CHAPTER 9

The lavish pale lavender lobby of the Hotel Peer Gynt was a large L-shaped hall with the longer arm of the L being much wider than the shorter arm. The main revolving door entrance was at the bottom/south wall of the shorter arm directly in line with the end of the also L-Shaped counter that served as the front desk set with it's longer arm running the entire length of the east wall beginning at the north wall.

A seating area occupied the shorter arm of the L to the right of the revolving door with the north and south walls each equipped with 2 comfortable armchairs. Side tables with lamps were placed between the armchairs and a decorative potted plant was positioned next to the left arm chair at the north wall in line with another immediately to the right of the revolving door. A light brown rug decorated the floor of the seating area while above it in the ceiling was a round lamp within a red glass cube. Lavender columns were positioned at an entrance way at the end of the shorter arm of the L which enabled access to a separate corridor with more arm chairs along the walls.

As Max and 99 entered through the revolving door they scarcely had time to admire the luxury before turning left into the wider longer arm of the L, featuring the main area of the lobby with it's own richly embroidered larger rug. About 20 feet diagonally to the left of the revolving door was a waist high table with 3 glass partitioned public phones. Beyond that in the south west corner was a slight extension to the bottom of the long arm of the L with another sitting area with more colorful armchairs, a large t.v set and it's own darker brown rug.

Max guided 99 over to twin bright blue sofas arranged back-to-back with a narrow wooden shelf just an inch higher than the sofa's backs in between them on which a large vase of flowers was placed in between two decorative metal plates. The sofas were positioned a few feet before the front desk in line with shorter arm of the counter's L Shape. Low coffee tables of varnished wood with a green ash tray on each were placed before each sofa in either direction. Sitting down on the sofa facing the front desk, Max picked magazines from the coffee table before them and handed one to 99.

"The Chief is really worried about this case Max." 99 noted as she slipped the handles of her handbag from her left shoulder to place it on her lap as she gazed to her left at the north wall and head of the long arm of the L shaped lobby. She noted a curtained door in the wall beyond which was a corridor with a decorative marble table with another vase of flowers on it. A wooden table to the left of the door held a marble lamp with a yellow lampshade while a potted plant stood to the right of the door. Further to the right of the plant were 2 elevators with wide wooden doors and then the end of the north wall and the beginning of the long L-shaped front desk counter running along the east wall. Another potted plant was positioned at the north wall at the head of the counter's L shape.

"Don't worry Ninety-Nine. Once we contact our agent I'll check if he's seen Němec. If not, we'll just follow the model. Němec is sure da make contact with her sooner or later." Max said as he flipped through his magazine.

"I hope KAOS hasn't made their next move yet. Otherwise Němec won't even see her today." 99 pointed out.

"Everything's under control Ninety-Nine." Max assured gazing over at the long front desk where numerous well-dressed guests were queueing. "The eagle eye and keen mind of Maxwell SMART can absolutely guarantee that even if the next heist is happening RIGHTNOW, Němec will NOT report for duty without first coming to see Pernilla Johansson."

"How can you be sure Max?"

"Because my eagle eye and keen mind—" Max declared. "—just found Ms Pernilla Johansson's photograph in this magazine."

Max opened up his magazine fully to reveal the 99 the centrefold which showed the 5 foot 11 inch, Pernilla Johansson sprawled out on her side on the floor in a studio, on top of some form of white, striped animal fur; her hip length glorious light chestnut brown hair flowing over her broad bare shoulders, smouldering gray eyes burning at the camera as her sharp perfect chin thrusted forward below her pouting full lips. She was clad for the shoot in a black silk spaghetti strap slip that just barely reached to her mid-thigh, revealing long porcelain legs that seemed to go on forever.

99 grimaced at the picture and narrowed her eyes at Max who stared dreamily at the centrefold with one eyebrow raised. Leaving him to dream, she looked back at the 2 elevators at the head of the long arm of the L shaped lobby. Both of them chimed at about the same time and the wood panelled elevator doors slid open. From each elevator, a bellhop exited, dressed in their dark blue double-breasted suits with gold buttons, yellow collars and a narrow yellow band around the sleeves few inches above the wrist; over a white shirt and black tie. Their trouser legs bore a yellow stripe down the sides, which flashed as each of them pushed or pulled a fully loaded luggage laden cart out of the elevators.

Both bellhops pushed their luggage carts along the length of the front desk past Max and 99 and finally stopped near the revolving door. One of them was a lean man about 5ft 10, in his late thirties with neat ash gray hair and widow's peak and deep smile lines on his round chinned face.

"You just take it easy." He told the other younger bellhop. "I'll take care of this with the front desk."

As the other bellhop nodded gratefully, the older bellhop walked back along the length of the front desk.

"Max, there he is." 99 informed.

When there was no immediate response, 99 turned and nudged Max with her elbow to bring him back from his dreamy stare at the magazine.

"Oh!" Max looked up finally and regaining his composure declared. "You keep an eye on everyone in the lobby Ninety-Nine. I'll make contact."

"Right Max."

Max rose with the magazine still in his hand and walked over to Wilkins who was standing at the north end of the front desk where the large potted plant on the floor was. The CONTROL agent had his left elbow on the desk and faced south, seemingly allowing the front desk staff to focus on the guests who were checking in and out before bringing up his issue with them. Walking up to him, Max stood leaning his back against the front desk counter putting the potted plant on his right and Wilkin's back on his left.

While continuing to browse through his magazine, in a low surreptitious, serious tone of utmost caution and secrecy, Max began.

"Will you come my Phyllis dearie?"

Wilkins without turning or taking his eyes off the busy front desk personnel, continued.

"To the wild mountain free."

Max flipped to a new page of his magazine and continued.

"Where blossoms smell the sweetest."

"Come roll along with me."

"So wait for the wagon."

"Oh. Wait for the wagon."

Then both of them putting forth their best bass pitch, sang together tilting their heads back at the end.

"And we'll aaaall—take a riiiiiiiide."

Finishing the recognition code, Max continued reading his magazine as the agent greeted him over his shoulder.

"Eighty-Six."

"Wilkinson."

"It's Wilkins!" the agent hissed still looking forward. "You're always getting my name wrong Max!"

Max frowned at this revelation, mouthing the two names over and over again trying to figure out which one was right.

"The Chief said you're looking for a KAOS agent who's supposedly with that Swedish model Pernilla?"

"Correct." Max confirmed. "Stanislav Němec. Here's his picture. Have you seen him?"

Max flipped to another page and held it open while Wilkins casually shifted his position to lean his back against the front desk also and crossing his arms as though to settle in for a long wait, enabling him to gaze at Max's open magazine, now on his right.

"Is he in disguise here?" Wilkins puzzled looking about.

"Of course not!" Max scowled, looking about the busy lobby. "What use would it be to show you a picture of him in disguise?!"

"You're showing me a picture of Phyllis Diller!" was Wilkin's response.

Max's eyes widened and he looked at his magazine and realized it was indeed an article of the famous comedian, posing on stage in one of her trademark loud dresses with a cigarette holder in her teeth and grinning at the camera.

Max grimaced and flipped to the next page where he had actually stashed the photo.

"No. Haven't seen him." Wilkins reported. "But Pernilla is in suite Seven-Oh-Four. She checked in about two months ago, paid for SIX months and only returned recently for the fashion show."

"So she kept the room even though she wasn't here." Max surmised.

"What's more, even though she's gone, room service has been getting regular orders from her suite and charging it to her account." Wilkins added.

"Did they see who received the food?" Max asked.

"The room service boys say it's some guy with a red beard and hair, big dark glasses. Could be Němec in disguise."

"Why didn't' you check it out?!" Max exclaimed softly looking about.

"My orders didn't involve Pernilla!" Wilkins hissed before smiling cordially and waving at a front desk staff who was gesturing to him asking him to wait a bit longer. "Besides, we're talking about a woman who dated the Mafia! She could be with any NUMBER of criminals who don't want to be recognized or it could just be a married guy!"

"Okay! Okay!" Max grumbled. "Is Pernilla in her room now?"

"No she left bout' nine this morning. Goes shopping for hours every day."

"The guy with the red beard?"

"Haven't seen im but I wasn't looking and there're lots of ways in and out of this place."

"Okay, Wilkinson…"

"Wilkins!"

Max squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head in frustration before continuing.

"Okay! Okay!—Wilkins! We need da get into Pernilla's room, plant some listening devices and search for anything that could give us a clue to Němec's presence."

"Bellhops don't have keys to rooms but you can use your skeleton key." Wilkins suggested. "Problem is making sure there's no one inside first. We could call the room but if it's Němec up there or anyone else that's trying da keep a low profile, he might just not answer. But I got a plan."

"Good." Max nodded flipping the page of the magazine. "Here's what we do. You and Ninety-Nine get into the room while I stay down here and keep an eye out for Pernilla."

"Right Eighty-Six." Wilkins agreed. "But I can't be gone too long. It's check out time now and as you can see it's really busy down here."

"I THINK—this is more im-POR-tant!" Max declared

"So is my cover here!" Wilkins insisted. "Plus I'm up for Employee of the Month!"

Max frowned and shook his head in disbelief.

"Wilkins this is NOT a real JOB! You're a secret agent for CONTROL!"

"I know that!" Wilkins hissed still pretending to be waiting for the front desk staff. "But the Employee of the Month gets a really nice mug. Solid steel, inlaid with real silver, made in Switzerland! I could use one for my coffee back at CONTROL, since I don't get to keep my PAY from this cover-job!"

"I hear you!" Max said rolling his eyes.

"Have Ninety-Nine meet me on the seventh."

"Right."

