Brian McFadden stretched and turned toward the fire to pour himself another cup of horrible tasting coffee. He rubbed his bearded face and got ready to watch another sunset, alone. He looked to the sky and tried again to calculate if it was May or June. He had accidentally smashed his watch a few weeks ago, and had lost track of the days. He knew he would have to return to his family soon. He didn't want to let Crane down, even though the thought of watching a wedding and hearing declarations of love, made him anxious. He knew he had to do it. Kathleen would be ticked off at him, if he didn't.

He had come to this hilltop wounded, just as he had when was sixteen, and they had to carry on with round-up, despite the fact that their parents had died. It comforted him somehow, and alone up here, he hadn't been forced to hide his emotions or consider anyone's feelings. IHe couldn't bear the thought of the worry and strain he was causing everyone, and he just wanted to be alone with his grief. He could barely remember his first few days up here. He had spent them wailing and railing against the sky; against God who had allowed him to be orphaned and widowed. But slowly, over time, he had come to peace and to terms with his life. He turned to reflect on the days he'd shared with Kathleen, grateful that she'd been his for as long as she had. He could've gone through life never knowing her, and he reckoned that six months and three days was better, far better, than not at all. Still, grief and anger would wash over him from time to time, and he was powerless to fight it off.

He glanced at the sky, and a sound filled his ears that shocked him; voices. He saw them in the distance then, and had to smile. He thought Hannah had shown great restraint, waiting all this time to come after him. His eyes grew wide, as he realized she was carrying a baby.

"Brian!" She called and passing the small bundle to her husband, she ran to him with arms outstretched.

He met her halfway and it felt good to be swallowed up in a hug.

"Sis!" He said. "Are you crazy? You hiked all the way up here?"

Adam walked up then. "Don't get me started. Horseback riding was out of the question, thanks to your niece here, and she would not be deterred."

He reached out with one arm and hugged Brian, relieved that he looked well. "Nice beard." He said grinning.

Brian rubbed his face. "I forgot to pack a razor." He said with a grin. "Let me see her." He lifted the baby out of Adam's arms.

"Katie Joy, this is your Uncle Brian." Adam said and Hannah kept an arm around him as he peered down into Katie's eyes.

"Her hair is red!" He said as sudden tears sprang to his eyes. "She looks like . . ." He swallowed. "She looks like Mom!"

"Her eyes were blue, but they've turned green." Hannah said softly. "I guess those McFadden genes are strong. The twins look like Adam, and she looks like your mother." She smiled at him. "You okay?"

He nodded and kissed her cheek. "She's just beautiful, Hannah."

Adam smiled, and wiped tears from his own face, surprised to discover how anxious he'd been about Brian.

"Come on and sit by the fire." Brian said looking up. "You must be tired. That's quite a hike!"

They sat around the fire with Brian gazing at his niece, unwilling to hand her over, until she squalled angry and hungry. "She wants her Mama." Brian said at last handing her back to Hannah. Adam passed her a blanket and Katie settled in to eat.

"What day is it?" Brian asked.

"Thursday." Adam said looking at him.

"No, I mean what day of what month? I broke my watch and lost track somehow."

"June 26th." Hannah told him. "You've been gone a long time."

"You weren't worrying, were you?" He asked. "You promised me."

"I promised to try not to worry. Not worrying at all was asking a lot." She said reaching out and squeezing his shoulder.

"I suppose you expect me to head back with you." He said.

"Well, expect is a little heavy-handed. It was more like hope." Adam said. "Everyone misses you. Are you ready?"

"I don't know if I'm ready, but I think its time. I can't let Crane down. He must be excited, not too many days left."

"Won't that be too hard?" Hannah asked concerned. "Crane and Molly would understand."

"Kathleen wouldn't. We talked a lot about what she wanted for me, for after." He sighed and hesitated. "I'm not good company just yet, but I'm gonna try really hard, for her sake, and for yours." He said which surprised them.

"You don't have to be anything for us." Hannah said. "You can be yourself, however, you are feeling."

"I know that, Sis. I just mean . . ." He looked at Adam. "After Mom and Dad died, I got really scared, and so spent a lot of my life kind of hiding and holding back. I've never been the mushy type, and it was easiest for me to show love to the boys, but I wouldn't really let anyone else in - it was too scary. I guess I built up a lot of walls and sort of hid behind anger or I don't know my tough-guy act. But Katie sort of blew all that apart - well, you sort of chipped away at it first, Hannah." He smiled at her. Katie had finished eating, and fallen asleep. She lay in Hannah's arms perfectly content.

"I didn't want to love you. I didn't want Adam to love you either. I was afraid that you would leave, and he'd be shattered." He said looking at his older brother. "Love is such a dangerous thing. It is easier to keep everyone away; there are too many things that can happen. And losing people, well, it changes everything."

