Kate had been sat on that swing for nearly an hour and a half, letting the rain wash over her. She was ice cold and shivering, goosebumps covering every inch of her body, but she still wasn't ready to go home. She needed more time. She needed someone to talk to, someone she trusted, and who would listen to her without judgement, someone who she had always managed to be open and honest with. He was the only person she could talk to about these things. She wasn't sure what it was about him, but she always felt safe there, in Dr Burke's office.

She didn't have an appointment, but he was usually fine about seeing her. To be honest, most of the time she tended to just show up unannounced. She never knew when she was going to need him, so it was hard to know when to schedule an appointment.

She walked through the doors of his building, leaving a trail of rainwater as she walked. She was so drenched that the water was still pouring off of her. At least it was warm in there though. She spoke to the receptionist who told her it was fine to go straight on up; she would call and let him know.

Just as she arrived at his office, the door opened.

"Kate? What happened to you?"

"I took a walk in the rain."

"Looks like it was more than a walk. How long were you out there?"

"About two hours or so."

"Take your jacket off and tell me why you're here." Dr Burke gestured for her to sit in the chair by the heater. She was thankful for that. She sat down and began retelling him the story of what had happened recently. She told him about her fight with the sniper, the recent death threat, and her new relationship with Castle.

"That's terrible Kate, I'm really sorry. How are you coping with that? How is it affecting your PTSD symptoms?"

"No, the PTSD is better. Most of those symptoms have gone now. I still get the nightmares sometimes, but the rest seem to be gone. The nightmares have changed. Now I'm falling off the building over and over. I've been waking up screaming. And I literally do have crosshairs on my back again, and there's not a lot I can do about it. I have to go after these guys. I have to stop them."

"Is that a good idea?"

"What else is there? If I don't, they will kill me anyway."

"Are you positive that they are coming after you?"

"Castle believes this guy, trusts what he says. And I trust Castle. So yes, I'm positive."

"I know there's no changing your mind. Just be careful, ok?"

"I will."

"Now, let's talk about Rick Castle." he said. "So, you finally took that step and told him how you feel about him. That's a big step for you. How do you feel now he knows?"

"I don't feel empty anymore. That something missing... I think it was him. I can still feel the weight of my mother's murder and my shooting, but it's less now."

"That's good."

Her phone started to buzz. It was Castle. She'd already missed 5 calls from him. He must be worried. He rung again and this time she pressed 'reject'. She wasn't ready to talk to him. She needed to sort out her head first, but she ought to text him to let him know she was ok.

"Was that Rick?"

"Yeah. I'll talk to him later."

"You're still unsure of yourself around him. I can see that you're scared. What is it that you're scared of, Kate?"

"I don't know… maybe I was still too late. I've wasted so much time. What if my time is nearly up? And I only have a week, a month, a year with him. We could have had the last four years."

"Or you could have rushed into it when you weren't ready and it could have been over, without even having those first four years. The way you talk about him, the way you've always spoken about him, those four years, you were in a relationship with him. It may have been platonic, but it doesn't make the love you shared any less real."

Kate sat quietly, lost in thought. He didn't disturb her, he just let her think. She thought about what Dr Burke had said, that she may have lost him four years ago. That would have been worse. She couldn't have gotten through these past years without him. He had been there for her through everything, even when he should have walked away. Even when she treated him badly, he had stuck around. She thought about all the heartache she has caused him over the years. The way that she had flirted with him, and then flaunted these men that she was dating in front of him. At the time she hadn't realised how he felt or hadn't wanted to admit it to herself, but he had loved her all this time. She felt like she had somehow cheated on him. It made no sense, but the guilt was there. Why did he love her? Why had he stayed all this time? She didn't feel like she deserved it. She couldn't even tell him she loved him back.

A single tear ran down her cheek.

"Kate?"

She looked up. She had forgotten where she was. "I'm really sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Do you want to tell me what's upsetting you?"

"I don't deserve him. He is good, and honest, and loving. And I'm a mess. Damaged goods."

"Yes, you've been through a lot. But why does that mean you don't deserve to be happy? You dedicate your life to fighting crime, doing good."

"I have dedicated my life to getting revenge on the people that killed my mother."

"Is that really how you see it?"

Kate looked away and stared out of the window at the rain hammering down outside.

"You fight for justice, Kate. Justice not only for yourself and your mother, but for hundreds, maybe thousands of others. You fight for the truth. That is good, honest work, Kate. It makes you a good person. You need to learn to accept that you do deserve to be happy, deserve to be loved. Rick sees the good in you. He accepts who you are and loves every part of you. The good and the bad."

"I know... I love him too."

"The good and the bad?"

She laughed. "Yeah, the good and the bad." She thought about all the ways he irritated her, how he got jealous when he saw her with other guys, how he always did stupid things when trying to help her. These things just made her love him more. Maybe he felt the same about her.

"Then that's what you need to tell him. Are you ready to do that?"

"I think so."

She was ready, at least, to go home now. She felt better. Dr Burke had not done anything that could save her from the snipers, but he had saved her from herself. There was just one more place to go before she headed over to Castle's apartment. One more person to see... her mother. She walked back through the rain to the graveyard. She was more aware of the cold now, more aware of her surroundings. She was no longer walking around in a daze. Her mother's grave was inscribed with the words 'Vincit Omnia Veritas' meaning 'Truth conquers all things'. She took power from that. Her mother had always been her source of strength. Even in death that had not changed. She realised that she knew what she wanted, what she needed to say. The hint of a smile appeared on her lips; she knew she was ready.