Outside the door with the ornate gold number plate reading '704' a few minutes later, the middle-aged red haired chamber maid stood, keys dangling from her right hand fingers while her left rested on the handle of her cleaning trolley. A few seconds later, the door opened and Wilkins came out with an annoyed look on his face.

"You can lock it up." He grumbled gesturing angrily at the offending door.

"Where're the packages?" the maid asked as she locked the door with a few loud turns of the key.

"That's what I'D like da know!" Wilkins huffed tossing his hands up in resignation. "She told the front desk da send someone up at ONE-THIRTY! ONE-THIRTY!" Wilkins pointed at his watch in annoyance. "And whaddaya know? No Pernilla! No packages!"

"You sure you looked everywhere?" the maid grimaced hooking the keys onto her belt.

"Everywhere I DARED!" Wilkins rolled his eyes. "Even inside the BATHrooms! Nothing! I HATE it when these egomaniacal celebrities stay here!"

"Tell me bout it!" the maid tossed her head back scoffing. "She demands new towels every TWO hours whenever she's in!"

"With all that shopping she does, it's gonna every bellhop we got when SHE checks out." Wilkins grunted. "Anyway, thanks Irma! Gadda get back downstairs."

Irma laughed giving Wilkins a slap on the arm as she moved down the corridor pushing her cleaning cart. Wilkins walked back towards the elevator but once a surreptitious look over her shoulder confirmed that Irma was out of sight, he stopped and walked a few steps back towards a door to a storage room. His knuckles rapped out a quick 3 knock signal. The door opened slightly and 99's yellow bereted head appeared.

"Clear." Wilkins said.

Emerging from the storage closet, the two CONTROL agents hurried back to room 704 with 99's gray cotton gloved hand emerging from her compact white handbag under her left arm with her skeleton key. A second late they both stepped into the living area furnished with plush armchairs and sofas and featured a wide sliding glass door in the northern wall opposite the door leading to a balcony.

99's large blue eyes widened as she gave a lopsided smile.

"I never got a room like THIS when I was modelling. This living room is bigger than my whole apartment!"

"Rub it in." Wilkins grimaced nodding sideways to a door in the eastern wall of the living area. "The BED in there is the size of my place."

99 gave a soft laugh and paused as she sniffed the air.

"Havanas." 99 confirmed. "Someone's been smoking a lot of it in here."

"Noticed that too." Wilkins nodded. "We're definitely on the right track. I'll look out here first, you start in the bedroom."

The bed room was almost twice the size of the living area. And while 99 was sure that Wilkins was exaggerating about the size of the bed compared to his apartment, the prime furniture in the room certainly did not fail to impress. It was semi-circular in shape and larger than even a king-sized, swathed in bright red satin sheets. 99 searched the drawers on both sides of the bed finding nothing unusual. When she got halfway through the cabinets Wilkins came walked in.

"Nothing in the living room." He reported striding over to a set of slatted double doors to the left of the bed. "I'll check the walk-in closet."

99 nodded from where she crouched going through the drawers. Her gloved hands rifled swiftly through the items in each one but nothing unusual turned up. Quickly she straightened and joined Wilkins in the walk-in closet.

Upon entering she again had to stop to blink for a second at the size of the room. It stretched away from her for nearly 20 ft, with all manners of dresses and coats lining the walls on either side. Two coats on the left wall parted to reveal Wilkins stepping out from some space behind them.

"There's enough room back there for her own shop." Wilkins said jerking a thumb over his shoulder at the place he just stepped from.

"Fortunately we won't have to look over every inch." 99 pointed a gloved finger towards the back of the closet.

Wilkins followed her and at the last 5 ft of the closet space, they checked the clothing hanging on both sides.

"Men's clothes." Wilkins noted immediately.

99 lifted a few sports jackets and pants from the hangers examining them closely.

"They're all the same size." 99 confirmed. "For a man of Němec's height and weight."

"Got something back here." Wilkin's voice sounded from behind the row of suits on the left.

He stepped out with what looked like an oversized black brief case, twice the thickness of a normal one. Turning it outwards, he opens it up to reveal a multitude of padded pockets and foamed lined inserts containing different types of glasses, false moustaches and eyebrows of a variety of colors, prosthetic noses, cheeks, bottles of facial adhesives and toners, different colored false sideburns etc.

"Disguise kit." 99 noted picking up one of the bottles of toners and examining it.

"And a large number of mannequin heads back there too with different colored toupées."

"The man spotted by room service HAS to be Němec." 99 surmised with a gloved fist pressed to her fine chin. "We need…"

She was interrupted by a ringing from her hangbag. Reaching in, she extracted her compact and flipped it open, pulling the antenna.

"Agent Ninety-Nine here."

In the lobby, Max at in the blue sofa facing away from the front desk, watching the revolving door and reading a magazine. He had no choice but to use his Wrist Communicator T-37 as the less conspicuous evil as opposed to his shoe phone.

"Ninety-Nine." Max spoke into his T-37 on his raised left wrist as he held the magazine up and peered towards his left at the revolving door door where a tall woman in a long white fur lined coat and sunglasses was just sweeping in.

She walked with her chin up, long mane of glorious light chestnut brown hair flowing behind her. Scurrying to keep up with her were two men and a woman in suits and skirt suits, each one overburdened with at least 8 to 9 shopping bags bearing the names of dozens of fashion labels.

"Pernilla is back." Max reported

"Is Němec with her?" 99 asked nodding quickly to Wilkins who swiftly shut the disguise kit and moved to place it back.

"No." Max replied. "Just a few personal shoppers. Definitely not him. You and Wil…uh…you two better finish up and plant the bugs. I'll stall her."

"Right Max." 99 acknowledged.

"She's heading to the elevator now." Max noted.

Pernilla stopped right at the elevator so suddenly her three staff slammed into each other trying to avoid walking into her and one of the men and the woman dropped several shopping bags. As they scrambled to pick up the fallen items, Pernilla turned to them and spoke imperiously in her sharp voice.

"All vight. Disappear until I call for you. Ensure every one of those items are packed and ready for transport according to my instructions. And if I find so much as a crease, smudge, spot, wrinkle or misaligned THREAD in any ONE of those items, each of which are worth FIFTY of you worthless SERFS—you will all never work in this WORLD again."

"Yes!...Yes Miss Johansson!" the three personal shoppers nodded, sweating and clutching onto their shopping bags.

"Be gone." Pernilla decreed turning her back to them and all three of them practically ran from her, shopping bags flying from their fists.

As Pernilla waited for the elevator, a nasal voice assailed her.

"Miss Pernilla Johansson?"

Pernilla turned to look down her nose at the short lean man in the dim gray suit and tie standing before her. His ears looked big enough to propel a small elephant through the air and his lisp of a mouth looked like an accidental gash.

"You already know the answer to that." The model replied coldly.

"Well, uh…of course." Max nodded. "I'm Richard M Colm from the New York Times. I flew down especially to cover the show here in D.C and our fashion editor was wondering if you could spare a few moments for an interview."

"That is most peculiar since the show was just IN New York and I've already given an interview to no less than FIVE reporters from your fashion page." Was Pernilla's frosty response though she could not help but lift a plucked eyebrow at the way the man's beady eyes gleam over the curves of her figure outlined by her form fitting silver, silk thigh length dress under her coat.

"Well," Max said with a lopsided smile as he hooked a thumb into the pocket of his double-breasted dim gray vest. "ONE interview is hardly enough for someone of your…eeeh—" 86's eyes lowered slightly to the hills of Pernilla's silk wrapped breasts. "—stature."

Pernilla smiled as the beady eyed man made a visible effort to flick his eyes up from her chest to meet her sunglasses.

In the suite, 99 crouched at the coffee table with her gloved hand under it. Wilkins walked in from the bedroom.

"Ok! Bugs are in place, under both bedside tables, inside the closet and bathroom."

"I placed them under the table out on the balcony, putting the last one in here now." 99 reported before standing up. "Ok. Let's go."

They both trotted to the suite's door but even as Wilkins reached for the door knob, they heard the metallic movement of tumblers as a key slid into the lock. They barely had time to give each other a wide eyed look of shock before bolting in a full run towards the bed room.

They both barely managed to get out of line-of-sight of the front door as they ducked into the bedroom when they heard the knob turn and the door opened. Wilkins grabbed 99's gloved hand and they dashed towards the walk in closet. They barely managed to get in and close the door soundlessly as they heard footsteps in the living area.

"She COULDN'T have got up here so fast!" Wilkins hissed softly as the peered through the slats which casted bars of light onto their faces. "Even if she DID get past Max!"

"Could it be the maid?" 99 whispered

"No. Irma had already cleared this entire wing. That's why I asked for her help da get me in earlier." Wilkins declared. "It..."

"Oh no." came 99's hushed exclamation and both of them stared in shock through the slats as a figure entered the room.

It was not Pernilla however but a man with a neat gray beard and thick hair and sideburns under a black fedora with sunglasses, in a dark brown suit and tie, wrapped in a beige trench coat. 99 and Wilkins backed away from the door preparing to duck behind the dresses should the man come towards them.

Fortunately, for the moment, the man tossed his fedora and sunglasses on the bed revealing a styled pompadour haircut and cold gray eyes before stepping into the adjoining bathroom as he shrugged off his trench coat. Both 99 and Wilkins scowled in annoyance as the man left the door opened dashing their hopes of a quick escape. They heard the faucet turn on and remained running along with quick splashes.

"So after I was crowned Fröken Sverige I of course went on to represent Sveden in zer Miss Universe Pageant." Pernilla expounded.

She was lounging in one of the lavish sofa's in the extended bottom of the L's long arm where the T.V was, her fur lined coat sprawled open and her long porcelain legs crossed comfortably. Max sat opposite her in an armchair with a notepad and pen, scribbling away.

