Disclaimer: Not mine
Eight: Waiting
Jack sat eating breakfast with Kate, Hanna and Finn at his kitchen table and wondered what they could do today. He still had nearly a week left of his vacation, and he figured he might as well take it. He wanted to rush back to the hospital and stay all day, but he didn't think that would be good for Finn. Yeah, she had squeezed his hand, twice, but beyond that there had been no change. He had already called the hospital to make sure, and there had been no change. The kid was already having nightmares; he didn't need to see his mother lying there lifeless all day.
They finally decided to go and see her first thing and drop off the iPod and dock so that she could hear some music, and then spend the day at the zoo. Maybe they could stop back by on the way home again. Just to see.
When they arrived, they had to wait because the doctor was in with her. Leaving the kids at the door, Jack squared his shoulders and went in. If there was something else he could do, he needed to know it now. He would do whatever she needed, whatever it took. He shook hands with the doctor and introduced himself as her "boyfriend," really just leaving out one pertinent syllable, not exactly lying, very glad at the moment that she wasn't conscious to correct him. The doctor explained what he could, and told him that his visit had obviously helped last night; it was the first response they had gotten from her so far. Although he made no guarantees, he was guardedly optimistic that she would regain consciousness soon, and encouraged him to come back as often as he could.
"At this point, there is no medical reason that she isn't waking up. In my experience with situations such as these, many times patients' subconscious minds simply choose not to wake up, because it's preferable to them for whatever reason due to the circumstances of their lives. It's simply less painful to stay where they are."
Anger flashed momentarily in Jack's eyes before he was able to rein it in. "With all due respect, doctor, that's ridiculous. Samantha has a son that she would do anything for. She has a lot of people who love her very much. She was happy with her life before this happened." Okay, he knew that wasn't exactly true; even he could see how lonely she had been. Every once in a while, she would let her mask slip and he would see the longing in her eyes. For him. But she'd never acted on it. Because she thought she deserved to be alone, after what she'd done. And he'd let it go on. For a second, he allowed his anger to be directed at the correct source: himself. And then he tamped it down, because it wasn't going to help her now, was it?
And damn it, he knew her. If this was the work of her subconscious mind, it had to be more than that. He almost smacked his own forehead with the realization. The case. The fucking case. He needed to find out about the case she'd been working on. She was just like him in that regard. If she had failed, or felt she had failed, that would be enough. Sighing, he looked at her, and then back at the doctor, who was still talking.
Dr. Abrams looked at him kindly. "Of course I can't speculate as to the reason, as I have no knowledge of her life before this happened. It's just a theory, Agent Malone. All I can suggest is for you and her family to talk to her, sit with her. Show her that she's loved and missed. Give her a reason to come back."
Jack nodded, his eyes on her face. He could do that. A thought implanted itself very suddenly in his mind. "Do you think⦠I mean, I was thinking of spending the night here, if I could, if you think that might help." The doctor nodded immediately.
"It certainly couldn't hurt. I'll make a note of it in her file, so they'll let you stay. It isn't our usual policy, but if it's in the best interest of the patient, which I think is definitely true in this case, I think we can make an exception."
"We brought music to play for her, if that's all right," he said then, remembering the iPod, smiling at the thought of his daughters' effort. "My daughters found some songs for her."
Dr. Abrams smiled. "I think that's a great idea. I'll leave you all alone to visit with her for awhile, and I'll make a note that you'll be back this evening."
When he left, the children came in uncertainly, and Jack picked Finn up again to kiss his mother tenderly. The girls set up the iPod dock and left the music playing softly as they all filed out of the room. Jack stopped at the door and turned back to stare at her. She hadn't given any indication she knew that they were there, and he wondered if he had imagined the very slight squeezes of his hand he had been sure that he felt last night, just because he wanted it to be true so very badly.
On impulse, he crossed the room quickly, brushing his hand gently over her face. "We love you, Samantha," he told her quietly. "We're here waiting for you." Then he leaned down and very carefully brushed his mouth over hers in a soft, sweet kiss. "I want to have the right to do that again," he told her softly, "so if you want me to stop, you'd damn well better wake up and tell me. Otherwise, I'll be back to do it again later."
There was no outward change, and he had no way of knowing that beneath the layers of fog that enshrouded her mind and body, her heart was melting. Jack! Hope bloomed inside her, strong and true, because there was no way that she'd imagined that. He was here. Now she just had to figure out how to come back to herself enough to tell him that stop would be the dead last thing she would ever tell him.
God, she felt like freaking Sleepy Beauty, awakened all of a sudden by that one soft kiss. Instantly banished were the maudlin thoughts that had plagued her all night, scenes of everything that had gone wrong, all of the times they had hurt each other, and in their place were all of the cherished memories that she'd tried to block out for so long. Sleeping in his arms, waking up to him in the morning, spending nights together even as they maintained separate apartments⦠for what? They had wasted so much time, when they could have been together. Steeping herself in those memories, for once, she vowed that if they ever got another chance, she would never let him go again.
If anyone had chanced into her room at that moment, they would have wondered just what had put that smile on her face.
TBC...
