock. She turned away from the window and unscrewed the screw with the plastic spoon from her dinner.

She took the blade out and hid the rest under her mattress.

She pulled up her skirt on one side, exposing her thigh.

She sighed and focused as she drew the silver blade across her thigh three times. She felt invincible, strong and alive; in control and a rush she'd never experienced.

The blood dripped slowly onto her skirt, which was scrunched up on her bed.

She lay down and smiled, putting the blade under her mattress before getting comfortable and falling asleep.


November 20th, 1994 (5 days later)

As soon as he'd appeared, Ziva's only friend was gone. His parents took Rafi home.

He saw Ziva one last time, saying he would never forget her, they kissed again, mutually, and both cried as he was forced out.

Eli had kept his promise of not visiting. Rivka could not visit without her husband getting suspicious. Ziva felt more alone than ever.

-One Month Later-

Ziva groaned and rubbed her eyes. She guessed it was around 6am. If she was correct, then she knew someone would be around to take her vitals shortly.

She changed out of her pajamas and into her hospital gown.

Both of her thighs were covered in cuts, just high enough to not be seen in her gown.

Her arms hung like strings on her frail body, hipbones jutting out under the piece of material she was forced to wear for vitals.

She sat on her bed as Alitzah entered her room.

"Boker Tov, Ziva. Come on, let's get up so I can take your weight first." Alitzah sounded cheery, but she knew this was not going to be a pleasant result.

Ziva stepped on the scale. When she'd arrived at Elyakim Hospital, she weighed 31.75 kilos (70 lbs).

Ziva watched with baited breath as Alitzah moved the slider further to the left. The nurse sighed, "Ziva, what is going on? You are only 26 kilos (57 lbs). You are wasting away. If you don't get your weight up, you'll be forced to leave. You know we can't help those that don't want to be helped."

Ziva looked at her, face sunken in, "Fine. Whatever."

The holiday was fast approaching, but it didn't matter.

The young Israeli couldn't feel anything anymore. She had no one who cared about her. She'd not received any Chanukah presents or cards.

-December 27th 1994-


Christmas Eve, the hospital had to discharge her due to her being uncooperative.

Her mother picked her up, not recognizing the skeleton that was her daughter. She knew that Ziva could not come home, and subsequently face the wrath of Eli.

She drove her only child to the airport, tears streaming down her face as handed Ziva an envelope.

Rivka explained had been saving up money from pawning her jewelry.

"My sweet Ziva, this is for you. I am sending you to America to live with your cousin, Abraham. He is in the Navy, living on a base. You will be safe there."

Ziva cried, sobbing, "Why Ima? Why can't you come with me?"

Rivka sighed, putting her hands on her emaciated daughter's shoulders. "I cannot explain, but I do hope you will understand."

She removed the gold Star of David from her own neck and placed it around her daughters. "This is yours now, you will always have a piece of me with you. Always." She held her daughter close, and whispered, "At lo levad (you are not alone). Okay?"

Ziva nodded and wiped her eyes. Embracing her mother once more, she went to go board the plane to her new life in a new country.

A/N: (revised 3/28/16) I will most likely update in about a week, depending on my schedule. Ziva's life is about to get so much better in this next chapter. I promise! Thanks for the reviews!