"And you won of course." Max said his eyes darting up and down from the note pad to Pernilla's long sleek thighs, following the curve of her hamstrings down to their glorious end underneath her.

"You should know of course zhat I didn't but I take no offence because I love to tell the story." Pernilla continued unfazed and purposely straightened her right leg which was on top as though to stretch it but actually to flex her hamstring which bulged sensually along with the lower edge of her exposed gluts.

It had the desired effect as Max's hand holding his pencil seemed to spasm followed by a loud click and splintering. He stopped for a moment to look down and slowly lifted up his pencil to reveal the broken tip.

"Uuuh sorry Miss Johansson." Max said sheepishly. "Would you mind if I get another pencil from the front desk?"

"That's your fifth vun eesn't it?" Pernilla's full lips stretched into a smouldering smile as she tilted her head, gray eyes glittering from the light in the lobby.

"That's what happens when I'm PASSIONATE about a story!" Max declared.

"I can tell." Pernilla's right eyebrow lifted knowingly and her thick lower lip pouted. "But I DO hate to interrupt myself when I am telling a story. I too have my—'passions'."

With that she stretched out her long leg again and Max jerked and looked down to see the sharp toe of Pernilla's high heel shoe caressing his right knee.

"Uuuuh…uhhh…uhhhh…" Max stammered quivering in the arm chair staring at Pernilla's moving foot before looking up eye brows slack as he gushed. "I'll memorize it!"

"Splendid." Pernilla breathed and tilting her head back continued. "Yes. I didn't win. I dropped out of zer Miss Universe Pageant because during the semi-finals, who should I receive calls from on the same night but the personal secretaries of Mila Schön and Paco Rabanne, both offering to sign me up there and then to their labels. Not that I could blame them of course…"

Wilkins growled in frustration. "He must've come in through one of the other entrances. If he'd only shut the door, we could make a dash for it!"

"We can't let Max stall Pernilla forever either!" 99 shook her gloved hands anxiously.

"Oh don't worry!" Wilkins scoffed dismissively turning from the closet door, hands on his hips. "Knowing Max's eyes for the ladies and Pernilla's ego they'd be at it for HOURS!"

"That's EXACTLY why we can't let him stall her forever!" 99 exclaimed barely keeping her voice under control as her huge blue eyes flashed in the dim light inside the closet.

"Wait, he's coming out." Wilkins noted leaning towards the door again to peer through the slats.

As they both watched, the man came out of the bathroom and both of their eyes narrowed at his appearance now. The gray hair and beard was gone revealing the sculpted narrow face, square jawline and light brown hair of Stanislav Němec.

The gray toupée and false beard dangled from his hand and he tossed it onto the bed alongside the fedora and sunglasses as he wiped his face with a towel and exited the room.

"We can't stay in here." 99 declared looking about them. "He's bound to come in to stow away his disguise or get a new one.

Wilkins brow furrowed in thought for a few seconds, his forefinger knuckle pressed to his chin. He then looked up shaking the finger for emphasis.

"I've got an idea!" he said. "Follow my lead."

Standing at the bar at the west wall of the living area, a double whiskey on the rocks on the bar top, Němec extracted a white cigar storage tube from inside his sports jacket, removes the cap and slides out the thick havana inside into his hand. He smiles as he puts the thick cigar to his nose and inhales, closing his eyes to savour the aroma. Reaching into his jacket pocket, he produces a double-guillotine-style cigar cutter and inserts the cap end of the cigar into it. Just as he snips off the end neatly, the sound of the closet door opening in the bedroom along with man's voice spins him around toward the door of the bedroom.

"…so Miss Westbrook. Now that you've seen five of our finest suites, how would you like to continue your inspection? One of the restaurants perhaps?"

Němec starts to dash to the bedroom but realizes he was still holding the cigar and cutter and runs back to the bar and then looks back and forth undecidedly trying to decide what to do as a woman's voice now follows, full of airs and superiority.

"Yes. The board of directors are most concerned about the cuisine. We have already received complaints from some highly influential guests on the dwindling quality of the food that is served."

Němec barely manages to stuff the cigar back into it's tube and replace the stopper before reaching into his jacket and yanking out his snub-nosed .38 caliber S&W Model 10. He just barely hides it behind his back before a man in the yellow collared, gold buttoned, dark blue double-breasted suit of a hotel bellhop walks into the living area from the bed room leading a tall striking woman dressed in a long sleeved, A-line ultramarine dress with an orange and red striped band of fabric encircling the dress's turtle-neck to accentuate her graceful neck while a jaunty yellow beret perched atop her dark brown shoulder length hair.

Both of them stopped in their tracks upon seeing him and the bellhop immediately smiled nervously.

"Oh I'm SO sorry sir! We didn't hear you come in!"

Němec's cold eyes squinted back and forth between them and 99 knew what he must be concealing in his right hand behind his back even as she maintained her act.

"WHY are you in here?!" the KAOS agent demanded as an irate guest would upon finding his privacy disrupted. "WHERE is Miss Johansson?!"

"I'm so sorry Sir." Wilkins apologised again. "Miss Johansson is out and we unfortunately received a visit from Miss Westbrook here, out of our Corporate Office in Maryland. She's carrying out a surprise inspection of hotels in our chain."

"Quality Control." 99 smiled with a nod. "All part of the board's efforts to ensure the highest standards of luxury for our …"

"SURELY—you have rooms that are unoccupied." Was Němec's calm challenge which worried 99.

"Ah that was partly my fault." 99 laughed tilting her head making her hair swirl over her shoulder. "You see, we've realized that some of our branches, unfortunately maintain certain rooms in model condition for surprise inspections like these. A practice that is STRICTLY forbidden by our board's policies I assure you. Which is why we always insist on checking a room that is already occupied. MUCH harder for them to …."

"Didn't you hear me come in?" Němec interrupted, his voice increasingly calm and razor edged.

"I'm afraid not Sir!" Wilkins exclaimed. "We were all the way inside the back of the closet and…well, you know how deep it is."

"Checking for fungus and mold you see." 99 explained maintaining her confident smile "It's a common problem with closets of this size and depth. A good thing too as I see Miss Johansson has some VERY expensive apparel in her collection—Rudi Gernreich swimwear, dresses by Mary Quant and Pabo Rabanne. She certainly wouldn't want them ruined! But you'll be glad to hear that her closet is mold and fungus free."

"And we are so sorry to intrude." Wilkins rounded up, clasping his hands apologetically in the face of Němec's relentless stare. "We'll be on our way."

"And I'll speak to the manager to arrange for some complimentary champagne and gift basket sent up for you and Miss Johansson for this inconvenience." 99 turned to Wilkins "I believe the hotel has some Laurent-Perrier in stock?"

"Absolutely Miss Westlake!" Wilkins nodded. "I'll take you to our manager at once so the arrangements can be made. A good day to you sir."

With that they both turned towards the door and Němec's voice froze them in their tracks.

"Aaaalright! Enough iz enuf! Hanz—UP!"

Němec's right hand swung out from behind his back, levelling the snub-nosed S&W Model 10 at them.

Wilkins and 99 both gasped, hoping to still bluff their way out of this mess.

"Sir! Sir!" Wilkins protested putting up a placating hand. "I ASSURE you this isn't necessary! We really AM sorry to intrude on Miss…"

"Quiet!" Němec snapped jerking the gun as he advanced across the living area towards them. "You take me vor zum kind of vool! I knew who you were za moment I zaw you! Well HER at least! Miss WEST-lake—"

99's big eyes widened as Němec gestured with the revolver at her but sighed in resignation as the KAOS agent continued.

"—or should I say—Agent Ninety-Nine of CONTROL!"

With that, Wilkins scowled as well and both he and 99 raised their hands as the KAOS agent stopped directly in front of them just beyond arms reach with the door between them.

"We were sown fotographs ov all known CONTROL agents when we began zhis mission." Němec smirked. "And jor's a zat idiot Marxwell Smart are on da TOP of da list!—" the narrow faced agent paused to chortle, a sound like stones hitting gravel. "—I just want to zee you two squvirm like červ before I revealed zhat da game is UP!"

"You certainly had us fooled." 99 sighed rolling her eyes sideways.

Němec gestured with the S&W Model 10 as he ordered.

"You! Agent Ninety-Nine! Your purse! Toss it on the floor here! You! Bellboy! Your GUN! And no triky!"

"So THIS is what you left Czechoslovakian State Security for?" Wilkins scoffed with a dry chuckle as he retrieved his parted his snub nosed .38 caliber revolver from the inside jacket pocket of his yellow collared double-breasted suit jacket and tossed it over to land at the KAOS agent's feet. "To become a petty thief, robbing hotels and armored cars?"

"Yezzzz." Němec nodded and pouted slightly as he tilted his brown haired head. "Afzer ten jears of KILING a TOR-ture a maiming innozent, helpless peeple—I started to realize zumthing!"

"That what you're doing is inhuman and wrong?" 99 offered as she slipped her handbag with her right hand from her left shoulder.

Němec squinted as he replied.

"Ne. I realize—I not getting paid ENUV for it! Or getting enough BENEFITS! Zoo you know NOW, I get tventy-five percent SUFFARING bonus if I don't die immediately from my vounds? Pluz they hav Annual Dances—I LOVE to dance! A I've always wanted to zee South America!—" Němec paused to take a deep breath and raise his left arm to proclaim at the ceiling. "—WHERE has KAOS BEEN all my life?!"

"We're SO glad you've found your calling." 99 grimaced as she slipped her handbag's handles past her wrist, surreptitiously detaching one of the glass pellets from the bracelet she wore and palming it before tossing her handbag over to join Wilkin's revolver next to the KAOS agent's shoes.