"It leaves its marks on us." Adam said.

"Yeah. You always, always have to make sure everyone knows you love them - even if you are just going out to the barn to check on the animals, and Crane has to sit and calculate over and over to make sure there is enough to keep us all safe. We all bear scars - even Guthrie, who couldn't sleep alone until you brought home a mother for him."

"What?" Hannah said surprised.

"You never mentioned it? He slept with Adam and me, his whole life - well, from the day they died. He woke up every single night of his life, crying. When he was little he would cry for Mama, but as he got older he would just cry until someone sang him to sleep. It was three days after you showed up that he slept through the night for the first time in his life, and he has every day since." Brian told her. She blinked surprised and Adam nodded at her.

"It's true. I never said anything because . . ." He swallowed. "It is kind of hard to say how much you . . .you . . .it was like he was waiting for you, all those days. You can't really ever now what a difference you've made." He wiped tears from his face. "Not just a difference for me, but for the boys; for Guthrie."

"And for me." Brian said. "You made me feel brave enough to love Katie, I mean really love her."

"But you lost her. Isn't that what you feared?" Hannah asked.

"Yeah, and I don't understand why, but those six months were perfect. So much that was broken inside got healed. I don't know. It might sound stupid, but I think she was sent to me by God." He looked up at them embarrassed. "Do you think that's corny?"

"No." Adam said, and Hannah shook her head.

"Death wounds and scars, but love heals. I mean I do feel all shattered inside without her, but I feel stronger too, for having known her. Mostly I feel fortunate that she was mine for just that little while. She healed me. Love does that - it makes things right." Brian said gently. "I know that sounds like some sad little greeting card, but its true. I understand that better now, Adam. I didn't before and was just scared and jealous too."

"I never stopped needing you." Adam said. "You know that. It was you and me. I couldn't of raised those boys without you, especially in the beginning. You know how mean and angry I was. I was so hard on Daniel during that round-up. It pains me to even remember. But it comforts me that he had you, and the you kept them all together. I only want happiness for you, and I wish so much that she were still at your side."

"She's part of me now, so she won't ever really be all the way gone. We had good days, all of them. I'm grateful. I am. I don't regret it. Not one second, even with all that means."

Hannah moved closer to him, and set Katie in his arms. He smiled down at his little niece, and kissed her rose-petal soft cheek.

"We love you Brian, and I am so glad that you are my brother." She said. "You are such a good uncle to them. "My heart breaks for you, and I pray that you will have peace. I would do anything to . . ." She paused unable to continue.

"Hush now," He said to her wrapping one arm around her. "Don't wake little Katie Joy here." He studied his niece. "She looks like you, Hannah. Her lips are just like yours. The reason that she looks like Mama isn't because of Adam; you look like our Mom - I'll show you a picture of her when she was younger. From the first day, we all noticed it. Mom's hair was red, but she had a nose just like yours, and she was small like you. It was one of the reasons I was so upset. Every time I saw you, I thought of her."

"Adam . . ." She said looking up surprised.

"I honestly didn't notice it at first." Adam explained. "Crane mentioned it, and then I saw it. I wasn't really thinking about Mom at all when I saw you." He grinned. "But you do, you look like her a little bit."

"I . . ." She stared at them.

"Geez, Adam! The things you don't tell her!" Brian said smiling and he realized suddenly that he was smiling; that he could still smile. "I'll have to explain to you about the things you ought to tell your wife."

"Well, good." Adam said. "I could use some advice!" He winked at Hannah.

"We can head back in the morning." Brian said. "I'm just about out of food anyway. I've been reusing old coffee grounds and I can't wait for a good cup of coffee."

"That we can help you with right now!" Hannah said smiling, and rising reached into the backpack they'd brought along revealing a thermos. She opened and poured a cup. He handed Katie to her father, and accepted the steaming cup. Hannah sat beside Adam leaning on his shoulder. They sat across the fire from him, and he had to smile looking at them.

They were the picture of love and happiness: A man, his wife and child. He sighed hit with a searing pain, but at the same time a warmth and comfort filled him.

"You two." He said looking at them.

"What?" Adam said.

"You are lucky is all." Brian said and then seeing their faces he continued, "No, don't feel guilty. That's not what I meant. I just . . ." He looked up to the hills and mountains around him. "I know how it feels. I still feel it now." He said thinking of Kathleen's smile and the softness of her lips.

"I love her." He said. "It doesn't matter that she's not here anymore. I still love her."

Adam nodded, and Brian looked at his older brother suddenly remembering something he had said a long, long time ago. "People die but love never does."

"Yeah." Adam said remembering. "They are always with us; always."

They sat together a long time, watching the stars appear one by one. The moon was bright and full spilling its silvery light on everything. And Brian, who felt both broken and restored all at the same time, rested beneath its glowing pool of light, as though it were the loving gaze of someone dear.