"Děkuji! Děkuji!" Němec beamed, nodding happily. "A now! Time to say—rozloučení!"

99's big eyes widens slightly as the KAOS agent aims his revolver at them.

"You KNOW you can't shoot us here." Wilkins declared. "It's a full house right now and EVERY-one on this floor is gonna hear the shot!"

"And you'll have to find a new hiding place." 99 shrugged.

"Zhat iz why, we huv ZHIS!" Němec announced, his left hand coming out of his jacket pocket with a polished black metal tube which he proceeds to attach to the muzzle of his revolver. "We wouldn't want to disturb zher ozher guests…"

The KAOS agent was interrupted as a shrill ringing sounded from 99's handbag at this feet. Reflectively, Němec looked down at the source of the sound and 99's right arm swung down as she hurled the glass pellet at his feet.

The tiny pellet turned into a small geyser of orange smoke as it shattered at Němec's feet, accompanied by a soft phoomp sound. As the KAOS agent failed his arms about, staggering backwards out of the smoke, 99 and Wilkins dodged away to either side in case he opened fired out of desperation as a loud sizzling sound added to the commotion.

"Hloupý CONTROL AGENTS!" Němec yelled coughing as he whipped his left arm about to clear the orange smoke while aiming his weapon only to stop and gape for all that was left in his hand was the curved grip of the revolver with the rest of it turned into a sizzling, drooping molten mess, dripping all over the carpet.

Growling, Němec looked up to see Wilkins charging at him. Before he could react, the undercover agent's right knife hand slammed down on his wrist, popping his hand open and dropping the melted weapon to the floor. Wilkin's left fist whipped through the air smashing across Němec's chin, turning the KAOS agent's head to the left as 99 dived for her purse.

Wilkins right whistled through the air only to have Němec duck under it and hook a stunning right into the CONTROL agent's solar plexus. It bent Wilkins forward slightly and staggered him back a few steps. Němec charged forward, his left hand clamped on Wilkin's shoulder like an eagle's talons on it's prey, pushing his opponent back while delivering a right handed knife hand strike to the CONTROL agent's neck.

Wilkins slumped with agonized grunt as he was pushed past the door but still managed to grab hold of the KAOS agent's lapels. As both continued to struggle, 99 crouched on the floor fumbled with her handbag.

Struggling near the door, Němec's forearms surged up, knocking Wilkin's hands from his jacket. Wilkins managed to lash out with his right leg at the KAOS agent's midsection. Němec twisted swiftly letting the flying foot sweep past his ribcage before grabbing the airborne ankle and kicking the back of Wilkins' other leg. The CONTROL agent grunted in pain as he collapsed onto the floor on his back. He sits up immediately grabbing for his opponent only to have Němec's right fist smash downwards into his jaw flooring him again.

As Wilkins laid where he was, face twisted in agony, head spinning, Němec dashes for the door. His hand was inches from the doorknob when a voice freezes him.

"Hold it!"

The KAOS agent remains still for a moment, hand still out stretched before looking back over his shoulder to find 99 on her feet, her .38 caliber double barreled derringer in her gloved hand aimed at him.

"Ju can't shoot me anymore zarn I could without zilenzer!" Němec chuckled dryly his hand still inches from the door knob.

99's gloved thumb locked back the hammer on her weapon in response, her large eyes narrowing into blue slits as she declared.

"Will you take that chance?"

They remained glaring at each other for the next split second before the door knob clicked and turned of it's own accord calling both their attention to it. The door opened and a sharp, imperious voice announced itself.

"—I was of course stunned! And so I asked Mila and Paco—'Wouldn't it do both your lines even GREATER glory if I were to come model for you AFTER I become Miss Universe? And they both said 'NO'! Because it seemed, they both KNEW that a vacuous title like that was meaningless and it was my unparalleled presence, charm and goddess like beauty that—"

99's eye's widened in alarm as the tall white cloaked figure entered following the voice, brown tresses sweeping behind her over the shoulders of her fur-lined coat and she shouted her warning too late.

"Look out!"

"—they needed and not…"

Pernilla's self-absorbed tale turned into a startled scream as Němec grabbed her, his arm wrapping around her throat and dragging her in, white fur lined coat and long brown mane flying about.

99 stepped forward trying to get a clear aim at Němec as he held the flailing international model in front of him and to add shock to bewilderment, the dim gray-suited individual whom the heiress was speaking to stumbled in after her, wide eyed, mouth agape and ears looking as though they were about to send him airborne.

"Max!" 99 exclaimed as 86 stood there looking back and forth from the groaning Wilkins on the floor to the cursing Pernilla in Němec's headlock.

"Stanis you idiot! What are you doing?!" Pernilla hollered grabbing at the arm around her neck. "This hair took me TWO HOURS at the salon!"

"All of you STAY where you are!" Němec yelled, maintaining his left arms grip around the struggling Pernilla while his right hand whipped out from his jacket causing an indiscernible object to tumble out of the garment and fall to the floor. 99 had no time to look closer for the KAOS agent had something in his hand which he put to his teeth and then yanked it away with a loud click before spitting something off to the side.

"Now, now." Max said his palms facing outwards at the KAOS agent and his hostage. "There's no need to get upset over this. Miss Johansson and I are perfectly happy to drink at the bar in the lobby."

99's eyes darted to the small needle like object on the carpet with a ring attached which Němec had spat out before looking back at him and found the KAOS agent with his right fist raised with a black, oval object in it.

"Max! He has a grenade!" 99 warned trying to keep Němec's head in her sights.

"Any of you move a we ALL die together!" Němec declared, looking back and forth between 99 and Max.

"Stanis, if you so much as put one STRAND of my hair out of place or get a SPOT on my five THOUSAND dollar mink coat—it is OVER between us!" Pernilla fumed slapping at Němec's restraining forearm around her throat.

"You heard her Stan." Max gestured at the heiress. "Think about her coat!"

"Don't come any closer or I drop this and we all die!" Němec threatened, his glimmering eyes darting from one CONTROL agent to the other while clutching the grenade.

"Come on Stan, that's not necessary." Max offered. "We don't mind you dropping the grenade AFTER me and Pernilla leave!"

"Maaaax!" 99 gaped in shock at him.

"I didn't say you and Wilkins couldn't come along!" Max shrugged his eyes popping in amazement.

"Well, this has been interesting," Němec's decisive voice cut through into everyone's attention. "but I haf to be going now. Pernilla—" the KAOS agent turns his attention to the Swedish model in his head lock. "—my sladký dort, as fun as it haz been—I cannot tolerate anyone vith such an EGO!"

"You mean SMALLER than YOURS?!" Pernilla scowled at him over her shoulder. "And speaking of SMALL—it's a term I can apply to OTHER attributes of yours!"

Němec's gleaming eyes popped, square jaw dropping as he stared point blank at Pernilla's cold visage while declaring.

"And zhey call ME the cruel torturer!"

With that, his right arm shot up, hand opened, sending the grenade flying. 99 gasped as she watched the grenade arced through the air in her direction while it's spoon flew off, spinning away on another trajectory. Max stepped forward only to have Pernilla collide into him, flung by the KAOS agent. The tall woman struck him with such force he crashed to the carpet with her on top of him while Němec dashed out the door, slamming it shut behind him. The grenade landed at 99's booted feet and rolled away.

"Get the grenade!" Wilkins yelled struggling to get up.

99 turned lunging for the rolling explosive device.

Pernilla with her hands on the carpet pushed her upper body up and Max beneath her, gasped for breath, his eyes popping as the weight of her white silk clad breasts lifted off his face. She saw 99 stand up with the grenade in her gloved hand.

99 drew her hand back to throw the device and Pernilla screamed in horror.

"NOOOOO!"

"Miss Johansson! Stay like this where it's safe!" Max yelled out beneath her and pulled her down mashing the wobbling spheres of her breasts down onto his face again as 99 hurled the grenade sending it sailing through the air and through the bedroom door before diving to the carpet with Wilkins doing the same.

The entire suite rocked with a deafening thunder and pieces of wood, mattresses, fabric and clothing showered out of the door of the bedroom and rained down on the CONTROL agents and Swedish heiress.

99 was the first one to get up, bits of wood, mattress fabric and pillow feathers stuck to her hair and ultramarine dress.

"Is everyone alright?!" she asked

Wilkins groaned as he sat up, holding the side of his jaw.

"I'm okay!"

"You IDIOTS!" Pernilla hollered shoving herself off Max who was still trying to follow her chest with his face.

As the heiress stomped over the debris strewn floor towards the doorway of the bedroom, Max rushed to the door, feathers and mattress stuffing stuck to his dim gray suit as he called out.

"Ninety-Nine! Come on! We might still be able to catch him!—" Pausing halfway out the door as 99 joined him, Max called after the Swedish model. "—Pernilla! What kind of car does Stan drive and where does he park it?!"

"What do I care?!" Pernilla yelled with a dismissive wave over her shoulder as she reached the bed room door. "I waz almost DONE with him ANYvay...MY WARDROOOOBE! ARRRRR!"

Pernilla screamed, interrupting herself as she gaped in abject horror upon beholding the sight of the carnage inside her bed room, hands raised, clutching at her hair.

"If we catch him we'll make him pay for EVERY piece of clothing that you lost!" 99 yelled.

"—ARRRRRR!—," Pernilla stopped abruptly before glaring back over her shoulder at them. "—He dlives a black Jaguar! I gave him my hotel parking pass zo zher CHEAP-skate could park for free! And for-GET about paying me back! Just STRING him UP by his svenska köttbullar and get me a PICTURE!"

With that she stomps into the bedroom and 86 called after her.

"Right! String! Svenska köttbullar! Picture!"

"Max!" 99 exclaimed in shock at his puppy eyed compliance while 86 grinned sheepishly.

"I'll call this in to CONTROL and take care of things here! You two go get him!" Wilkins got to his feet, still wincing in pain from his jaw and shoulder.

"Thanks Wilkinson!" Max declared as he and 99 dashed away down the corridor.

"IT'S WILKI...arrrgggh forget it!" Wilkins exclaimed tossing his hands up at the empty doorway.

Max and 99 ran down the corridor and around the corner to the elevator lobby, only find the indicator for both cars at the ground floor.

"Stairs! Stairs!" Max announced, running to the staircase door.

A few minutes later, both of them burst out through the rear entrance of the hotel which lead to the carpark. But both of them stopped short for a second at the scene before them even though they fully expected the carpark to be huge and very busy at that time.

The area failed to disappoint as Max and 99 surveyed it, looking left and right. Almost every lot was occupied and there were dozens of people walking about not to mention various cars pulling out of and into lots as well as driving in and out of the entrance.

"Black Jaguar! Black Jaguar! Black Jaguar…" Max kept repeating as he and 99 ran down the rows and columns of lots looking about at the parked and moving vehicles.

"There! A black…" Max yelled pointing only to grit his teeth immediately. "Sorry! It's a Porsch!"

"There it goes!" 99 yelled out next her gloved finger pointing and they started running in the direction she pointed but stopped when 99 realized her error. "No! Aston Martin!"

"There! There! Its…its…" Max's eyes popped as he pointed in another direction. He sighed tossing his hand up in the air. "…it's a Ferrari!"

"Black car over there!" 99 exclaimed pointing ahead.

"Where?! Where?!" Max exclaimed running forward between 2 car lots and stopped standing up on his tip toes.

"Ooooh no Max!" 99 declared in dismay as she reached his side and the vehicle moved into view in the distance. "It's a BMW!"

"This is stupid! This is hopeless! This is.…"

"Max look out!" 99 yelled out grabbing Max's arm and dragging him back just as a horn blared accusingly as a green 1964 Mercedes-Benz 190 zoomed past them on the way to the entrance.

"…exceedingly UN-SAFE!" Max finished stumbling to balance himself, feathers and mattress stuffing flying off his suit as a result of the gust of wind in the wake of the vehicles passage.

"Max wait! Listen!" 99 exclaimed to which Max did.

Engines were revving up or cutting out in the carpark but one of them was distinctive enough to stand out among all the others.

"Yes Ninety-Nine!" Max declared. "That's a Jaguar! Where…it's coming from over there by the south exit!"

They both ran in the direction with Max holding onto 99's gloved hand. As they closed in on the entrance, they saw to their right about 4 rows of cars away, a black vehicle backing out of its lot, its driver gunning the engine loudly. As it cleared it's lot, they recognized it as a Jaguar Mark X.

"It has to be him!" Max declared. "Let's get to the entrance and cut him off!"

Němec spund the steering wheel swerving the MARK X to the left to point it's nose at the entrance. The tires of the car screamed as the vehicle moved, smoke rising from all 4 wheel housings. As the exit came into view, the KAOS agent slammed the gearshift out from reverse and into 3rd gear before flooring the accelerator.

The Jaguar launched forward with a burst of power, hurtling towards the exit, its 4235 cc XK I6 engine droning smoothly. As the exit grew larger and larger in the windshield of the vehicle, the KAOS agent's eyes behind his sunglasses narrowed as the big-eared CONTROL agent in the mattress stuffing covered dim gray suit suddenly ran out from between a row of lots to the left and stopped right in front of the exit. Němec's lips pulled back into a devilish grin as he slammed the gearshift again.

The outsoles of Max's dress shoes skidded to a stop, his knees bent, arms flailing to hold his position right in front of the carpark exit as the black Mark X charged smoothly down at him. Whipping his 5 inch barreled, lugless Smith & Wesson Colt Police Official from it's shoulder holster, 86 levelled it and snapped off two quick shots.

Němec growled, jerking his head as the .38 special shells slammed against the MARK X's windshield, each spreading out a spider-web of cracks.

The Colt Police Official's 5 inch barrel flicked with the recoil of the third shot and the largest of the Mark X's quad headlamp on its right side rounded front fender exploded into dozens of glass shards which rained backwards over it's gleaming black fender and hood with the speeding passage of the vehicle. Němec cursed as Max aimed and squeezed the trigger twice even as the roaring Jaguar eradicated the final 30 meters between it and the CONTROL agent. The two .38 special projectiles drilled through the vaned grill in the Mark X's slightly forward-leaning nose producing a muffled explosion from something under it and steam began hissing outwards from the edges of the hood.

Max barely had time to dive out of the way and he could feel the all too close whipping of hot air against his legs as the Jaguar just missed him on it's way out the exit. The moment it reached the road, the Mark X swerved sharply causing several incoming cars to protest with their horns and tires to screech as they attempted to avoid a collision. Dust and smoke rising from it's tires and steam still oozing out from under it's hood, the Mark X sped down the road, it's engine roaring defiantly, interspersed with miniscule sputters.

As Max got to his feet, the Jaguar disappeared round a corner leaving a number of vehicles stalled. Sharp clacks of heels sounded behind him as 99 caught up to him.

"Max! Are you alright?!"

"Only if we don't have to report this to the Chief!" Max declared tossing a hand in the direction of the escaped vehicle. "Němec's our only lead! Gone! Along with ANY hope I have of getting a RAISE this month!"

"Max, we might be able to get some leads from…" 99 was interrupted by the ringing again from her white purse under her left arm.

Pulling her compact from it again, she opened it up and extended the antenna.

"This is Agent Ninety-Nine. Come in."

Back inside the suite, Wilkins spoke into the room phone, looking at an 8 inch object composed of a plastic casing and metal cap in his hand.

"Wilkins here. Did you get him?"

"Afraid not Wilkins." 99 reported. "Would you know of any way we can track him down through the hotel?"

"Not the hotel but I might have something here." Wilkins offered looking at the object he held. "Němec dropped something when he was pulling that grenade out from his jacket."

"The address of his hideout?" Max asked eagerly leaning towards the compact-phone in 99's gloved hand whilst he pressed the ejector rod to empty the spent cartridges from the cylinder of the Colt Police Official into the palm of his hand.

"No, it's a lighter."

"With the address of his hideout on it?" Max continued as he dropped and thumbed new .38 special cartridges into the chambers of the revolver's cylinder, the former causing 99 to narrow her eyes at him.

"The label on the lighter—" Wilkins noted turning the lighter over and peering at it, his smile lines deepening even more as he read the print. "—it says Harvey's Gas Station, Garage—"

"—And Secret KAOS-Robbery-Unit-Hideout?" Max tried again as he reloaded the 4th chamber of his revolver.

"—at Fourth and Vermont." Wilkins finished.

"Oh." Max pouted slightly as he locked home the reloaded cylinder and holstered the 5 inch barreled revolver. "Would'ev been better if it said Secret KAOS-Robbery-Unit-Hide…"

"Wait a second!" 99 exclaimed shaking her gloved fist before her big eyes widened, throwing a soft blue light from her irises. "Němec's disguise kit! These kits usually comes with a supply of toner to help remove the adhesives. He must have run out, because the toner Wilkins and I found in his kit wasn't KAOS issue. It had the same label the lighter had! He must have just purchased it from the gas station as well instead of bothering with requisitioning more from KAOS! He must go to this gas station often."

"Makes sense." Wilkins agreed "Němec's been living with Pernilla here for months in dis…."

Wilkins was interrupted by an ear piercing, gut wrenching screech blasting out from the bedroom door making him turn in the direction. It took him a moment, to realize an eagle had not accidentally flown into the suite nor was it a mountain lion committing some form of self-flagellation routine but actually Pernilla screaming.

"MY EMILIO PUCCI DRESS! AND…NOOOOO….NOT MY GERNREICH MONOKINIIIIIIS!"

Wilkins sighed, turning his attention back to the phone.

"It makes sense. Fourth and Vermont is less than ten minutes from here. It'd be pretty convenient."

"But how does that help us?" Max grimaced "We need da know where the robbery unit's HIDEOUT is since he's probably heading there right now."

"Wait." 99 thought gloved knuckle pressed to her delicate chin. "I don't think he'd risk staying someplace so close to his hideout. And his car is damaged. Max, you shot out his headlight. He wouldn't get far without a policeman pulling him over. He wouldn't risk the delay!"

Max shook a finger as he began to follow 99's train of thought while his other hand rested on his hip.

"You're right Ninety-Nine! Did you see the steam coming out from under the hood as he drove off? I'm pretty sure my last shot might have damaged his radiator. He won't get far if he doesn't at least get it patched!"

"You two go check it out." Wilkins agreed. "By the way, I spoke to…"

"MY JEAN MUIR EVENING GOWNS!" was Pernilla's next proclamation from the bedroom cutting Wilkins off making him roll his eyes in exasperation as she continued "OOOOH WHAT CRUEL ACT OF FATE IS THIIIIIS?!"

"…to the Chief." Wilkins continued "I'll update him on where you're headed. The Chief now wants you to capture Němec as he's on to us so he won't head for the gang's hideout. Interrogating him is our only chance to find out their plans."

"Understood Wilkins." 99 acknowledged. "We'll keep the Chief appraised as we go. Ninety-Nine out."

"Good luck." Wilkins said and hung up the phone but turned again as Pernilla hollered from her room.

"FORGET THE PICTURE! I'm going to FRY his isterband MYSELF!"

Wilkins groaned, only partially due to his throbbing jaw and neck as he shook his head.

"I'm DEFINITELY not making employee-of-the-month."

"We're just a few minutes away Ninety-Nine!" Max assured shifting gears swiftly

In the passenger seat, 99 held onto her yellow beret which flapped wildly as the Sunbeam tiger sped along the road passing vehicle after vehicle while her other white gloved hand braced against the dashboard.

"Taking the next right!" Max announced.

No sooner had he said that, 86 shifted gears and stomped on the accelerator making the Sunbeam Tiger surge forward with a burst of power just before yanking the steering wheel to the right. 99 grabbed hold of the car door handle as she was hurled to the left, seat belt cutting into her cleavage as the Sunbeam Tiger turned in a red flash as it negotiated the turn.

Without slackening in velocity, Max angled past a delivery truck and over took several cars.

"I hope we find him Ninety-Nine!" Max scowled as he swerved to the right to bypass a Le Sabre. "The Chief must be FUMING back in the office! He really wanted Němec to lead us to the gang!"

"Don't' worry Max! You'll figure out a way. I know you will!" 99 reassured him. "It's lucky you called my compact phone when you did. Němec was about to shoot both Wilkins and me. But why were you and Pernilla coming up to the room? Weren't you stalling her in the lobby?"

"I was!" Max exclaimed yanking the steering wheel to the left to avoid a Citroen. "I told her I was a reporter for the New York Times there da interview her! She asked me up to her room for some drinks! So I called to warn you that we were on our way!"

"So you AGREED to drink with her in her ROOM?!" 99 exclaimed her blue eyes wide.

"Well I HAD to Ninety-Nine!" Max declared. "No reporter in his right mind would turn down a drink from a tall, long-legged, voluptuous, luscious-lipped, supermodel goddess like Pernilla! It's a dirty job but we reporters will do whatever it TAKES to get a story!"

"You're NOT a reporter Max!" 99 exclaimed.

"Well if I ever become one," Max replied, his lips pouting as he nodded with certainty. "I'll be well prepared for the sacrifices that comes with interviewing tall, long-legged, voluptuous, luscious-lipped, supermodel goddesses! I'll tell you Ninety-Nine—" Max closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head with gravely. "—it is a GREAT sacrifice!" Which of course makes 99 grimace as she cast him a sideways look that could burn holes into his big ear.

The Sunbeam Tiger finally eased to a smooth stop at a junction, outside a row of delicatessens and jewelry shops.

"There's Harvey's gas station down to the right Ninety-Nine. My bino-specs are in the glove compartment."

99 put on the bino-specs and adjusted the eye pieces. As the facility came into focus, it appeared to be a standard filling station found anywhere in the United States. This one had the typical colorful high square roof standing on several thick pillars over the forecourt where the pump machines were. Large blue and green neon letters were mounted on the forecourt roof spelling out 'HARVEY'S GAS STATION & GARAGE' though not turned on now in the day. The gas station's one story rectangular main building appeared comprised of two parts; the point of sale area which was also a convenience store while the other half of the building was the small garage or motor vehicle workshop.

"Well?" Max asked as 99 removed the bino-specs.

"I don't see Němec anywhere and there aren't any customers inside the convenience store." 99 confirmed. "But the garage half of the building is further from us so I can't see into the garage from this angle."

"Okay. We'll have to go in. I'll let the Chief know." Max said lifting his right foot and removing his shoe.

Twisting the heel to unlock it, he removes the outsole, flips up the folding mouth piece and quickly uses the small rotary dial inside the mouth piece housing. As 99 keeps watch at the gas station in the distance, Max puts the circular receiver where the heel had been to his ear.

"This is Agent Eight-Six, calling CONTROL." Max stated. "Eighty-Six calling CONTROL. Come in CONTROL."

In his office, the Chief held the handset of his phone tightly to his ear as he fought to control his voice.

"Yes Max! What's the situation?"

"Chief, we're now at Harvey's gas station at Fourth and Vermont." Max reported looking down the road. "We can't tell if Němec is in there from where we are. We'll have da go in and take a look."

"Alright Max. Don't make a scene if he's not there." the Chief nodded as he held the receiver and clenches a fist for emphasis. "But if he is, DON'T let him get away! We need him alive for interrogation. He's our only lead to the robbery unit!"

"Right Chief." Max nodded. "We'll be in touch on how it turns out."

With that, he flips shut the mouth piece and replaces the sole of the shoe informing 99.

"Here's what we'll do Ninety-Nine. We'll drive up casually, ask them to fill up the gas and we'll check out both the store and the garage."

"Right Max."

The Sunbeam Tiger eased forward from the junction onto the road and turned to the right, heading towards the gas station. As the approached the forecourt, they could see clearly through the glass panel wall of the convenience store/point of sales half of the main building and noting it was empty except for a single staff seated behind the service counter near the door. It was a heavy set man in blue denim overalls over a lighter blue uniform like shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his big upper arms. His hair was red and shaggy and he was seated in a swivel chair with his back to the door watching a small television on the top of the counter at the side.

Upon hearing the Sunbeam's engine, the man turned in his chair revealing a face with a full grown but well-trimmed beard and a thick cigar clenched between his teeth. He however appeared to have little interest in potential customers unless they walked into the convenience store proper and turned right back to the television.

As Max eased the Sunbeam to a stop next to one of the pump stations, a gas jockey with his long dark brown hair in a curtain, wearing a greasy blue coverall, trotted over from the entrance of the garage where he had been talking to a similarly dressed man relaxing in a chair.

"Afternoon to ya! Fill her up?" the gas jockey greeted when he reached them, immediately pulling a big spray bottle from one of his oversized coverall pockets along with a squeegee.

"Thanks—Jeremy!" Max returned reading the name tag on the gas jockey's coverall and noting that he was in his early twenties with a high forehead and well defined chin. "Plus I need the battery looked at."

"You can talk to Wyatt, our mechanic while I take care of the gas." Jeremy titled his head over his shoulder towards the garage entrance as he sprayed the cleaning solution on the Sunbeam's windscreen and applied the squeegee. "But you'll have da wait. Some guy in there with his Jag's cracked radiator."

"Oh, that's no problem." Max shrugged opening the car door. "C'mon honey."

Before 99 could get out, Jeremy hurried over to her side of the door and smiling brightly, opened the door for her with a courteous nod and smile which did not hide the excited gleam in his eye as he studied her.

"Ma'am." Jeremy nodded as 99 stepped

"Thank you Jeremy." 99 smiled graciously as she put her boots to the ground and stood up, reaching her left arm through her handbag's handles put them on her left shoulder, tucking the bag under her arm.

While Jeremy continued cleaning their windshield, Max and 99 trotted towards the garage of the gas station.

"Ok Ninety-Nine." Max whispered as they approached the large drive-in entrance of the garage. "You stay behind me and I'll take care of Němec. You just keep the mechanics calm so no one panics."

"Right Max." 99 nodded keeping up a casual smile.

Snoring could be heard as they approached the mechanic seated to whom the gas jockey had been speaking to earlier, in the wooden arm chair to the left of the garage entrance. He was now slouched in his seat, legs stretched out and crossed over each other, cap pulled down over his eyes and thick grease covered veiny arms crossed over his growing paunch. His ragged oil stained name tag read "BROCK". His mouth was opened, producing the buzz saw like snore as his belly rose and fell.

Leaving the snoozing Brock behind them, Max and 99 entered the garage which stretched away from them for about 50 feet with a width of about slightly half of that. At the opposite end was a similar sized entrance in the northern wall, allowing vehicles to simply drive through. Overall, it was not as shoddy as some auto-mechanic workshops Max had seen, with tools expectedly found littering the blackened floor along with puddles of grease and multicolored engine oil.

The western wall had a long table lining it covered with various engine parts and more tools. Where the table ended, halfway down the length of the wall, was a door which must lead to the convenience store half of the main building. A wheeled air compressor was parked at the eastern wall along with some air tanks for inflating of tires along with a few opened drums filled with waste oil.

But they had little time to contemplate the aesthetics embraced by the hard working members of the auto industry as they immediately saw the black Jaguar Mark X parked inside, it's rear bumper facing them, 20 feet or so inside the southern entrance. The hood was opened and there standing next to the front right wheel, his back to them, was the black suited Němec, with a matching fedora on, his hands on his hips in a posture of consternation and annoyance.

"Well, there's your problem right there." Came a lazy voice.

Quietly, Max proceeded led the way towards the Jaguar as 99 slipped behind him, her right gloved hand sliding into her handbag under her left armpit.

"Pal, you gat a serious hole in your radiator right here." Continued the lazy voice. "I'm surprised you got five miles without it blowing apart!"

As Max walked stealthily down the right side of the Jaguar with 99 at his back, closing in on the back of the unsuspecting KAOS agent, the speaker appeared, straightening up from where he had been bent under the hood; a tall man at 6ft or so, stout mid-section pushing against his baggy, oil stained coveralls and the heavy tool belt round his wide waist, with the ragged name tag on his chest reading "WYATT".

As Max closed in on Němec's back, Wyatt pushed his crumpled uniform cap back from his lined forehead and squinted gray eyes at his customer.

"I'm afraid it's two weeks for a replacement. It would'ev been cheaper da pay off your bookie so he didn't' shoot it into a block of Swiss cheese!" The auto-mechanic pronounced causing the KAOS agent to bow his head forward and grunt in frustration. "If you're in a hurry, the best I can do is mix up a sealant. But that'll hold for barely a few hours."

"That WON'T be necessary Wyatt!" Max announced stopping a few steps behind Němec and drawing his Smith & Wesson Colt Police Official. "Alright Němec hands up!"

The KAOS agent stiffened at Max's voice immediately and Wyatt's jaw dropped, eyes popping at the sight of Max's revolver.

"Don't worry Wyatt!" Max declared his other hand lifting up with a red leather bill fold as Němec slowly raised his hands. "We're government agents and we're placing this man under arrest."

Wyatt leaned forward squinting at the bill fold.

"The Washington LIBRARY?! What, he borrowed a hundred books and didn't return them or something?" The auto-mechanic puzzled.

Max frowned and pulled his bill fold back to look at it and grimaced at his library card. He flipped through the pages in it and held it out again.

"Alright Němec, you're coming with us."

"Sorry pal that discount card is only good for Ollie and Pa's Gas Station at the West side on D Street." Wyatt continued squinting, gesturing at the billfold, his other thumb hooked in his tool belt.

Max pulled the bill fold back again to stare and it and rolled his eyes as he flipped through the display pockets and again thrusted up the billfold.

Max's eyes popped again as brought the billfold back again for another stare as again thumbed through the various pockets in it while holding his at the KAOS agent's back before showing it to the auto-mechanic again.

"We don't validate your parking here." Was Wyatt's next response causing Max to bring the billfold back and continued flipping through it again with his thumb before displaying it again.

"We do carry that brand of crackers but your coupons expired."

Max rolled his eyes and brought the billfold back for another furious round of flipping before he held it out again.

"Who's the old lady?"

Max's eyes popped as he yanked back his arm and stared at the picture he was actually showing Wyatt.

"Sorry that's my Aunt Rose." Max said sheepishly as he started flipping again. "I have it…uuuhh….it's here somewhere….uuuhhh…Ninety-Nine! Could you gimme a hand..."

"Here! Here!" 99 declared holding up her billfold with her federal identification over Max's shoulder.

As Wyatt mouthed 'oh' as he finally saw the proper credentials 99 held up, Max flicked the 5 inch barrel of his Colt Police Official.

"Alright Němec! Turn around slowly. We're gonna we're have a little chat back at headquarters. Let' go."

The KAOS agent sighed and turned with his hands up as 99 looked down, pushing her billfold back into her handbag. She happened to glance up and froze, her gloved hand still inside her purse, her eyes wide with shock as Němec faced them.

As 99 gasped, Max frowned at the flat-nosed, pork marked, blunt chinned visage of the man before him.

"Oh, sorry! Our mistake." Max shrugged. "We were looking for ANOTHER international agent of evil."

Flat-nose now grinned taking a step to this left to reveal Wyatt now also smirking, his right arm levelled at them over the 4235 cc XK I6 engine of the Jaguar. Steam rising from the damaged radiator curled around his out stretched arm at the end of which was a Walter P38 in his greasy hand.

At that moment, a sharp rattling sounded behind them made 99 turn her head, right gloved hand still frozen inside her purse, to see a flash of grease stained blue coverall flashing out from underneath the Mark X just in-front of the rear right wheel. It took her a moment to realize it was another auto-mechanic, this one lying on a creeper. The man's towheaded hair was slit back though with hair gel or the oil from the garage, 99 could not tell. His pale green eyes glittered with focus above his narrow face and hooked nose as he sat up on the creeper, his right arm levelled up at her with a Zastava M57 pistol, his dirty coveralls crumpling with his movement, almost obscuring the name tag bearing the name "GRANT".

99 whipped her head back to the front, gasping.

"Max! It's a trap!"

Flat-nose's right hand was now coming out of his sports-jacket with a 4 inch barrelled 357. Magnum Colt Python in a Royal Blue finish. As he held the weapon's full lug, ventilated rib barrel at waist level, Max grimaced.

"Either that or this gas station has the BEST customer loyalty programme EVER!"

TO BE CONTINUED

Written by

Resurgent-class

Thank you for getting to the end of Part 1! I do appreciate it! I hope you'll continue with Part 2 and hopefully, future fan-fics if any, will be a LOT shorter!

For those interested and still awake at this point, here's some Trivia from Part 1! Feel free to comment in your reviews!

The Hotel Cramley, where the diamond fair and robbery took place in the opening scene, is featured in the original series in Season 1, Episode 2, Diplomat's Daughter.

The manner in which the Hotel Cramely is robbed with advance teams securing key points in preparation for the main force, is inspired partly by the first robbery of the jewellery store in the hilarious action-comedy, Beverly Hills Cop II (just my personal opinion, the best of the trilogy)

After the Hotel Cramley robbery, SS-19 orders Gerd and Kerstin to hand the sorted diamonds over to Sommers and Winters of the League of Bald-Headed Men, presumably to be smuggled behind the Iron Curtain. Sommers and Winters, along with the league is featured in the original series in Season 4, Episode 5, Diamonds Are a Spy's Best Friend, where they attempt to steal and smuggle the Morris Diamond which Max inadvertently gets his hands on as an engagement ring for 99.

The events of this fan-fic occurs after Season 1, Episode 8, The Day Smart Turned Chicken and before Season 1, Episode 9, Satan Place. In greeting Max and 99 at the scene of the armoured car robbery, the Chief congratulates Max on his great testimony at the KAOS trial. This refers to the trial Max was preparing to testify for in The Day Smart Turned Chicken.

At the scene of the armored car robberies, the Chief says he has a robbery case for Max to which 86 promptly asks "Who do you want me da rob?" This is a reference to the similar joke in Season 1, Episode 2, Diplomat's Daughter, in which the Chief tells Max he has a kidnapping case for him and Max of course asks, "Who do you want me to kidnap?" This Fan-Fic takes place about 6 episodes after that which explains why the Chief is frustrated that Max always seems to think he is being asked to commit a felony.

Max at the scene of the armoured car robberies is dubious of how the Cramley managed to organize a diamond trade fair after what happened to their guests. Max is referring to the multiple kidnappings of young blonde women from the hotel Cramley as the Claw had trouble recognizing the real Princess Ingrid in Season 1, Episode 2, Diplomat's Daughter.

Professor Windish at at the scene of the armoured car robberies: "It's KAOS' new Variable High-Intensity Beam Projector. We know they perfected it less than four months ago. Basically, a battlefield version of our more subtle pocket disintegrator and laser pen." The Pocket Disintegrator Pen is featured in Season 1, Episode 7, KAOS in CONTROL in which Max uses it to cut through the conference room wall, not knowing it is the Chief's office on the other side while the similar Laser Pen is seen in the Season 3 episode, Viva Smart where Max uses it to cut through the wall of the prison cell they were in, only emerge in the yard where General Diablo Pajarito's firing squad awaited them.

Max at the scene of the armoured car robberies inquired if the armoured cars were also delivering cash to Sherman's Bank at third street. This is the bank featured in Season 3, Episode 18, Don't Look Back, which Max was accused of robbing after he failed to secure a loan there.

During the briefing scene in the Chief's office, the fire extinguisher slide projector and the projector screen on the reverse side of the picture are both featured in Season 1, Episode 11, Too Many Chiefs.

In the Chief's Office, the Chief states that KAOS is using the Super Sleep tranquilizer gas to carry out the robberies. This is not an invention seen in the original series but a creation for my series of fan-fics. It is mentioned in my first fan-fic RADIO KAOS, as one of the military secrets transmitted out of the country by KAOS' secret shortwave radio station.

In the Chief's office, the Chief mentions Super Sleep's Phase 2 involves modifying the gas to enhance it's effectiveness in non-enclosed areas and delivery system using missiles or bombs. This fan-fic conceptualizes that Super Sleep's phase 2 will eventually be the tranquilizing agent used in the tranquilizer bomb known as the TK-800 which is the formula The Claw was smuggling through his chain of Chinese laundry shops in Season 1, Episode 25, The Amazing Harry Hoo.

During the briefing scene in the Chief's office, Max makes references to the Guild of Surviving CONTROL Agents and CONTROL requiring their agents to stow away instead of flying home on tourist class if they are kidnapped by enemy agents and taken to a foreign country. This is all featured in Season 2, Episode 2, Strike While the Agent is Hot.

In the briefing scene, Caronia is mentioned including their supply of a mineral for the United State's X2 program as well as King Charles VIII, Prince Charles and Prince Basil which are all featured in Season 3, Episode 14, The King Lives?, in which Prince Basil as Prime Minister tries to assassinate Prince Charles before his coronation so as to become King himself and turn the mineral over to presumably Iron Curtain countries. This piece of fan-fic story conceptualizes how Prince Basil ascends to the role of Prime Minister preceding the events of The King Lives?

During the briefing with the fire extinguisher slide projector in the Chief's office, many KAOS agents and CONTROL agents from the original series are mentioned :

CONTROL Agents

Agent 17 who first spots SS-19 with Christopher in Herăstrău Park in Bucharest. This is the 17 in Season 2, Episode 7, The Decoy where the Chief could not bear to let him be the decoy as he was married with 2 children

Agent 32 who picks up SS-19's trail in Chişinău. Agent 32 is the agent guarding the ill-fated Professor Longnecker before Max relieves him in Season 3, Episode 13, The Mysterious Dr. T

Agent 35 who goes to Boscolo Budapest Hotel to relieve 30 only to find him missing. 35 is featured in Season 2, Episode 2, Strike While the Agent is Hot, where he attends the secret strike meeting for the Guild of Surviving CONTROL Agents chaired by Max. 35 is 5 minutes late for the meeting and runs in but appears to be invisible.

Agent 77 who photographs Gerd Vollmar and Otto Cronin in Le Mans while undercover as a restaurant Maitre'D. 77 is the ill-fated agent in Season Two, Episode 22, Smart Fit the Battle of Jericho, who while undercover as a building inspector, is compromised and killed by KAOS agent Carlos.

Agent 63, Joe Froebus, Karlskrona mission. Joe Froebus is seen in Season 2, Episode 17, Someone Down Here Hates Me, with a new face following plastic surgery after a train wreck

Agent 88, Karlskrona mission. Mentioned only in Season 4, Episode 23, Leadside, staking out Highway 94 in dragnet to capture the eponymous criminal genius.

Agent 85, Karlsrona mission. Another ill-fated agent, featured in Season 1, Episode 13, Aboard the Orient Express. Max foreshadows his death by saying 85 is too tough to be killed by bullets and knives, which comes true as 85 is killed about 4 episodes after this fan-fic by poisoned gas in Season 1, Episode 13, Aboard the Orient Express.

KAOS Agents

Christopher, with SS-19 in Herăstrău Park in Bucharest. Christopher is featured in Season 2, Episode 4, The Only Way to Die, as one of The Blaster's henchman

Eric Kruger, with SS-19 in Ştefan cel Mare Central Park in Moldova. Eric Kruger is featured in Season 2, Episode 18, Cutback at CONTROL, where Max kills him in a shootout outside a movie theatre

Schnell, disguised as a priest and meets SS-19 in the Basilica of the Virgin Mary in Brezje, Slovenia. Schnell is seen in Season 2, Episode 23, Where-What-How-Who Am I?, where he is a KAOS group leader planning to kill U.S space scientists at Jet Space Labs with a bomb in a snack truck

Natz, who meets SS-19 at the Hungarian State Opera House. Natz is featured in Season 1, Episode 19, Back to the Old Drawing Board, a KAOS agent that Max sent to prison for 10 years and commissions Dr. Ratton to capture Dr. Shotwire suing Hymie.

Otto Cronin seen with Gerd Vollmar in the restaurant in Le Mans. Otto Cronin is seen in Season 5, Episode 10, The Apes of Rath, paying Dr. Matthew Rath to kill CONTROL agents with his trained, genetically altered ape, Chucko.

Kosovich in the mission with Gerd in Karlskrona. Kosovich features in Season 2, Episode 13, Perils in a Pet Shop, and Max confronts him in a comical slow-motion fist fight in the end due to both being tranquilized.

Belasco, leading the Karlskrona mission. Belasco is the KAOS agent in charge of brainwashing the captive Professor Phineas Pheasant in Season 5, Episode 1, Pheasant Under Glass.

Melnik, the Smiling Killer in Norwich with Kerstin. Melnik is the chief villain in Season 2, Episode 13, Perils in a Pet Shop, in which the KAOS front he runs "Kilmen's Pet Shop" is basically his name Melnik with the alphabets rearranged and this fan-fic follows this M.O with "Elmkin's Antiques".

Commander Hathaway of British CONTROL mentioned in the Norwich operation. The Commander is featured in Season 3, Episode 10, That Old Gang of Mine, where he is revealed to be a KAOS double agent and the enigmatic Mr X, master of the Scorpion Gang. In this fan-fic, the Norwich mission is believed compromised by a mole in British CONTROL and it is implied that it was Hathaway who tipped off Melnik and Kerstin.

The Chief in the briefing worries about impending budget cuts against CONTROL which is finally seen to happen for the first time in Season 2, Episode 18, Cutback at CONTROL.

The way the Marquise makes her appearance, depicting her luxurious mansion followed by a scene of her sparring in karategi with a few opponents to the backdrop of classical music as well as some of the moves (sorry, pardon my atrocious descriptions) is inspired by the scene from The Karate Kid Part III where Terry Silver (Thomas Ian Griffith) makes his entrance.

The Marquise's physical features are designed based on the sublime actress of the late 60s and early 80s, Ira von Fürstenberg, as a reference model (apologies if my descriptions do no justice). Coincidentally, according to IMDB, Ms Fürstenberg is also of royal blood.

In her secret underground laboratory, the Marquise refers to a Brainwashing Pill that causes a person to carry out a particular action in response to a trigger word. This drug is featured in Season 1, Episode 22, Smart the Assassin, a development by KAOS agent Cedric Devonshire who gives it to Max so he would shoot the Chief. But when Devonshire shouts the trigger word "Checkmate" instead, Max ends up shooting him, demonstrating the flaw the Marquise describes.

The Marquise mentions the Chameleon who is featured as the main undefeated villain in Season 4, Episode 8, The Return of the Ancient Mariner.

The Büchner funnel and Florence flask phone the Oberführer uses is similar to the Test Tube Phone Max and the Chief uses in Season 1, Episode 10, Our Man in Leotards, with von Graf making the same mistake as Max does.

When von Graf speaks to Mr Big on the Büchner funnel and Florence flask phone, he states he can hear an aria from The Magic Flute in the background implying that this Mr Big is Badeff and he is at Badeff Concert Hall.

The conference room that Max and 99 examines the case files in is the same conference/situation room, from Season 1, Episode 6, Washington 4, Indians 3, where Max and the Chief consults with the Chief of Staffs of the Army, Air Force and Navy.

Hampton's Fine Food which Max suggests for lunch as it validates parking and has good bacon and eggs, is featured in Season 2, Episode 4, The Only Way to Die. And while bacon and eggs is indeed unusual for lunch (Just me. Insights anyone?), that is exactly what Max ordered while keeping surveillance on Stromberg and Christopher in The Only Way to Die as Max states he was waiting for his bacon and eggs and he needed to have his "lunch" or he cannot validate his parking. The eatery is seen again in Season 2, Episode 15, Kiss of Death and Season 2, Episode 17, Someone Down Here Hates Me.

The Master Identification File Max and 99 uses is first seen in Season 2, Episode 13, Perils in a Pet Shop and I believe later again in Season 3, Episode 13, The Mysterious Dr. T. Just like in Perils in a Pet Shop, Max causes a malfunction in the machine in this fan-fic fully justifying the Chief, and Professors Windish and Carlson's fears.

Translation of Spanish conversations in Brenda J Coving's Café scene (apologies, all courtesy of Google Translate. Those of you who speak Spanish please point out my mistakes. Thanks!)

Waitress to Brenda: "Brenda, las placas se están acabando. Julio necesita ayuda."

"Brenda, the plates are running out. Julio needs help."

Brenda: "Sí. Ve y ayuda."

"Yes. Go and help."

Raoul: "Qué?"

"What?"

Brenda: "Los pasteles!Ellos stán listos!"

"The pies! They are ready!" (I cannot seem to get the right word for pies!)

Raoul: "No hay problema jefe!"

"No problem boss!"

The Chief makes reference to locating the venue of the KAOS Annual Dance, an event mentioned in one of the great episodes which features Siegfried, Season 2, Episode 9, Rub-A-Dub-Dub... Three Spies in a Sub.

The Chief and Max mentions the Alledon Arms Hotel which is featured in Season 3, Episode 5, Maxwell Smart, Private Eye. Just like in the episode, in this fan-fic, Max refers to it as a hotel in dismal condition and the Chief mentions their highly sought commercial rate which CONTROL finally attains in Maxwell Smart, Private Eye.

CONTROL agent Wilkins, undercover at the Peer Gynt as a bell hop is featured in Season 4, Episodes 25 & 26, The Not-So-Great-Escape, Parts I & II. He is one of the CONTROL agents held prisoner in Camp Gitchie Goomee Noonee Wa-Wa. In the episodes, Max refers to him as Wilkinson while the Chief calls him Wilkins. Putting aside mistakes on the part of the actors, one plausible in-universe explanation offered by Get Smart Wiki, is that Max with his habit of verbal gaffs and confusion over names, addresses him erroneously while the Chief is correct in calling him Wilkins.

The Hotel Peer Gynt hotel featured prominently in Season 2, Episodes 28 A Man Called Smart, Part I where Max makes contact with informer Russell Bediyoskin. My description despite reference to the DVD is sadly lacking.

While speaking covertly with Wilkins in the Peer Gynt's lobby, Max inadvertently shows Wilkins a picture of Phyllis Diller instead of Němec. An inside joke directed at Season 5, Episode 1, Pheasant Under Glass, in which Phyllis Diller indeed makes a cameo appearance as Maxwell Smart while he is trying out different plastic surgery disguises.

When confronted by Němec in Pernilla Johansson's room, Wilkins uses a cover name of "Miss Westbrook" for 99. This is based on the cover name "Melissa Westbrook" which 99 uses about 9 episodes after this fan-fic in Season 1, Episode 17, Kisses for KAOS.

Němec mentions the KAOS benefit of 25% Suffering Bonus if their wounds are not instantly fatal. This is featured in Season 2, Episode 2, Strike While the Agent is Hot, by the KAOS agent shot by his own revolver in the struggle with Max in the latter's apartment.

Wyatt, the KAOS agent at Harvey's Gas Station and Garage mentions Ollie and Pa's Gas Station at the West side on D Street. This address is featured in Season 3, Episode 11, The Mild Ones, and it is also where the Purple Knights hang-out Dee Dee's Diner is located.

Translation of Czech in Němec's conversations (again, apologies, resources limited to Google Translate. Czech speakers, please point out my mistakes. Thanks very much!)

Němec to 99 and Wilkins: "I just want to zee you two squvirm likečerv before I revealed zhat zher game is UP!"

: worm

Němec to 99 and Wilkins: "You! Agent Ninety-Nine! Your purse! Toss it on…Your GUN! And no triky!"

: tricks

Němec to 99 and Wilkins: "Děkuji! Děkuji! A now! Time to say—rozloučení!"

: Thank you! Farewell!

Němec to 99 and Wilkins: "Hloupý CONTROL AGENTS!"

: Stupid

Němec to Pernilla: "—my sladký dort, as fun as it haz been—I cannot tolerate…"

: sweet cake